Forever Dauntless
by NikiV666
Summary: No war. Tris makes the choice of her life. Will she be strong enough to pass Initiation; even with a certain leader following and assessing her every move?
1. Dreams

**Hey guys! So I finally overcame my fear and began my first ever fan-fiction in my favorite universe! I'm hoping that this will not follow the actual story-line and due to this; there is a fat chance that the characters you know can become OOC sometimes. All in good spirit though!**

 **Enjoy x**

 _I am running...I am a bird. My heart is free just like the golden locks on my head. I am wearing dark tight clothes and for once I am not afraid of showing skin. This is who I am. This is who I am going to be._

I wake up sticky and sweaty, my silent room filling with my intense inhales and exhales. The sun is barely awake, its tiny raw hands caressing the dull grey walls of my bedroom. This is a typical Saturday in Abnegation, the selfless faction. Although this is my faction of origin, there has never been a day where I haven't woken up to that ringing in my ears. The ringing that screeches for me to notice, to know and to understand that my faction of origin isn't where I am supposed to be. I will never be selfless or quiet. Growing up in Abnegation, we were taught that laughing and having fun isn't helpful for anyone, and is rather selfish. Therefore we must succumb to it and forget ourselves.

I run my hands through my golden waves of hair; finally suppressing the need to cry because I know I don't belong here. Today is the day though. Today will change my whole life...hopefully.

I run downstairs, my brother Caleb, clearing his throat irritably at my insensible for an Abnegation behavior. ' _It'll be easy for him to choose his destiny'_ I think. _He is selfless by heart_. Slowly folding my hands in front of my bag of a dull grey dress, I force on a calm smile as I enter the minuscule kitchen, only to be warmly welcomed by my mother's stiff, selfless nod. _Showing too much love and compassion means that you have not fully forgotten yourself._ I sit down and look around. I have grown up running around and being scolded in this little room. 16 years of a wasted, silently forced childhood in a place where fun is illegal. My father mutters his usual "good morning" while my mother leans against the counter and breaks the silence.

"Children, I...we want you to know that we will love you no matter what choice you pick today. After all, it's your life and we will forever be a family, no matter what." Her voice is comforting, our eye contact never breaking apart. I sigh before continuing my usual, plain oatmeal breakfast.

* * *

I sit on the wooden stool in front of the only mirror in the house, listening to the scissor's song as it dances with my hair ends. My mother trims my hair before pulling it into a very tight bun. _I will miss these little moments._ When she finishes, she gracefully moves towards the forbidden mirror, unlocking its powers. I shift my eyes towards the girl now staring back at me. _I haven't changed since the last time I caught a glimpse at my own reflection._ I am still the same girl with dirty blonde hair, a chubby round face and large panic-stricken hazel eyes.

"Are you afraid?" I move my eyes towards the beautiful reflection of my mother's chocolate brown eyes. _I hope my eyes can answer for me._

She hums slightly before pulling on a small grin and repeating the exact same words she uttered right before letting me go to take my aptitude test. "Don't be love. Trust your heart. You know best."

She bends down and plants a kiss on the top of my head. "It's time." Father's loud voice rings through the dull, grey corridors before finally reaching us.

 _I am ready._

* * *

The walk to the Hub- where the Choosing Ceremony will commence- is very long; given the fact that the Abnegation sector is far from the town square and the bus was full-so we walk. We pass the Erudite compound and I try to ignore the nasty side glances the people throw us.

When we finally walk into the Hub, I glance at every faction, imagining myself in them. _Abnegation-_ I will always be that quiet grey girl desperate to break out. _Amity-_ The peace serum in the bread? No thanks. _Candor-_ Sometimes it's good to withhold some things as unspoken. _Erudite-_ Although there is no growing tension between my faction and Erudite, we were brought up to secretly dislike them. Especially with my father constantly being a target of their assumptions and comments thrown towards him and the rest of the government officials. _Dauntless-_ I let my stare linger a little longer as it reached the noisy bundle of commotion. My stomach drops and I break into a grin.

"Andrew. Pleasure to see you again." Jeanine's cool voice moves me back into reality and I turn to stare at her standing in front of my parents, wearing a smile that somehow doesn't reach her eyes. Her hair is cut short and it hovers over her shoulders like a dropping, golden halo. She wears a fitted suit consisting of a skirt and a shirt with a small, blue tie slurring over the white color. Her icy blue eyes flicker towards me for a moment, her grin widening the slightest- making her look like a deluded psychopath behind bars. I bow my head politely and toy with the fabric of my dress, tuning out their conversation filled with innuendos regarding their secret dislike for each other.

"…Beatrice?" I look back at her and clear my throat when I realize that she's asked me something.

"I beg your pardon, but I wasn't listening." I formally reply in a timid voice to which her posture seems to straighten the slightest.

"I asked if you're afraid. About your choice today. I'm sure your parents will perfectly understand if you choose to… _defect_." My father tenses beside her but keeps his cool, just like any good Abnegation would. And Jeanine's smug smirk knows that too.

"Yes of coarse…uh…-" I trail off nervously, but luckily she interrupts me.

"Just be yourself. We wouldn't want people to enter factions they don't…belong in." She smiles tightly before touching my shoulder- sending a cold electric shock through my body. "Oh well, if you could go to your seats. Again, my apologies for holding you back." She waves a hand towards the Abnegation seats and my father smiles firmly.

"It was nice to talk to you, Jeanine."

"Likewise," she responds as coolly as he does before clicking away in her high heels that match her deep blue skirt.

She glides towards the stage and we huddle a little bit faster to our allocated seats. I take a deep breath and stare at my shaking hands.

It has begun.

"I would like to wish every single one of you dependents who are about to face the biggest choice of your lives. Choose wisely, there is no going back. As soon as your blood falls into your allocated bowl, you are no longer children, but full-fledged citizens of Chicago." _Cheers._ She smiles before getting off the polished white platform, her empty space taken by Marcus Eaton, head of the council and leader of Abnegation. He clears his throat. "When I call out your names you will come here and you will make your choice. I wish you good luck..." I muffle out whatever he continues on to saying until I hear my brother's name.

"Caleb Prior." Father squeezes his shoulder only to earn a forced smile from his son. He slowly moves towards the platform, taking the silver knife in his hand. The air is thick with tension- and that only increases when the dreadful word reaches everyone's ears.

"ERUDITE!" I gawk. My father's face twists into the most hurt expression that has ever painted his face. Caleb gradually shifts towards the Erudite part of the audience, not bothering to look in our direction.

"Beatrice Prior." I swallow thickly as I stand.

It feels like eons have passed until I finally reach the five bowls. Without thinking, I reach for the knife, letting the sharp blade pierce my skin and let my hand hover over the bowl filled with coal.

 _Sizzle._ A feeling of relieve surges through me as I break into a chagrin chuckle.

"DAUNTLESS!"


	2. Jump

**Thank you for your support!**

 **Enjoy x**

Heat, fear and apprehension rush through my circulatory system. But with that, they carry happiness. I feel ecstatic. Without feeling any regret, I slowly find myself scuttling towards the Dauntless section of the audience. Their shrieks of pride pulling me back to reality.

 _How selfless of myself. How ironic._ A rough looking boy, probably the same age as me, quickly jumps out of his seat, only to usher me into replacing his seating posture there. I slowly lower myself down, allowing the strong clasps and claps of pride to stroke my shoulders. The rest of the Choosing Ceremony goes by like a blur. Every single time a dependent chose to part from their faction of origin, they would earn a big round of applause from their new family and another round of glaring daggers coming from their old faction. Their past. When it all ended, we all seeped out of the auditorium, people around me covered by black fabric, making me stand out in my bag of a grey dress, not allowing my skin to peak through.

Just before I left the room, just before I left my past behind me, I twist my head to take a last glimpse at my parents. My father, of coarse, has a disgusted glare painted onto his withering of age face. On the other hand, my mother's face is brightly lit, her eyes congratulating me, her smile sending me a kiss. I grin before turning around to face my future.

As soon as we leave the glistening, modernized, white Hub, we break into a rapid jog. I follow, partly behind the big bundle of excited now-new citizens of Chicago. My heart swells with joy and I smirk inwardly as I look ahead of me, not bothering to slow down due to my Abnegation upbringing. _This is the new me._ Soon after, we reach the limbs of the bridge holding the Chicago train's path. The Dauntless begin climbing the crimson, rust bitten steps, laughing and joking around in front of me.

Carefully, I pull my long wave of grey fabric above my feet and cling onto the ladder, taking over each step one by one. When I reach the top, I feel someone shoving me harshly, but not harshly enough to push me to the ground, now stretched several meters under us. I look up only to meet the eyes of a Candor boy. Although he is handsome, his eyes hold hidden intentions. They are filled with evil. He breaks our intense eye contact when he sniffs and chuckles out loud.

"Watch it Stiff." I roll my eyes. _I am not Abnegation anymore._

I am definitely going to have some trouble getting rid of the stupid nickname. Just as he is about to say something back, the loud warning of the coming train interrupted him. He lets his malevolent eyes linger over my whole body, instantly raising my insecurity, before turning his back towards me and breaking into a sprint.

I huff loudly, following him. _I've seen them do this a thousand times. It can't be that hard._ By the time the nose of the train has passed me, almost half of the Dauntless gang are in the train, helping out the newbies, me in particular. Just before the end of the metal floor outstretched under me ended; a light brown hand stretches out of the open train compartment entrance. Gratefully, I rapidly respond by embracing her tight grip, letting her pull me inside. Upon my arrival, I meet another Candor defecting dependent. She has a beautiful light brown complexion, small freckles and a huge smile on her face. I quickly take in her curvy body, a small spark of jealousy waking up within me. She stretches her slender palm out again.

"I'm Christina, from Candor...haha duh! But you can call me Chris for short. Hey, I can see us being great friends; it'll be cool to know someone other than Al over there." She nods to the extremely tall boy with a nervous expression running down his face.

"Beatrice. But you can call me Tris." I shake her hand eagerly, and we proceed to drown into a long conversation about our old factions and how excited we are to be here at Dauntless.

Some forty minutes later, the compartment doors automatically reopen, revealing a view of roofs, fading one after the other.

"Get ready," shouts someone from the front, startling both me and Christina. We exchange worried looks, both questioning the same thing.

 _Get ready for what?_

Slowly, we both stand up, casually stretching as we wait for our bones to align back into place after the long rest on the clattering train. Carefully peeking out, to our horror, we see the Dauntless-born beginning to jump out and land on the outstretched roof, landing on a carpet of pebbles.

"Scared Stiff? Hah, thought so," remarks the Candor boy from before; just before following the actions of the Dauntless-born, leaving me and Christina alone in the train.

"Together?" Christina yells over the engine, her voice quivering but I doubt she is going to back down.

 _Neither am I._

Clasping my small hand into her slightly bigger one, we jump; both of us 'yelping' as we land on a sea of pebbles. I turn to look at her, a small laugh escaping my chapped mouth. She bursts into giggles, taking her time to regain her gorgeous neutral expression. As we both stand up, patting away the marks of rocks that held onto our clothes from before, I feel her reassuring grasp onto my shoulder, which so hopelessly reminds me of my mother's one. I turn to gaze into her black eyes, the obsidian orbs hiding nothing but excitment and realness.

"Ignore Peter, that's what I do. He's a dick." I was about to answer her with a question before shutting my mouth, completely understanding who she was talking about. _The Candor boy I rolled my eyes at._ Something tells me that he isn't happy that I'm here. _A Stiff in his initiation class._ Before I could shrug out the thoughts rolling in my head, I hear a gruff voice calling from the center of the roof.

"Guys, gather round here, we don't have all day." Immediately, we break into a slow jog towards the source of the voice. Pushing through the group of Dauntless-borns already well-aware of who is talking, I stop and look up at the young man- maybe a few years older than us- frowning down at us. He is tanned and buff, really buff. His light brown hair is longer than the typical Dauntless men walking around the streets and a shaven face makes him appear younger than he probably is. His eyes scan over us, sometimes nodding at the people he already knows, sometimes lingering onto the newbies, me included. Confidently, he jumps off the ledge on which he was standing on, taking a step forward towards us.

"My name's Four; I am one of your instructors overseeing your Initiation. You will meet the other ones later. When I'm not training you, I work in the Control Room. " He shifts to the side, carefully eyeing us. "If you wanna enter Dauntless, this is the way in." He stretches his muscly arm to indicate the roof ledge. Towards oblivion. Gentle mutters of shock wash over our group of mainly surprised transfers, earning sympathetic chuckles from the Dauntless-born initiates. Clearly irritated, Four cracks his knuckles before narrowing his eyes. "Well someone's gotta go first. Who's it gonna be?" _Silence._ I look around, hoping to see one of the Dauntless-born, rough looking people to just go for it. Unfortunately, no one moves towards the roof. Exhaling loudly, hoping to swallow the bile now rising up my throat, I stepped forward.

"Me."

I hear Peter and his lackeys laughing behind me, however I earn a nod of approval and a quick smile from Four. Looking over the ledge, my heart stops as a large gaping black hole stares back at me. _I am literally jumping into oblivion._ Pulling my dress over my knees and listening to another stupid remark coming from Peter, I step on the ledge, shutting my eyes and jumping.

Several seconds pass until my body collides with the tight arms of a net. There is a dim light coming from somewhere, but the change of contrasts prevents me from seeing who is walking towards the net. Only a silhouette.

I hear a dark chuckle. "Did you get pushed?"


	3. Steel Eyes

The dim change of lighting finally alters to my liking as I can begin visualizing the silhouette of the man now clutching onto the supportive net. I squint my eyes, locking them onto his face; and taking in his striking features. He is...intriguing.

He seems to be about the same age as Four, but he has black ink stretching and twisting into beautiful tribal block designs on either sides of his throat. He too, has a clean-shaven face and his hair is buzzed at the sides and longer at the top and slicked back. There are two micro dermal piercings glinting just above his right eyebrow. Although his chuckle sounded harmless; his eyes are the contrast to anything happy.

They are grey orbs of steel metal. His stare makes me feel heavy inside.

A few seconds after he just stands there next to the net, waiting for me to regain full consciousness of my new surroundings; he rolls his eyes, grabbing me roughly out of the net's outstretched arms.

Yet he does it with such gracefulness. It is as if I weigh nothing. As he puts me on the cement floor, I realize that he is two times taller than me; I just about reached the height of his large, toned chest; his muscles and abs clearly visible through the thin, fitted charcoal vest. He looks down at me, scowling- his face irritated about something. _Am I supposed to say something?_

Oh right, he asked me something.

"Um, nope" I stutter, popping the 'p' nervously; praying that he doesn't sense the nervousness slurring within me. For a split millisecond, I catch his lips twitching upwards before altering back into his probably signature scowl.

"What's your name, Stiff," he spits out, emphasizing the derogatory term used for Abnegation. Anger rapidly replaces the sense of anxiety flowing through me. _I'm Dauntless now...I finally feel like I belong somewhere and I will not let anyone snatch that pleasure away from me._ I growl. He seems taken aback but doesn't back down.

"My name is Tris and I am NOT a Stiff. Look around, do you see me helping the Factionless or holding my tongue?" I gnarl, waving my hands out. At this point I realize that the few people standing behind him begin bowing their heads, their faces holding grim expressions. I exhale loudly through my nose, daring myself to look up. His enraged expression makes me shrink, wishing that I was back in Abnegation, and actually being a Stiff.

He carefully steps closer to me, leaning in, his perfectly shaped jaw clenching and his eyes holding unimaginable fury and power within them. As he closes the small space between us, my nose gets assaulted by his strong cologne and I swallow thickly.

"Allow me to personally introduce myself, _Stiff._ I'm Eric. Oh yeah, I'm also one of the Dauntless leaders, you know, the faction you're so desperately trying to enter by the looks of your excitement. You talk back to me like that one more time and I will personally accompany you to the Factionless sector. Welcome to Dauntless," he snarls back. I gulp, feeling my cheeks redden into a deep crimson shade as I bow my head.

Eric stares at me, obviously amused. I nod, casually beginning to edge away from him towards the group of people waving at me to seriously join them before Eric reacts again.

But he grabs my wrist, pulling me back to my spot in front of him, earning a few gasps from our audience. His lips are parted and he is wearing a slightly less threatening scowl. At this point nothing is malicious about his features, not even his stormy grey orbs.

My stomach drops and I narrow my eyes, quickly concealing my vulnerable state under his gaze. He smirks, letting go of my wrist quickly and regaining his fearless posture before walking towards the net in which Christina is now hysterically laughing in.

Feeling a soft squeeze on my right shoulder, I turn to stare at a Dauntless girl who later introduces herself as Lauren. She ushers me out of the dim room, babbling on about how we need to wait until all of the initiates jump in so we can start with the official introduction of the faction's headquarters.

Right before we exit the room, I twist around, wanting to feel hypnotized once more under his malicious glare. As I move to look over my shoulder; my heart stops when I realize that he is already staring.

 **Chapter 3 done, I'm sorry that it's shorter, it's just tbh I have a general plan concerning the story's unfolding of events, and as I stated Eris is one of the main things that I will be focusing on. However I just wanna warn that they're not going to get together right away, (they might/will eventually shhh shhh) but I want them to get to know each other a bit more first, and obviously they're going to tease each other more often.**

 **Anyway, I hope you're still enjoying yourself.**


	4. The Talk

**Haha another chapter's out, I have basically nothing else to do lol. Enjoy x**

Twenty minutes later and I am surrounded by ecstatic initiates. Lauren took the Dauntless-born initiates since we are going on a tour around the headquarters and they already know pretty much everything. I look around, taking in the cave like structure of the hall in which we were situated.

Someone clears their throat loudly, gaining everyone's full attention. I turn too, seeing that it was Eric, sitting with his arms crossed, eyeing us carefully. Our eyes meet for a split second before I look away, the memory of our introduction haunting me and filling me with both rage and mortification.

"Welcome to Dauntless," he bellows, standing up, making us all feel uneasy.

"Some of you already know who I am," his eyes flicker towards me again, "For those who don't, I'm someone you don't want to fuck with." He cackles maliciously, cracking his knuckles, shifting back towards the rock he sat on before. Behind him, Four rolls his eyes impatiently before stepping in front of him.

He holds a sense of pity in his eyes.

"That's Eric for those unaware," he glances at Eric who is still snickering at his own comment and our expressions.

Turning back to us, he sighs. "Before taking you on your tour and showing you your dormitory, we have to tell you how the Initiation process works." With that Eric jerks up, straightening his back and brushing past Four.

"There are two stages of training. The first is physical: push your bodies to the breaking point and master the methods of combat. The second is mental: again, breaking point, face your worst fears and conquer them, unless they get you first. You'll be trained separately from the Dauntless-born but you'll be ranked together. After initiation, the rankings will determine what job you move into; Leadership, guarding the Fence, or keeping the Factionless from killing each other." His eyes land on me again. I look down, shuffling my legs.

Before he could continue, Four cuts in. "The rankings will also determine who gets cut."

 _Silence._

Christina, still being Candor and curious by heart, speaks up, voicing all of our concerns into one single word. "Cut?"

Four and Eric exchange knowing looks- probably because they get the same question every year- before the latter bows his head, allowing Four to proceed with his speech.

"At the end of each stage of training, the lowest ranking initiates will be leaving us."

"To do what?" It is the boy from before, Al, who speaks. Eric rolls his eyes irritably while Four clears his throat; crossing his arms in front of him. Both of them seemed perplexed and tired.

"There's no going home to your families so you'll be living Factionless."

"Why didn't we know that?" This time, it's I- who opens her mouth. All eyes fall on me. Four shakes his head before opening his mouth to answer, however Eric is faster than him.

By the time Four has finished shaking his head and forming an answer; Eric has moved in front of me; ready to crush me. His features are cold and his tone gives away how very pissed he is at my question.

"It's a new rule," he spits out. I feel humiliation drag me down, but I gulp loudly before throwing one of my hard stares back at him.

"You can't just…change your mind with something like that. You could have at least told us." I point out, feeling a growl come out of me. Eric leans in closer, leaving a few inches between us.

"Why?" he snorts. "Would you have chosen differently? What, out of fear?" he mockingly pouts his bottom lip before hurling me the most dangerous look I have ever seen on someone.

But I don't back down. We continue glowering at each other for what feels like hours until Four puts his strong grip onto Eric's shoulder. Cringing, Eric shrugs it off before leaning back away from me. "Watch it Stiff. I've got my eye on you." he warns threateningly, his voice too serene. Defeated for the second time today, I nod.

"Come now guys; take a look at your new faction..." Four begins walking away towards the Pit. Everyone follows. I stand there, unable to move. I feel exhausted after my mental fight with Eric.

 _It's still the first day here and I'm already on one of the leader's bad side._

"What are you still doing here?" Eric's deep voice breaks my stream of consciousness. Too drained to continue fighting, I just stare at him, not menacingly, but tiredly. This seems to soften up his scowling features and his smirk turns into a frown as he puts his hand on my shoulder.

"Dauntless is not Abnegation. Here we do not hold your hand. Here you fight for what you believe in and for what you want. You'll be seeing a fuck load of me these days, since I was sadly signed up for overseeing the initiation this year. I really don't wanna argue with you about every single stupid thing that triggers your sensitive ass."

I am taken aback. I suppress the need to roll my eyes at him, or the urge of saying something back to him. I just look down at his military boots and nod.

"Run along." Without waiting for another word to break the silence, I turn and jog away from him. I can't lie though, his words opened up an unknown wound somewhere close to my heart. _Truth hurts._ As I continue to pace away I could feel his cold gaze burning holes through my back.

I find my group of initiates along with Four near the Chasm, a hole, the literal way to the Purgatory red heaven down below us. He mentally marks that my presence is finally around him before continuing through what seems like an endless tour of either empty caves or crowded halls that embark within the headquarters of Dauntless.

Some ten minutes later, he leads us through a corridor; which has a flickering tiny light as the only source of comfort. We finally reach the end of the corridor to find ourselves inside a large cavern-like ice cold room, with about twelve cots all aligned in rows. Right next to it stands the dim, yellow- shaded bathroom that really reminds me of the public, dirty toilets found in the parks and public places of Chicago, accustomed to the Factionless. Leading us back to the dormitory; Four stretches his arms and looks around.

"This is where you will be sleeping for the next ten weeks. And yes, both boys AND girls." he glances at Al, who is sweating like crazy.

"Alright, get changed into your new clothes and meet me in five down in the Pit" he nods, carefully studying our faces before continuing. "Where you will burn away your past and meet your new faction." He nods again, exiting the room, leaving us speechless and homesick.


	5. The Cafeteria

**Hey guys! So these couple of days I have been coming home from school to immediately sit and check up on how the story is going. And yesterday plus today I even saw that I had reviews, which made my heart warm so much! I'm SO glad that you're enjoying this, because I'm trying so hard to make this story as perfect as humanely possible. Also, since the weekend is ahead of me and I practically have no life outside this website haha, I'm gonna be working on the story even more.**

 **Much love x**

Five minutes go by like the blink of an eye.

Holding onto my ash-colored Abnegation dress tightly; I gaze at the burning flames dancing in the large grill-like bowl before my eyes.

 _When Four said that we will burn our past, he literally meant it._

Taking my time, I step closer to the scorching hot blaze of fiery orange and white colors, breathing in the fumes. Stretching my arms out, I loosen the grip on my former life, watching it slowly crumble away. My eyes start to water.

Maybe because of the smoke, or _maybe_ because in this very moment I begin remembering all of the fun I actually had back in Abnegation. _Like the times when the whole village was peacefully sleeping and I was climbing up onto our flat grey roof only to gaze at the bleak blanket of outstretched stars smiling above me._

Pulled back into reality, I sniff and move forward, walking towards Christina. She too, had that glittering spark in her eyes as she too, witnessed the death of her prior life.

Linking our arms together, we confidently walk into the grand cafeteria filled with nearly all of the Dauntless Faction population, all celebrating that the commencement of the new initiation period. As we walk in, we acquire a few strange looks and people pointing at us, but we just brush it off and continue our search for free seats at a table.

Finally, after what felt like hours of walking into full tables and meeting "no seats available" stares; Christina excitedly points at the far end of the whole cafeteria. The free table with only one person sitting there, their back facing us. Glancing at each other, beaming, we begin skipping and tripping over the people sprawled and already intoxicated around us. Upon arrival, I stop short in my tracks, feeling sweat beads beginning to form and my breath hitching in my throat.

Of coarse, it is Eric sitting all by himself, eating a salad.

Glancing at Christina, who is throwing me a questioning look, I force a casual smile and continue walking up towards his table.

"Hey can we sit here? Sure we can why am I asking silly me hahaha, no one else is here, except for you of coarse ahahah." The former Candor nervously grins whilst dropping down on the bench opposite Eric's; pulling me down with her. Regaining my posture, I sit up and glance at the person sitting opposite me, who is still wearing a pissed off mask on his face.

He looks up, catching my curious stare before rolling his eyes and continuing his rummage through his salad, not saying a single word. Dying to try and move back to his good side (if he even has one) I blurt out:

"How comes you're sitting all by yourself?" He stops eating and shifts his grey eyes on me, his face curved into a puzzled look.

"I don't have friends," he answers simply, not breaking eye contact, hesitantly studying my reaction. I feel my eyes widen before feeling my lips twitch downwards.

"Why?"

He scowls.

"Aren't you a little bit too curious for a Stiff? I would have expected Candor to be the one with the big mouth and the thousands of retarded questions? Christina sends daggers in his direction, which doesn't seem to affect him a single bit.

"I guess I'm just curious by heart too," I counter, feeling like I've stepped into dangerous and unknown waters.

Eric sighs. "Being a Leader of an extremely restless and busy Faction doesn't just give me free time for tea parties and 'how's the weather' type of conversations. And during my initiation training, I never really understood the logic behind the idea of befriending someone who might have to beat the shit out of me or vice versa sooner or later..."

He stops and clenches his jaw. _Is he afraid of opening up?_ I clasp my mouth shut- knowing that any questions after my last one will only make this awkward conversation worse- so I nod and look down at my still-empty plate. Casting a sideways frown at Christina, I see her pick her fork up to pierce a round, brown piece of meat from the tray in the middle of the table.

Mimicking her, I take a slice too, tentatively bringing it up to my nose to take a whiff. Eric smirks. Christina laughs.

"Haven't you ever seen a burger before?" Her question is innocent and full of curiosity. She isn't aware of the simple Abnegation lifestyle. I slowly shake my head, slightly jumping at the force of another two individuals slumping down on our table.

"Abnegation lead a very simple lifestyle, they also eat foods with a minimum amount of spices to follow the habit of simplicity," pipes in the boy sitting next to Eric.

 _The Erudite transfer._ He has dark brown, nearly black hair and his eyes are an affectionate shade of blue. He has dimples and wears a smile of praising on his face as if he is internally congratulating himself that he remembers something about the Selfless Faction.

I hear Eric make a noise of utter displeasure, so quietly I could barely pick it out. "You've got to be kidding me. Why am I alive?" He mutters to himself.

"I'm Will, by the way," the boy continues; and although he began the conversation talking about Abnegation and my strange way of examining the burger, he seems to only acknowledge Christina, who is now blushing.

Eric looks like he is about to be sick by the obvious flirty exchanges between Chris and Will. Without a warning, he stands up quickly and begins walking off- many people around us quieting down as he paces away.

He nods in my direction before strutting out of the cafeteria.

 _I can swear that he just smiled as he was nodding at me._

He is more hormonal than an emotional PMSing teenage girl. Chuckling at my own thoughts of Eric being a PMSing teenage girl, I introduce myself to Will and enter their small talk, only to remember that Al is sitting next to Christina too.

All of a sudden, people start cheering too loudly, some are pounding on the table and others are clapping like crazy. Perplexed, my friends and I follow the gazes of the crowd only to reach a tall, muscly, dark-skinned man gripping the rails on the cafeteria floor levelled above ours. Strangely enough, he has the exact same neck tattoos I so admire on Eric's skin.

 _Leadership tattoos of coarse. This must be the infamous Max._

Since my father is part of the council, him and Marcus, our "main" leader would often meet up with the other Faction leader's to try and improve the way of living in Chicago; Max including. Father would often come back home enraged at the "pathetic and selfishly reckless" ideas the Dauntless Leader Max would impose. Little did he know I would be part of this "mad man's" faction, and actually be proud.

Behind Max, stood Eric, his hard stare fixed on me. It is so cold it makes me flinch, to which he responds with the ends of his lips curling up cruelly. _Training with him around is gonna be reallllly fun._

"Initiates! Rise!" bellows Max, beaming. We stand, chins high up and grins wide.

"You have chosen the warrior faction. Cast with the defense of this city and all its inhabitants. We believe in ordinary acts of bravery, in the courage that drives one person to stand up for another. Respect that. Do us proud." With that, he lets go of the railing.

Intense and deafening cheers erupt through the cafeteria, the sound refracting off the stone walls and around the hall. The next thing I know is that I can't feel the hard cement under me. I look around, whooping and laughing out loud. The initiates, including myself, are being picked up by the rest of the Faction members and passed around like salt on a table. If I was still Abnegation, the feeling of hands grabbing me in inappropriate places, including my back would make me run away and hide somewhere.

 _But not this. This is who I am now. This is who I will be._ I shut my eyes and try to relish the feeling of freedom. Because there is a very long way to go until I could taste it again.

The celebration is later taken to the Pit, but it was nearing to our initiate curfew, so we decide to head back into the dormitories. Quickly changing into a simple, jet-black tank top and a pair of maroon-red shorts, I tie my hair into a messy bun as I walk over to the bathroom to go brush my teeth.

Upon entering I realize that Peter is leaning onto the sink counter-top, wearing a stupid smug expression, eyes travelling up and down my body. I clench my teeth as I stop at the sink the furthest away from where he is standing. But he just cackles maliciously before moving towards me quickly and shoving me against the wall. I shut my eyes to stop the tears from streaming down my face. He is so close to me I can hear every time he takes in a quick breath.

"Don't think that you'll be part of this faction. Stiffs like you deserve to be locked up in a cage and starved to death." I flinch, my stomach turning as I imagine Peter's content face visualizing me starving to death.

"I'm going to ruin you." he grumbles, slowly releasing my now purple wrists. Stepping back, he checks me out one last time, snickering malevolently before leaving me all alone in the corner of the bathroom.

After finishing my business, I run back to my cot, which is safely situated right next to Christina's in the far end of the whole dormitory. It's safe to say that I am a good distance away from Peter and his lackeys, Molly and Drew, but being in the same sleeping area with them still made me feel queasy just thinking about it.

A familiar muscly figure appears at the top of the stairs next to the entrance of the dormitory. The leader begins counting each cot and checking whether it is inhabited. After he was done, he turns and nods at someone standing behind him. After that, he jerks back to face our direction.

"Lights out!"

The last thing I remember visually seeing are a set of dull, tired grey eyes fixed on me. And then the world goes black. Stifling a yawn, I turn to my side, listening to Al's nauseous whimpers lulling me to sleep.

 _Tomorrow is the beginning of training. I WILL do this and I WILL prove to Peter and ANYONE who doubts me that I WILL pass and become a full-fledged Dauntless member._

And with that...I drift into the dreamless night.


	6. Blueberry Crumbs

**Hiii! So this chapter came out not as I expected, but that's alright because I'm still happy with the way it turned out. I hope you like it too. Tomorrow I don't have much to do so I'm hoping that I'll either post one very long chapter or more than one, still long-ish chapter. I'll figure it out! In the meantime, I hope you enjoy this! Much love x**

The first night is a restless nightmare full of turning and twisting. Although feeling extremely fatigued; I cannot fall asleep. Nausea, home-sickness and the cries of the other transfers engulf me. To an extent, I relate to them. We are all new here, we have just been hit with the news that there is a chance we might get cut and on top of that; the penalty is to become Factionless for the rest of our miserable lives. But their cries make this whole idea extremely ironic to me.

 _It's ironic how we have all chosen the faction of the fearless, yet we are afraid of getting cut._

After a good couple of hours of rolling around, I finally drift into a dazed nap, only to be woken up by a thundering clash. Startled to death, I jerk up and out of my nap, only to see Eric gleefully banging a pan on the edge of my cot.

"Rise and shine sleepyheads, hope you have a wonderful day today...just kidding you have five minutes to change into your training attire. If you want to have time for breakfast, I suggest you stand up now. HURRY UP!" He roars.

Doing just as I am told, I jolt out of my thin blankets, shivering at the contact of the ice-cold floor and my bare feet. Plucking my hair out of the messy ponytail situation on my head, I dash into the toilet, grabbing some black tights and another black tank top with a burgundy tint to change into.

Five minutes later, I am stuffing myself with a blueberry cupcake and orange juice. _Who knows when my next real meal is?_ I know that Christina won't have enough time to get some breakfast into her system- given the fact that just as I was leaving the dorm-room she was getting out of bed- so I take one more cupcake and wrap it in a napkin before shoving it in one of my heavy jacket pockets.

Walking towards the exit of the nearly-empty cafeteria; I see Peter, Molly and Drew entering; all scowling at me. I shoot a murderous look their way, but obviously fail badly as they begin laughing and pointing at me.

 _Whatever I'm going to be the one laughing when I score more than them. Hopefully._

One thing that the selfless faction has taught me is to always look at one's body language. It can tell a lot about the individual and if they are in need of help. Judging by Peter's slow and show-offy attitude, he really isn't going to succeed with that pace. And Drew and Molly? They will _definitely_ not reach anything when they depend so much on Peter, out of all people.

By the time my judgy trail of thought concludes its course, I find myself entering the huge training room with wood floors that are cracked and creaky. Looking around, I scrunch my nose as the odor of sweat, blood and other bodily fluids hit me.

In the center of the room there is an arena. On the left wall, there is a green chalkboard- probably used to write the fight pairings for each match. Faded black and red punching bags hang at three foot intervals along one end of the room. On the other side of the spacious room, there is a table filled with knives and a large target. I can only assume that during the time of our physical training we will be taught the arts of knife throwing too.

"Woah the Stiff first in the training room? I'm surprised you even had the strength to wake up this early, it's barely even six am," expresses Eric's raspy voice as he strolls nonchalantly past me, his cologne making me forget all the other stenches engulfing us. Immediately, my body involuntarily relaxes before my brain digests his words.

I narrow my eyes. "In Abnegation, sleeping in after the sun has risen is considered selfish. Why should you be able to sleep in when the Factionless are outside hungry and cold?" I mutter monotonously.

Eric turns to look at me, his grey eyes screaming for sleep. He harshly shrugs before continuing his walk towards the section of the training room entirely dedicated to punching bags.

Not knowing what else I should do, I just follow him, trying to keep up with his hasty pace. Realizing that I am struggling to keep up with my short legs, he looks down at me and gives me a chagrined chuckle, slowing down. Trying to think of something to break the awkward silence with; I think of the easiest thing I could ask him without getting into any trouble.

"What are we going to do today?" I push myself to sound more excited.

"We are going to teach you the arts of self-defence and attacking your opponents by using the punching bags. Then you will be paired up with someone and you will practice your reflexes. It's easy stuff today, wait till the real fighting begins," he replies, a bit too enthusiastically when he talks about the real fighting.

Before I can question him about what he means under "real fighting", I feel his calloused hand on my face. Looking up, I meet his hard but surprisingly amused stare as he presses his thumb on my cheek. Utterly confused, I throw him a questioning look before he lets go of my face, placing his thumb in his mouth. I gape at him, speechless.

"Blueberry...my favorite," he growls seductively before his eyes travel over my body at a painfully slow pace. He continues his journey to the punching bags. Realization creeps up on me just as I feel my cheeks turn crimson red- maybe even purple.

"Come on Stiff, don't be turning into a statue, come wait with me," he mutters in a teasing tone, leaning against one of the stone pillars which is holding up the whole room. He raises a brow, his piercings glinting in the bright lighting. Somehow, it also makes his uniform look darker and crisper; which further plays a bigger role in making the aura around him more intimidating.

Struggling to breathe in and out, I accept his invitation as I walk stupidly towards him.

"This is gonna be really fun," he says. I look up, wondering whether he is addressing me or himself.

 _What's gonna be fun?_

I open my mouth to ask him but decide against that just as my fellow initiates begin to trickle into the room, their faces twisting just as mine did the first time the smells hit me. Soon after, everyone is here except for Christina.

"Tris?" I hear her high-pitched melodic voice trying to find me. I look around before I can finally see her in the back. Gazing back at Eric, he nods, as if reading my mind. Straightening my back, I push through the initiates, jumping over Peter's attempt to trip me. I finally reach Christina and she hugs me tightly, catching me by surprise.

 _Physical contact is frowned upon in Abnegation. But this is Dauntless; hugging someone means nothing._ She pulls away.

"I can't believe I nearly missed the introduction. Ugh, I was so slow I didn't even have time to have breakfast."

"Don't worry about it," I smile, feeling inside my pocket before handing her the blueberry muffin. She looks down at it as she begins jumping up and down excitedly, before washing me up with millions of 'thank yous," like a child. I grin in response, looking back at Eric, who is shaking his head and smirking knowingly. _I guess it's going to be hard to bite down the old habits._

Four's hoarse voice forces me to shift my eyes away from Eric's tired but somewhat extremely handsome face. _Focus on training Tris._

"Today we are going to teach you self-defence and attacking your opponents with this," Four announces before hitting the red punching bag lightly, but still making it sway slightly.

"I'm going to begin by showing you the basics; how you have to shift your body and how to throw the first punch. Watch closely because I don't like repeating myself," he states before turning away from us to face the punching bag.


	7. Vulnerability

**Here's the long chapter as promised! Enjoy x**

Five hours later and I still can't manage to force my punching bag to move. My knuckles are split and bloated. Every punch makes me wince in pain, but I won't back down. _Not if I wanna become a real Dauntless._ Both Four and Eric are pacing steadily behind us, observing our every move. Peter is situated two punching bags away from me. He is strong and he is able to make the bag swing. And every single time I jab my bag, he cackles evilly.

"Aw Stiff, you not strong enough? Surprise surprise...-" This time however, he can't not finish his sentence; because seconds later he is choking for air as Eric nonchalantly puts his tattooed arm around Peter's throat.

"Please...please...let...me go..." Peter struggles. For once, I felt no sympathy to get in between a fight. Eric rolls his eyes before shoving him very forcefully towards the floor. Peter lands on his side, his ego shrinking immediately as he shuts his eyes to prevent tears from falling out.

The ruthless leader grabs a fistful of his shirt, dragging him up. "Only cowards not make fun of fellow initiates who are trying their best. Next time you feel like trying to boost your self-confidence by making others feel like shit; picture yourself begging for mercy as I drag you over the railings and into the Chasm. We do _not_ train cowards. Keep punching!" Eric barks to the rest of us, who are now circling around this whole situation.

Shifting back to my station, I resume my weak punching. It's only minutes after when I feel Eric standing right behind me. I peak over my shoulder; his strong arms crossed over his broad chest.

He bites his lip as he studies my moves carefully. I turn back, feeling my breath hitch in my throat. _What is wrong with me?_

Moments later, I feel his hands wrap around my waist. I jump at the physical contact. However he doesn't move away. His grip tightens gently as he uses his knee to spread my legs apart; changing my posture completely. He then moves my shoulder to the left and I can now partially face his towering physique. Looking up, I see no hard characteristics on his face. There is a spark of curiosity dancing in his eyes.

"Stand a little to the side, you are smaller and quicker than the others, so if a fist is coming from either side, you can dodge em' rapidly before planting your own fist in their stomach or by twisting their arms, possibly even dislocating it if enough force is added," he murmurs, stepping away slightly, leaving me with very little personal space. Nervousness slurs within me; the pressure of having Eric watch my every move along with my weak ability to punch is ebbing at my consciousness.

"Now, punch the bag again. This time the force and all your anger should be coming from your shoulder movements. Use your fist as the messenger trying to prove your shoulder's message. That's how I've always done that," he chuckles haughtily before clearing his throat and nodding for me to proceed.

I turn rapidly and follow exactly what he says. This time, my punching bag responds by slightly swaying. I turn around, grinning mischievously. He smirks, before ruffling my hair and continuing on to Christina's station. But he doesn't intrude in her personal space like he did with me. And he doesn't put his hands on her waist. He just stands a few feet away from her; his trademark pissed-off glare masking his handsome features when he laughs. Which is unfortunately very rare; and I am extremely surprised that he can even crack a smile around me, not to mention his strange behavior when he messed up my hair. I shrug the thoughts off as I continue lashing out at the punching bag, making it sway more and more as the time passes.

Not long after I feel someone else stand stationary behind me. This time it's Four. He too, is standing quite close to me, but it just feels different. _If not wrong_. I continue punching and jabbing before I peak again to meet his confused and concerned stare. I shoot him a questioning look of my own.

"Your stance... it's not the way I taught you. Don't get me wrong, you're doing a great job but, I wonder how you adapted to the change so quickly. Anyway, if it's easier for you this way then continue on like that." He smiles tightly; touching my shoulder before walking off to the next station.

After what felt like hours had passed, Eric's deep voice echoed through the training room.

"Alright everyone stop. We're going to break up for dinner. I want you all back here in thirty minutes when we are going to show you your rankings. Go!" He roars.

Everybody begins shuffling out of the training room; I follow Christina. We decide to freshen up first before we make our way to the crowded cafeteria. I pick myself up a ham and cheese sandwich and a bottle of room temperature water. After spending a few minutes walking around mindlessly, trying to find another table to sit on, we give up and go to sit back at our 'shared' table with Eric; who is slumped down, holding a glass of orange juice whilst snacking on a few crackers. He clears his throat as we sit down; me opposite him again.

I accidentally manage to step on him, making him hiss irritably. "Sorry," I mutter, feeling the heat creep up my cheeks.

"So is this what we will be doing all day every single day? Punch bags until we make them move," cries out Christina. Eric rolls his eyes before clenching his jaw.

"You know, sometimes I wonder whether you're seriously asking me these questions or you're just trying to piss me off. Because if it's reason number two then it's working," he replies shooting her a stern glare.

"We're just trying to make a conversation with you to ease up the awkwardness in the air," I counter, not daring to look up at his infuriated face.

"What makes you think that I want to be sitting around here talking to two transfer initiates," he growls.

 _Somebody help me._

"I don't know, it's just...you sitting here all by yourself...you seem quite approachable- no offence though," I quickly add in; flinching at the fear in my voice. Christina chokes on her water beside me.

I look up slowly, meeting his animalistic and vicious scowl. He slowly leans over the table, not breaking eye contact. He bares his teeth before speaking, just like a lion would before hauling after his prey.

"Careful _Stiff,_ don't forget what I said to you the first time you opened your big mouth." He stands up; throwing away the remains of the few crackers he had left on his plate, making a whole noise of commotion.

Silence sweeps across the cafeteria. _Obviously everyone knows not to get on Eric's bad side, except me._ He turns around, shifting his eyes across the crowds, carefully avoiding mine.

"Get on with your lives!" He bellows, letting shivers crawl down mine and probably everyone else's bodies. He slams the doors shut. Christina turns to stare at me, gobsmacked.

"You my friend, have a serious death wish. And this is coming from a former Candor mind you," she puts her arms around me, hugging me tightly. I give in, hugging her back. _I am not Abnegation anymore._

Soon after we find our way back into the training room. Four was nowhere to be seen, but that didn't bother Eric as he continues meddling around with a tiny remote before moving to stand in front of a large board which was nowhere to be seen before.

He presses something on the remote. Immediately, the board comes to life and it begins automatically rolling out every initiate's name in white; with a number starting from one and going up. However at one point the white font turns into a red font, but the board continues typing out our names:

 **1\. Uriah**

 **2\. Lynn**

 **3\. Edward**

 **4\. Melody**

 **5\. Marlene**

 **6\. Peter**

 **7\. Will**

 **8\. Christina**

 **9\. Molly**

 _10\. Drew_

 _11\. Tris_

 _12\. Al_

 _13\. Myra_

I feel my stomach dropping as I taste bile in my throat. _This can't be good._

 _"_ You see this initiates? That's your life," spits out Eric, his voice dangerously soft. My eyes meet with Peter's. Jealousy looks ugly on him.

"If your name isn't colored in white by the time Stage One is over; you're out."

 _Deathly silence._

"Alright get out; don't forget that initiation curfew is at 9 pm and Dauntless help you if I find you wandering around after 9:01. Oh and also, I don't want to be hearing about an initiate pushing themselves onto another. Here we take torture very seriously," he grins sadistically, "now get out!"

I feel Christina's gently hand over my shoulder, but I shrug it off lightly.

"I'll find you, I just want to talk to Eric about what happened before," I say, before hugging her awkwardly. Nonetheless, she agrees as she continues walking off, laughing and talking to Will and Al.

"What are _you_ still doing here, Stiff?" He snarls out from behind me. I sigh before turning around and shaking my head.

" Tris...look Eric I'm so sorry about before," I wave my hands out slightly. "I really didn't mean to offend you. You're so confusing. It's either you're actually really nice to me, or you're cold and closed off. I know that you hate me, but I figured we could at least be civil with each other, not to mention I want us to be friends...even if you're a leader...and I'm an...initiate.." I stutter.

He leans against the same pillar from the morning, eyeing me intensely. Gracefully, he pushes himself from the stone before slowly edging towards me. My breath hitches in my throat again; heat creeping up my cheeks. He stops a few inches away from me; bending downwards slightly as he studies my face.

His eyes seem to be fighting an internal battle. Reaching his lean, tattooed arm out, he gently pushes a lock of my hair behind my ear. By the nasty grimace his face has become; I can tell his actions were uncalled for in his mind. Nonetheless, my insides start burning up and I feel dizzy. He pulls back rather hurriedly, pursing his lips together into a bemused frown.

"I don't hate you Tris. You just don't know me." His deep voice and manly cologne clog up my proper trail of thought. He narrows his eyes. I shudder again.

 _Wait, did he just call me Tris for the first time?_

"Why can't you let me get to know you? As a person. As my instructor." I press further. He seems to be struggling with his inner clash.

"It isn't that simple," he counters. It's as if his grey eyes are pleading for this silent torment in his mind to stop.

Involuntarily, I place my hand over his tattooed forearm, trailing the maze-like features, trying to make him concentrate on another stimulus. He stiffens and begins holding his breath. However, after a few moments; he seems to relax, the spark in his eyes now a gentle shade of contentedness.

I smile up at him; he smirks in response. _There's a lot of work going to have to be done for him to tear down his walls and trust me.._

"Goodnight Eric," I whisper, feeling my eyes widen at my realization that we had been holding hands lightly the whole time. I look up at him again, his realization staring back at me. I shift back, not feelings as uncomfortable as I thought I would. I let our touch linger a bit more before stepping away again, my hand cold and already missing his close aura around me. I turn away and start slowly walking towards the empty hallway towards the dorm-room.

"Goodnight Tris," I hear him murmur. I can feel his orbs burning into my back, as I feel the sense of warmth and acceptance in his goodbye for the night.


	8. Intoxicated conversations

**Hey guys! I feel like this isn't my bestest chapter, but it holds some truth and value for the story and for their rocky relationship. I hope you enjoy it. Toodaloo!**

A couple of days later, I wake up before all of the other initiates, my muscles aching after the couple of days filled with intense training and intense training only. I squint my eyes as I try to picture the figures on the dusty clock found above Christina's cot.

 _Four am._

The normal, exhausted being within me begs me to turn around and go back to sleep. But the more powerful side of me pulls me up and out of my uncomfortably comfortable cot and towards the bathroom. It takes me ten minutes to get ready.

I run out of the dorm and I start tiptoeing towards the Cafeteria, which is surprisingly open. The hallways are eerily quiet- to the point where I can hear my own blood flow through my veins.

 _There is a beauty in walking around the silent compound of the restless Faction._

Grabbing a glass of orange juice and a bowl of plain oatmeal; I sit at the 'shared-with-Eric' table, humming softly to myself, trying so hard not to let my eyes drag me into another restless nap. When I finish, I throw my trash away before slowly making my way towards the training room.

I correct my stance as I stand in front of my punching bag. I pull my hair back into a tight ponytail to prevent the locks from distracting me. I punch. Again. And again. And again. And again. I yell as I begin punching harder.

 _I need to get rid of these toxic feelings injected within my bone marrow. All this pain and agony and distress that I won't be able to pass initiation is bringing me down. But I will succeed._

Suddenly, the door bursts open. I don't turn around. _I can feel his presence lingering around me. I can smell his cologne slowly waking me up._ I crave his soft, cold touch on me again. _No Tris..._

"What are you doing here Tris? Training doesn't start for another two hours," he asks, the raspy sound of sleep aggravation still found in his voice. _Did he just call me Tris again?_ I smile as I feel butterflies dancing in my stomach. I turn to face him. His eyes are drained of energy and his eyebrows were knitted together.

"I have to catch up," I replied shaking my head slightly. He sighs, stepping towards me. "I can't...I _need_ to pass initiation. I want this so badly," I continue, hoping that he'll break the silence. Instead, he grabs my split knuckles ignores my hisses of pain as he inspects them. I bite my lip, closing my eyes, trying to memorize his calloused touch.

"Come jog with me," he orders me softly. I open my eyes slightly; squinting as I try to figure out whether he's serious or not. I nod. He smirks before turning around and sprinting towards the exit door of the training room, which leads us out of the compound.

Naturally, I'm way behind. Eric doesn't seem like he has any trouble running the couple of kilometres we pass together. Every ten minutes, he slows his pace; following my speed.

"Wanna take a break, Tris? This is the first time you've actually ran for real; don't pressure yourself too hard." There is a sense of worry in his voice. I shake my head stubbornly. He laughs, before sprinting to the front.

 _He is born a natural leader._

We circle the whole compound before sprinting back to our first checkpoint. Eric slows down as we reach closer to the training room. All of a sudden, my legs give out, causing me to plummet towards the dusty floor. I hear a loud laugh coming from Eric's direction. I groan, rolling to my back. When he reaches me, he squats down and eyes me, still laughing.

"Damn Stiff, what am I going to do with you?" He rolls his eyes before lifting me up and throwing me over his shoulder. I laugh. He struts in, loud and proud, before setting me down in the arena.

As he puts me down, I wrap my arms around his neck for support; my legs still feeling like goo. He seems a bit taken aback, confusion dancing in his eyes as he smirks; cocking his head to the side and allowing the sun to play around with the glinting studs over his brow when he raises it.

I pull away before walking towards my punching bag. I turn and lean against it, crossing my hands over my chest and throwing him a smirk of my own. His eyes widen slightly and he growls hungrily; muttering something inaudible to himself.

"You know, if you continue jogging with me, it can really help you with your muscle build-up, especially the _behind_ part of you" he winks.

I nod excitedly before realizing what he actually means. He eyes me intensely before opening and closing his mouth abruptly. The inner turmoil flame dancing behind his grey eyes.

"Alright, well you have a bit more time on your hands. Go clean yourself up and come back when it's time for initiation training to begin," he says, his cold exterior returning. I frown, before bowing my head, shrinking back to my initiate status.

The day is nearly over and yet Eric seems to be avoiding me. He barely looked in my direction. He seemed more irritated today, at everyone and everything. Al sneezed because of the dust and Eric made him run around the training room until his legs gave up on him. Christina yawned whilst he was explaining another way of defending ourselves and if looks could kill...she would have been murdered six times one after the other. We spend the whole day perfecting our punches and defensive reactions. Somewhere around seven pm, he gathers us again.

"Today was you last day of fucking around and playing around like kindergarten children," he snarls. "I want you all up tomorrow six am sharp tomorrow. We will be going over your fighting techniques one last time before the fights begin sometime after noon."

"We advise you to go to bed earlier tonight because trust me on this; tomorrow will not be easy," continues Four, earning a quick nod from the young Dauntless leader next to him.

"Okay get out." We trickle out. This time I follow Christina. I turn around to meet his menacing grey eyes one last time. I scowl at him. He grins. I give out a loud huff before turning around and stomping out of the training room. _He can't just expect me to know when he is in a good and an approachable mood. I'll confront him tomorrow._

An hour later; me, Christina, Will and Al are giggling hopelessly, sprawled over mine and Chris's cot. We are all a _little_ bit tipsy after Will smuggled in a bottle of golden brown liquid called whiskey from Dauntless knows where. The first time I took a gulp, my throat began burning, its threatening odor flaming up my senses. In Abnegation, of coarse, alcohol is banned. _But I'm Dauntless now._

"Let's go get tattoos," Christina blurts out, giggling like crazy. I stop and look at her straight in the eye as a new kind of excitement fills me. I nod rapidly. I grasp her hand in mine as I haul her out of the hallway towards the tattoo parlor. On the way there I slam into the last person I want to see right now. He grunts, narrowing his eyes suspiciously.

"Oopsie daisy Eric, *hiccup*" I burst into an unstoppable laughter. I peak over Eric's shoulder, watching Christina stumble and trip towards the tattoo parlor.

"Don't wait for me!" I yell, my stomach twisting as I feel my whole being reverberating with contentedness. _This whiskey is really calming me down._

"You're drunk," Eric growls. I hiccup before shrugging my shoulders. He leans in, grimacing at the recognition of the beverage laced in my breath.

"Whiskey...where did you get that? Initiates are not allowed to drink."

"Why do you care anyway?"

"Don't speak to your leader like that," he snarls, grabbing my waist, pulling me towards him.

"Why are you so mean to meee?" I wail, bouncing up and down. He casts me a dark glare, before picking me up and throwing me over his shoulder- this time very roughly. I wince in pain before pounding on his back.

"Let me go Eric," I slur. I feel him shaking his head against my waist firmly. He stops, probably thinking about what to do next. He then begins walking towards the apartment hallway; the direction opposite my dormitory.

"Where are you taking me?"

"I can't have you running around, drunk, and the fact that you share the same sleeping compartment with Peter makes me want to vomit anyway," he rumbles on quietly; as if he's talking to himself.

 _He probably thinks that I won't remember anything tomorrow._

I close my eyes for what feels like a few seconds. When I force them to open again, I am in a large king-sized bed in an unfamiliar room. I try and look around but my head starts pounding and hurting. I groan. The door creaks open and I meet his irritated expression. I sit up as he gives me a few small pills and a glass of water.

"Drink this," he commands. "That should fix you up till tomorrow morning."

I do as he says. He does not take his eyes off of me, as if to ensure that I am doing just as he says.

"Thank you," I whisper. He nods, taking the glass out of my hand and walking out. However, he turns at the doorway and shifts uneasily.

"Call me...if you need anything."

"Wait, Eric" I croak. He halts and turns to wait for an explanation. I sigh.

"Why are you like this? You're nice to me and then the next moment you're an…asshole- cold and sour." He chuckles before moving back to sit right beside me.

"I didn't know the Stiff could swear." He smirks. I glower and he grimaces back before sighing slightly.

"You've already asked me this before. Trust me, with time everything will align perfectly." He doesn't elaborate. Instead, he pinches my nose, before standing up and leaving me.

I smile. _He's going to open up to me. He just assured me. Don't worry Tris. Why do I care anyway? Ugh no..._

Before I could finish my internal debate with my emotions, I fall fast asleep, dreaming how I am in the arms of a certain Dauntless Leader.


	9. New Rules

**Hey guys! Here's an intense chapter coming your way! I'd like to thank all of the wonderful people who have been so nice and have supported me up to now, and have left me reviews. Especially to Damn You Kylie, whom I've exchanged messages with and who has given me a few tips and tricks as to how I should survive on this website haha. You should all check out her very well-written stories, I rarely read any fics that aren't Eris related; but her stories are just amazing.**

 **Anways, back to the intense chapter hahaha. I struggled a bit with the fight scene but I think it turned out better than I envisioned it to turn out. Well at least for the first fight scene that I have ever written. Enjoy x**

"Tris, wake up."

I groan, my head throbbing with the consequences of last night's little celebration. I squint my eyes as the image of the person who was slightly shaking me formulates. I gasp. It's Christina. I jolt up and look around. _I swear I was with Eric the last time I woke up._

"Where am I...what the hell happened last night." I search for answers in Christina's eyes. She frowns, lightly bowing her head.

"Will smuggled in some whiskey and we kinda got drunk. Then I suggested that we should go to the tattoo parlor, and you agreed. On the way there you stumbled into Eric. He was too busy giving you hell for being so drunk; or maybe he just didn't bother to go after me but anyway I managed to slide past him. But it didn't take long for Four to pop out of nowhere, grab my about-to-pass-out ass and to put me in the Infirmary to clear me out from the toxins. He then interrogated me intensively, but as soon as I told him that you were intoxicated too, he kinda just widened his eyes and sprinted out. I fell asleep and like, then I got woken up by these idiots arguing and shouting at each other. It was Eric and Four. They were arguing about something to do with you but I couldn't be bothered to eavesdrop. After a couple of minutes had passed and they were still fighting, Eric stormed in laying you here ever so gracefully. Hahaha it seemed like he actually cared about you! He caught me eyeing him and told me that Four was supposed to go over the ground rules when it came to drinking and sex with us. That's why we aren't going to be punished." She explains, refusing to take a quick break to breathe in. I sigh- relief stroking my burnt lungs. Then I gasped again.

"Christina! Today is fighting day...are we late? Let's go!" I raise my voice. The same panic-stricken expression reaches Christina's beautiful face as we both jerk out of our hospital beds.

Yelling out a muffled 'thank you' to the nurse in charge of our brainless asses; we sprint back to our dorm room; change into our training clothes and run towards the training room- not bothering to grab something to eat. We barge in, meeting the eyes of the scowling Four and the smirks of Peter and his minions. I look around- Eric is nowhere to be seen. My stomach drops with disappointment as I bite my bottom lip. I hear loud footsteps as I stare at Four's distressed and overworked expression.

"I don't want yesterday's little party to ever happen again whilst you're still initiates," he growls, making both me and Christina flinch at the harshness. We nod rapidly before following him back towards the center of the training room. He stands up on a slightly higher platform.

"Today the fighting begins. Let's hope that the ones who missed the last punching exercises are ready for what's coming," he retorts, eyeing me. I bow my head, ashamed.

"This is the schedule for who fights who today. First fighters- in the ring." he declares as he points to the blackboard withholding all of the fights for today… My eyes travel down- searching for my name- before they stop abruptly as they reach their final destination.

 **1\. Molly X Tris**

I chew on my lip; trying to suppress the frustration my vexed body is trying to voice.

"This should be nice and easy," cackles Molly, shoulder-bumping into me as she makes her way to the ring. I nervously tie my hair into a ponytail, before following her. We enter the ring- glaring at each other. But Molly breaks the sharp silence.

"How long do we fight for?"

"Until one of you can't continue," responds an exasperated voice of an approaching Eric. He halts when he reaches Four and crosses his arms, his maze-tattoos bulging out. I let out a quick, quivering breath as I watch Four sending him a death glare.

"Or one of you concedes."

Eric chortles cynically, not detaching his eyes off of mine. _There's a different spark behind them this time. Pain? Sorrow? But definitely anger._

"No, that's according to the old rules. With the new rules; no one concedes," he spits out, clenching his jaw as he shifts his eyes to icily stare at Four. They begin muttering quietly, but loud enough for us to know that they are both disagreeing with each other. Then they stop and simply glare at each other dangerously. Silence fills the room as the tension screeches around us. Defeated by the powers of the Dauntless leadership, Four nods at us to proceed. _Oh no._

I turn to face Molly, gulping loudly as I get into fighting position. It doesn't take her long enough to haul herself at me- her fist locking with my cheekbone, causing me to yelp loudly. Dazed by the force, I shake my head- only to see Molly's other fist come straight towards me. I am quicker though. I grab her coming fist and twist it as ruthlessly as I can. She screeches, making me smile. I use the pain of her distraction to throw a punch the way Eric told me. And another. And another. I hear Christina, Will and Al's supportive cheers as I continue bashing at Molly, who is desperately trying to shield her bloody face. I feel exhausted, like as if every drop of energy I once had has just diffused out of my body. _I can't back down._

I stand over her crouched physique and kick her once in the stomach; and then in the abdomen; and then in the face. Just as my foot nears her face, she twists rapidly and grabs me, pulling me down to the floor next to her. She leaps over me, pinning me down with her body weight.

She grabs my hair and forcefully twists me so I am laying on my stomach. She grabs my head, and throws it towards the cold, hard surface of the ring floor. Then she does it again. _Crack._ Red plasma begins oozing out of my nose, making me see black blotches. I try to elbow her face when she's in reach, catching her by surprise. _The pain of my broken nose is unbearable, but it will never be as unbearable as the thought of me getting cut. Living Factionless. Helped by my Faction of origin._ I wriggle from under her strong grip; positioning my arm over her throat, blocking her airways. She gasps for air, hysterically trying to tuck at my hair, but I successfully move my head out of the way every time. My blood is covering us both now, dripping down my face and onto hers. The black spots limiting my vision begin growing- taking away my reign over her slowly. This forces me to choke her harder, praying that she will faint any moment before I do. Luckily, her eyes roll to the back of her head as she falls limp in my dangerously powerful clutch. But I don't notice. I continue to strangle the lifeless Molly- until I feel someone violently rips me out of my hovering position over her. Pulling me up; he holds me as he hastily drags us towards the benches, my consciousness slowly leaving my grip.

"Hey Tris you won, don't fall asleep. You won! C'mon Tris...no...look at me," he commands grabbing my chin, as if desperately fixating me to have no other choice but to look at him. I gaze deeply into his panic-stricken eyes. Only then I realize that he is pressing an ice-pack on my cracked nose, as he is attempting to block the blood from leaving my broken nose.

"You called me Tris," I sigh into his hand.

"Stiffs aren't brave, and Stiffs most certainly do not win their first fight," he whispers, gently rubbing circles over my bruised cheek, his fingers then dipping in my blood. And then the world fades into obsidian.


	10. Difference

**Hey everyone. So I wasn't initially planning on writing a chapter for tonight, since I have my studies and all, but I finished early and even though I was tired I sat down and decided on writing a small, quick chapter. I don't even know how this turned out as the longest chapters yet. But anyway I hope you guys enjoy it, if you want I'd be happy if you leave a review with your opinions. Till next time x**

A couple of days have passed after my victory against Molly, the 'unbeatable' human tank. Before we were thrown into the ring, to battle like the gladiators I've read about- she used to look down at me. _The Stiff._ She used to trip me, call me names and even went up to threaten to kill me; just because I stood up for myself one time. _Now it's all different._ She dares not look at me in the eye. If she does, she winces in pain. I can see it. Her skin becomes ghastly pale and she looks like she swallowed a stick. Whenever I pass her now; she tends to bow her head. I'm okay with that. I want them to know that I am no Stiff anymore. _Not anymore._

Today is our day off. Saturday. Four was called into the control room and has to stay and fix some major issue; whilst Eric can't be bothered to train us today. _Poor him; I can relate. It's extremely tiring sitting around doing nothing but shouting at a group of transfers training to become Dauntless soldiers._ Since we have nothing to do all day long; most of us decide to sleep in till noon. But not me. I wake up nice and early before sunrise. I hastily get dressed and run to the bathroom. After brushing my teeth, combing my hair and braiding it into a simple braid, I turn to gaze at the girl in the mirror. She looks, so much different then when I first came here. Due to my Abnegation uprising, I tend to skip mirror-gazing quite often. But I need to break away.

The girl staring back at me had muscles. And she wore a fatigued expression, her lips were chapped, her eyes bloodshot. Her skin was yellow, she looked..almost nonhuman. Her hair had split ends, for the first time in her life. And the golden locks seemed to fade into this dirty, ugly blonde. I shake my head. _It's been a week or so since the transition. I wanna change._ I walk towards the hollow Cafeteria, mindlessly planning my day and what I'm planning to change about myself. _I wanna look more Dauntless._

After ingesting a few wonderfully cooked and crispy pancakes, topped with maple syrup, I walk towards the Chasm. Bending over, I sit at the edge of the rail. One wrong step and I am as good as dead. I close my eyes and begin to daydream.

"Hey, uh can I join you," someone nervously stutters behind me. I turn around, meeting the deep blue eyes of Al. I send him a sympathetic smile, scooting to the side. He sighs with relief and drops himself next to me. I resume my silent meditation, lifting my chin high up and humming softly. Yet the silence around me is ripped apart by another stuttering remark.

"You're, uh, really good at fighting. Like super good. I mean not that it's good to mindlessly beat someone up, but we were kinda forced too. But you were really good," he repeats, fiddling with his hands. I let out a small laugh as I shake my head.

"Thanks Al, you weren't that bad yourself out there." Lies. Will- the Erudite boy, who is two times smaller and less muscular than him beat him in less than five minutes. It got Eric clutching his heart mockingly.

"Please, I suck. I'm so sure that I'm going to get cut. But I accept that." He scoffs. _What? That's it? He isn't even going to fight for gaining a spot here in Dauntless?_ I clench my jaw, feeling a shock of anger and frustration fluster within me.

"Don't be so hard on yourself. I'm sure that if you _try_ your best you can score some more points. You can do it Al," I mutter monotonously, patting him on the back.

"Thanks Tris, you're the best," he exclaims, before throwing his arms around my tiny body frame. I freeze, internally cringing so badly. I neither move his hands away or return his gesture. He pulls away blushing. I pull off a fake smile, lifting his spirits up. He begins opening his mouth.

"You know what? I just remembered...that I have to find Christina...to look for something," I mumble, getting up. He stares at me, confused.

"Girl problems," I chuckle. He begins standing up.

"I can come with you, for protection haha." _Please I- who is three times shorter than you- can protect myself better than you can._

"No!" I yell a little too loudly. "Uh I mean, nah sorry. I promised to go to the tattoo parlor with Chris. Just us. You know. Me. Her. Us. Haha. Okay see ya," I sprint away from my awkward encounter with Al before he can even utter his sad goodbye.

* * *

"Christina, wake up!" I sing as I haul myself over her sleeping body. She moans in pain.

"No...what time is it." I roll my eyes.

"It's three in the afternoon, you won't be able to go to sleep tonight."

"Nooo, I need...my beauty sleep." She pulls her pillow over her head. I take it from her, throwing it across the dorm-room. She jerks up angrily, scowling.

"TRIS!"

"I'm sorry! It's just I've been waiting for you to wake up all day long, so we can go to the hairdresser's, then maybe even stop by the tattoo parlor, maybe even get a tattoo, a piercing," I exclaim, wriggling my eyebrows. Her spirits shoot up as she pushes herself out of bed excitedly. Ten minutes later, we link arms and skip towards the hairdresser's. I go first. As I sit in the chair, this fierce looking perfect-Dauntless chick rolls behind me. She has a half -shaved hairstyle and a septum piercing. She is chewing gum, and after every single question I could hear it pop.

"Hey. My name is Kyra, what are we going for today? I can see you're a virgin to any haircuts except for once-in-a-while trims over the split ends, am I right? _POP!_ I nod. After deeply explaining what I am envisioning, she nods, clearly intrigued, before beginning. After doing her magic; washing and drying my hair, she brings out a mirror.

"How d'ya like it now, love? _POP!_ I gasp, mesmerized. She had cut my hair shoulder-length and had dyed it black, with tinted streaks of burgundy red. _The Dauntless colors._ I run my hand through my new hairstyle, utterly obsessed with it. _It's great to finally be able to feel like a normal sixteen year old. Even if it has to be for a day._ All of a sudden, my stomach drops. _What if Eric doesn't like it?_ I growl, furious at myself for having that thought pass through my mind.

"It's lovely, how much is it?" She waves her hand.

"Please, I never take credit's for taking away a client's hair virginity. It was my pleasure." She grins. I thank her immensely before walking out with Christina.

"Oh my DAUNTLESS, you look so HOT. No one's gunna think you were EVER from Abnegation. It's like you naturally fit in," she beams.

"Alright, let's go get some holes and ink!" We link arms once more as we huddle into the large tattoo parlor. After looking around for a while, I see Tori. _The Dauntless in charge of my aptitude test._ I run towards her, embracing her sincerely. She is taken aback, but then her features relax as she finally realizes who I am.

"Oh Tris, God, I didn't even realize that it's you. Oh you look good." We chuckle. After sharing a short conversation about how training is going, she asks:

"So how can I help you? Holes or ink." _In Dauntless, they have nicknames for piercings and tattoos._

 _"_ I was thinking both," I wink.

"Great! I see you'll fit in here just fine!" I sit in the leather seat, patiently waiting for Tori's arrival with the equipment. _First it's the tattoo._

When she comes back, she brings out a large, bandage-like strap with miniature needles over it's surface, which is put over the place the individual wants the tattoo to be. I chose my collarbone. Tori then attaches a tube to the bandage, from where the ink is supplied. Under the bandage, she puts the desired stencil. I chose three ravens. I made it unknown, to both me and the world whether they are flying away from my heart of towards it. Each symbolizes one my my family members. My mother, my father and Caleb. After she has done each step, she turns away, leaving the machine stuck on my skin to tingle and burn away my wishes of the three ravens. Tori was the very first person I dared to ask about her ink. Right before my aptitude. And she told me that if I were to ever get one, that I really have to be sure that I want it. Because there is no going back after that bandage connects with your body.

"What piercings you thinking of getting?" She asks, pulling me back into the leather seat.

"I was thinking of an industrial," I announce, thinking about anything but the pain in my collarbone. She stops and turns to gaze at me, dead in the eye.

"Are you sure, Tris? It's one of the hardest piercings, and it takes more than nine months for the tissue to fully heal."

"Can't I just put healing cream over it?" Usually, healing cream is only used for things such as tattoo healing and/or after surgery, like when they fixed my nose after my battle with Molly.

She bites her lip, thinking before nodding happily.

"Alrighty then, let's get this over and done with before these little ravens are fully cooked," she chuckles, causing me to join in.

By the time the bandage is done burning, a barbell of titanium metal is shoved through my slightly pointed, elf-like ears. I have always been a little ashamed of them, because they were...just different. But now I feel different. I _am_ different. _Maybe I'm using the industrial to conceal the fact that I am afraid of having slightly outstretched ears._ Nonetheless, I accept myself just the way I am. My mother always told me that my ears' uniqueness make up part of my individuality today. Maybe she's right.

"Thank you so much Tori; everything looks beautiful," I say as I hop out of the chair, slightly dazed at the sudden movement. Christina was still getting her tattoo done, so she tells me to just go back without her, since it was getting late. I turn towards Tori, but before I can ask her about payment, she hurriedly ushers me out of the parlor. "Consider this a 'welcome to Dauntless' gift from me to you," she whispers, winking at me, before shutting the door in my face.

I laugh as I skip towards the training room. I know I shouldn't be in there, but I'm just finding an excuse to run into him again. Opening the heavy doors, I see no one. Disappointed, I walk out and towards the Pit. When I enter, I see hundreds of Dauntless members partying, singing, drinking and grinding on each other. But I don't care. I just want to find Eric. Just as I am looking around I feel a calloused hand wrap over my shoulder, shifting me towards him. I look up to meet Eric's surprisingly relaxed features. His eyes were tired, but he didn't seem like himself. _Oh no...he's drunk._ Heavily regretting my decision, I sigh.

"Heyy Tris," he slurs.

"Hey Eric," my tone is painfully firm. _I don't want him to do anything he will probably regret tomorrow in the morning._

"I love your hairrr," he playfully runs his hand through the shorter locks of coal-black hair running down my head.

"Thank you. I was just wondering...whether we have training tomorrow," I lie. He laughs wholeheartedly.

"Are you sure that this is the only reason why you're here?" My stomach drops. I gulp loudly, saved by the loud music muffling my nervousness.

"Umm, yeah hahaha, sure," I chuckle nervously. He rolls his eyes, completely not buying my crap.

"Tomorrow...we have training...yes," he groans. I nod before slowly backing away. But Eric grabs my waist and pulls me towards him.

"No, don't go," he murmurs, a dark glint playing around in his eyes. I am both intrigued and afraid. As much as I want to stay with him, I pull away cautiously.

"No Eric, I'd love to stay, but I need to go. Initiate curfew is in fifteen minutes." He growls, quietly cursing at Four for making the curfew so early. I smile at him, turning away. He grabs me again, twirling me back into him. He rests his head as he rests it on my shoulder for a few seconds.

"Next time then," he whispers, his fingers twirling around my hair one last time before he reluctantly releases me into the dark hallway.


	11. Jealousy

**Hey guys, I don't mean to ramble this time. I just wanted to thank all of the wonderful people who leave reviews and who continue to read my story. I'm very grateful. Don't worry, as soon as the real stuff comes out it'll be so much more fun. Until then, enjoy x**

"Listen up assholes, because I want today to be over and done with before Al can let another yawn out of his big mouth," yells Eric, wincing at the sound of his deafening, hot roar. He is still quite hungover after yesterday. When I walked in this morning, his head seems like it's killing him so much that he is close to tears. _We really should be careful today around him._

"Knife-throwing," he continues, pausing as he squints his eyes, probably hoping that in that way it'll rid him of the regret and pain of last night's fun.

"One of the hardest methods that we will be teaching you as Dauntless trainers," continues Four- the amused glint in his eyes giving away the humor he finds within Eric's suffering. "This is a blade," he holds up a beautiful, silver knife, twirling it gracefully around his fingers.

"Your posture will definitely affect whether the blade will fall onto the floor or hit the target. Dauntless like to use the spinning technique whilst knife-throwing. This means that the knife will rotate during flight. Now don't get too relaxed because it's not as easy as it sounds. Make slights adjustments to the placement of the knife in your hand; or the way you choose to throw it. If you choose to hold closer to the blade, it's going to make a half spin. If however, you choose to hold it by the handle, it'll make a full spin. Like this," he lifts his arm behind his head and throws the knife with unimaginable force- sticking the blade in the dead center of the target. I open my mouth, shocked. I hear Eric chuckle behind Four as he stares at my gobsmacked expression, before grunting in agony, holding his head. I smirk. _Serves him right._

"Begin!" Four yells. Rapidly, we all shuffle towards the table, each grabbing three or so knives before standing in front of individual targets. Mine is nicely situated closely next to where Eric was groaning. I take my time, carefully re-watching Four's movements in my mind. I get into position, lifting my arm up just the way he did it and throw. My knife lands nowhere near my target. I sigh and attempt it once more. Once again, anger shakes within me.

"You need to put pressure over here; and try to hold your breath while you're throwing. That'll keep you steady," I hear someone murmur behind me as I feel his hands wrap around my waist. I turn to look up, only to realize that it was Four. I jump, completely startled and disappointed at the same time. I quickly conceal my fluster of negative responses to his touch as I nod indifferently, resuming my position, facing my target. Carefully lifting my blade up, inhaling and exhaling sharply.

"That's it, now hold your breath and let go," he whispers, his hands still on my waist. I throw. _SLAM!_ My blade is twitching and swaying as it stays stationary in the center of my target. Happiness arouses within me.

"Excellent Tris, keep going," Four squeezes my shoulder before walking away. I hear a murderous growl coming from Eric. Turning to face him, I see him glaring menacingly at Four's retreating figure. _If looks could kill, he would be six feet under by now._

He catches my gaze, and his features visibly soften up. He smirks at me before leaping off the boulder he was once sitting on. I return his cute gesture before returning to my task. Once more, I follow Four's instructions- causing my second knife to collide with the thick, wooden skin of my battered target.

"You're pretty good at this," Christina whispers beside me, before she herself propels her blade through the air, generating it to enter her target's close center.

"I could say the same thing about you," I laugh.

All of a sudden, I feel a familiar set of calloused hands clutch my waist possessively. I immediately relax as I inhale his manly cologne, feeling butterflies shoot around in my stomach. Next thing I feel is him leaning close to my ear.

"Next time he gets so close to you, that'll be the last time he would ever touch a woman," he growls voluptuously, making me shudder. He chuckles, releasing me slowly as he walks away triumphantly. That was until he halts behind Al. By now, everyone has successfully hauled a knife towards the target, either making it stick or just scraping the target's surface. Except for Al. _He isn't even trying his best._

"What the fuck was that?" glowers Eric, making Al jump slightly.

"It slipped," he spat back out, taking Eric aback. _Out of all the days he could act up against him; he chose the day in which Eric is hungover and more pissed than usual._ I bite my lip as I- as well as all of the other souls in the room- wait in anticipation for Eric's next move. Instead of lashing out at Al, he simply stares at him, malevolently. As Al visibly flinches under his icy glare, Eric finally decides the rip apart the silence built around us.

"Since you've finally decided to toughen up, let's see how you can deal with being the target, shall we? Four gimme a hand here," he calmly responds, before shifting to the side, making space for Four to take his old position.

"Go stand in front of the target," he adds, his voice dripping with venom. Reluctantly, Al goes.

"You're going to stand there while Four throws knives at you; and if I see you flinch; you're out. Here you _will_ learn how to follow orders," he grins deviously. Picking up three knives, Four rolls his eyes.

"Is this really necessary?" He mutters, loud enough for Eric to hear him.

"Spare me the lecture Four and follow the orders," he yells, clutching his head once more as he shakes the pain away. We stare as Four uplifts his arm once more.

"Stop." All eyes turn to face me, withholding equally surprised looks as I do. I gulp before turning to the extremely-pissed-off Eric.

"Anyone can stand in front of a target. That doesn't prove anything," I state, feeling the tension his grey eyes carry.

"Well then...it should be easy for you...to take his place then," he narrows his eyes. It's as if his eyes were the only things from his whole physique begging for me to decline. I huff as I begin sauntering towards the target.

"There goes that pretty face of yours Stiff, oops, wait you never had one," snickers Peter and his lackeys.

"Shut the fuck up before I make you and anyone else laughing run around the entire compound until your legs give out!" bellows Eric, before altering his stare towards me. I continue walking towards the target.

"Thank you," mouths Al, forcing me to pull another fake smile as I cringe again.

Upon reaching my destination, I twist, propping up against the target. I am so short that the center rings stand over my head like a halo of misery and bad luck.

"If you flinch Tris, Al is taking your place. Understood?" Eric sighs through his structured, clenched jawline.

"Ready?" Four asks, earning a sarcastic nod from me. The force of the hit is so strong that it makes me along with the whole target shudder. After three more knives are swiftly thrown my way, one even going as far as catching my ear; Eric growls loudly yelling once more.

"Alright get the fuck out. Make sure you go to bed earlier than normal. Trust me when I tell you that you'll need it," he smirks, eyes glinting with excitement. I wait until everyone, including Four- who has not stopped apologizing- leave before turning abruptly to face Eric's back. I open my mouth, but no words escape. I have legit nothing to say to him. I spin around and start walking towards the door, feeling the tears burn my eyes.

"Tris wait." I feel mitigation rush through my vessels, forcing my heart to pump up more oxygen as my breath hitches in my throat. _Why does he have so much power over me?_

"What?" I growl, not daring to meet his dominant glare. I don't realize that one of the bitter tears has escaped until his rough fingers catches it. Looking up at his eased-from-the-stress traits, I scowl, shutting my eyes.

"I'm so tired of your mood swings Eric. I really can't keep up. Twenty minutes ago you were acting all jealous over the fact that Four was taking away my personal space. And ten minutes ago? You were just staring as Four _hauled_ knives at me. He could have hit me harder," I exclaim, frustrated at his calculating look.

"Four is the best knife-thrower in Dauntless. It's not like I made Peter throw knives at you. And I wasn't...jealous." he scoffs.

"I don't know what to think. Can you judge me for labeling you as jealous when you're acting like this?" I imply, amplifying my voice.

"Acting like what Tris?" I could hear the irritation in his raised up voice.

"I don't know! This!" I yell, wavering at the space between us. He stops and shakes his head, biting his lip. And then he explodes.

"WHAT'S UP WITH YOU STIFFS ALWAYS THINKING THAT THERE IS MORE TO THE STORY? NOTHING. IS. GOING. ON. WITH. THIS," He shouts at the top of his lungs. But that spark in his eyes again; they betray the lies in his words. _Maybe I'm just stupid and thought too much over it. He might be right. I pray that he doesn't mean it._

Without muttering a single word, I sprint out of the training room, traveling to nowhere in particular. _I just want to get away from the thoughts of him. I can't. Oh God, I can't._

 _"_ Tris," I hear a muffled shout coming from the training room, but my weeps of heartbreak have already taken over.


	12. Paintballs

**Hey everyone! Life has been everywhere so I had to take a short break. But for now I think I'm back on track. And it really does feel good! Here's another chapter coming your way! Hope you enjoy it x**

That night I daze into a restless battle of sleep, sobbing. After running out of that training Purgatory, filled with the presence of the Devil himself- I chose not to eat, meet or talk to anyone but my own irrational thoughts. Four passed me at one point- questioning my swelled up, red eyes that could not even compare to the swelling I sensed around my heart. It hurts every single time I intake a short breath. After a few agitated and enduring hours of rolling around in my uncomfortable cot, I feel a veil of darkness pull me in.

Not long after, the same sound of the connection of metal and the cot's edge from the first morning here, pulls me out of my dreamless nightmare. I look up at the clock.

 _12:00 am._

"Alright assholes you've got five minutes to put on your training attire and a warm jacket. We're going on a trip." I dare not look up and meet his blazing grey eyes that can sweep me off my feet and dominate my senses. But with that comes the price of experiencing fear and to him is like having a conversation with a wall. _It's a one-sided thing._ At least that's how I feel. I leap out, shoving past Peter and intentionally shaking out of the leader's firm grasp around my tiny wrist. I turn to face his tired yet still hot features- feeling the tears prickle through my narrowed eyes. He seems really taken aback. He bites his lip before bowing his head shamefully. I snort. _Can the ruthless Dauntless leader really feel pain?_

The five minutes following pass in a blur and I am soon standing still- surrounded by my fellow transfers and the group of Dauntless-born initiates- panting as I try to catch up with the pace of my beating heart after sprinting and jumping into the last compartment. I meet Four's hungry brown eyes as I feel a small smile creep across my lips as a silent thank you for his selfless gesture. He had pulled me in; just as I felt my short legs give up next to the moving train. My eyes skim through the moving hallway until they halt at the image of Eric. He is glaring at Four. His stone-dead frown was the exact same one he wore when Four helped me out during our knife-throwing lesson. And just as it happened back then, his eyes met mine, immediately diminishing anything dangerous from that frightful frown. I bite my lip, so forcefully to the point where I could taste the strong coppery taste of my own blood in my mouth. He frowns again, but this time it's different. _Worry?_

I huff and turn around, afraid that I could unintentionally let out more tears- proving to everyone that I am a Stiff, and a big one in that matter.

"Listen up imbeciles," Eric bellows, his hoarse voice vibrating within the cores of the large compartment, but also inside my stomach.

"We're going to play Capture the Flag. Two teams...Four and I are captains. Losers pick first," declares Eric, casting a humorously dark expression towards Four as he slaps his back a little too forcefully. This earns him a pair of rolling eyes.

"Edward."

Eric nods reluctantly, seeming that he wanted Edward on his own team since he is the best out of all of us. His stormy eyes start browsing through the compartment, his contortion calculating. That is all replaced with a huge smirk when his eyes land on me. I gulp loudly.

"Tris." Awkwardly, I shuffle to stand next to his broadly muscular figure. Just as I reach him, the uneven tracks of the train decide to shift too quickly; causing me to shove into Eric. I cling onto his black Dauntless jacket, sensing the arrival of butterflies in my stomach. Someone around us clears their throat, causing me to slowly open my eyes; only to see myself leaned into Eric, tightly gripping onto his side, whilst his hand was snaked possessively around my waist. I feel my cheeks heat up as I rapidly pull away from his grip, but still standing relatively close to him. Four calls out a name; followed by Eric doing to same thing. I block out their voices and fall into a daydream of how I'm thinking of cracking Eric open. I frown at myself. _I should be focusing on passing training and winning this game, but instead I'm standing next to the asshole that can twirl me around his little finger, and I'm planning things that will probably never happen._

"Alright now that we've split you up, let's go over the rules," remarks Eric, the glint of excitement in his eyes shared by anyone who has been in Dauntless from before the Choosing Ceremony.

"The game is simple, we're going to jump out of the train at two different destinations. The point is that each team has one flag they have to protect. If the other team gets a hold of your flag, you lose, and trust me, you don't want to be on the losing team," scoffs out Four, his eyes judging each and every one of the players on his enemy's team.

During his little speech, going over the rules, Eric pulls out a bag full of paintball guns.

"Weapon of choice, paintball gun."

Peter snorts.

"I thought we're going to use something more powerful..." Eric rolls his eyes, points the gun to Peter's groin and shoots. There is a large _bang_ as Peter yells in excruciating pain as he drops to the floor, desperately holding onto his wounded area. Eric along with the Dauntless-born initiates all chuckle knowingly at his stupid remark.

"These are high pressured paintball guns. A normal paintball gun can pretty much just bruise you badly. But this baby," he grins lifting up his gun, "Oh no, this over here can rip through delicate tissue if the right mode is turned on. We've set them up onto medium so most of yous' are most likely to sport some pretty severe bruises if you're on the wrong team," he beams, pointing his gun towards the array of initiates scuttled behind Four.

Time flies by just like the scenery beyond the compartment walls, and soon after, Eric yells out:

"My team, be ready to jump in a few minutes." We all proceed to walk towards the open door. Me being the tiniest, I seem to be the only one who is having some issues gripping onto the gun. I stand there, next to the open door, camouflaged by unknown Dauntless faces- since Eric picked all of the Dauntless-born...and me. Just as I am about to leap out, I feel a forceful shove from a foreign to my consciousness hand. I squeak loudly, feeling my developing muscles thrusting me out of the train. That is; until the familiar calloused hand of my dearest Dauntless leader fits perfectly around my waist, dragging my falling body back into his chest. I cough as I try to stifle a cry. Looking up, I see Eric's blazing scorched stare send daggers towards my favorite human being in the whole world. Peter. He was facing us both, his smug face leaving an expression that just doesn't fit with his previous girly weeps of pain when Eric shot him.

"Initiate, what the fuck do you think you're doing?" Eric's voice was dangerously quiet. One thing scares me more than him screaming. Him being calm in situations like this. It feels like he is playing around with his prey before ripping his throat out.

"I don't know what you're talking about." Responds Peter. Eric growls, his grip tightening around my waist even more. I coil my trembling hand around his wrist; gently painting invisible figures of unknown lines and swirls. He seems to calm down a little, but not to the point where he isn't threatening. Swiftly, with the blink of an eye, he's out of my reach and has his hand around Peter's throat. I can tell he isn't letting him off easily by the pale white shade of his knuckles, and the deep purple color painting Peter's face as he struggles to breathe. No one dares speak up, no one dares to breath, no one dares to move.

"Don't act stupid with me initiate," he spits out, stiffening his grip around his prey's neck even more as every second passes.

"One more time you piss me off like this, and I will personally throw you under the moving train. Trust me when I tell you how easy the paperwork for 'an accident involving a depressed initiate' is." I shiver. But once again, his threats seem to pull me towards his protective embodiment even more.

Letting him go, Eric grabs my hand and hauls us out of the moving train. He doesn't even stop us to wait for the group of team mates following us. Instead, he clenches his jaw thoughtfully before yelling:

"My team: find a good hiding spot for the flag and try and locate Four's team. I have shit to discuss with the _Stiff_." They all seemed unimpressed until he finishes his sentence. And with that, they sprint into the unknown darkness of the opposite direction. I begin trying to grapple my way out of his painfully grasping reach, before he abruptly lets go, making me plummet to the ground with a small groan. He chuckles before lifting me up again, like the rag-doll that I have become in his hands. I look up into his turbulent eyes, staring at the pain they withhold once more. _What the fuck is bothering him so much?!_

 _"_ Tris," he hums, stepping closer. "We need to talk."


	13. Warming up

**Cliffhanger, sorry haha. I low-key love putting cliffhangers, so I'm hoping that this isn't the first time that this is going to happen. Anyway I hope you enjoy this shortish chapter. I also want to thank again the people who have been leaving me reviews. What especially made my heart leap was the fact that authors who have written stories which are one of the reasons that I've began writing are actually reviewing and liking my story is just unreal. Thank you so much. Now anyway, I hope that you like this! x**

Fear creeps over me, absorbing me fully. I open my mouth, but no words escape. His soft murmur has left me hollow inside. I am incapable of thinking for myself. Maybe it's the Dauntless Leadership status he possesses. _Or maybe it's the dominating aura that can order me around as much as it wants._ We hear leaves rustling before he can say something again. He glares over my shoulder; grumbling before grabbing my hand irritably and hauling me after him once more.

We walk for several minutes around the cold and bitter unknown. With each step I take, I feel more like the sixteen year old, weak and feeble girl that I am. Or was. _Now it's just me and him. What does he want?!_

As if sensing my impatience slurring within me, he stops short in his tracks, causing me to collide into his towering physique. His height is one of my favorite things about him. The tallness makes me feel so protected, and the strength he carries around so nonchalantly within himself emits indescribable influence and power. He looks down at me, and all the sovereignty his grey eyes withhold seems to vanish. He looks so powerless. _Why?_

"Clearly you have something to tell me, so go ahead," I stammer, failing to hide my own fear held in my eyes and quivering voice.

"Yes I do Tris," he sighs, biting his bottom lip violently as his furrows his brows together. He cautiously takes a step back, as if backing away from a ferocious animal. I try to walk closer, but he shakes his head in the negative. This time it's my turn to be frustrated. I exhale loudly, bouncing up and down on my heels, striving so hard to internally voice my vexed irritation in response to his silent battles with his demons.

"Tris, why are you doing this?" His voice is quivering as he attempts to keep his posture dominating. I widen my eyes, fury boiling inside of me.

"Excuse you? I'm doing what exactly?" I raise my voice, falling into the trap of forgetting that he's my superior in every possible way.

"No you don't get it. Look I'm not good at...opening up," he blurts out the last bit, seeking understanding in my oblivious to what-the-heck-is-happening eyes.

"Eric I can't pull the words out of you with a string. If you want to say something go for it, but just try to make sense because I realllly don't know where you're going with this."

He stops to think for a moment, but his eyes never fall off me.

"I'm so sorry for yelling at you last night. You're not definitely not a Stiff. It's just, ever since you jumped off the roof-hell- you were the first jumper for fuck's sake. Ever since you came to Dauntless...you've intrigued me so much. There's a flame in your eyes and you withhold a spirit which reminds me so much of myself when I was an initiate. I kept telling myself to just forget about you and move on, but you always seem to pop up in my head at the worst of times. I hate that you're taking away my ruthlessness, because frankly, that's the only thing that has kept me standing since I've entered Dauntless. And I can see it in your eyes too. You and I both know that I'm not the only one suffering from this new _situation_ ," he says, his eyes a dark metallic silver. There is no more fear or vulnerability hidden within them- only lust and relief.

I nod slowly, the butterflies battling with each other inside my gut.

"Yeah Eric, you _do_ know how I feel; but it doesn't seem like it stops you from bullying me and treating me like _shit_ sometimes," I whimper. A spark of anger flashes across his face before he quickly checks himself.

"Trust me when I tell you that I'm trying my best not to be a dick- well more than I am," he chuckles, hurriedly slumping down onto the ground.

"It's just...I need to focus on passing initiation before doing something like this." I reply, setting myself down so close to him you can practically say I'm sitting on him. He hums in response, running his fingers through my dark coal and burgundy curls. He stares at me, smirking, before pulling his face inches away from mine, causing me to sit on his lap.

"I'll wait as long as you want me to _Stiff_ , don't worry about initiation too much. You're doing excellent so far," he whispers, snaking his tattooed arms around my waist. I grin, returning the cute gesture by wrapping my arms slowly and cautiously around his inked neck. He sighs, obviously extremely relaxed and pleased with my responses. I burrow my face into his neck, the scent of his cologne overpowering my smell and taste buds once more. He hums again. As much as I can feel happiness and comfort jolt through every single synapse in my body; the Abnegation upbringing is scowling so horribly inside me. ' _We are not to hug, kiss and hold hands with our partners in public."_ Affection between two people is strictly frowned upon in Abnegation. Plus, the fear of him mocking my terribly inexperienced state is overwhelming me.

"It's alright Tris, stop overthinking," he purrs at my shivering self as he rests his chin on the top of my head, still playing with my hair. I nod cautiously, nuzzling as closely as I can into him. I feel his lips press onto my head, causing me to break into a smile. Words can't explain how terribly happy I feel in this moment. How free I feel.

As Eric holds me into him avariciously, surrounded by the forbidding and unfamiliar park, washed by the early morning waves of the retreating moonlight, I feel free. Protected. I feel like a normal teenager who has forgotten that she has to go back home only to literally fight her way up to success and comfort within Dauntless. Like a teenager- who's only issue is whether she can fully trust the man holding her to his broken and cold heart. I internally nod, afraid that if I move once more and voice my trust towards him; that he will break apart the most treasured and favorite moments of my life.

"Let's go," he mutters irritably. I roll my eyes and pull myself off him as slowly as possible. He chuckles, drawing me back in with his powerful hands- holding my waist tightly enough for him to move me around easily. I throw him a warm, questioning look before I see him sit up and whisper:

"Don't think that by the time you're ready that I'll just leave you like that. I'm a tease," he growls. I giggle, before rolling off his lap and jumping up excitedly.

"Well then tease, could you please lead me out of this place; we have a war to win." He smirks proudly, lifting himself up gracefully before stretching out his hand. Still afraid and cautious, I reach to grab his hand and we start walking out towards hopeful victory.


	14. Cake

**Hey everyone! Here's another chapter! It's quite long, so I hope you enjoy it. Fair warning, I MIGHT not update the story tomorrow or on thursday, since I have a history test and a biology test I need to start revising for. *sniff sniff* Anways, till next time! x**

"Alright everyone gather up," Eric barks as soon as we catch a glimpse of moving bodies with neon blue lights strapped to the center of their vests. Our walk towards the Dauntless-born was short; we held hands most of the way but as soon as we decided that we were too close to their eyes, we silently and sadly parted. Eric had forced me to look pissed off on purpose; so I waited for him to walk in front of me before crossing my arms and huffing as loudly as possible to alleviate the artificial tension around us.

The young Dauntless leader holds out our brightly lit, navy blue flag before shoving it quite forcefully into my arms for me to conceal it under my vest.

"The Stiff should be in charge of the flag until we find the best hiding stop for it, speaking of, any suggestions?" He raises his pierced eyebrow before shaking his head in disappointment. A tall Dauntless-born with a light-brown colored complexion and a goofy smile spoke out first.

"Why don't we just YOLO this shit and just go for it?" he laughs, but stops and looks down as soon as he comes into contact with Eric's irritated facial expression.

"Every. Single. Damn. Year there's always that one asshole with the marvelous plan of charging into attack with no _actual_ plan. I'm quite disappointed that this year that asshole is you Uriah, c'mon man I expected more from my best initiate," Eric snaps, now fully facing the crimson-faced handsome boy names Uriah. The buff, pretty-faced girl standing next to him elbows him in the stomach, giggling at his mortified expression. He looks down at her and returns the gesture gently, grinning.

"Quit it Marlene I was just kidding." It appears that everyone- including Eric- rolls their eyes at his comment. Marlene shrugs her shoulders as he attempts to lazily rest his arm around her. She ducks; twisting his arm and pushing him onto the ground. I smile at their body language. I turn slightly to eye Eric, only to catch him already staring longingly. I bob my head in affirmation slowly, carefully promising an unspoken future ahead of us.

After Marlene helps Uriah stand up, we resume with out plan making. Different voices project their different ideas, but non appealed to Eric's liking. Finally I swallowed my fear and opened my mouth.

"What if we split into three teams. Team A can be in charge of the flag- they can hide it over there in the far end of the park behind the trees," I gesture towards the area most distant from our standing position. Looking around, I see everyone staring tentatively waiting for me to continue. I clear my throat. "Team B can cover the perimeters of the park in attempt of trying to find Four's team. Since there's a lot of land to cover Team B should be the largest. And finally, Team C can closely follow Team B as they are to seek for the enemy's flag." I bite my lip as anticipation creeps up in me, as I wait for my teammates to process the information.

"I saw Four's group wave the flag around less than a few minutes before you came around the carousel towards the bell tower," a girl with half-shaved blonde hair chirps in.

Eric makes a face before clapping his hands together.

"It's settled. Excellent plan initiate." I bow my head respectively as I hear the grunts of agreement move around the group. It takes us ten minutes to allocate each person to their position. Me, being the smallest and the lightest "to throw around if necessary" (Uriah's words not mine!) I was positioned in Team C. My aspiration for the war was to get a hold of the enemy's treasured flag. The girl from before- Lynn and Eric (what a surprise) are with me. When we are all ready, Eric signals us before blowing his whistle to alert that we are ready and coming for them. _It's time._

Clutching the huge weapon as tightly as I can, I jog towards the bell tower. Keeping my breathing rate steady, I focus on Uriah's elegantly rough jog as he leads Team B towards the spotted enemy hideout.

"I can see 'em!" Peter.

"Light em' up then!" Four.

"What?" Al.

Seconds later, I see Edward lean above a stack of artificial hay as he hurls blazing red flares into our direction. I feel Eric's gloved hand pushing me slightly to the side as we continue running towards the bell tower. Up to this point, teams have clashed. Multicolored and vibrant paint splashes all around us. When someone gets shot, they grunt in pain before recoiling onto the ground. Bloodcurdling screeches are heard from the person who got shot multiple times by the one and only- Peter- who stood over them like a merciless God, pretending to be something he isn't. I can't let this go. He keeps on shooting and shooting the girl; whom I recognize as Marlene.

"Stop you bastard I'm down!" She cries out, fumbling for her gun, which is kicked away from her reach by the asshole with the dark glint in his eyes.

"Not down enough," he cackles, shooting her again. She winces in pain. I stop running nearly caught by Eric's body clashing into mine. He stares at me, utterly confused.

"What the hell we need to keep on moving," Lynn yells before pulling her gun out and striking someone behind me. I shake my head.

"Peter isn't playing fair, give me two seconds to deal with him and we're good to go." Lynn nods while Eric shakes his head as he glares into Peter's direction. "I'll cover you," he declares pulling his gun, ready for action. We begin sprinting through the mess of groaning bodies and even more groaning guns. As I reach the sickening situation, I jump onto Peter- shoving him into the ground. He cries out in pain as he begins attempting to tackle me. Using the paintball gun's butt, I force it into his nose. _Crack!_ He yells in pain as tears stream down his eyes, mixing with the blood now pouring through his nose. I look up to Eric, noticing that he is squatting next to me, grinning proudly. Without looking away, I stand up, helping the leader as well, before accelerating into a rapid sprint.

"Let's go!"

Upon reaching the abandoned and extremely-feeble looking bell-tower; I stop short, and pant as I wait for my two teammates who got delayed by Four and Edward's surprise attacks out of nowhere. Lynn catches up with me first- then Eric. We eye the rickety stairs to the top attentively before sharing an anxious look with each other.

"I think that you should go up by yourself," Eric declares, pointing at me. I widen my eyes, biting my lip, afraid of who is waiting for my arrival up there.

"I agree Tris. You're the smallest one and there's less of a chance that the stairs going up are going to crumble under you," agrees Lynn, smirking. I dip my head before staring at Eric. There was a sense of pride in his eyes. That spark hasn't left him ever since I shared my plan with the rest of the team. _Why though? It wasn't such a genius plan- it's common sense!_

"Go, we'll cover you." I smile before twisting around and entering into yet again- the unknown.

The trip to the roof was exhausting, but not as exhausting as jogging until your legs give out if you piss Eric off. So I'm okay with that. Assembling my attacking position, I barge open the annex door; only to meet face to face with the person I least want to see in front of me.

Christina.

Her eyes widen as we stare at each other, possessed by the fear of our future actions.

"It's just a game," she mutters. "If you win and knock me out I won't be mad after."

"Likewise," I stutter, aiming the gun into her stomach. Shades of purple and blue cover her black coat as she stumbles back. I hide behind a battered cupboard as I hear the shrieks of four approaching shots coming my way. Without revealing my body, I nudge the gun and blindly aimed towards the position in which Christina had been before. For the next few seconds we waste all of our ammunition. As soon as I hear the confused clicks of the empty triggers I sigh in relief and agitation. _This is bad._

Forcing a battling cry, I emerge from my hiding spot, full-on charging towards Christina. Tackling her, I begin punching her with all my might. Covering her bruised and bloody face, she pulls me off of her by death-gripping my waist and turning our positions around. She begins attacking my face with her fists while I cling onto her hair. Then I do the unexpected. I force my knee to kick her as forcefully as I can in her groin area. She lets out an atrocious shriek as tears begin to emerge from her eyes. She begins crying as she clutches her lower part, yelling in pain. She begins gasping for air as the shock hits her. I turn her over and cradle her, trying so hard to lull her away from the horror I just put her through.

"Go Tris," she manages to spit out. No hatred filtered through her speech, just unpredictable agony. Laying her down as carefully as I can, I reach to tug onto the yellow flag before waving it in the air. My team begins gathering under me, raising their hands up as if worshiping a God. _But it was just me. The Stiff no one thought would make it up till today. The Stiff that everyone mocked and the Stiff who touched a part of a Dauntless leader no one even knew he carried within him._ But I don't care that Uriah was chanting my name. I don't care that Lynn is bouncing up and down like a mad-woman. All I care about is that Eric is literally looking up at me, beaming, as his infectious laughter shakes his muscly body. I see him stiffen as he realizes that he is still in public. And immediately, he's back to being not-so-funny-asshole-leader Eric. Nonetheless he's still holding me in his arms, and I still have my arms wrapped around his tattooed neck. A new spark stems around my heart. I no longer am afraid.

Just as I begin propping Christina up, Eric and Marlene pop up at the entrance.

"I'll take it from here Tris. Oh, and by the way, thanks for helping me out with the Peter thing. That was really brave of you," she whispers, carefully lifting up Christina, before limping away and down the stairs. Now it's just me and him. I nonchalantly wait for the fear to come seeping back into me just as it always comes when I have these little moments with him. But it never arrives. When we hear the girls' footsteps a safe distance away from us, I run into his outstretched arms. His fingers find my hair again, as he coos his pride into my ear. Pulling him closer, I close my eyes to try and memorize the feeling of being in his arms. Because who knows how far away the next time is?

Lifting my chin up, Eric stares into me, his gaze lingering on every single part of my face.

"You're gorgeous Tris. Every single part of you," he purrs. I giggle, rolling my eyes as I lean in to kiss his nose. _Wait did I just do that?_ He doesn't seem to notice my shock as he smirks, lowering himself down to rest his forehead on mine.

"God you're going to be the death of me Stiff," he moans, grabbing my ass as I yelp in shock. I look up and study his features. The features of the man who pulled my heart out of my chest in a matter of a few weeks.

Before he could proceed with his actions, we hear someone beginning to sprint up the stairs. Growling, he pulls away quickly, backing up a few steps. His face was fierce and you could tell he is about to blow up on the person who had interrupted us. Uriah pops his head, grinning stupidly.

"Well done Trissy! Also, Eric, when are we leaving? I'm tired and I told Zeke to save me some chocolate cake since I obviously knew that I would win today, hehehe. But I have a feeling that..." he stops rambling as his grin is wiped off by Eric's piercing stare.

"Get. The. FUCK out of here before I throw you over the roof myself. Don't make me inject you with the sleep serum again," Eric yells, straightening his posture as he points menacingly at a shrinking Uriah. He gulps.

"Yeahh sure, haha, it's alright. Sorry for bothering you. Didn't know you were here telling off the reason of our victory," he grumbles pointing at me before shuffling out.

Eric sighs before walking up to me and kissing my forehead.

"Let's go before someone else interrupts an even more intimate _situation,_ " he smirks, standing to the side as he allows me to pass on first. Turning around and meeting his hungry stare, I stick my tongue out at him before quickly jogging down the stairs to check on Christina's horrid situation.


	15. Fault

**Hii again! I feel like I'm just not into this anymore, which is technically so not true, but it's the tiredness talking for me. Reviews are always welcome. Anyways, I hope you enjoy this chapter. There's a lot going on x**

The whole compound can hear Christina's pained and panic-stricken shrieks voicing her agony. The agony that I put her through not so long ago. I noiselessly pace back and forth as I await for the doctors to come out of the operating room in which they held hostage a screeching banshee. I can feel sweat sticking my already thin shirt to my back as I try to calm myself down. _It's alright, you know Christina overreacts. Maybe she's just got her cramps. Breathe._

 _"_ Tris." I flinch as a warm hand places itself on my shoulder. Twisting around, I meet the eyes of a panicked Will. He eyes me carefully, before pulling me into a hug.

"Four told us what happened. It's not your fault; I'm sure she isn't mad at you. After all, something was bound to happen." He whispers before I break apart, bobbing my head slowly.

"Go celebrate your victory. You deserve it. I'll come find you when she's good enough for us to visit," he says, squeezing my bruised shoulder once more. This time, I bob my head in the negative.

"No it's fine. I want to be here. I'll stay here until I know she's okay. I'll pass by the Pit later. After all, you know Dauntless, they're probably going to extend the celebration into an all-nighter." Will shakes with a soft laughter along with me- but neither of us feel like laughing.

 _Creak!_ Startled, we both turn to face the now widely open infirmary entrance; where a young nurse was standing and staring at us; biting her lip anxiously. Closing the door behind her, she paces towards us, shaking her head.

"She has a severely fractured pelvic bone. We've given her Erudite's fastest and best healing serum to mend the tiny cracks created in her bone marrow by the clash."

"Will she be able to continue with initiation training?" I blurt out just before Will; who nods in affirmation. The nurse exhales nervously before smiling sweetly.

"Fortunately, she will. Of coarse not from tomorrow. I've talked to Max, who seems to be quite disappointed that one of his most improving initiates has suffered such a trauma. You will be continuing with your training; whilst she recuperates under the healing serums- which will do its magic for about a day. So she'll be up in no time at all."

I sigh, relieved.

"May we see her?" Will presses. The nurse, whom I notice has a name badge with the name 'Sara' written in delicate black handwriting, seems to stop and think for a second, before nodding slowly.

"Yes, but only for a couple of minutes. Be aware that we've given her a large amount of healing serum, so she might sound or say things that seem, somewhat strange and out of her character. That's only for some time, it's her body's way with dealing with the numbness." And with that, she hurriedly paces back inside, with us following at her heels.

The infirmary room is just as I remember it. A large, dark and somewhat dirty chamber with hospital equipment and beds decorating it. The flickering white light shines onto Christina's unnaturally white face, as she hums and looks around, playing with the white covers she's tucked in.

Her normally large eyes widen in horror as her gaze hits me. She jolts up, the numbness making her unaware of the sudden movement and pain, her body is hiding from her consciousness. She narrows her eyes, pointing a shaking finger at me.

"You! You put me here. It's all your fault." She whines, smacking her palms onto the mattress, like a child during a tantrum. I move towards her, classing her actions as her being under the pressure of the drugs she's in taken.

"No Chris, calm down you're going to hurt yourself even more. I'm so sorry for what happened out there. I don't know what I would do if I found out that you wouldn't be able to continue on with training," I whisper, forcefully holding back the tears threatening to emerge. Christina was not taking it though.

"You're so full of shit Tris. You're such a _Stiff._ Newsflash: you're not in Abnegation anymore, so quit acting like the selfless little girl who cares about me- her best friend- who's done everything for you! I mean look at you for fuck's sake. If it weren't for _me_ to force you out of your silly little bubble, you wouldn't look as Dauntless as you _barely_ do now," she spits out, her voice dripping with venom and enviousness. Before I can pounce onto her and pull out her vocal cords for calling me so many things- I feel Will tucking me away towards the exit.

"I think you should leave Tris, go relax in the Pit, I'll try to calm her down. You know that she doesn't mean it," he mutters, his blue eyes filled of pity. I laugh spitefully.

"As if, she means every single word and you know it." And with that, I leave the infirmary room.

"Tris wait!" I turn around angrily to face Sara, the nurse from before. I huff out irritably before crossing my arms across my chest.

"Could you pass this on to Eric in the Pit? It's a note informing him about Christina. And since I'm on duty and there's a celebration going on; I can't leave my post," she whispers pressing a crumbled note in my palm. I feel my features gradually soften as I sigh a quiet 'yes' before turning away towards my destination.

Right before reaching the Chasm, I collide into a familiar body frame. Rolling my eyes, I back up a few steps before balling my fists into ready punches.

"What do you want Peter? Aren't you happy with the amount of pain I've given you?" He chuckles malevolently before leaning against the stone wall. The dimness in the corridor in which we are standing still allows me to see his nervous expression and the sweat formulating on his forehead. He clears his throat before continuing.

"I uh, I just wanted to congratulate you. For kicking my ass tonight." I am taken aback by his honesty. After all he's Candor, it comes out naturally even if he wants it to or not. I pause- waiting for him to yell out a rude remark or to shove me or to just do anything that might seem like what he might do.

"Are you drunk?" I mutter, narrowing my eyes suspiciously. He chuckles once more before shaking his head vigilantly.

"I was just thinking that we shouldn't judge a book by it's cover. I mean yeah; you're always going to be a Stiff to me, but are you actually a Stiff? Don't think so. And besides, I can see us being a great team in the future," he pauses before strutting past me and my shocked expression.

Brushing this strange encounter off, I charge towards the vibrating with music and bass Pit. Just like the previous party, there are people everywhere. Dancing, drinking and shouting over the extremely loud music. It was all the same; except for a different matter. This time- it's to celebrate the Capture The Flag victory. _My victory._ I skim through the crowd, laughing at the sight of Al trying to seduce Marlene, who got saved by Uriah pulling her up for a dance. As per usual; my heartbeat quickens as the butterflies begin battling inside my guts.

Hovering over a couple of shot glasses placed on the bar- sat Eric who is puffing on a cigarette. He is laughing and busily talking to another man; who's back faces my direction. Scrunching my nose at the sight of Eric smoking, I quickly make my way towards him- hoping that he is in fact- in a good mood.

By the time I arrive next to him, the man he was talking to him before had disappeared. Seizing my chance, I step up towards him, smiling nervously. He looks up from his fifth shot glass, his grey eyes fixated onto my plastered smile, before narrowing his eyes as he barks in his irritated question.

"What?" Immediately, my smile falters as the butterflies quieten down. However, my heartbeat is still racing.

"Um, a nurse called Sara told me to give you this," I yell over the music, handing him the crumbled sheet of paper. He rolls his eyes, snatching it from my fingers, inspecting the black handwriting and its intentions. Looking up at me, he takes his lighter as he begins to burn the note with it's motives.

"Did you read it?" He shoots up suspiciously, any happiness gone from his face. Long gone. Afraid, I shake my head rapidly. He softens up before turning towards the bartender as he requests for another two shots. When the bartender places them in front of a vexed Eric, he turns to stare at me before beckoning me to join him.

"Sit," he orders, pulling an empty chair close to him. Instinctively, I obey, folding my palms over my thighs. He takes the shot glasses, holding some kinda of transparent liquid inside them, handing one to me.

"Tequila," he murmurs in my ear, causing the hairs on my neck to rise. _As if that would ring any bells to the former Abnegation._

"Raise the shot glass and at the count of three, down it. After that, bite this lemon," he hands me a ripe slice of lemon in my other hand. Nodding sheepishly, I go over the steps in my mind once more.

"Ready? Three...two...one...go!" I shut my eyes and hold my breath as I drink up the fluid. Reflexively coughing at the burning sensation travelling down my throat, I pop the lemon in my mouth, cringing at its sour taste. I hear Eric laugh as he stares deeply at my disgusted expression.

"Don't worry. Soon, you're going to be a pro," he says, latching onto my waist but sadly pulling away too soon. Before I can ask about his sudden mood swings, I feel an unfamiliar arm snake around my shoulders as I feel someone's body rest onto my side. I hold in the flinch, turning my gaze towards the unseen before face of the man from before. He looks down at me, taking my features in before laughing out loud- causing my whole to tremble.

"Who is this stunning lady? I haven't seen her walking around here?" His arm around my tightens as I bite my tongue to hold down the shriek of pain coming from the shrill force and pressure rested onto my new bruises. Another fear engulfs me. This new persona, whom I haven't met before, has his arm around me, and is treating me like an arm rest. His body is too close to mine, I feel myself suffocating under the stress and anxiety he has put me through. I fearfully turn to stare at Eric, praying that he will pull me out of his fellow friend's grasp and hold me in his own. Instead, I meet the menacing glare directed towards his friend, not me. He bares his teeth in the most animalistic way as he can before squeezing the empty shot glass in his palm. Even over the music, the crack of glass can be perfectly heard. I can see droplets of blood but that doesn't take Eric's eyes off of his target, who nonchalantly blabbers away about who knows what. Jolting up and tucking me out of his friend's reach, Eric shoves me out of the way before grabbing a fistful of shirt and spitting out...

"That's because you work at the fence, Rick. Now, quit bothering _my_ initiate and move on with your intoxication. It's gunna take a while for you to forget that you're a _guard."_ He glowers, stepping back to stand next to my shivering hollow shell. Used to this kind of behavior coming from the young leader, Rick rolls his eyes before mightily patting his companion's back, now turning his attention towards the bartender as he orders himself another three shots as he lights up another cigarette.

Stroking my lower back, Eric turns to face me, sighing slowly.

"I think you should leave Tris, go rest. He's harmless, you know." Forcing myself out of his reach, I angrily scowl at his words, feeling the salt tear open the newly made from Christina wound.

" _You know,_ I heard that same expression not too long ago. I thought that even after tonight you would at least _try_ to change or calm down your mood swings. And stop brushing off everything as nonchalantly as you do," I growl, feeling the tears begin seeping down my cheeks. He tries once more to walk towards him, but I move back.

"Don't touch me Eric. Until you don't realize what you actually feel towards me, I don't want to talk to you." I turn to walk away, now really feeling my eyes welling.

"Oh and by the way," I yell turning once more to meet Eric's hurt glare. "You don't look as hot as you usually do when you smoke." I storm away and towards the door.

"Trissy!" I hear Uriah's innocent and content voice echoing over the music as I turn to stare at his approaching physique. At this point I can't take it any more. I burst into a loud sob, startling him. Sprinting out of the Pit, with Uriah following closely behind me, I can still feel Eric's burning pained expression drilling holes through my aching heart.


	16. Affection

**Hello! This turned out longer than expected, merely because I didn't know when the appropriate time was to end it. I hope you're still enjoying yourself. This chapter could have been broken down into a few smaller ones, but I decided to put all the emotional parts together so we could progress with her initiation a little bit faster. As always, reviews are always welcome! It makes me glad when you guys leave a comment on what part you liked or which part frustrated you haha. Anyways here!**

"Tris wait up, the dauntless cake is holding me back, I can't keep up with you! Tell me what's wrong," Uriah yells somewhere from behind me, but that doesn't calm my sobbing down, or my dashing towards the rooftops. Suddenly, I feel the weight of his body pull me towards the ground as he jumps on top of me to halt my actions. I shut my eyes and bite the inside of my cheek to stop the pain from transforming into a shriek of pain and hopelessness. I look around at anything but Uriah's panic-stricken face, only to realize that we are now laying on the side of the Chasm, dangerously close to the edge. Pulling me into a sitting position, Uriah forcefully grabs my chin, causing me to stare deeply into his huge brown eyes as he purses his lips worriedly.

"What the hell is going on Tris?! _Talk_ to me," he yells, loosening his grip and pulling me into his buff chest. I open my mouth to begin my rant but then I feel a piercing pain drill through my lungs. I gasp for air, asphyxiating in the horrors of the agonizing pain. Slamming my fists onto the stony floor, I begin sensing the blood leave my face as I try to gasp for air. The sobbing intensifies, drowning any music that has escaped from the Pit and into the surrounding setting of the Chasm.

"Shit...I can't...breathe," I wail, feeling the fallen, thick tears drain through my shirt. Uriah's eyes widen as he begins staggering and praying that a solution just pops into his brain. Finally, something must have hit him, because he slams his sweaty palm over my nose and mouth, completely blocking my attempts for survival. I squeeze my eyes closed as I try to focus on his hand over my mouth and not onto the punching ache that has stopped me from breathing. Before I know, I am back to panting heavily, as I listen to Uriah's calming coos telling me that I'm brave and that I can beat anything.

I rest my head onto his shoulder as I follow his slow rhythmic breaths, doing the same. He waits patiently, until I can finally tell him what's happening. Seeming that he won't leave me alone until I do tell him, I inhale once more, treasuring the sweetness of having granted the arts of inhalation again, and sighing before my raspy voice tears open the silence.

"Everyone is underestimating me. I just lost my only friends to envy, and my leader is being an ass," I begin crying once more, giving up. Looking up, I meet Uriah's humorously offended glare.

"Trissy...no one sane is underestimating you. And what the hell? I heard about the shit with Christina, and trust me, if she's jealous that you won CTF then she isn't a real friend. Real friends are proud with each other's victories, just like I'm super proud with you," he laughs shuffling my hair. "But seriously, if you say that you don't have friends in front of me one more time, I will personally ship you back to Abnegation," he growls happily, breaking me into a smile.

I nod my head, relieved that someone is here for me. Someone real. But my stomach drops as he asks me the one and only thing that I've accidentally blurted out.

"What's up with you and Eric then?" He wriggles his eyebrows as I curse inwardly at my vulnerable state.

"If I knew..." I mutter, avoiding his both excited and freaked out facial expression.

"You've fallen for Eric? Like Eric as in the Eric that goes around scaring people only by glancing at them? Like the Eric that leads this faction? Dauntless leader Eric?" He continues until I slap him playfully on his back. He pouts, scooting a few inches away from me, like a puppy. I laugh as I shake my head.

"I think so...don't look at me like that! Yeah, I think I have...fallen for him...no I can't I hate opening up, no offence," I cry out, attempting to stand up before his hand strenuously pulls me back down next to him.

"You're doing fine...I want you to open up to me. It's going to make you feel so much better when you know that there's someone out there who cares a lot for you," he whispers, patting my back. I nod carefully, before letting my legs dangle over the Chasm as I listen to Uriah's soothing voice over the powerful waters.

"Look, to be honest, the guy's cool. He was in the same initiation class with my brother Zeke and Four- your trainer. Them three were best friends, until rivalry for ranks hit them. Eric strove for more than just chill talks. He's always wanted to be a leader. Four was the same, only with him it came out naturally. He was able to balance his training and social life unlike Eric, who chose to completely cut out anyone apart from Rick, who was basically his lackey and who was bound to fail. In the end, Four scored first place pushing Eric to the second rank. But something happened, which caused Four to give up the leadership position, automatically handing it to Eric. Since then, they haven't been very civil with each other- and whenever they do have to do things with each other; they treat it like it's a competition or something...oh my I'm sorry if I just went off topic...I'm just trying to let you know that he ain't a bad guy. He's just always been focused _only_ on surpassing Four and gaining respect, so it's probably freaky and weird for him to actually care about someone other than himself," he finishes, waving his finger at me. I narrow my eyes.

"Let's ignore the fact that I just openly told you about my feelings towards him, but what makes you think that he cares about me?"

Uriah gives out a warm laugh before ruffling my hair once more.

"You're so silly Trissy, are you oblivious to the way he looks at you? Or vice versa? I mean I may be a person who tends to daydream often, but today on the way to the war game zone, in the train, I don't know if you realized, but he kept on glancing at you. And every single time he would; his features would soften...haha that's until someone around him asked him something and then he just turned into good old cold Eric," he rolls his eyes as he chuckles at my shocked expression.

"I'm pretty sure he's got like thousands of hot dauntless chicks all over him, there's no way a leader like him could ever like a Stiff like me," I spit out painfully.

"You're right about the thousands of 'hot dauntless chicks' being 'all over him', and I know that he's hooked up with a few here and there, but I've never seen him look at them the way he looks at you. _Ex-Stiff_ mind you," he cracks his knuckles as I go over his words.

"What do I do then?" I squeak out. Uriah moves a few more inches away from me, before putting his hands in the air innocently.

" Sorry not sorry, I may or may not have eavesdropped a bit before I barged into the tower room," he whispers before breaking into a proud laugh, which makes his whole core shake beside me.

"URIAH!" I cry out in disbelief and embarrassment before punching his shoulder not too gently.

"I'm sorry, I just wanted to see how he would congratulate the holder of the flag, but then when I got closer and I saw you guys hugging I was like 'oh okay then'. I pretended to stomp up the stairs. Mind you, it was soo hard not to burst into tears of laughter when I saw you separate. So yeah back to your question again hahaha, I think that he's trying to overcome his ego so he can take you in. I've never seen him in a relationship, so this is all a new experience for him just as it is to you. Give him some time, he'll come around. Continue seducing him though, you need him ALL OVER YOU," he yells wriggling his eyebrows once more. Cringing at his words, I pull him into a tight hug, refusing to let him go.

"Thanks Uri, with all this stress, I tend to forget that we're sixteen year olds and that boy drama is bound to happen." He laughs in my hair, hugging me even tighter.

"I'm always going to be here for you Trissy. Ever since I saw you in the train I just knew that you will become one of the closest people to my heart in some way or another," his muffled voice cracking, making us both laugh. After engaging into small-talk, we hear Marlene and Lynn running our way hurriedly. They both drop on either side of us, Marlene beside Uriah and Lynn beside me.

"Why did you guys leave? One moment Uriah was dancing like crazy and then a second later you just ran out of the Pit like your life depended on it," remarks Marlene, raising an eyebrow skeptically. Uriah shrugs as I bite my tongue, afraid that he's going to blurt something out accidentally.

"Nah I saw Tris leave, so I followed her till here so I could congratulate her personally for the victory, and then we just began talking and just getting to know each other." He beams, glancing at me as I slowly nod, pushing out a weak smile.

"You look like you've been crying," declares Lynn, narrowing her eyes as she fiddles with her pocket knife. I shake my head too quickly.

"Yeah...I mean no...I haven't cried. It's just I...had a drink thrown at me in the Pit, so I left to go change, but then I ran into...Uriah," I counter, pulling onto my soaked shirt. _Guess who isn't Candor?_

"Anyway, I just wanted to say thanks again for the Peter attack. That prick is going to be taught a few lessons by me sooner or later," Marlene mutters, casting a dark look my way, making me shudder. A flashback of my recent encounter with Peter shoots through my mind, confusing me even more.

"Tris, do you mind if we leave you hanging here for literally sixty seconds? I swear we'll be back, we just need to discuss some future plans concerning our little clique," Uriah blurts out, winking at Lynn as he gently pulls Marlene up onto her feet, before ushering them out and a safe distance away from my earshot. I look down, mesmerized by the clashes of the loud waves below me. The Chasm is so deep, that the abyss transforms into a slur of darkness, where no light can reach it. But if you squint your eyes, you can see the cloak of liquid overcoming one another, their clashes of contact echoing through the cave until it reaches me. I don't even realize that Uriah, Lynn and Marlene are back to their sitting positions beside me. I jump slightly before clearing my throat and sending them all a warm smile.

"As the leader of this trio," Uriah declares loudly, huffing his chest outwards, earning a chuckle from us all," I hereby pronounce you part of the trio, which perfectly becomes a quartet. We believe in ordinary acts of bravery..."

"Shut up," Lynn rolls her eyes before leaning over me and shoving the proud boy beside me. He laughs before swinging his head to the side and regaining his posture.

"Naw but for real Tris, you're one of us. Even though we literally met you a few hours ago, we know that you're so much better than any transfer we've ever had. And I want you to stop sucking up to Christina. She's a bitch if I've ever seen one. Trust me when I tell you that she's a bad person. From now on, we're going to eat together in the cafeteria and we're going to meet up and teach you what real fun around here is," he finishes off, winking horribly, but still earning a round of applause from the us.

We laugh for what feels like hours until a sharp pain in my head causes me to groan loudly, pausing any form of talk or entertainment happening. The trio all look at me nervously, Lynn even goes as far as gently resting her hand on my bruised shoulder. There is a ringing in my head, causing me to 'yelp' lightly as I clutch my head.

"Did you drink anything," asks Lynn, pushing me down so I can rest on my back. I nod, grunting at the abrupt intensity of the ringing noise.

"Did you eat anything before that?" I shake my head in the negative. _Sigh._

"She's probably had one of them nasty shots which make your head spin, remember?" I hear Marlene's soft, distinct voice over the drilling noise. I see Lynn give her a quick nod whilst Uriah shakes his head, cringing.

"Hang in there Trissy, we'll go get you some pills and water. Mar, go get the painkillers from the infirmary. No not you Lynn, because Christina's still in there. Come with me so we can bring her some water and a cookie or something. Or do you want her to stay with you?"

"I'm really... _ow_...fine guys...I can wait by myself...ok please hurry up," I beg, instantly regretting throwing my blind trust at Eric with alcohol. Hastily standing up, they shoot out of the corridor and in a split second, they're gone. I stagger up, wincing at the pressure change. Carefully, I walk myself towards the wall so I can be as far away from the edge of the abyss as possible, before slumping to my side, slightly scraping me bare elbow.

"Tris?"

I freeze.

Looking up to glare at his hovering-over-me, towering body, I scoff, deeply regretting it right after as the sudden pain jolts into my head once more. He sighs, before squatting beside me to squeeze my shoulder. I shrug it off, still angry and hurt about his treatment towards me before.

"No. Go away. I don't need you here," I whine.

"Careful Tris, don't forget that I'm still your leader," he whispers grimly. I eye him thoroughly.

"Okay, so is kissing your initiate and telling them to keep up with your mood swings a leader thing to do? Does it happen often?" I mutter back, narrowing my eyes, but feeling my spirits light up a bit more after I catch his eyes silently giving up and agreeing to my point raised. Sighing, he pulls me up and rests my ragged form onto him. Too tired to fight back, I hold onto his arm for support as he's pulling me up. He brings my chin up, inspecting my face from up close once more.

"Did the tequila finally hit you?" He chuckles, gripping onto my waist as he picks me up bridal-style. Drowsy, I hum a soft 'yeah', resting my head onto his broad chest as he begins taking us up stairs I have yet to explore. Realization hits me as we begin passing apartment doors. _Is he taking me to his place?_

The Abnegation upbringing begins to scowl at me. I begin stirring restlessly in his arms as I try to escape.

"Eric, can you please take me back to the dorms?" I squeak out. He shakes his head before pulling me closer to him as he murmurs in my ear.

"Don't be afraid Tris. I would never, ever hurt you. Plus, Will is going to be with Christina and the last time I saw Peter, Molly and Drew, they were vomiting their asses off after playing a tequila game with some Dauntless members," he smirks. "And judging by the way you look, you seem like you're going to follow their steps if we don't fix you up sooner. You need to sleep."

"Okay, but first, we talk."

He chuckles.

His footsteps slow down before he halts in front a large, black door. _Apartment 104. On the Leadership Floor._

Kicking the door open with his boot and closing it with his behind, he carefully places me on the long, dark blue couch situated in the center of his surprisingly extremely neat living room. Sitting down beside me, he suddenly jolts up before muttering: "Shit, sorry, I forgot your pills. I'll be back. Don't fall asleep yet."

"No don't go," I whine, pulling back his hand. He chuckles.

"Count to ten and I'll be back," he laughs before vanishing towards his kitchenette. I sigh as I begin counting. _One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine..."_

"Back!" He exclaims as he slumps back down beside me, handing me two small, white pills and a glass of cold water. I take them in, handing him back the cup, before he takes a sip with his two pills. After that he puts the cup down onto the glass coffee table in front of us before settling closer towards me.

"So what do you want to know?" He asks, raising his pierced eyebrow.

"Everything," I whisper, huddling closer to him. He shifts uncomfortably before sighing deeply.

"Look...Tris. I told you that this is going to be hard for me. Yeah, I've been with girls here and there, but I've never felt...or acted like this. Like the way I treat you. I'm sorry about what happened before down at the Pit. Trust me when I keep on telling you that I am trying. I just didn't know whether I should pull you towards me or I should waver you away, just like I would with any initiate trying to talk to me outside training. And then Rick putting his arm around you...that just made matters worse," He clenches his jaw as he fixates his stare right ahead, obviously replaying the whole scene.

"Oh my, is big bad Eric jealous?" I chuckle as he sends me his trademark smirk before shrugging.

I trace the maze-like patterns on his forearm before speaking up.

"You're right, I was well more than upset after your shitty treatment towards me. I don't blame you though. It was just the frustration of having them little moments outside the compound...and then seeing you back to your cold and harsh state probably just triggered me. Anyway, I met Uriah outside by the Chasm, I was hysterical and he was there for me. I told him about the Christina thing- where she called me all types of things before completely just turning me into a bad person..." I continue as I feel Eric stiffen, his face stone cold as his eyes narrow when I mention Christina. "And I may or may not have accidentally told him that I like you." I feel my cheeks redden as I try and bury my face from his sight. He laughs lightly, patiently waiting for me to calm down before I can continue.

"He told me about you and Four back when you were initiates. About how you gave up everything just so you could be where you're at today. He also told me that it's probably new for you to _feel_ this way, especially since you've been so hard on yourself and everyone around you these few years. But I don't care. It's in the past, and I'd like to think that I live in the present," I whisper softly, my voice urging him to stop being so tense under my touch.

"Damn Uriah knowing everything that's happening around him," he mutters, rolling his eyes as he rests his face on my head. A sudden jolt of fear oozes within me, making me jump and startling us both. Eric sends me a look of confusion.

"What am I doing? I'm sharing my feelings with my trainer. _My leader._ This looks so wrong, no wonder you're so tense around me, especially in public," I cry out weakly as I attempt to move a bit further away from his warm touch. But he grabs me harshly and pulls me back.

"No one's going to know..." He says evenly, eyeing me intensively. I shudder under his glare.

"I don't think...I don't think I'm ready for this Eric...I told you..." My words stinging my tongue as I let them seep out.

"Pff, you fucking think I am? I don't do this type of shit Tris. I _never_ have. Even if I ever wanted to back in time, I've always stopped myself before it was too late. Unfortunately it's too late right now..." We stare at each other for one long moment, before I pull my arms around his neck, breathing in his scent. He presses his hands onto my back, his face in my hair as he too, takes me in.

At some point after that, fatigue hits me hard like a train and before I realize it, I'm fast asleep.

I wake up to the feeling of something moving under me. Still very tired and drowsy after the long night, I open my eyes slowly as they regulate with the brightness around me. Shifting up, I take in the unfamiliar setting around me. _Am I still in Eric's living room? Where is he?_ Just as the thought ran through my head I feel his hand find my waist, before pulling me back into him on the couch. I stare at him, only to realize that he is still fast asleep, softly snoring as he turns his head to the side. Trying hard no to let out a bark of laughter, I make myself comfortable onto his chest as I accept Sleep's invitation once more.


	17. Divergence

**Hii! Exam period is soon...which means that I won't be as active as I used to. But I'll still try to update as frequently as possible. I'm thinking maybe once a week the least. Anyway, thank you so much to the people who have left reviews, they really do inspire me to keep on going and push myself harder. I hope you like this chapter, things are getting tricky lol**

 **Enjoy~**

"Tris"

His deep and raspy voice pulls me out of my dreamless slumber. Carefully opening my eyes, I look up; only to realize that I have pushed myself out of his grasp and am now currently laying on his shirtless stomach. Groaning sleepily, I feel my whole face go strawberry red. _This is the first time I have ever been so intimate with a man. What do I do?_ I prop myself onto my elbows, only to hear him wince.

"What?" He shifts under me uncomfortably.

"You might want to move your elbow," his voice cracks as he eyes me shakily. I look down and to me realization I see that I have been resting my elbow _innocently_ on his crotch area. I gasp and quickly pull away, feeling the damn blush creep up onto my face once again. I turn away from him as the blood rushes around my face. Pouting my bottom lip slightly, I try to blow air onto my face to calm my reaction down.

"Eric, I didn't mean to..." I stammer, completely forgetting how to speak.

"Tris" I feel his hand rest on my shoulder but I flinch, still not completely over the mortifying situation.

"No no, I'm sorry, I really didn't mean to hurt you," I cry out, but looking back down, I see a bulge in his area that didn't seem like it was there before. I cry out, afraid and in fear that I had done something wrong. Back in Abnegation, when I went to school, we barely had any sexual education, and from what I recall, this reaction was supposed to be a good thing. _But it doesn't seem right to me..._

I turn my head once more and fixate my ashen stare at anything but him, clearing my throat, hoping that I can swallow the guilt and embarrassment I had just put us both through. He laughs. Reaching for my shoulder once more, I scoot away from his touch, wishing that I was dead.

 _"Tris."_ His firm voice makes me body tremble as I shift my still-crimson face towards his amused expression. He seems nonchalant, like it's normal for things like this to happen.

"I'm so sor..." I try once more but am interrupted by his wavering hand telling me to be quiet. I allow myself to lower my eyes over his body, but deeply regret it when I notice that the situation has not gone away. I groan shamefully, before I look up at the ceiling. He barks out a sleepy laugh before grabbing my chin and pulling me towards him.

"Stop being sorry. It's not your fault I can't control it,"he rumbles, causing a small reaction of butterflies to wake up inside my stomach. I nod timidly, still not ready to meet his piercing stare. He sighs before letting me go and standing up from the dark sofa.

"I'm going to shower, if you want you can take one after me," he calls out as he begins walking towards the bathroom corridor.

"I have...no clothes to change into Eric," I squeak out, trying my best not to look at his perfectly structured muscle exterior shielding his bare back. He turns to meet my eyes, his eyes darker than ever as he smirks at my turmoil.

"Hang on," he sighs before disappearing into the corridor. I hear him mutter to himself as the bang of a drawer echoes around me. When he appears, I see him hold some kind of black fabric before he throws it at me.

"This is the smallest and tightest shirt I have. You can keep it," he smirks again and not long after I hear the bathroom door shut close as the shower begins spilling water. Involuntarily, I pick the shirt up to my nose as I take a whiff of his scent. His cologne. Him. I don't know how much time I spent doing that, but I get pulled away from my daydream as I hear his door open again. Passing the living room in which I am currently sitting in, he looks at me, a smug look worn on his face. I feel my breath hitch in my throat as I take in his still glistening from the shower structure. His hair is wet and messy at the top and his muscles flex every time he moves forward.

I look away, slightly uncomfortable at the fact that he is so nonchalant once again.

"I've left you a towel in the shower, hurry up," he states as he continues on towards his bedroom. I nod before jumping up and heading towards the bathroom myself.

"Oh and Tris?" I stop and stare into the direction of his charming voice.

"Yeh?" I call back. He pops his head from the side of the corridor before sneering at me.

"You don't have to look away next time." He calls out before leaving me red-faced and ashamed ONCE AGAIN.

Running towards the bathroom, I lock the door behind me, afraid that he will barge in as casually as he walks around in a towel. There is still steam from his shower engulfing me. Hastily stripping, I step into his dark, stone-made shower before turning it on to the temperature he was on. Wincing in pain, I jump back. _Too. Hot. Is he the devil or something?_ I get out of the glass cabin as I move to the side, so I can adjust the temperature without being burnt to death by the wicked kiss of the pouring lava. After regulating the water, I cautiously step back in, allowing the water to calm and touch every single part of my bruised and battered body. I look around until I finally find his soap and shampoo. I try for the soap, but quickly put it down when I realize that it smells too much of him. Taking the bottle of an untouched, lavender scented shampoo, I lather myself up, paying extra attention to my discolored, purple and neglected shoulders. Time easily flies by when you're under the shower. I never had such a luxury as rinsing in warm water. In Abnegation, we had a well in the center of the town square, and whenever you needed to shower, you would have to go by yourself and fill up your buckets with as much water as _you_ believe is good enough. And we never had different scented shampoos or conditioners. It was all simple back then.

After feeling my muscles soften and relax, I let out a sigh before turning off the shower and carefully stepping out onto the cold, black tiles of the Dauntless leader's bathroom. The only brightness found in the room was a small, bright and yellow ceiling light, which let enough artificial rays for me to see what's surrounding me and where _not_ to step. Moving to stand in front of the large mirror (I'd be surprised if there was a small mirror in Eric's bathroom) I squint my eyes as I stare at the messily drawn arrows and handwriting imprinted onto the glass by the use of the condensed water particles now transformed into thick steam.

The arrows and the writing that says " _I like the smell of mint on you ;)_ " point to an unused toothbrush laying over a tube of mint toothpaste. Rolling my eyes, I quickly brush my teeth and change into his shirt and my old pants. Although the shirt was allegedly small on him, it still never fitted me, with the fabric flowing over my ass. Tucking the shirt inside my pants and wrapping my jacket around my hips, I open the door and run into a pacing Eric. He grabs me before I can fall back into the bathroom. Muttering a 'sorry', I stand awkwardly in front of the entrance of the hallway, unsure of what to do next. There is a knock on the door.

Immediately, his stare tells me to go into his bedroom and hide the fact that an initiate is lurking in his personal headquarters. As soon as I am safe inside his dark bedroom, I hold my breath as I try and listen to what's going on in the other room.

I head his front door open before Eric barks an irritated response as the intruder.

 _Max._

"Relax, it's just me. Wanted to check up on you after you left hastily yesterday. I'm disappointed in you Eric, I thought you would have joined me to find some new, hot Dauntless meat," he sneers, making me feel dizzy.

"Wasn't in the mood to be honest," Eric replies gruffly. I don't need to be facing him to know that he has a cold, deadly stare fixated onto his prey. Max laughs.

"What's gone into you? You used to be so much fun. Is it the paperwork?" They laugh but it all ends too soon.

"Jeanine called. She said you haven't reached out to her these days or sent her a report about Divergents." I freeze, my blood doing the same within my capillaries.

"There is nothing new. No new suspects undergoing any signs of hidden Divergence. And yes, before you ask, I am keeping an eye on the initiates. Everything seems normal up to now," Eric shoots back at him a little too harshly. That doesn't seem to bother Max as I hear him chuckle before he slaps Eric's shoulder.

"That's the way we do it. Good work Eric. Keep on making me proud and in a few years time, you're going to be the one fully in charge of running this restless faction." And with that, I hear Max trot away before the entrance is banged shut loudly. I wait for a few seconds, still unsure that the coast is clear. But in that time Eric open the door to the bedroom before he opens his arms for me to mold into him. I run into him, afraid that the hidden secrets of my Divergence will accidentally find their way to him.

* * *

 _I wake up, panting heavily as I regain my consciousness and I take in my surroundings. I am still in the aptitude test room. I am still wearing my grey gown concealing any curves my body has. Tori stands in front of me, muttering to herself as she types away onto the monitor connected to the chair in which I am sitting in. I look around, catching my hazel eyes' reflection in the mirrors. My hair still untouched. My face still chubby. My ear still un-pierced. Even though this has been me for the past sixteen years, I have never felt like I am looking at my own reflection._

 _"You're Divergent." I snap my head back at Tori who is eyeing me curiously, like a little puppy with it's new toy._

 _"Excuse me?" I reply timidly. She sighs._

 _"Your aptitude test. Your score...you fit in more than one faction. You're Divergent." She repeats. I'm still confused so I shake my head naively._

 _"You don't fit in one category. Your brain works in a million different ways. This is extremely rare," she narrows her eyes._

 _"So what do I do? Is it a bad thing? Am I going to become Factionless?" So many questions bubble within me as the panic rises._

 _"Don't go round telling everyone. Divergence is something beautiful. You see and calculate situations in many different ways. You can be from Amity but still have that Dauntless fire within you. It isn't dangerous, but there are people who want to use that against you. If the wrong person finds out that you are Divergent, hell, locking you up is the least of your worries. Because you have a higher pain tolerance and you're also immune to some serums, they can use you as a human guinea pig, to try and test and find out how your brain works," she whispers, leaning in and closing my outstretched mouth._

 _"What did I get?"_

 _"Candor...and Dauntless." A spark of happiness rose within me, just as the spark of guilt died down within me. I knew I wasn't fit for leading the simple Abnegation life._

 _"Your lead results came out as Dauntless, so that's what I manually typed in the program. Tomorrow, I want you to trust yourself Tris. You can do it."_

 _I bob my head as I stand up. Walking towards the exit, I wave back at Tori and..._

* * *

"Earth to Tris," Eric coos snapping his fingers at my paralyzed-in-his-arms-body. I jump slightly as I remember where I am and who's with me. And what had just happened.

"I think I should go," I whisper, pulling apart and walking towards the door.

"Tris, ignore what you just heard. It's nothing...important," he calls out as I hear his footsteps follow me. I huff, trying to control my growing anger. Angrily, I spin around.

"What time do we begin practice today?" I say through gritted teeth, forcing Eric to narrow his eyes.

"Gun practice. On the roof. Nine o'clock. Why?" I smirk, looking at the time behind him. _Eight thirty._

"Good. I have just enough time to go get another tattoo." I spin around and stomp away, leaving Eric speechless and confused.

Upon arrival at the parlor, I am warmly greeted by Bud, who is busily tattooing the shadow of a shark onto the bare back of a Dauntless member. I make my way deeper into the shop, only to find Tori furiously huffing at herself as she breaks the pencil in her hand. She looks up, startled.

"Oh hey, I didn't see you there. Here for another tattoo?" She says jokingly, but her smirk wavers off as I sit in the leather chair. Pulling onto the shirt, I reveal the untouched skin on my left shoulder.

"I'm stressed. And I have some time before practice, so I want you to just give me the good old Dauntless symbol right here." I tap the spot impatiently. She eyes me carefully, before beginning the whole process of strapping and putting the stencil onto my flesh. When the patch is safely stuck to me and the buzzing begins, she sits back, narrowing her eyes.

"What's going on?" I sigh.

"Tori, I see you as one of the only people I can truly trust here...and anywhere really, but I don't know where to start." She waits patiently as I gather up my thoughts.

"I slept with Eric..."

"WHAT?" She yells, standing up, before I silence her with a deadly glare, learnt from the only and only, Dauntless leader Eric.

"Not in that way," I whisper furiously. "I was drunk yesterday, and he took me in. We were both drunk actually, and we kinda just fell asleep on each other on his couch without us even remembering. But that's not the bad part. The bad part was that after we woke up and we were getting ready, Max came." I pause, breathing in, before continuing.

"He came, so I hid in Eric's bedroom. And from where they were and where I was, I could hear what they were talking about. Jeanine...Divergents...looking over the initiates. I had so many questions, but after Max left and Eric came back to me, I gave him the cold shoulder and ran straight to you."

"There's word going round that Jeanine is trying to find Divergents worthy enough for her fucked-up Erudite experiments. When I told you that they wanna find out how your brain works, I mean it," she says as she removes the needled strap off my shoulder, revealing the intricate design of the Dauntless symbol now bound onto me forever.

"Why were you with Eric though? It doesn't seem like taking an initiate into his apartment, let alone _sleeping_ with her is something he would do? What are you doing?" She raises an eyebrow as I raise out of my chair, chuckling.

"If I knew...how much is it?" She waves her hand as she begins pushing me out of her station and towards the exit. I try and stop her.

"You can't keep on doing that Tori, it's not fair," I urge.

"Hah, watch me bitch," she laughs as she slams the door in my face. I smile as I inwardly groan. _I think I have some time to spare in the Cafeteria._ Just as the thought passes through my head, my stomach agrees loudly.

"Trissyyyyyy," Uriah slams into me as soon as I enter the Cafeteria. I laugh.

"Hey Uri, where you heading to?"

"Actually I was just about to go looking for you. I thought that I should check round the Chasm, maybe you've decided that the tequila would give you superpowers for you to survive the jump. Just kidding please don't hurt me! Anyways, where did you go yesterday? We spent hours looking for you." I feel guilt embrace me.

"I..uh...well...after you left...Four found me. That's right...he found me and he sent me back...to the dormitories. Are you hungry? I'm starving." I say as I lead him towards the food, praying that he will accept my crappy lie. He doesn't seem too impressed though.

"We _checked_ your dormitories and again, _you were nowhere to be found."_ His warm eyes now low-key frightening. I huff.

"You're right. As soon as you left, Eric found me wincing in pain by the Chasm. He took me to his apartment and we _fell asleep. That's. It."_ I laugh at his starstruck expression as I bite into a chocolate cupcake. His eyes travel behind me, a mischievous grin growing onto his face.

"Speaking of the Devil..." I twist fervently only to see Eric enter the Cafeteria. A hush traveled across the room as everyone begin bowing their heads in respect, before continuing with their meal. His eyes meet mine, and for a millisecond, he smiles. I grin in return, turning back to meet the intrigued stares of Uriah, Marlene and Lynn. Shrugging, I pour myself some orange juice.

"Hey Tris where..."

"When we left her, Four picked her up and put her in the dormitory. She was under the covers, fast asleep, when we went to check the cots." Uriah mechanically responds. They turn to look at me, as I nod in affirmation. They both sigh before continuing through their food.

"We were worried about you," Marlene whispers warmly, earning a nod from Uriah.

"I'm okay, I know I should have told you, but as soon as he found me...I couldn't decline." I lower my head thoughtfully.

"Speak for yourself Mar, I don't care about no one," chirps in Lynn, earning two pairs of rolling eyes from her fellow Dauntless-born.

"Sure sure, Lynn, you don't care about _anyone._ How could anyone forget that you are the most heartless person on this planet." We laugh as we begin small-talk.

The door of the Cafeteria swings open, making the loudest, screeching noise a door could possibly make. Everyone on my table- including me- twist around to look at who had angrily entered the now noisy room.

 _Christina._

Snapping my head back at Uriah, he just continues to glaring at her, his face quirked into a contorted expression. I turn back to see Christina stomping towards me, shoving into some Dauntless member who's clutching their head; probably due to a hangover still not over. We all stand up. I ball my fists into ready punches just as her slender hand reaches for my hair. I growl, exposing my teeth in the most animalistic way I can, my clenched fist meeting with her already-bruised up ( _from me)_ face. She groans, toppling backwards before lunging back at me. Without thinking, I grab Uriah's empty food tray, which was pushed across the table towards me by a very helpful Uriah, and with all my might, I slam the metal platter into her face. She crashes to the floor, clutching the her bloody face. I am not done yet. Jumping over her, I find her windpipe and begin crushing it, allowing only a good amount of air to reach her lungs, just enough so she doesn't pass out on me.

"Christina. I'm not going to fight you. Quit acting like a little bitch and stop trying to hurt me. Get over yourself. Just because _I_ won CTF, because _you_ couldn't beat me, mind you, _doesn't_ mean that every single fucking time you see me you have to try and get back at me. Stop!" I shriek, spitting in her face, still not loosening my clutch onto her trachea. I feel Uriah and Lynn try and rip me back as I attempt to knock her out. "Tris you're going to kill her stop!" Uriah yells, grabbing onto me more strenuously than before, causing me to fall back onto my ass. Christina dramatically heaves for air and to my surprise, her purple face has gone blue due to the de-oxygenation. Lynn hoists me up quickly, just as Eric pushes his way through the small crowd circling us. He looks down at Christina, scoffing at her pathetic attempts to be a victim. His hard glare settles on me as the tension heightens. There is a hint of pride concealed under his gaze, but one wouldn't see if they aren't looking for it.

"Candor. Stand the fuck up before I pick you up myself. And that's not going to be gently," he snaps. Christina shuffles up as quickly as she can, not daring to meet my still-infuriated glower thrown her way. "It's funny how during training you're not feisty enough to throw a punch, but now in front of _everyone_ , you've finally decided to become a _tough-cookie_." Uriah snickers at the nickname but instantly shuts up after Eric looks into his direction.

"Stiff." I stare at the irritated leader, afraid that he might cut me for my unnecessary attack. _But no, he wouldn't. After all, this is Dauntless, right?_


	18. Gun Practice

**Hi, just a quick disclaimer, I don't know how to use a gun nor have I ever loaded a gun. I've basically summed up Four's instructions from the extensive amount of research I put myself through to make this as accurate as possible. So I do apologize if some parts aren't done properly. But anyways:**

 **~ Enjoy x**

Gripping my arm painfully, Eric drags me out of the Cafeteria, leaving the whole Dauntless population held within to gape sorrowfully, since they know that when Eric's in his bad days, no one's happy. I try to hold us back, but his grip is deathly.

We pass the Chasm, and a few empty hallways until we reach one of the more secluded and dark corridors. Slowly releasing my wrist, he twists me around and shoves me into the wall, quite forcefully, making me grunt in disapproval. He slams his hands on the wall covering both sides of my head before leaning in, panting and staring with a bitter expression.

"Tell me, what the fuck is going on with you? First you leave my apartment all strange and shit, asking about the time and then I casually walk into the Cafeteria only to see you slamming a fucking food-tray into your former friend's face? I mean, I fucking hate Candor; she's a pain in the ass; and I know that she must have obviously pissed you off a great deal, but what's going on with you?" He retorts, tilting his head to the side and raising a pierced eyebrow.

I'm still uneasy and shaken after his conversation with Max, so I just huff.

"Nothing," I mumble, looking anywhere but his scowling features. From my peripheral sight, I can see him clenching his jaw, the knot in my stomach tightening.

"Tris, I don't like being played around with. Stop fucking around and quit acting like a child," he hisses. I sigh. Part of me wants to slam my fists onto his chest, overcome my Stiff nurture that has taught me to fear such a natural thing and kiss him furiously. _Hah, as if._ The other part of me wants to slam my fists into his chest and confront him about the shit I overheard. _Still not going to happen._ But the most dominant part of me wants to just look down like a beaten dog and apologize for nothing, because I don't regret anything, but I certainly am not afraid of him.

"I'm sorry Eric. I'll try and control myself." My voice breaks as I bite down my tongue furiously, in fear that I will accidentally say something that I really don't want him to know at this point.

 _I'm not afraid of him._

He seems taken aback by my 'honesty'; and for a few seconds; I can see him going over what just happened in his head. I finally meet his calculating stare, giving him my fakest of smiles. He doesn't seem impressed. It is as if he knows how I'm feeling without me having to open my mouth and tell him. He leans in closer, embracing me and catching me by surprise. I furrow my brows, confused as how I respond. Pushing aside all the Divergent drama, I throw my arms around his neck, pulling him even closer, focusing on him, and him only. No Divergent. No Leader. Just Tris and Eric. Although I am crushed by him and the wall, these few seconds of silent bliss are enough to bring me back up from the hell-hole of stress I was stuck in just a few minutes ago. He hums in my hair, pleased that I am feeling better. _Maybe it's the way I hold myself which gives away my emotions and the way I'm feeling. All in all, I don't care about how he knows what I feel. I'm just glad he does._

As he pulls away, I pout slightly, making him chuckle triumphantly.

"You should go to the roof or else you'll miss gun practice, and we can't have you as the only Dauntless _member_ not being able to hold a gun properly," he smirks stepping back. I push myself off the wall as I ask him, "What do I say if someone asks me where I was? I mean I'm pretty sure everyone saw you dragging me away. I'm betting that they're going to be surprised that I'm even alive. Who knows? You might have just chucked me into the Chasm and be over and done with me," I laugh, concealing the nervousness bubbling within me as I see him tense up. Involuntarily, I place my tiny hand over him cheek, smirking gleefully as I rub my hand over the slight stubble beginning to form. He groans, taking a step towards me before rapidly stepping back. I shoot him a confused look as he shrugs his shoulders.

"Didn't wanna do something you and I both know you're not ready for." My heart begins racing like mad as he walks off, whistling carelessly as his footsteps echo throughout the hollow hallway. Turning back once, he winks at me knowingly, before disappearing into another branch of Dauntless corridors. _Asshole._ My lungs begin burning as I realize that I have forgotten to breathe. Inhaling quickly, I take a few moments to regulate back to my normal breathing before hurrying away towards the rooftops.

The tiny pebbles crunched and cried as my boots stomped onto their tiny grey carcasses. Jogging towards the huddle of transfers, I feel my stomach drop as I realize that my three favorite Dauntless-born won't be accompanying me in this lesson. _They probably cleaned guns for entertainment as children._ Looking around, I realize that I have no one to hang around with. Christina is propped against the wall where the gun targets are on display, holding a blue ice-pack to her face as she chatters away to a depressed-looking Will. He looks at me regretfully, sighing as she begins pulling on his jacket like a toddler in a tantrum for attention. I really want to pull him away from her and just talk to him. Even if it's to ask him why the sky is blue. When we were still friends with Christina, he used to talk to me about everything, being the Erudite boy he still is. And I would listen, being the Abnegation girl I am desperately trying to get rid of. I guess we needed each other's company to save ourselves from the sorrow and nausea of leaving our factions of origin. And then every night after lights were out and we weren't fast asleep due to the exhaustion, I would creep up to his bed and sit on the edge- _not too close-_ and I would listen to him going on about how the Earth rotates around the sun. He would talk to me about DNA and how the heart pumps blood around the body. He would ramble on and on about Adolf Hitler, some guy hundreds of years ago who supposedly tried to wipe out a whole entire race. I would 'oh' and 'ah' at the right moments, and ask him more about what he envisioned Dauntless would be like. And this went on for days. Until now. I am lying if I say that I don't miss Will talking to me about the smallest of things, even if it was about how to make yogurt.

I send him a smile and get one back in return. If he really is my friend he would come to me. _He's from Erudite though. I'm sure he's just trying to find a logical way out of this issue so that me and Christina could stop fighting. I'm not falling that low ever again._

I continue walking past them until I'm close to Peter and his lackeys. I'm still trying to figure out Peter's true intentions. I lean against the wall, crossing my arms against my chest as I eavesdrop in their conversation. Luckily they don't notice me so I'm fine hidden under the shadows.

"..I'm sick of doing bad things and then liking it and then wondering what's wrong with me," he states, frowning at both Drew and Molly, who are exchanging nervous glances. "This is Dauntless," he continues. "I wanna make a new image for myself. And I'm tired of you guys following me around like I'm Satan and you're the devils encouraging me to do bullshit. This isn't going to happen. Dauntless aren't cowards and _we_ don't hide behind stupid advances and stupid words. I want it to be over. I want it to start again," he retorts, stomping away before he catches me eyeing him, forcing him to halt.

I ball my fists and clench my teeth, ready to fight him if he tries me. I see him softening his muscles as well as his face, before he begins walking towards me.

"Heard that huh?" He holds my hazel eyes in his, and for once, they don't conceal malicious intentions and they don't wish me harm. I stiffly nod, as I slump to the ground, resting my elbows on my knees. He sighs before slumping next to me, his side brushing mine, immediately making me uncomfortable by our too-close proximity. But I play it off cool.

"Can we start new?" He blurts out, his face reaction instantly proving how regretful he is that he is Candor by birth. I narrow my eyes before looking straight ahead.

"Peter if this is some kinda of sick joke..."

"No Tris I swear to you. Believe it or not, people can change." I cock my head to the side as I glare at him, still not impressed.

"Say, how comes the sudden change. I've heard that you've been practically inseparable with them two," I motion towards Molly and Drew, who are nicely sending death glares towards me and Peter as they begin trotting towards Christina, Will and Al. "Why'd you cut them off so harshly?"

He furrows his brows together, probably carefully thinking before he blurts out his answer. When he's finally done, he turns to stare at me, a strange flame dancing in his wide, dark green eyes. He smiles nervously, showcasing his perfectly straight white teeth before opening his mouth to answer.

"Gather around here, let's get this over and done with as soon as possible." Four's deep voice interrupts Peter before he can even begin. He sighs loudly... _relief?_

I begin to stand up only to feel him bringing me up with him by the waist. My stomach flutters, not because of him, but because he terribly reminds me of Eric. The way I wish Eric would treat me in public.

I purse my lips into a thin line as I awkwardly nod in appreciation. He shrugs, still eyeing me intensively; and his hands not letting go of my waist until I don't begin walking towards the small pack of transfers circling Four, who is holding a long gun. As soon as everyone stops shuffling around, he raises the weapon above his head.

"This is the good ol' Dauntless rifle. Semi-automatic...with an integral suppressor." Although he is far away from me, I can hear Will sigh in relief. _Was this a good thing?_

"You will be each given a box of bullets today. Follow my orders, and by the end of this lesson you'll know how to load your weapon, how to shoot with it and how to clean it. First things first: push your bullets into this tube." He opens up a small chamber running along the side of the rifle, hastily shoving one bullet after the other and ending the process by securing the cartridge shut. "To advance to the first shot, don't forget to pull this bolt up. In that way, you're 'preparing' the bullets within," he rolls his eyes at the mutually confused face shared within our group. Obviously he is trying to use simple terminology, but that didn't feed up our confusion. So he demonstrates, a small 'click' rolling out of the Dauntless rifle. "Now you must enter your steady position. Stand with the hip of your non-trigger hand pointing at the target. Support the rifle with your elbows tucked in tight and close to your torso like this. Make you positioning as comfortable as possible." Swiftly, he moves into the position, grimly smiling as his hands dance into their allocated positions. "Hold the hand-grip, just behind the trigger with your dominant hand. You want to keep this baby as steady as possible. This isn't a toy," he presses on. He then proceeds to making the rifle even more comfortable on him by resting his cheek on the side of the gun whilst the butt rests on his shoulder. _It seems so light._

"Is there a safety precaution that we need to press before firing the gun?" Will questions, his face giving away how extremely intrigued he is. Before Four can answer, someone from behind us snaps irritably in response.

"Why would Dauntless care about safety precautions. We let you handle and throw knives; we train you to be able to beat someone to death and we're going to throw you in a room with you own fears...literally. So tell me why the fuck would we even bother to put safety precautions on our guns?" He laughs as he shoves through us, standing crossly behind Four, who's still holding the position of a killer. Will keeps quiet thankfully and Four continues showing us how to aim accurately and how to correctly pull the trigger. When he is done explaining, he proceeds with a quick and perfect demonstration in front of the target.

Taking in his stance and his concentrated look, I follow every single step he takes, up to the point where his silver bullets pierce through the heart of the painted bulls-eye of his straw target. "Proceed." Eric barks as Four lowers his firearm, both of them beginning to pace hurriedly behind us.

Scrambling towards the end target next to Peter's, I take a deep breath before going over Four's steps in my mind. I glance at Peter, who is already in position, his demeanor perfectly mimicking Four's one. His rifle clicks just as I begin pushing the bullets into the cartridge. When I have secured it locked, I bring the rifle close to my cheek, letting it rest on my shoulder just like it does on everyone else's. Just as I am about to shoot, I hold my breath, but let go as soon as the young, pacing leader's split hands find my waist to shake me gently.

"Never hold your breath before you fire. Holding your breath creates an automatic and unconscious waver in your body, as it reacts to being deprived of oxygen. It's going to make your shot less accurate than a shot fired immediately after an exhale. Control your breath intakes. Breathe naturally and comfortably. Don't think about it too much, just do it," he murmurs, strengthening his grip around me possessively, making me tingle in the weirdest and most bizarre way possible. I twist to look at him, feeling my lips part slightly as I wordlessly question his knowledge. And then it hits me. _Is he from Dauntless originally or..._

"Focus. And shoot." He steps away, raising a pierced eyebrow, probably sensing my untold confusion. Getting back into the stance, I inhale and exhale normally, and shoot. The echo of the ear-splitting "BANG" rips through my ears. I feel the sudden pressure jolt within me like an electrical spark. And then dead silence. I glance around and everything seems to be moving in slow motion. I shut my eyes, silently praying that my hearing would come back. Softly and slowly, it does.

"Tris..." I open my eyes to allow the image of a frustrated Eric, who's impatiently yet worriedly shaking my shoulders, to enter. I squeeze his bicep in reassurance.

"What the hell happened?" I yell over the ringing. He cringes, laughing at my focused expression.

"There's no need...shout...not deaf...unlike you..." I read his lips as he mutters, pulling on his trademark smirk. "What?" I yell again, looking over his shoulder at a laughing Peter, who's just standing there with his arms crossed, scanning me.

"Stop. Yelling." Eric mouths, motioning with his hands to tone it down. I nod, smiling proudly as I glance at my target. My shot ripped through the straw a couple of inches away from the center. _Not a bulls-eye, but it's good enough for my first shot._ By the time I swallow my pride, the ringing has toned down and I am finally gifted with my full hearing. Cocking my head to the side, I wonder out loud.

"What happened?" Luckily, with Eric by my side, he responds quickly; "You weren't ready for the sound. Maybe because you've lived in a practically dead town where raising your voice isn't something people do; maybe it's because it's your first try. Don't worry, you'll get used to it eventually." He discreetly winks before stomping away towards Al. I jump as I sense someone else's hand squeezing my shoulder. Peter.

"You did great, even better than me," he laughs, his cheeks slightly reddening, making me laugh along with him. "Thanks, I guess." I'm still unsure as to whether I should trust Peter. _After all, he did promise that he'll ruin me._ We stare at each other for a couple of moments, until I look away from his charming face.

"Alright everyone take a break. Go down, eat something. I want you all out here in thirty minutes. We're going to teach you how to use a compass," Four smirks, walking off towards the stairway leading us back into the heart of the compound. I gaze around, hoping to see the familiar demeanor with the tattooed neck. _But luck isn't with me._

Huffing, I begin following Four to the exit until I hear someone jogging closely behind me.

"Hey Tris, wait up."

I stop short in my tracks, narrowing my eyes as I feel Peter recoiling himself from the collision we were going to have. "Yes?" I don't want to sound to rude, so I raise my eyebrow. He staggers, looking anywhere but me.

"I was wondering whether I can have lunch with you," he says, stuffing his hands in his trouser pockets nonchalantly. I smile, pleased that he is nervous. Although I don't know why he has began acting so weird towards me, I am enjoying the fact that he is suffering yet pushing himself to talk to me.

"Let's go then."

He beams, running ahead of me, only to open the exit door as I walk towards him.


	19. Overthinking

**Did I just stay up till 1:50 am to finish this chapter? Yes...yes I did. Here's something new, open your eyes for hints about future events that might happen sooner than later ;) Happy Easter and happy reading!**

* * *

 **Eric POV**

The sound of the alarm clock echos through my bleak room, and when it finally reaches me, I roll over to my side and punch the machine as hard as I can, sending it to its silence right away. Groaning, I groggily rub my eyes, pushing away any sleep that's pulling me back into her arms. Chills run down my spine as the every-day-first-thought shoots through my mind.

 _Tris._

She is like a headache, and every single day, it gets worse and worse. Although I cannot force myself to tell her (or myself) that I officially have feelings for her, I try to hint as much as possible. And I can't bring myself to accept that every single time I think about her face; her wide hazel eyes; her sweet smile that just juxtaposes anything here in Dauntless ( _except Uriah- that kid is weird);_ her tiny body that just molds into me when I embrace her emphasized curves... _what the fuck is wrong with me?_

I slap myself, cringing at the mere idea that such thoughts are passing through my mind. _I'm not even drunk._ Slowly rising out of my unnecessarily enormous bed, I walk up towards my drawers and shuffling under the array of folded black fabric; I find myself a bottle of whiskey. Since today I practically have a day off since Four and Lauren are taking the initiates to the Fence, I might as well either drown myself under the paperwork a leader can never escape from- or I can drown myself with whiskey. Smirking, I crack open the bottle, mentally preparing myself for the internal battle my demons seem to frequently fight against the thoughts of Tris.

 _Put yourself together man, you're a leader and she's just an initiate. Out of all the good meat here, why stop on her?_

Frowning, I take a few swigs of the strong liquor before putting it back under my clothes and going to shower. Turning the temperature to as cold as it can go, I clench my teeth as I enter the world of ice. Showering quickly, I push aside any signs of Tris off of my body and mind. It usually takes me less than ten minutes to get dressed and ready, but today, not even the cold shower can absorb her infectious laughter and her hilarious glare, the one she learnt off me. I smile as I hastily step out of the shower, not even bothering to dry properly.

Tucking on a tight, black shirt and a pair of black jeans, I put my combat boots on and leave my apartment, not even bothering to lock the door. As soon as I see members around me, I force my animalistic and bare glare on my face as I lift my chin up. Judging by their respectful responses, I can tell that I am definitely emitting some sort of superiority. _After all, this is Dauntless. And in Dauntless, social classes are pretty damn important, especially if you want people to look up to you._

I stiffly nod every single time someone chooses to greet me and I roll my eyes lustfully at any chick who tries to seduce me with her body language. But then there's always that powerful part at me that stops me from running after them and playing around. That part of me is called _Tris_. Quickening my pace, I nearly jog towards the Cafeteria, which yet again a hush falls around it as all eyes turn to stare at me. I'm not gonna lie, I love having this power, this influence over people, but sometimes it just gets too tiring. A part of me wishes I was a normal Dauntless member, who has a normal job, who no one pays attention to him when he enters the Cafeteria. Who has friends whom he can spend quality time getting drunk and playing Candor or Dauntless with. Someone who can have a girlfriend, who he can kiss affectionately in front of everyone and no one will bat an eye. But when you're a Dauntless Leader, everything outside of work is a distraction. Girls are a distraction. Sex is a distraction , and so is drinking. Although I'm only eighteen years of age, I feel like I've already done everything in this world. But real affection is not something from that list.

From my peripheral sight I catch the limp waves of Rick, summoning me to join the emptiest and most far away table he could ever pick. Rolling my eyes, I hop down towards him, straightening my back as I let out the 'Don't fuck with me today' charm. Clapping hard on his back, I sit opposite Rick, grabbing myself some eggs and bacon.

"Wanna get drunk and not even remember what day it is by tonight?" He asks, wriggling his eyebrows. I sigh. Although his offer seems to be quite fitting with my empty schedule, I cannot do that to the Stiff. _My Stiff._ He frowns, oblivious as to why I had just began cringing at my cheesy thoughts. _No Eric what the fuck? Get your shit together man._

"I'm gunna pass bro, really not in the mood, especially since I have to wake up extra early tomorrow to see the sunrise with the initiates," I huff, earning a disappointed look from my only companion.

"Alright then, I'm going to spend my last day before I head back to the Fence without your crude-ass comments about everything and everything," he retorts sadly as I shrug. We continue eating in silence, the sound of chattering and laughter ebbing away the sadness and longing to see Tris' face away. _For fuck's sake..._

"What's gotten into you Eric?" Rick's voice pulls me back into reality. "What?" I narrow my eyes back at him, taking another bite out of my breakfast. He leans against the table as he scans my face. I send him a contorted glare before he rolls his eyes and backs up, scoffing.

"You've been so...well, all over the place. You used to spend every damn second of my 'vacations' here with me, drinking away the sadness of being a leader, playing around with any and every girl who glanced at you. Now you're so distant, you don't seem to concentrate well and you turned by offer down. You _never_ turn my offer down. I mean really? Last year we got so drunk before CTF and remember, _your_ team still won. With your drunk as fuck ass as their captain. And now you're 'not in the mood'? Who is she?" He leans over again, clenching his jaw at my confused expression.

"I don't know who you're talking about," I shoot back, clenching my teeth so damn hard I feel like they're going to break in my mouth. He laughs as he begins shaking his head fervently.

"Bro you're fucked...out of ALL the things I listed out, you decided to pick on the only vague thing I threw at you. I wasn't talking about anyone, but now that you've got me intrigued..." He grins evilly as he begins chuckling at my probably angry scowl. _He is probably the only person I know who doesn't get affected by my glares. Well him...and Tris._ My guts twist and tuck as I shake my head.

"That's because it was the last thing you said in your pathetic speech! Logically, anyone would pick on the question put in front of them, as well as the question that will probably answer their accusations, in your case 'who is she's' answer will give away all the answers for my all-over-the-place state," I declare, crossing my arms as I lean away from the table. Rick simply stares at me for a few seconds, before he gives in and raises his hands in a mockery of innocence.

"Whatever, I ain't fighting with the logistics of an ex-Erudite." I throw a piece of bread from the large plate situated in the center of the table at him, striking him in the head. We laugh as he returns the gesture, as we fall into the dream that we are still teenagers fucking around when no one's looking. Standing up, I put away the tray, with Rick following closely.

"I'm gunna go train for a bit, get some shit off my mind." He nods and starts walking away just as I begin heading towards the training center.

"Oh Eric?" I twist round, raising an eyebrow at Rick who begins awkwardly jogging across the Cafeteria towards where I'm standing.

"Just try and come around tonight. I really don't wanna spend my last day here sober without my drinking buddy." I eye him, calculating how pained his expression is. _No matter how shitty I feel with the lack of freedom Leadership is giving me, I would never trade it to become a Guard._ I should have realized why he is always so eager to drink with me when he comes back to the compound. My presence still reminds him of the shit we did when we were initiates. Free and unbroken. I give in, sighing deeply as I place a hand on his shoulder.

"I ain't promising anything, but I'll come around, I'll meet you later in the Pit."

His face lights up visibly as he fist-bumps me and scatters away- probably towards the Pit to begin gulping away the sorrows of his sad, sad life. Distressed, I turn back towards the punching bags, attempting once more to forget the face carved into my mind 24/7.

* * *

Three hours later and I am still punching away the stress in the training room. Panting, I shut my eyes and I continue bashing at the bag, desperately trying to ebb away any worries or thoughts about her. _Her._ I don't even need to say her name anymore. My stomach twists in a knot as a bad feeling creeps up within me, making me question why I didn't want to join them to the Fence... _Why didn't I go with her? Is she alright?_

A sharp pain runs along my knuckles and as I stop, I look down to see that I have severely split them. Blood drips out of the open wounds but I continue on with my one-way fight, clenching my teeth as I punch harder and _harder._ And then abruptly I stop and rest my sweaty forehead on the battered and crushed-up face of my inanimate opponent. It takes me a couple of minutes to regulate my breathing, and a few more for my heart to slow down, but the current in my gut and the thoughts in my head do not seem to follow this order. With my forehead still resting against the cold surface, I punch once more, feeling the force of my hit tremble against my flesh. _I give up fighting these emotions. At least in this very moment._ I want to see her; to grab her and embrace her tightly as her voice mindlessly takes me away from all the troubles I have. I want to smirk at her lingering stare as her eyes undress me in the most innocent way possible. But the voice which brings me back is owned by probably the last person on my mind currently.

"Eric, how are you son?"

 _There's only one person who calls me 'son'._

 _Max._

 _And this is usually a sign which voices his need for my help._

"Hm?" I look up to meet his calculating and concerned stare as he continues strutting slowly towards me as I slump onto the bench and rest my sweat-covered back onto the icy surface of the lockers.

"Is anything worrying you?" I narrow my eyes. _He hates small talk- he likes to play around with the prey before revealing his true intentions. It is all a magic show._

"No, why would you think so?"

"Don't play stupid with me, I know you well enough that there is something bothering you and I will _not_ be having the same conversation as the one we had in your apartment," he shoots at me, glaring tiredly. I sigh, but choose to play on.

"Then I will tell you once more the same thing as I told you back in my apartment- I'm just not in the mood these days, there's nothing more to dwell on," I spit back, recoiling as I remember who I'm talking to. He seems to see that I didn't intentionally attack him verbally, so he chooses to respond with a short huff.

"Okay." I send him a stifled nod as he paces towards me, whispering sharply and impatiently, "Any Divergents on your watch?" I stare back, calculating how this is not the right time to headbutt him.

"No. The initiates are doing normal, with no signs of Divergence," I add in as I see the elder leader open and then abruptly shut his mouth. He purses his lips together, before twisting them into a pleased smirk but as he looks down towards his watch, he sighs.

"Jeanine's coming in fifteen minutes. She has scheduled a meeting with you in your office. And _please_ Eric, this time _try_ to withhold any dark, sarcastic or crude remarks." I smirk in return as I bite back the urge of wanting to eagerly punch him in the face for telling me so late. Hurrying past him, I hear Max chuckle as his footsteps follow slowly behind me.

* * *

Taking another brisk shower, I run towards my office, but I slow down my pace as I recoil and slither in back into the heavy Leader status. Upon my arrival in front of my large office, I see that my door is slightly open. Taking a breath of air, I fix the hardest stare I can possibly make and I enter my office. The scent of rose hits me instantly as I meet the cold and malicious eyes of the woman sitting on _my_ chair and leaning against _my_ desk. She delivers me her smuggest smile and I respond back with the same gesture. Although she stands up at the sight of me entering _my_ office, she does not move from behind the desk. Gesturing towards the less comfortable chair facing the large glass desk, she speaks up.

"Hello Eric. We have not seen each other in such a long time. Do have a seat." I have to bite my tongue hard to the point where I can taste blood as I suppress the need to sarcastically comment on how interesting it is how we're standing in my office in my faction and yet she is still treating me like I'm below her and I have to follow her orders.

"No thank you Jeanine, I'd rather stand. And yes, these two weeks of not seeing you have been awfully long." I internally groan but sigh in relief as she smiles coldly, not picking up on the ironic retort. She sits back down, making herself comfortable as she begins twirling her pale fingers through her straw-colored hair. And the way she is arched in the chair, it emits the aura of seduction. Clearing my throat, I bounce on my feet backwards and forwards as she slowly lets her dark blue eyes check me out from head to toe. Leaning against the table, she slowly bites her lip before moving to business.

"I have not received your report on your monthly checkup concerning the Divergent issue. What's wrong Eric, has everyone become too smart for you to pick out?" She says playfully with the hint of seriousness.

"That is because there is nothing to report about. There are no signs of Divergence lingering over anyone in _my_ Faction and even if there is, you know that I will come straight to you," I say bitterly, not backing down under her manipulative frown.

"That is true, although Dauntless is your Faction, do _not_ forget how you go to this position. And most certainly do _not_ forget where your loyalty lies," she responds slyly, her dark eyes trained onto me as she waits for me to do something that I will later regret horribly.

"Of coarse not. I would never," I retort coolly, narrowing my eyes at her content yet cold expression. She begins shuffling through the blue files my glass table are holding for her as she hums to herself. _God knows how much I want to walk up to her, grab her by her collar and throw her out for making herself too comfortable._ She lets out a soft 'ah' when she finally finds what she has been searching for. Opening up the file and skimming through it, she throws it across the desk and leans back as I walk myself towards the information held in front of me.

"These are all the files about each and every initiate that are trying to enter Dauntless. Either they're getting better at hiding their tracks or _you're_ not trying to hard to find them," she spits out, inhaling quickly as she waits for the redness spread across her face to tone down. "Anyway, I want you to look over them. Also, there's someone who particularly stands out to me and has surprised me." Seriously trying to hold back the worried expression threatening to show itself, I begin looking over the paperwork as I silently pray that we are both not thinking of the same person.

"Beatrice Prior," she states just as my mind agrees and my heart leaps in my throat. I look up, still fiercely holding up the blank expression. "What about the Stiff?" She smiles cruelly at the sound of the nickname. "It's rare to have an Abnegation transfer to Dauntless. When was the last time someone transferred from there?"

"Two years ago," I reply monotonously, knowing that she very well knows that he was in the same class as me. She nods in approval, staring at me hungrily like I was her prized student.

"Well done. And then when Beatrice decided to defect from her Faction we went through her aptitude results only to come up with the conclusion that they have been manually altered to state that she is 'Dauntless'." Pride washes over me as the sense of relief hits me. _Maybe that is why she can learn so quickly. There's no way..._

"Sometimes the computers break down, usually because it has been overheated. When _we_ went through their aptitude results, I specifically remember that the Stiff was one of the last ones to take the test, therefore it must have been a simple, technological malfunction," I respond, hoping that I'm not covering up a Divergent and that she really is a true Dauntless by heart. She thinks for a moment before opening her mouth and...

"I sincerely apologize for having to interrupt your meeting but Eric, there has been an accident involving one of your initiates," Fours voice enters my office just as he steps in. I turn back, silently thanking him for his interruption, but when his words hit me, I cannot stop the same bad feeling which drowned me back in the training room. I turn back to Jeanine only to see her standing up and packing up her files. She sends me a smirk just as she passes me.

"Go look after your transfers. You need to start _keeping and eye_ on them more." Her encrypted message makes me nod awkwardly, but I tense when she squeezes my bicep as she trots past me. _Oh how much I want to break her little heels and throw her into the Chasm._ Strutting past Four and bowing her head at him, he turns to me as he sends me the a confused glance.

"Don't ask," I growl, sending daggers his way as I see him desperately trying to hold back a laugh. "Where is she?" He sends me another perplexed stare as he crosses his arms curiously.

"How did you know it was a _she_?"

"I didn't," I lie through my teeth. He sighs before retorting out the only name I wished he wouldn't.

"Tris is in the Infirmary." He knows me too well since he adds her setting because he knows that I'm quick at taking actions. And he's right, because as soon as he said her name I shoved past him and marched towards the hospital ward as quickly as I possibly could, without looking vulnerable and afraid.

Reaching the Infirmary, I slam open the heavy doors as I clench my teeth. Every single nurse seems to immediately become occupied with some bullshit wound from a play-fight except Sara, the girl I have shared my first kiss with. She is a humble creature, which definitely makes it understandable as to why she chose to be a nurse. She has always wanted to be with me, I have never and probably will feel the same in return. She is just one of them girls who are never serious and who you will never be able to have a bright future with. So I cut it short before it got too serious.

I begin walking towards her angrily, but her answer took me by surprise since I never asked her the question.

"She's in here," she whispers before leading me to the bed furthest from the entrance. Pulling back the whitewashed curtain, I gasp as I look down at the tiny girl curled up in the bed. Her face is bruised and her chapped, plump lips are slightly parted. Her breathing signs convey how she has troubles breathing. She whimpers as she turns in her sleep. It takes all my might for me not to pull her out of the bed and take her to my apartment where she would at least have a good nights sleep.

"Nothing broken, she has suffered a great fall though, which is surprising as to how someone as small as her isn't even that badly injured," Sara remarks, walking towards Tris and tucking her in more comfortably. I send her a glare.

"What do you mean a 'great fall'?" She stares at me for a moment before shaking her head. "I'm not sure, sorry. Four brought her in less than an hour ago and only said that she has fallen severely before vanishing, which is something I really want to do now." She backs away slightly, wincing under my glare.

"How long until she is able to be on her feet?"

"Oh she'll be alright by tomorrow, she might have to take it easy, but that's up to her." She states before hurrying away to a new patient. I hear Tris shuffle restlessly under the covers.

"Eric!" Her soft squeals melt my harsh demeanor as I carefully slump down onto the bed beside her. She begins sitting up and even though she is flinching at the sudden pain her moves are giving her, she still has enough power to pull me towards her as she rests her face onto my collarbone, taking me in. I sigh in relief, the knot bugging me all day long finally untying as I bury my face in her soft, black curls on the top of her head. I can feel her planting a soft kiss on my collarbone before she jolts away slightly, clearly startled by her own reaction. I laugh, pulling her closer and quietly whispering a 'sorry' when she grimaces at the pain again.

"What happened to you, baby?" I murmur, feeling her face heat up against my neck. She pulls away, shaking her head forcefully and biting her bottom lip in the same manner.

"Christina and her new clique of pathetic lackeys happened." I tense up, gritting my teeth. _Why am I not surprised?_

"We were travelling up towards the Fence patrol stations, and you know how the stairs are really uneven?" I nod, carefully listening to her continue. "Yeah, and then today with the weather being all shit, it was slippery, so we had to be extra careful. So as we were going up, I feel someone trip me. I look up and surprise surprise, Molly and Drew were snickering down at me. I brushed it off, since I wasn't in the mood to fight with them, especially since the last time my cafeteria clash with Christina didn't end well and you were pissed at me. Anyway, I got up and just as I was getting up, I feel Christina grabbing me by my collar and shoving me backwards making me plummet down two flights of stairs. It would have been three if it weren't for Peter to stop me, who was behind because he forgot his jacket in the jeep, which I'm _so_ thankful that he did." She whimpers again, desperately trying to hold back an obvious sob. I shush her and stroke her hair.

"Don't worry, it's all over. You're here, you're with me. You can let go now."

"I'm here, I'm with you," she repeats before breaking down into a soft sob, her tiny body quivering as I hold her down. I begin cooing sweet nothings, trying my best to calm her down as quickly as possible, before I leave her to deal with some unfinished business. She calms down after several minutes of soothing- something I have never let myself do for _anyone._ Placing a soft kiss on her forehead, I heave up.

"I need to go and deal with some things. You're going to be okay." She looks like she's about to cry, but she gulps loudly and nods quickly. I smile down at her.

"Good girl. The nurse said that you'll be okay by tomorrow, so go back to sleep because you'll need it," I hint as much as I can about the training later on. Before pulling open the curtains and I leave her, I twist around and plant on more kiss on her head, and in that time she snakes her arms around my waist, before abruptly letting go. She stares as me longingly and innocently in the most naive way possible as I reluctantly walk away towards the exit of the infirmary, gathering up all my anger coiling within me.

* * *

It doesn't take me long enough to find Four striding around aimlessly throughout the corridors, but when I do, he sighs loudly, knowing what's coming his way. Not even fighting back, I shove him into the wall with gritted teeth as he eyes me amusingly.

"Where the fuck were you when one of you initiates was toppling down two fucking flights of stairs? And why isn't the attacker at the bottom of the Chasm yet?" I slam him into the wall, but he shoves me away, fixing his jacket nonchalantly after. "I was on my way to the little scene just as I saw her get tripped the first time. By the time I reached them, she was already pushed and on her way towards the ground. And just as it happened Al decides to slip right next to me..." I clench my jaw even more at how perfectly planned this attack was. Props to Christina- if it wasn't on Tris and I wasn't as vulnerable as I am now, I would probably go and congratulate her.

"Well...you're a shit instructor," is all I can think about. He shrugs as I walk off to find the next victim on my merry list.

I can hear her loud, annoying voice two corridors away from her. As soon as she see's me, her complexion becomes paler as she excludes herself from her group of pathetic lackeys now worshiping at her alter. She begins pacing away into the most convenient place for me to _talk_ to her- a dim corridor with barely anyone in there. She turns around, startled by my pacing demeanor. Repeating the same process as with Four, I slam her against the wall, this time being extra harsh. She begins trembling under my grip.

"I heard that you've been a pain in the ass, initiate," I spit in her face, feeling her tremble even more now. Her expression is so perfectly portraying the one of a victim.

"Please I..."

"I'm not done yet Candor. Shut your mouth...Now, I will give you a few choices; either you stop harassing the Stiff before I begin harassing you; I throw you in the Chasm and blame it on the stress or you become Factionless." I wait for a few moments before leaning in. "What's that? You pick choice two? Alrighty it'll be my pleasure, let's go." I begin pulling onto her, but she begins squealing like the coward she is.

"No no please Eric no. I'll stop harassing Tris. I promise." She bows her head down to hide the tears falling down her cheeks. I smirk. "Good." I let her go and she jogs away before I call her to a halt.

"One more thing...I see everything that's going on in the Faction. Don't try and do something because I _will_ find out." I swear that for a moment, a hint of disappointment runs across her face, making my stomach tighten.

* * *

Hustling through the crowded Pit, I make my way to Rick, who has his head in his hands, gently swaying side to side as the liquor takes him away. Setting down beside him, I order myself a glass of whiskey before downing it. _Tonight is going to be a long-ass night. I'm usually excited when tonight comes around. I may be more excited about this night than Capture The Flag. We'll see, we'll see._

Rick turns his head towards my direction and his expression immediately lights up as he sits up, patting me on the back as he laughs happily.

"Knew you would come," he smirks as I roll my eyes.

"Yeah sure, you seemed like you were having fun."

"Nah nah, I was in a time-out. I've been having fun all night long." We both laugh as we order shots and lemon. Feeling a little more than tipsy, I stop and order some water. _I can't be drunk. Not tonight._

"So tell me about her," Rick says mindlessly. I turn to stare at him.

"I don't know what you..."

"Oh shut up you! Of coarse you know what I'm talking about. In fact you know everything. So this lame excuse is out of your reach." I groan, before relaxing and giving up. After all it's Rick. Tomorrow he'll go back to the Fence and he won't be back until next month. Part of me is sad, since he's practically the only person I have as a friend. So why ruin his last night here and give in. After all, if things turn bad, I can always blame the alcohol.

"Tris." I mutter, sipping on my water, eyeing at his reaction. He raises his eyebrow before grinning like a little kid as he puts his arm around me , swaying us back and forth.

"I knew it brother! You can't keep shit from me. So tell me more about her, wait is she that chick who had a shot with you last time?" I nod.

"She's pretty cute...stop looking at me like that Eric, you know what I mean...anyway tell me more." I relax even more, running a hand through my gelled up hair as I furrow my eyebrows with concentration.

"I don't know what to do...I hate...feeling," I cringe as he laughs at me, patting me once more.

"Eric, are you actually serious about your feelings towards this girl?" I turn to look at him staring at me in the most serious way he can probably look at me. I straighten up.

"Yes, and it's freaking the fuck out of me!" He laughs again before forcing the bartender to just give him the bottle of whiskey.

"Well then my friend...I say just go for it. If she feels the same way about you then well done you've got yourself a cute girlfriend, if not, then hey, there's plenty of fish in the sea." I sigh, nodding as I begin standing up so that I can at least have a few hours of sleep.

"I'll try brother. Farewell, see you in thirty days." We shake hands before he pulls me in a manly hug.

"See you Eric. And I hope that by the next time I see you, you'll be telling me that you'll be too busy with your _girl."_ Smirking at the thought of Tris being my girl, I walk back home where I immediately fall asleep as soon as my body hits my bed.


	20. Coordination

**Thank you for the reviews. Much love.**

I slowly wake up to someone gently nudging me, barely touching me actually. I stir in my bed, sleepily running a hand through my messy hair that's sticking out like unkempt branches on a tree. I don't open my eyes yet, smiling tiredly as the hand begins stroking my cheek, carefully avoiding the slits and cuts formed by the fall and previous fights. I sigh as I begin opening my eyes, feeling them slightly widen as they are held by Peter's dazzling green eyes and his concerned expression. I want to flinch away from his touch, but my heavy muscles stop me from doing that. Besides, we're only friends. These days we have bonded on another level. After breaking up with his gang, he has been following me around like a lost puppy, trying hard to gain back my trust. And I'm happy to say that it's working. _He's my Uriah from the transfer class._ I'm even happier that Lynn, Marlene and Uriah himself have accepted him into our own group of friends. But I still feel like him being this close is a little worrying.

Sitting up, I clasp his hand in mine, gently squeezing it before letting go, earning a smile from him as he respectfully backs away.

"What time is it?" My answer holds more air than words as I look him down from head to toe, taking in his training clothes. He purses his lips together, frowning at the sight of my black eye which is making my head throb painfully.

"I don't know to be honest, some time after midnight. Eric woke us up excitedly. Said that we're going to play another game." He shrugs nonchalantly, his eyes still holding mine heavily. At the sound of Eric's name my heart flutters as the butterflies that have become one with my gut begin dancing around. Instinctively, I feel my cheeks begin burning as I remember his affection yesterday. _He called me baby..!_

I begin pulling myself out of the covers before Peter gently yet forcefully pushes me back into the high pillows.

"Woah what are you doing Tris?" I send him a glare as he shoots me one back in return.

"There's no way in _hell_ I'm missing a war-game," I bark out before he clasps a sweaty palm over my mouth, making me flinch in pain. He leans in, "Tris, we're in the Infirmary. And it's really early in the morning. Tone it down a little." His face twists into a contorted glare as he pulls his hand away from my mouth.

"You're disgusting," he whispers as he cleans his palm by rubbing it over his trousers as I chuckle.

"Help me out and let's go together," I plead. We have a stare-down before he rolls his eyes as he takes me out of the bed by clasping me from under my arms and hauling me out like an over-sized toddler. Looking down at myself, I see that I am wearing a white hospital gown. Nervously, I point at the gown. _How am I going to run in this? And I probably don't have enough time to go change into my clothes._ Peter laughs as he reveals a tank top and trousers which fit perfectly in his pocket.

"I'm so glad you're so tiny I could fit these in one pocket." I giggle before taking them from his outstretched hand. Taking two steps away from him, I stutter out, "Would you mind if you turned around while I change?" He stiffly nods before sitting on the edge of the bed as he faces the other direction. _I can swear that I saw a soft blush creep up on his face._ Throwing off the gown, I quickly swap into my normal attire, calling him to turn back as I begin tying my combat boots' shoelaces. When I am done, he hands me my jacket.

"Ready?" I huff, smirking in response as he hastily grabs my hand and forces us into a short job towards the tracks where the other initiates are beginning to run after the steadily approaching train.

Breaking into a sprint, I am naturally slower than Peter but he keeps his sprinting pace so that he is behind me. I feel him beginning to push me as to increase my speed just as we reach the moving compartments. He then jumps and grabs me by my waist, forcing us both into the compartment. I drag myself on the floor, panting because of the amount of energy I lost in just under five minutes. Peter hovers over me, breathing heavily as he squeezes my shoulder in reassurance. That's when I hear the familiar footsteps of my leader. He stops short in front of us, hands clasped in front of him as he eyes Peter dangerously, who quickly pulls his hand away from me. Moving his eyes back to me, he sighs, furrowing his brows with worry. Since we were the last people to enter the train, everyone except us and Eric are huddled together towards the other side of the compartment, talking to Four and messing around. I see Eric narrow his stormy eyes in Peter's direction, making the boy next to me gulp loudly.

"Leave us." He commands and his tone is enough for Peter to know that he should do as he says. As soon as he joins the crowd, I limp towards Eric, leaning against his towering physique without actually putting my arms around him. From where the other initiates are standing, they will not be able to see that Eric is in close proximity with me. Hell, they won't be able to see me at all! He is like a wall separating me and them. And I cannot be any happier that he is taller. He smiles down at me, resting his hand against the side of my face as my other side is buried in his jacket. He leans down, holding my eyes as he is trying to calculate something. Biting his lip, he shakes his head.

"You shouldn't have come Tris, you should have at least spent tonight recuperating." I raise my eyebrows at him mischievously.

"Are you underestimating my power to hold myself up?" He chuckles, quickly shaking his head.

"I would never underestimate you Tris...it's just..." He stutters.

"Are you worried about me?" I grin proudly, pushing my Abnegation scowling at how comfortable I am getting with him. _I'm getting there._ This time it's his turn to raise an eyebrow.

"You said that, not me." We laugh.

"Yeah but you meant it, I just voiced it," I beam at his stare.

"Fine...I am worried about you, is that bad?" I shake my head as I stand on my tiptoes so that I can be closer to his face, which I must add is cleanly-shaven and looks exactly like when I saw him the first time I entered Dauntless.

"Nop, not one bit, it's good to know that big bad Dauntless leader Eric has feelings," I whisper as he grabs me by my hips. "Yes, yes I definitely do," he murmurs back as he eyes me so intensively to the point I literally shudder under his look. He smirks before masking his happiness as Molly calls out from behind him.

"Hey lovebirds, we're waiting for you two so we can go over the rules." I feel my stomach drop as I _fear_ for what's coming next. I nod at him slowly as he grits his teeth violently before swiftly turning around and pacing towards her. I begin walking but stop and wince in pain as I gawk at how he backhands Molly, sending her to the floor of the train compartment. She grunts, making a louder noise as she _thumps_ on the ground. No one seems surprised though, especially the Dauntless born, who seem pretty used to him. This time though, I do not pity her one bit. _It was either him lashing out at her, or me._ Blood starts pouring out of her nose as she squeezes it just as she shuts her eyes to prevent herself from crying out. No one dared speak up.

Eric continues on to stand beside Four, who is looking out of the compartment through half-open eyes. When he finally acknowledges the leader's lingering presence behind him, he coughs, clearing his throat as he starts to speak.

"Next game: Find your way back to the Compound."

Murmurs sound around the enlarged cabin while Al stands there shaking his head like a disappointed parent. Surprisingly, it's Uriah who speaks up.

"Is this like some sort of new game? Zeke's never talked about this." I bite my lip as I glance at Four's frustrated stare and Eric amusingly leaning against the wall.

"We already talked about this, there are new rules involved, and although the physical training part is harder, we've decided to add another game to boost up your chance of survival," Eric retorts as Four stiffly nods, and I can swear his dark eyes lingered on me. I frown at him, offended.

"The game is quite self-explanatory, you will be paired up transfer-Dauntless born and at different points of this train journey we will _kindly_ ask you to exit the train. You will be provided with one compass between you both and you have to find your way back to the compound. The time is two in the morning. If you are not back by six pm, it can deeply affect your rank. Also, don't think you can be a smart-ass and just follow the tracks back to the compound. This isn't the point of the game. You need to learn how to coordinate yourselves because you never know when you might need to use a compass if you ever get lost if you're sent on a mission," he continues as Four begins counting the dauntless-born and the transfers. They then begin separating us.

Christina is paired with Lynn. I try not to laugh as I glance at Christina's panic-stricken face as Lynn marches towards her, smirking evilly as she cracks her knuckles. Peter gets paired with Marlene and I get paired with Uriah. He wriggles his eyebrows playfully as I giggle excitedly. I block everything out until it's Will's turn to be paired.

"Will...you can be with..." Four's eyes skim through what's left of the crowd until they land on someone too far away for me to see.

"Melody." As soon as the girl hears her name, she begins shoving through the people until she appears next to Will, who is staring at her quite obviously. Turning towards my direction, I feel a hint of jealousy as I take in her extremely Dauntless appearance. She is shorter than Will, yet one could perfectly think that they are a couple. They look aesthetically pleasing. Everything on him perfectly compliments her. Her tight army-patterned shorts and black crop top embrace her petite yet bold hourglass physique. She has a pale complexion which perfectly fits in with her bright green eyes. Her nose is structured so perfectly one would mistake her face as a sculpture. She pulls her tongue through her crimson-colored lips as she begins twirling it around her lip piercing seductively. Looking her down, I find myself staring at her elaborated sleeve tattoo holding different designs to which only she holds her reasoning behind them. And on her right thigh she has a dark skull tattoo. The shading exploiting its sunken and hollow holes for eyes making me shiver as I continue staring at the beautiful piece of art she is walking around with. She leans down, tightening the bandanna tangled around her other thigh. Locking her verdant eyes with mine, she smirks, sticking her tongue out even more, revealing a tongue piercing. I gulp, turning my gaze to Will, who is still staring at the Dauntless-born warrior girl standing cheerfully next to him.

Suddenly she looks up at him, and smiles, leaning against him while she grabs his arm and forces it around her. Gladly, he complies, earning a death glare from Christina. I turn to walk towards where Lynn is, laughing at her irritated expression as she listens to Uriah's animated explanation about how much he loves Dauntless cake.

"Hey, who's Melody?" I ask, attempting my best to hide the envy I still fear coiling inside of me as I recap on her appearance and Dauntless interactions with Will. Lynn snorts, scratching her shaved head.

"She's my cousin. Although she's the same age as us she's always liked hanging out by herself. It's kinda weird seeing her so comfortable with a boy, a transfer especially," she nods towards them, forcing me and Uriah to turn and stare at the couple who are laughing at something way out of our earshot.

"You think she likes him?" Uriah remarks, quirking his eyebrows as I laugh. Lynn shrugs as she shakes her head.

"I hope so to be honest. It'll be good for him to chill with people like her. She's a beast, especially with knives."

"Oh yeah that's true. Tris, one time I got dared to balance an apple on my head while she throws the knives. Let's just say all three were thrown too well." I smile, wishing that I had memories like that.

Before anyone of us have had the chance to change the subject, Eric calls us out.

"Uriah, Tris, it's time." As we walk towards the open exit, Four hands me a tattered compass. Turning one last time, I gaze at Eric who has his eyebrows crinkled together as he bites his lip nervously. I send him a reassuring smile, which gets the leader to let go of his bottom lip as he smirks softly. Feeling Uriah grabbing my arm, he heaves me out and into the open surroundings of nature. We stare back at the train as it begins disappearing into the distant scenery before looking around. The sun is still not up and the bitter, frosty air is scratching my bare cheeks, highlighting every breath I take with a cloud of steam. We squint our eyes as we pick out the characteristics of our surroundings. There are high trees with scarred barks on either side of the train tracks. Looking out, I see distant fields with haystacks. _We must be close to Amity's farms._

"We must be close to Amity's farms," Uriah voices, as I suppress the need to laugh at how accurate his words are with my trail of thoughts. I bob my head, sighing out a quiet 'yeah' as I rub my hands together, attempting to create as much heat from the friction as possible. _The temperature must be around 0 degrees because my hands begin to turn blue._ Taking the compass from my trembling grip, the usually overly-excited boy frowns at my hands as I shrug and shove them in my pockets.

"Don't worry Uri, I'll be okay, it's just a little cold. I'll regulate." I send him a smile but he doesn't look too pleased. Rolling my eyes, I point at the compass.

"Have you been here before?" He pauses before answering. "To be honest, I'm not exactly sure where we are, although...these fields look familiar. Oh I've got it. When I was around five, Zeke would bring me around here and we would practice fighting with each other. Oh my god! There, look! Here I remember I tackled him and I won my first fight against him and so I placed three sticks in the place where he fell." He begins jogging as he slumps to the ground, fixing the three fallen sticks, securing them back into the soil firmly.

"Why three?" I ask out loud as he laughs, shaking his head at the memories. "I couldn't find more." We stand there for a moment as he runs his hand over the soil, before standing up and turning to face me. "The train tracks aren't an idea, so we can either go through the fields; find Amity and then from there we can just walk back to the compound or we can just cut across the tracks and enter the woods. From there we'll probably find our way back into the city because if I remember correctly, the forest is situated right next to the borders of the Candor and Erudite compounds." I stare at him, processing the information before shaking my head.

"If we take the Amity route, we'll waste too much time walking over towards their headquarters. We're still in the outskirts of Chicago when we reach their farms, which means that probably by the time we actually reach them, we could have already been out and near the Erudite headquarters. What's the time estimate of running from Erudite to Dauntless?" He pulls his fingers out from his sleeve and begins counting out loud.

"...uh, like three of four hours, running? Lynn, Marlene and myself used to go there and pull pranks, like setting off stink bombs in their auditoriums and all hahaha. I'd say about that much time." I nod again, pursing my lips together.

"And do you remember how big the forest is?" He widens his eyes as reality hits him. "Shit, it's pretty big too. I'm assuming that we're agreeing on the forest/Erudite plan. Okay then, we need to start walking now. Let's save our sprinting for as later as possible." "Okay." And with that we begin shuffling through the thicket of green and brown. There is comfortable silence around us, either of us relaxing as we hear our combat boots trot through the branches and the decomposed bones of the unlucky animals. Breaking the silence, Uriah sings out his sigh.

"How's you and Eric?" I tense at the sound of his name, as the heat creeps up to my face. "We're okay, I mean, he's been acting really strange these past days."

"Oh really? How?" I think back to his affection in the infirmary and then now in the train. And the way he looks at me. I don't understand that new glint playing around in his eyes.

"Ehh, I don't know. He's just been...weird. Like when I got put in the infirmary last night he comes storming in to see me and he just held me there, whispering the sweetest things. And then before Molly interrupted us he just stared at me so intensely, it was almost as if there was..."

"Love?" He interrupts excitedly. I begin playing with the ends of my hair as I fixate my stare at anywhere but my friend, imagining whether Eric does love me or not. Shrugging quickly, I side-glance at Uriah, who's trying to read my expression. "I told you I really don't know Uri. He's been strange but I don't mind it. Maybe it's his way of opening up about his feelings without him actually saying anything." He grunts in response, pausing before he blurts out, "would you share your first kiss with him?" I turn to stare at him judgmentally, narrowing my eyes as I snort.

"Who says I haven't had my first kiss yes?" He staggers, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Oh no, I was just assuming that coming from Abnegation you guys probably save all the good stuff for after marriage, that's it." I giggle, hitting the back of his head lightly.

"You're right, Abnegation scold at public affection. That's why I sometimes get embarrassed at little things like your sloppy kisses. It's not that I mind them or anything, it's the fact that I've been brought up for sixteen years telling me that what you guys do in public is wrong, and then this sudden change...I really don't mean it." He sighs, putting his arm around me carelessly as he hops over a large hole.

"True true, that doesn't mean that imma stop giving you kisses," he laughs planting another wet smooch on my cheek as I shove away from him. "I guess I'd kiss him, yeah." I whisper under my breath. We begin marching in silence before I break the peace.

"What about you?"

"What about me?" Judging by how nervous he goes, I'm sure there's something going on.

"You know, how's you love life?" He sends me the most panic-stricken glare I've ever seen on him, before attempting to walk forward. He trips on another branch landing face down in a small bush. Laughing hysterically, I pull him up and begin patting his jeans and shirt for him. I look up to meet his extremely red face.

"I don't have one, I mean everyone does but mine doesn't work." I raise my brow at him, huffing as I move away from him, only to collide into his body as he jumps in front of me. "Alright alright, I like...Marlene." He hides his face in his hoodie.

"Why are you shaking your head?" He exclaims. I shrug. "It's kinda obvious you do, I was just waiting for you to tell me." His eyes widen as he opens his mouth a little too widely, but no words come out.

"Of coarse it's obvious! Every single time she pats you or she talks to you, you go this deep crimson color and you lose your words. Even I'm not that bad with Eric, and I'm from Abnegation!"

"Yeah yeah, just because I'm Dauntless doesn't mean that I'm fearless," he responds as I loop my arm through his. "Welcome to the club."

Some few hours later, the sun is already midway up, we check the compass to see whether we're going the right way still until I catch movement from my peripheral sight. Two figures begin emerging from my right side as I rapidly whisper to Uriah. We stop and stare, balling our fists into ready punches as we wait for the right moment to charge. But we visibly relax as we see Marlene and Peter clearer, as they squat through the overgrown branches and leaves.

"Guys what the hell? You scared the shit out of us!" Uriah heaves out, patting his chest. I turn to him. "Haha speak for yourself Uri." I stick my tongue out at him as Marlene and Peter finally reach us. She pulls me into a tight embrace, and from over her shoulder I meet Peter's green eyes. Removing herself out of my reach, Marlene turns to glare at Peter as she begins widening her eyes and tilting her head towards me quickly. He clears his throat as he looks down at the gravel, kicking at the soil. The blonde Dauntless huffs as she rolls her eyes and walks towards Uriah.

" _We_ are going to be ahead of _you_. Over there, far away from being able to listen into your _conversation._ C'mon." She drags a stuttering pink Uriah away before turning and winking at Peter. Sending him a confused frown, I ask, "what was that all about?" He turns away as he scratches the back of his neck.

"Oh uh nothing, we were just talking and you know." He nervously stammers. I ignore him as I begin walking towards Uriah and Marlene's pacing figures. I inwardly curse as I trip over a thick stem, but of coarse, Peter is there to catch me.

"You don't need to save me every single time I decide to trip or fall. It's a natural talent," I say, leaning out of his touch. Judging by his hurt expression, I debate whether I should as him why he began caring about me all of a sudden, but I choose to trot away in silence, with him following me closely.

"What's up with you and Eric?" He spits out through gritted teeth. Narrowing my eyes, I cross my arms around my chest defensively.

"The hell are you talking about? Nothings up between us." He snorts.

"Former Candor here hellooo?" I halt abruptly. I feel anger bubble within me. People can't randomly change just like that.

"What's up with you Peter?" I snarl, immediately feeling a little guilty because I didn't mean it to come out this harshly. He frowns down at me, waiting for me to elaborate.

"Don't look at me like that. You know exactly what I'm talking about. Don't think I haven't forgotten your threat towards me about how you're going to ruin me. I mean, how am I to know that this isn't some twisted way in which you're trying to get back at me for choosing Dauntless? For being a _Stiff?_ " He opens his mouth to answer but I wave him off.

"No. I've been keeping this in me for long enough to not want you to stop me right now. How would _you_ feel if the first thing someone does when they meet you is be a cocky and judgy asshole who see's anyone but himself as more inferior to him? How would you feel if they constantly tripped, insulted and attacked you just because you're less able to protect yourself. And then all of a sudden that same person comes up to you and is like 'hey I'm sorry, let's be friends.'" I lower my voice to a few decibels below my normal voice as I attempt to mimic him. Opening his mouth once more, I walk to him and smack my palm over his mouth.

"I'm still not done yet. It's just..."

A moment later and Peter has managed to pin me to a tree as he holds my wrists above my head. He lays his head on my shoulder and I fight the whole world not to let out a shriek. _I don't want Peter. I want Eric._

"Let me go," I whisper as I struggle under his strong grip. Looking up from my shoulder, he smiles innocently, his lips widening as his dimples form. He relaxes his grip over my wrists and places them on his hips. I try to move them away but his glare makes me tremble, forcing my to abide.

"I'm sorry about how I treated you earlier. Do you want me to be brutally honest with you?" I sheepishly nod as he pulls away, his force causing me to fall to the ground. He begins pacing back and forth and his thoughtful stare giving away that he's carefully going over what he is going to tell me. And then he stops. Turns towards me. And sighs.

"When I saw you climbing the tracks, I've never felt like that before. So my instinct reaction when I first talked to you weren't that nice." He chuckles before grimly carrying on.

"I already had it planned even from before leaving Candor. I knew I was going to choose Dauntless. I knew that I was tired of being a piece of shit and I knew that I needed to find a new company. But then you came along, and I had to keep my hard gaze on you just because I was afraid. Afraid," he repeats, scoffing at himself. I begin standing up as I tell him to continue on with the story as we catch up with the other two.

He is silent in the beginning. But then he...

"Tris I like you!" He blurts out and I can see tears forming in his eyes before he blinks them away with his long, velvet eyelashes. I conceal the fact that the Candor within me wants to brutally break it to him that we aren't meant to be, but part of me pities him. _Even I or Eric have not had the guts to say that to each other._ I grip Peter's hand tightly as I take a deep breath before proceeding.

"I really don't know what to say right now. Honestly, under your cold demeanor that you think will help you with gaining a good status here, I think you're one of the best people I've known. And yeah you really need to work on your first impressions and your flirt skills," we laugh before I continue," but I really don't see us together. Don't get me wrong, you're actually really good-looking, but I'm afraid that if we try and something goes wrong, we are never going to be the way we are now. Close and comfortable with each other. I want us to just be best friends who share once-in-a-while hugs and kisses and secrets and do Dauntless dares and go through hardships when we don't agree with each other's decisions. I just want to know that someone loves me without expecting me to be by their side non other than as a friend.." I inhale again, glancing at his still-calculating look. Leaning towards him, I peck his cheek before tightening my grip on his sweaty palm.

"I just want this to only be a kiss and nothing more or less," I whisper as he hums in response.

"I'm happy that at least you didn't friend-zone me badly where we wouldn't talk again," he murmurs as I shake my head fervently.

"I would never want to lose you as a friend Peter Hayes."

And just like that, Marlene and Uriah reappear in front of us, jumping up and down excitedly as he points at something in front of them.

"We're finally out!"

Letting go of his hand, I yelp in excitement as I run to embrace Marlene and Uriah. I feel Marlene tilt her head on my shoulder just before I hear Peter quietly sigh out "We're just friends and I'm happy with that." Looking over my shoulder, I grab Marlene and we break into a sprint, giggling hysterically as the boys begin chasing us out of the woods and towards Erudite.

We run while the sun is beginning to say its goodbyes to the city, however we are still not catching a glimpse of the Factionless sectors surrounding Dauntless. When we finally do, my heart flutters in excitement as I think about Eric. But then my aura drops dead to the ground as I shamefully can't bring myself to think about my conversation with Peter. We slow down into a jog as we awkwardly pass through the Factionless. A group even threatened us with knives; but Peter and Uriah dealt with it, leaving me and Marlene just growling like kept dogs behind them.

By the time we arrive at the Dauntless rooftop we are all panting and sweating like mad.

"What. Time. Now. Uriah. Is?" I huff out before realizing my mistakes. None of us have the energy to laugh.

"Five. Fifteen. Time. Now." he responds before falling to the ground, me, Marlene and Peter following quickly after him. I hear people laughing over where the ledge was and taking my time; I roll over to see who the voices belong to. Four and Eric? They are civilly talking to themselves, Eric even going as far as patting his fellow instructor's back. But as soon as their eyes land on us, they straighten their postures and begin walking towards us. Eric chuckles as Four kneels down towards me and Marlene as he inspects our dead bodies. Standing back up, he mutters something to Eric, who nods in approval before they both look down at us again, the stormy grey eyes never leaving mine.

"Congratulations. You are the first team to come back before the time finished. Judging by your appearance I see that you are not fit for walking, therefore if you want we can carry you to the compound."

"YES!" Me, Marlene and Uriah gasp out at the same time. Four begins walking towards Marlene just as Eric begins lifting me up as gently as possible.

"Sorry Uriah, we were talking to the girls! Be a man and stand up!" Eric chuckles as the groaning Uriah turns to face us.

"I don't want to be a man now," he mumbles before rolling around in the pebbles, clearly offended by the leaders picking us to carry around instead of him. I grin as I bury my face in Eric's vest. _In moments like this I remember how much I crave him. Am I still afraid though?_

He looks down at me, beaming as he catches my stare. As soon as we are inside one of the thousand hallways, he puts me down roughly before pinning me to the wall, leaning his whole body against me.

"I've missed you," he rumbles as he begins kissing down my neck not-too-gently. I can't restrain my feelings as I voice my moan of pleasure when he begins biting and sucking on only one specific spot on my neck. I know that this is going to affect the future, but somehow in this very moment I can't push him away or say no. _I can't._ I hiss as my neck begins stinging with pain and arousal. At this point, my head is spinning as I try and keep still. He grunts irritably against me as he presses his hand just under my breast, as he tries to stop me from trembling under his kiss. When he is done with my neck, he kisses it gently, trailing up the crook of my neck until he reaches my jawline, then he begins peppering me with more kisses, letting his lips graze the corner of my mouth, but not quite getting there.

 _I am relieved._

Although he has made me feel like never before, I am still low-key afraid that he will overstep his boundaries and completely freak me out. _He knows though. He wouldn't._

Pulling away from my face completely, he bites my earlobe before moaning my name in my ear as he crushes me even more against the wall. Although the only thing I did to him was put my arms around his neck and run my hands through his hair every once in a while; he seems extremely pleased. I smile at him, biting my lip as I explore his untouched neck, biting him carefully and not as forcefully as he did.

We hear the laughs of an approaching group of Dauntless who are heading towards the Pit where yet another celebration has started. Angrily scowling, he pushes himself off of me and onto the other wall opposite me, straightening his back as I bow my head, pulling my hair out of my hair tie. As soon as they back he lunges at me, but is interrupted by Four's loud echoing voice.

"Eric!"

"WHAT?"

"Come, Max is trying to find you to talk to you before the celebration." He rolls his eyes, frowning as I lace my fingers with his.

"Okay, I'll be there in a sec." He bellows back before fixing his vest and looking down at his trousers before chuckling nervously.

"Thanks Tris, I know you don't mean it but I hope Max doesn't ask any questions," he grins before walking off leaving me confused as to what he meant...until it hits me.

 _Oh...oops?!_

Not feeling like I'm in the mood for dancing and facing Peter just yet, I make my way to our dormitories, which to my luck, is completely empty. I gasp at the sight of my neck. There are tiny purple love-bites on the side of my neck and then just one big blemish of blue and purple positioned a little below the side of my jawline. Stripping and hopping into the shower, I switch the water pressure as I hear the unmistakable voices of Will and Christina as they make their way to our bathroom.

"I told you Christina: We. Are. Not. Together. Leave me alone!" Will exhales, his voice raspy and deep as he attempts to stride away from her. For a moment I think that she is gone, but then I hear her quick footsteps following Will's before I hear him curse loudly.

"Why did you kiss her? I thought we were together!" She wails as Will stomps his foot on the tiles.

"WE'RE NOT TOGETHER YOU FREAK. I decided to stick up for you when you got into a fight with Tris just because I felt like you needed someone by your side too. She had the Dauntless-born and you had no one. Clearly I picked the wrong side." He spat out at her.

"And Melody? Why did you kiss her. Just tell me!" The walls of the bathroom intensifying the powers of her loud voice, forcing me to cringe.

"That's none of your damn business what we are and what we do. As a matter of fact, she treats me like a normal human being. UNLIKE YOU. You're obsessed Chris, and we've talked about this thousands of times but you don't seem to get it. I'm sorry but I don't want to have to do anything with you from now on." He yells before storming out of the bathroom.

It's all quiet and so I begin believing that Christina has trotted away with him, until I hear her overly dramatic exhales.

"Oh love, you think I'm obsessed? I'll show you what obsessed is." Grabbing something metallic off of the sink counter, she walks away loudly, making me shiver at the thought of her hidden intentions.


	21. Hidden Threats

"AHHHH"

Jerking out of my sleep, I gasp as the darkness of the dormitory room assaults me blindly. Thinking it was just a bad nightmare, I brush off the bloodcurdling screech that woke me up and I begin making myself comfortable until another cry of agony fills the bitter atmosphere. The hairs on my neck begin to tingle just as I step out of the bed to see what's going on. Peter- who has swapped cots with Christina beside me- begins yawning and muttering out his confusion as he, too sits up. Another screech of pain is heard and this time it makes the blood clot within my veins as my stomach acids rises up towards my throat.

 _Will._

Not bothering to put my boots on to protect my feet from the cement floor, I start hurrying towards the source of the howls.

"Get the lights!" Someone shouts around me as someone else staggers towards the switches. As soon as the light encloses me and my fellow initiates, we all begin choking and gasping as our eyes rest on the body slumped on the floor.

There he was, surrounded by a pool of _too much blood_. He had his back towards the rest of the room, his cries slowly filling our confused cores with even more fear and exasperation. _No one is safe._ Circling him fearfully, I do a double take when I realize what the source of this bleeding is. Will has his palm clutched tightly over the center of his collarbone- _too close to the neck_ , and under it I can visibly delineate a hole drilled into his skin, through where an endless amount of blood was spitting out from.

Not thinking twice, I drop down to the floor, carefully holding onto his head as I place his body over me, cradling him and rocking back and forth. He begins choking, and with every cough he makes, more blood spatters out. I put a palm over his wound as I place my other in his hair- desperately trying to calm him down. _He's in hysterics and wasting his energy on crying is making it worse._ His body shudders under mine in fear as the pain takes him over.

"Shh, it's okay Will, you'll be okay." I feel him nod as his head begins to droop to the side in an uneasy manner. Looking down at his hand, his complexion, his skin was deathly white, nearly grey. Cursing under my breath, I clutch onto his open laceration, I can feel myself being sick. Keeping it in, I shudder in both fear and anger as no one is here to help us.

"What the fuck are you waiting for? Call someone!" I snarl, unable to contain myself any much longer. Squeezing Will again, I feel myself go dizzy as I take in the amount of blood covering him, covering the floor. _Covering me._ It takes everything in me not to begin sobbing as I wish I am with Eric. _His initiate is hurt. He should be here._ I crinkle up my nose as I detect someone being sick around me, causing my stomach to flip as I gag involuntarily. Shaking my head out of the near-disgorge, I take a deep breath as I skim around the room, counting who is with us and who is not. Peter ran to call the leaders, or Four; Molly is the asshole vomiting and Drew is beside her, shuffling awkwardly. Edward is calming Myra who is in hysterics and Al is pacing back and forth as he is talking to himself. The only person missing is...

"Christina," Will stifles out, his bleached face looking up at me. I shush him again, trying to contain my fury towards my former 'best friend'. I gaze down only to catch Will's once content and overly-excited beryl eyes rolling to the back of his head. I jump up and begin slapping him across the face, unable to suppress a whine of fear.

"No no no no, Will wake up. Stop it. No c'mon you can do it. Yes! Open your eyes and look at me. Good! Keep your eyes on me." He expels out more blood from his mouth before fixing his orbs filled with torment on me, searching for relief. Two nurses rush to the rescuse, followed by Four, as they lift him up and heave him out of the room. My breathing goes quick and shallow as I wipe a blood-stained hand over my forehead, leaving stains of crimson liquid on my face. All the noise gets absorbed into a ringing and a banging noise in my eardrums just as the commotion happening around me turns into a blurry mess right before my eyes. Dark blotches appear at the side of my eyesight and I blurt out a weep. My body is shaking uncontrollably under the cold surface of the floor, matching the icy surface of my stomach inside me. _He's going to be okay._ These words rolled over and over and over again in my head, but something else tells me that it's not true. I _want_ it to be true. I stay with my eyes closed, fully awake yet not fully in control of my body. I hear the same two deep voices arguing with each other.

"What the hell happened? Why didn't anyone call me earlier?" His voice chimed in from the top of the stairs and with every step he takes it becomes clearer, louder and angrier.

"Not sure, maybe it's your intimidating looks. Besides, which initiate is stupid enough to disturb you out of everyone at three in the morning?" I hear the sneer in Four's voice as Eric scoffs, not replying. I hear him halt in his steps, before increasing his pace and slumping on the ground besides my rag-doll body.

"I thought it was only Will who got hurt," he spits out through gritted teeth, running his hands over my stomach and chest to see if there are any sources that might explain the ghastly amount of blood I am painted in.

"Yeah, it was him who only got hurt. Judging by her appearance and what the other initiates told me, Tris was the only one who threw herself to help her bleeding buddy." Eric chuckles.

"What's funny about that Eric?" Four snarls, his steps faltering away from us as he grumbles sharply to himself.

"What's _not_ funny is that one of _your_ initiates is in the infirmary, getting ready for surgery with a deep stab wound in his shoulder. If Max hears about this and he's bound to, you're dead, me included. So don't get all cocky with me and figure out how to deal with this _situation."_ The leader yells back before I feel the force of him slapping me across the face, pulling me out of the momentary comma I was consumed in.

Gaining my full consciousness and cursing whoever took it away from me, I squint one eye open, gazing up at Eric and taking in his hella tired face. He has bags under his eyes and his hair is messy at the top. _I just want to reach out and ruffle it._ He tilts his head to the side, frowning as he bites his bottom lip with thought. His face lights up before it drops rapidly as he begins scooping me up in his arms.

"What? Eric someone is going to see..." I trail off, still drowsy but stop abruptly under his hard, cold stare.

"Hang on...can you pretend like you've fainted for me?" I widen my eyes at him, knitting my brows together in bewilderment. He presses his palm onto my soaked tank top before moving his grip to the side.

"Tris," he growls, causing a reaction in my gut as I falsely fall limp in his arms. He chuckles, leaning in as he pulls me up with him effortlessly, whispering "good girl," in my ear. We make our way out of the dormitory, now empty because all of the transfers are being put in the dauntless-born sleeping compartments to prevent any more accidents from occurring. We pass through several hallways and I allow myself to squint my eyes here and there to get an image as to where we might be going. All of a sudden, the scenario of what happened rolls through my mind, making me flinch and sick to my stomach.

"What the hell you doing Eric?" Four bellows as he nears us, causing me to relax even more.

"Sorry mom, she woke up and fainted when she saw all the blood, so I'm taking her to the Infirmary so they can get her cleaned up...and shit." Eric barks out, but judging by his tone, Four isn't taking the bait. "I am a leader, _Four_! _Your_ leader. Don't forget. I can do whatever I want so move out the way." He shoves past him, sighing when we are a safe distance from the pissed-off instructor.

"Where are we..."

"Shh," he whispers. "We're nearly there."

I open my eyes only to be greeted by the dimly lit _Leadership_ _Apartment_ corridor. _Oh well now I know where he's taking me._ He boots open door number 104 like he did the last time, but instead of setting me down, he bumps his behind to close the door and strides in with me to the bathroom. Setting me down on the sink counter, I let out a soft yawn, forcing my eyes to tear up just as he leans against me, his close proximity makes me wrap my legs around him. Looking up into his troubled, grey eyes, I catch him frowning. Smiling warmly, I let my stare linger over his lips for far too long as a million questions and scenarios pop in my head. He catches me and begins smirking as he rests his forehead against mine.

"I know what you're thinking, but I don't want it to happen for the first time when you're draped on my counter whilst covered in a severe amount of blood...maybe the second or third time I wouldn't mind it but..." We laugh as he trails his hand down and up my rib-cage as I remember my markings on my neck.

"Eric!" I snap, pushing my hair to the side as I reveal his past kisses resting deeply on my neck. He grins from ear-to-ear, burying his face in my neck, this time just breathing me in and nuzzling his face closer. I groan, agitated that I can't tell him off properly.

"No! Stop you're distracting me, I'm supposed to be pissed at you and I was planning on lecturing you..." I shiver as he pulls away, pouting mockingly. "Go on then," he nods, crossing his arms across his chest as he attempts not to laugh.

"What the hell are you thinking!? Marking me during the initiation period is so dangerous. If people find out that we're... _close_ , they'll start spreading rumors about how...I might be sleeping my way up or something," I huff, narrowing my eyes as he bursts into laughter. "What are you laughing at? Why did you do this? It isn't like anyone else is going to get me anytime soon," I continue, wavering my arms out like a child. He steps up again, squeezing my top, blood dripping down his hand as he uses the fabric to draw my body closer to his.

"I just wanna be sure that no one even _tries_ touching you. That's it," he moans, shrugging lightly. "And anyways because you come from Abnegation, the 'sleeping to rank high' trick is bound to happen." I laugh.

"I mean I can always say that Peter gave me the hickeys right?"

He stiffens.

 _Shit._

"So can I shower now?" I stutter nervously, wincing at his hard and calculating gaze as his arm tightens around my hip selfishly.

"Why Peter?" His voice threateningly low as I gulp loudly. Sighing, I give in under his glare as I touch his cheek, but he moves away. I frown, hurt by his sudden jolt.

"When we were trying to find our way back to the compound with Uriah, we met Peter and Marlene. Marlene pulled Uriah away and left me and Peter alone." He grits his teeth as he lets go of my waist, and instead he grips the counter until his knuckles turn white. " _Nothing_ happened. He told me he had feelings for me but I said that I don't see him in that way and that he is like a brother to me. Which is true. I wouldn't do anything with anyone else apart from you." I barely sigh the last part out loud, and I hope that he didn't hear me. I reach for his face again before he grabs my arms and hangs them loosely around his neck. His grey eyes drill into mine as his lips part slightly. I purr, tilting my head to the side as he strokes my cheek. We continue staring into one another's souls, gazing deeply to find reassurance and happiness.

"I was only joki..." Before I can finish, he wraps an arm around my waist, lifting my chin and pressing his lips against mine, passionately. I find myself melting into his harsh touch. Grabbing both of my hips, he tugs me closer to him. He tickles the crease of my mouth with the tip of his tongue, manipulating my lips to separate out of the fear of what will happen if I reject his wishes. I pull onto his untamed hair as he firms his hold on me; pulling me to press onto his body. The friction between our clothes forcing his shirt to undeniably soak up part of the blood held within mine. I feel him suck on my bottom lip, a moan escaping through my mouth during the process. Seeming that we're going into deep waters I am not ready to enter, I break the kiss, panting heavily. Eric groans angrily, shoving in one more kiss before pecking on my cheek and jawline sweetly. My insides are on fire as something tingles within me for the first time. For a few seconds I am breathless. _Afraid. In shock._ My body can't control itself as I whimper in pleasure, desperate to have him connected to me again. He places his lips on my collarbone and begins trailing up, his tongue partly out, leaving a trail of warm saliva over my neck and shoulder.

"Whatever happened to waiting for the time when I am 'not draped over your counter whilst being covered in a sever amount of blood'?" I raise my eyebrow at him as he replies with the same gesture, brushing his nose against mine.

"You're mine and _no one_ else's." He murmurs, moaning as my hands find his hair again. Already craving more, I place my fingers over his lips letting them graze over him, mesmerized. He looks at me as he bites my index finger seductively. I ruffle his hair, tucking on it as he grins at me before it disappears just as fast as it appeared. "You really like my hair don't you?" I giggle as my following actions make his statement true."I could say the same thing about you." He tilts his head and to my delight, he looks surprised when he finally acknowledges how his fingers were buried around my locks. He moves back slightly and sadly pouting as he says, "let's get you cleaned up."

Anxiety rushes through me as I realize that I obviously need to strip to get rid of the blood. _I don't want to be naked in front of him!_ As if hearing my thoughts, he disappears for a moment, before coming back with a shirt and a pair of loose pants. He throws them at me and smirks at me.

"Don't worry, I'm not going to pry on you until you're not ready. But when you are, I'm not promising anything." He winks as he turns to his heels, closing the bathroom door behind me and leaving me blushing like a madwoman.

I take a steamy, hot shower- the blood mixing with the water under my feet. When I'm done, I hum to myself as I wrap one of his black towels around me before I turn towards the mirror and I smirk.

Running a finger across the cold, steamy surface of the mirror, I trail the words ' _I love it when you don't gel your hair_ _._ " I accompany the message with a sloppy heart before turning to dry myself and begin dressing up in his clothes.

Although the pants are elastic, they barely go around my waist, so I have to hold on them as I walk out and into the living room, where I see him resting on the couch, elbows resting on his knees as he daydreams about who knows what. Hearing the quiet creak of my steps, he twists to gape at me, a small blush creeping up to his face before he turns away and clears his throat out. I laugh lightly, walking over to him, trying hard not to trip over the long material covering my legs. He sits up, motioning me to sit next to him. I shake my head slightly, thinking hard for a way to get him into the bathroom.

"uh..I left the towel and bloody clothes on the floor. I didn't know what to do with them." He sighs lightly, before grunting as he heaves up. "Sit down, I'll figure it out."

Hitting me on the head lightly as he walks by, I jump on the couch, listening intently to any signs of realization. I hear him hum as he walks in and picks up the heavy, soaked-up material. The sound of water drowning his actions, causing me to eagerly wait for his return or retort. I listen to him stop what he's doing as a low chuckle escapes from his mouth. Grinning, I slump back down into the couch, hoping that he will run out and kiss me again.

 _But he doesn't._

Fear creeps up within me as I overthink the message. _What if I offended him? What if he thought that I think that he doesn't look attractive with gelled-up hair?_ I wrap my arms around myself, feeling a knot of anxiety drill its way within me. I frown when he comes back, picks me up and settles me on his lap. He doesn't say anything about the mirror, he just gazed at me as I snort at my lazy attempt to flirt. _Way to go team Abnegation._

"What's wrong?" He coos, ebbing away the sense of anger sizzling within me. "Nothing!" I spit out a little too hard, making him glare at me. Sliding over his knees to be closer to him, I give him a shoulder-massage, fixating most of the pressure on the knots I feel in his muscles. He sighs, relaxing under my touch as his head falls towards my chest. I continue kneading him carefully, humming to myself until I hear him let out a strange noise. Inclining as I look at his face that is still resting on my torso, I swallow in a laugh when I see that he is fast asleep. Taking advantage of his vulnerable and heavy-in-sleep state, I play with the top part of his hair, where it's longer and softer compared to his buzzed-off sides. Planting a kiss on the top of his head, I take him in my arms, placing him carefully on the couch. He adjusts to a comfortable for him position before his hand searchingly reaches for mine. Squeezing it gently, he smiles in his sleep before turning away to the other side. Listening to his steady breaths, I am lured into another dreamless kingdom.

* * *

I awaken to find him still soundlessly dozing under me. I groggily kiss his nose before sitting up and stretching. Gazing at his bookshelf, I walk over to it, rubbing the side of my face but happily smiling at the thought that I smell of him. Running my fingers over the dark, mahogany bookshelf, I pick a random book up- _The History of the Factions_ \- and flicker through the pages. The scent of the old book is like a drug to me. It calms me down and makes me feel numb. _Just like Eric._ Although I do not concentrate on its content, I begin thinking about where he might be from. I mean, he's got books and sometimes he doesn't act like a Dauntless would- could he be...

"I can get used to waking up on my couch...not alone though." I jump up, nearly dropping the heavy book as I turn to meet the eyes of a still-tired, cocky Eric.

 _I swear he's always tired. And always adorably cocky._

I cringe, although I can't help thinking this way.

"I'm sorry...I didn't mean to pry." I bite my lip as he shrugs it off, sending me a rare, warm smile. "It's alright, we all get curious from time to time."

Leaving the book back in its place, I run back in his arms as he smooches my forehead sloppily. "What time is it?" I think out loud. He answers even though I look at the clock on the wall. "Eight fifteen." I nod thankfully before rubbing my hand over his toned bicep. We sit in silence.

"Well, I'm going to take a shower and get ready to go meet Max to discuss the accident..."

"Christina!" I blurt out. "It was Christina." He clenches his jaw as he rolls his grey eyes. "I wouldn't be surprised to be honest. Did you see her do it?" I bob my head in the negative.

"No, but Will told me so yesterday. Besides, after I left you yesterday evening in the hallway, I went to shower and I heard them arguing. Then Christina picked something metal from the counter and muttered out some threat." I exhale angrily. He squeezes my thigh.

"Don't worry about it. I'll figure this all out."

"Are we going to continue training then today?"

"No, we've had some accidents like this before and usually the next day we give you a day off, since it's traumatic and what-not." His nonchalant tone makes me tremble until he casts me a strange look. Standing up, he walks towards the bathroom, turning to side-glance at me before barely closing the door. Coming out ten minutes later, dripping wet, he makes his way to the bedroom without even acknowledging me. "You may use the bathroom if you like," he calls out.

I hurry towards to bathroom but my spirits drop when I see that _only_ steam is covering the mirror. Huffing out as loudly as I can, I brush my teeth with the extra toothbrush and the mint toothpaste before making my way to the kitchen. _He's taking too long and I want to treat him with something._

The kitchen is small and cute, compared to his enormous bedroom and living room. Everything looks too clean. The counters are glossy and the marble coat covering them glisten as the sun hits the cold surface. I begin making scrambled eggs and bacon, using all the material I find in the steel fridge that's taller than me. As soon as the aroma permeates towards the bedroom, he strides out towards the kitchen, sitting on the counter seats as he props himself with his elbows, his grey eyes narrowed as he watches my every move with pleasure as I continue squeezing out a fresh orange in the glass cups before me. I push a plate towards him and sit beside him with mine. We eat in comfortable silence, each of us taking turns glancing sideways at each other. His stares are full of lust and passion. Mine are full of confusion and bewilderment. _He has done something to himself but I can't put my finger around it._

I continue taking quick glimpses at him as I wash the dishes. He insisted that he can do it by himself, but for once he gave in under my glare. Wiping my hands in the towel, I prop myself against the counter, crossing my arms as I stare at him, searching for answers. He mimics my moves, probably waiting for me to catch up. And then it hits me like a train.

 _He isn't wearing gel in his hair for once!_

Squealing excitedly, I rush over to Eric, pulling his face down as I run my hands through his soft hair. He chuckles, lifting me up and pushing me against the wall. I ignore the pain as I'm too focused on his hair and the excitement that he _did_ in fact see the message.

"Why didn't you say something from before?" I whine.

"And miss your reaction? Haha no thanks. I figured that you'd be mad if I didn't say anything about it right away so I decided to just surprise you. I'm so glad I did, " he chuckles again, raising a brow at my frightened stare. Before he can ask me the obvious, I lean down and peck him on the lips rather awkwardly, but it still does the job. He leans in for more but I turn my face to his neck, my nose touching it gently. I hear him sigh as he lets me go sadly, a frown on his face.

"I don't want us to go too fast Eric." I say, cursing that I am a former Abnegation freak. He shakes his head.

"Don't be Tris. I understand how new this is to you. And on top of that, you know we can't be anything until you don't figure out your ranks." I nod silently, my insides ripping apart as I angrily hate myself for not being a full-fledged Dauntless. "Believe it or not this is new to me too. I've never _been like this_ with a girl. It was usually more like a one-night stand and then onto the next one. But not you..." He continues, searching through my eyes.

"Why not? What's so special about me that you don't treat me like the rest?" My voice is unnecessarily hoarse as I'm still trying to swallow up the difficulty of this situation. He stops for a moment, thinking over what he is going to say.

"You know, I barely know you," I continue, slightly moving away from him. Shifting his eyes to the clock, Eric sighs deeply before pulling me into a tight hug.

"I need to go. Go visit Will or find Uriah and them lot. _Don't be alone_. At one point I'll probably try and find you since Max will probably want to use your information to write a report and to prove that it is Christina..." He grabs my wrist, rubbing it as he continues, but refusing to make eye contact. "and uh...after that...we can come back here and have dinner or something...and just get to know each other even more." I nod eagerly, kissing his cheek sweetly before following him towards the door.

Sending me off with a flirty smirk, we break apart as I begin walking towards the infirmary.

* * *

I enter the Infirmary which has decided to become my second home since I tend to spend a bit too much time either lingering around the hospital beds or actually being in one. After a nurse nods her head in the direction the stabbed initiate's bed, I pace hurriedly until I stop short, taking in the little scene unfolding in me. In the hospital bed, lay Will; and over him is a curled up Melody. She is holding his head as he lays on her side, sleeping peacefully as she rests her chin on his head lightly, her hands running through his jet black hair. I take a step forward, forcing her to squint her eyes open before sighing deeply, smirking softly. I slump down on the edge of the bed, moving towards them when her hand wavers for me to come closer. I bite my lip in anticipation, the memories flooding back once again.

"Who did this?" She shoots at me, her green eyes blazing with fire. I gulp, feeling guilty that I have to protect Christina for the sake that Eric is the one who should impose the punishment, not us.

"I don't know." I frown, shrugging when she apologizes for her blunt tone. "Call me Mel, by the way. I can't stand being called by my full name because my mom and Lynn only use it to tell me off if I did something serious." I extend my hand, shaking her pale one as I invite her to call me 'Tris.' We sit back and sigh in turns, daydreaming until her anger breaks the silence in half.

"How do you think I felt, waking up to find out that your boyfriend has been stabbed and taken into surgery?" I gape at her.

"B-boyfriend?" She begins playing with her lip piercing, pulling her tongue out to turn the ring every once in a while. "Well yeah, why?"

"I'm sorry, I'm just taking it in, didn't you meet like a day ago?" She smirks.

"Abnegation," she mutters before continuing..."yeah, so?" There is definite resemblance in her relation with Lynn. There is _no_ doubt about that.

"We've had plenty of time to get to know each other in the woods." I feel a blush sweep across my face as I hide my uncomfortable state behind the action of clearing my throat. She laughs at me as quietly as possible, but her shuddering movements slowly stir Will out of his sleep. He shakes his head groggily, his green eyes contrasting the redness around them. He begins sitting up only to be pulled back by Melody's firm grip around his sides. "No baby stop you're going to hurt yourself." He complies, reaching for my hand as I come closer to them, taking his cold hand slowly in my palm. I purse my lips together in a fake smile. _I still can't look him in the eyes without seeing his grey complexion, his sunken eyes and his bodily fluids around me._ A tear escapes from my eyes.

"What happened?"

"You were attacked. You lost a lot of blood and they had to operate on you but you're fine now. You'll be okay." Before I can finish, Mel blurts out the same thing she welcomed me with.

"Do you know who did this to you?" She urgently whispers, staring her boyfriend down as he shoots me a glare to keep my mouth shut. I nod quickly before she jerks her head to meet my stare.

"I was too busy bleeding out, sorry." He murmurs, turning to kiss her cheek.

It makes me really sad when I see public affection between two individuals, because they just remind me of me and Eric. More like what me and Eric cannot be and probably never will. Who knows whether he's just sticking around with me for the time being until someone else pops by. I push my gaze away from their intimate moment, heaving up and heading towards the shut curtain. The anxiety expels in the form of a sad sigh.

"Oh uh, get well soon Will. Mel." We nod at each other and she smiles in deep gratitude and thankfulness before I tug on the curtain. Closing the scene behind me and beginning to head out, someone pulls me rapidly before she straightens out her black uniform. Eyeing her from head to toe, her familiar features scream of final recognition.

 _Sara._

This is the first time I actually get to properly take her in. She is not much taller than me, but the way she holds herself emanate the feeling of massiveness. Her high-arched brows conceal the ugly frown that appears to be craved into her face as her everyday look, a tiny crease in between her eyebrows forming. She has chipped, dark nail varnish and she seems to be always fiddling around with either her fingers or her pen. Her dirty blonde hair with random colored streaks here and there is always pulled up into a messy bun planted in the middle of her head, revealing her oval face structure which surprisingly seems slimmer due to the dimple piercings decorating either side of her face.

 _There is something off about her aura though..._

"Um hey?" I raise my eyebrows as she looks around us timidly before ushering me towards her tiny office found behind the Infirmary full of casualties. Locking the door behind her, she pushes me into one of the leather chairs and props herself on the one behind the desk. I rub my hands together, unaware of what is going on.

"Care to tell me why I'm kidnapped here?" She laughs before extending her hand.

"Sara. Head nurse of the Dauntless compound. I am just a little curious as to why you acted like this."

"Tris," I mutter before glaring her down, shaking her hand quickly before pulling away with useless force because she too, moves away. "Act like what? What did I do?" She leans back, tapping away on the handles.

"Last night I had to file a report about an attacked initiate and the only reason as to why we were able to save him was because you stopped him from bleeding out on the dormitory floor. How did you do it?" I snort.

 _This is so stupid._

"What do you mean how I did it? Common sense? He was bleeding on the floor so my instincts acted up and I just pressed on the laceration to put pressure until you came." She shakes her head again as I growl.

"That was very um...selfless of you..." I lose my shit as I angrily rise to my feet, stomping my combat boots onto the floor.

"Oh so did you think that you're going to use the fact that I _helped_ my friend as a reason to find another way to label me as a _Stiff_?" I am so agitated to the point where I have to take rapid, hollow breaths in between every few words. Her face crinkles in nervousness as she cracks her knuckles.

"No no, that isn't what I meant...it's just...you know, here in Dauntless, accidents like these ones are supposed to be fought by the person under the attack only. With no help. That is why we were forced to come down later. He had to try and fight it until the very end." I feel my strings rip as I kick the imaginary rocks on the ground.

"What the hell? So you're saying that no matter how severely hurt the person is, you're going to wait until his very last moments and only _then_ you're going to act like a hero? That's disgusting and reckless." I spit out, running my hands through my hair as I try and calm down.

"It's how Dauntless works honey. If you aren't able to watch and save your own back you cannot depend on someone else to do it for you." Her tone composes and tells me to quieten down as I begin striding backwards and forward across the room. I want to prove her wrong, but it makes too much sense. _After all we signed up for a life full of recklessness. There must have been a price to be payed._

"So what do you want from me? Because clearly helping my friend who was bleeding to death makes _me_ the bad guy." She stands up, hovering until she's inches away from me.

"I just wanted to say that your bravery...and that little amount of apparent selflessness you need to work on getting rid of- although they aren't likable traits in Dauntless has given you my respect. Not everyone would jump to the ground and drown in the blood of another initiate, especially one with the higher rank. Therefore, I have an offer." I raise my eyebrows again to force her to continue.

"I want you to begin working here in the Infirmary with me. I need some more help around here anyways. These days there's something bothering everyone and the number of attacks are increasing. I have talked to Max and he is more than happy to get you involved since I can 'keep and eye on you more often'." I frown.

"Why would he care about me?"

Sara hesitates for a moment.

"...Leadership stuff. Not our business. Think about it Tris. It can give you extra credit for the ranks."

"Isn't that cheating?" She laughs, standing up as she makes her way to the door with me by her side.

"It isn't cheating if Max knows about it and is partly 'to blame' for this suggestion." She winks, but I just narrow my eyes.

"Look, don't think about it too much okay? It'll be for a short period of time since you've proved that you have the potential of saving people and times are hard now, and we have a limited choice. Tomorrow's Visitation Day. If you can pop by at any time of the day, or even after your fights it'll be easier than waking you up in the middle of the night." She begins closing the door.

"Wait!" I kick my foot to prevent the door from shutting any more. "What if I don't want to accept?" Sara's mood darkens as she eyes me down suspiciously.

"You don't want to do that."

 _Slam._

The wooden door finally barricaded me out of her office, leaving me empty, gobsmacked and confused as to what had just happened. _These days everything is just getting weirder and weirder. And I'm not sure if that's a good or a bad thing._

"Tris."

Looking back to the person standing in the doorway, I freeze.


	22. Regret

**Thank you so so much to the people who are still reading the story. It truly means a lot. An even bigger thank you to the people who have spent the time to actually leave a review. You have no idea how happy I am when I read them! Hope you enjoy x**

A raspy battle cry emerges out of my mouth as I lunge at her, catching her off guard as we topple out of the Infirmary. Positioning myself over her shocked and trembling with anger body, I use my knees to squeeze against her still-healing pelvis. She squeals in pain and I can see her eyes watering as she begins panting. Grabbing her flailing hands and hitting them against the floor. She wriggles helplessly under me, I hear angry footsteps rushing towards us. I don't need to turn to know who else wants to join in this fight.

"Stay out of it Mel," I snarl. _I know she wants Christina dead, but knowing her, she probably will beat her till death, which might grant her a place with the Factionless._

Turning back towards Christina, she spits on my face, causing me to stagger back and recoil slowly after the slight surprise. She slaps me hard across the face before swapping the position and collapsing over me, pulling at my hair. Although the burning sensation of her grasp hurts, I don't back down as I knee her in the abdomen.

"Fuck!" She screeches as the tears stream down her face. Holding one hand up in retaliation, she begins dragging herself away from me. Gritting my teeth, I am not done with her. Sliding towards her, I punch her hard in the nose releasing a quick flow of blood. Smirking, I squeeze her shoulders painfully hard as she gags out a sob before turning her huge eyes in my direction, her glare slightly causing me to flinch. I don't show it though.

"It wasn't a very clever thing for you to come here when you specifically know that after the attack there's no way in hell Will would be left by himself. You're so lucky it's me holding you instead of Melody. Aren't you tired of causing drama?" She shakes her head, smiling slightly and revealing the image of her once white teeth, now covered in blood. I scoff, shaking my head.

"You're pathetic," I mutter, clasping onto her shoulder-blade with as much force as I can possibly have in my fatigued body.

"He deserved it. No normal person would choose that Dauntless-born _bitch_ over me," she barks out, a dark glint of fire burning within her eyes. Reaching behind me at the right time, I grab hold of Mel's charging movement towards Christina. Shaking my head as I pull on her jean fabric, she sends Christina a hard glare before pushing through the one-again, growing crowd of bystanders who are judging thoughtfully the 'quarrel.'

Before I can hurt her one last time, I feel Eric's arm snake around my waist, ripping me out of my dominant position. Looking down at Christina, Four does the same action, but instead of doing it gracefully like the leader, he hauls her up roughly like a ragged punching bag. I jump as Eric roars out; "shuffle away, there's nothing for you to be staring and cheering at." Moments later it is just me, Christina, Eric and Four facing each other in the otherwise empty corridor. Looking down and refusing to meet his eyes, I remember how he told me to stay out of trouble. _And here I am starting another petty fight._

"The Stiff started it!" She yells pointing a trembling finger towards me. I look up, clenching my jaw as I stomp my foot, fighting hard the urge to walk over to her and headbutt her.

"That's very Dauntless of you to say," I grumble angrily glancing at Four and Eric exchanging strange stares as the latter steps closer to me- probably because he senses my fury. I sigh.

"Yeah it's pretty obvious that I did start the fight. It's not like you have the guts to do something like this. You think you're all powerful behind your words but guess what. This isn't Candor. So call me what you want but I'm not the one who stabbed a _friend_ in the throat just because I was jealous that he likes someone else. Someone who isn't _mentally unstable_ ," my voice rattles as I steady against the wall, a whirling sensation engulfing me for a second.

"Pfft," she scoffs, "First off..."

"Are you done yet? I think it's time for you to shut your mouth before you get into more trouble, _Candor_." Eric shoots at her with a somber glare, and for once Four seems to agree with him because I catch the slight movement of him bobbing his head in agreement. Christina purses her lips together.

"Now then, let's visit Max shall we?" Eric chuckles. I frown, looking up at him. Although he was laughing just a moment ago, his eyes are cold and his eyebrows are furrowed.

"Do I come or...?"

"No."

"Yes." Four and Eric state at the same time. They glare at each other.

 _Here we go again..._

"You don't."

"You do." They say it again at the same time. I cross my arms irritably, looking at my superiors with a questioning stare. Eric steps up towards me, turning me around forcefully yet gently pressing on my back to begin walking towards I don't even know where.

"We need you to give us the details about last night's attack since you're the one who initially talked and helped Will. And you..." He points at Christina, "You're coming with us because we need to figure out what your punishment is. Removal of points, lowering of your rank...factionless...death." She yelps as he laughs coldly when he finishes his sentence. "We may be cold-blooded soldiers but Dauntless _never_ attack someone out of jealousy or some other bullshit reason. That's called cowardice and cowards aren't fit for Dauntless." Tapping on my back, he leads the way towards the Leadership offices.

I don't need to turn around but I can hear Christina struggle against Four as he drags her behind us. I quicken my pace as I attempt to fall into step with Eric.

"Not too close," he whispers, not even bothering to face me. I nod stupidly- _It's not like he'll see me._

He sighs softly before glancing back at me, giving me his flirty smirk. I roll my eyes before slowing down, increasing the distance between us. We reach a frosted glass door that conceals whatever is happening inside. Straightening his posture and clearing his throat, Eric glances back at me again, smiling lightly before knocking on the door.

"Don't worry," he whispers, shifting his eyes back to the door.

"Come in," another deep voice echoes through the barricaded office.

* * *

The room is spacious and somewhat gloomy, even though right in front of us, behind him and his enormous desk area, there is a meter long window, stretching out widely so one can easily see Chicago through there. I want to move my eyes, or even walk towards the bookshelf and just look around, not necessarily out of nosiness, merely because I am curious. _What does the Leader have as possessions?_

"Would you join us Tris?" Max' voice breaks me away from my sudden lethargic reverie. Humming, I whip my head back to him, glancing at how he is propping himself onto the glass surface of the desk. I glance at how Eric is standing behind him, arms crossed, his chin jutted forward as he glares out of the office window. I also glance at how Four shoves Christina into one of the two uncomfortable-looking seats propped in front of Max before stepping back and squeezing my shoulder. My face feels a little heated as I shuffle over towards the empty seat Max is pointing at; the sound of the scraping legs grinding against the floor making me cringe as I distance myself from red-eyed and whimpering Christina.

Sighing tiredly, Max rolls his neck, the black leader tattoos stretching over his darker complexion. Stretching his hand across the desk, he snatches a printed file before reading through its content. I play with my fingers, casually looking up once in a while at Eric- who is now leaning against the window frame, still scowling, but this time at the fact that we are waiting for Max to take his time and read over the report Four had handed him upon arrival. Swiftly closing it, he throws it across the desk before leaning back against his office recliner.

"I see we have a bit of a jealous situation going on ey?" He smirks, raising an eyebrow at Christina who stifles a sob out. No one finds it funny except him. A throbbing sensation appears in my chest as I am reminded that I am holding my breath. Taking in a deep breath, I bite my lip with agitation flowing through me.

"Girls," We look up, nodding, "We aren't in Candor, and even if we are I do not believe in truth serums. Therefore here in Dauntless one is considered brave if they speak the truth without being injected with a serum. Same applies to you. Tris, care to explain what you know?"

Fiddling with the fabric of Eric's shirt still clinging onto me. I can't help by stutter. "I uh, over heard Will and Christina fighting yesterday in the bathrooms. They didn't know that I was there, and neither did I choose to tell them or get involved. After Will stormed off, I heard Christina mutter something about how she's gonna show him what obsession really is, since their whole quarrel was about how _she_ wouldn't leave Will and his girlfriend." I pause, looking at how Max rubs the side of his face before I gaze up towards the frowning leader behind him, who nods stiffly at me, urging me silently to continue with the confessions. "So anyway I heard her pick something up from off the sink counter, something metallic, and I can only assume that that is the weapon with which she nearly killed Will." I glower at Christina, who tosses her eyes towards the ceiling.

"What did you take from the counter?" Max narrows his eyes irritably as Christina stretches casually beside me.

"Eh." She replies, shrugging before grimacing as Eric slams his hand against the desk, causing me and her to flinch whilst Max and Four indifferently wait for him to continue.

"Answer normally, initiate." He barks out, pointing a finger at a shrinking Christina. She gulps loud enough for me to hear and scoff at her.

 _Bet you didn't think about the outcomes._

"Um, there was a butter knife just lying next to the sink, so I just took it." Max nods before frowning and turning to glower at Eric and Four.

"Why are there knives hanging around the initiates' dormitory?" Both men look down, like children being scolded by a frustrated parent. _It was all the same with me and Christina too._

"No no, we don't. There was an issue with the plumbing under one of the sinks, and Peter used a butter-knife to fix it. I didn't know that he had forgotten to return it." I claim as everyone turns to eye me. Max nods approvingly before continuing.

"Very well. Anyway, Christina, you will be punished. There is nothing brave in attacking a fellow initiate while they're asleep. I believe taking some points out from your..."

"Death." Eric interrupts loudly as he begins marching around the desk so he can lean in front of it, closer to Christina and opposite me. His obvious anger is highlighted by his furrowed brows as his glare is thunderous. Even though he had barely spoken since we entered the office, every time he did, it makes me wince internally. _I can't hate him, but in public he is a completely different person than when he is with me. It's so strange._

"WHAT?!" Christina wails, breaking down into a high-pitched sob. For a moment I actually pity her. But that sympathy is long gone when my mind pushes me to remember all the vile things and all the vile ways she has fucked me up in a matter of weeks.

Realizing that my trail of thought has once again moved me into another dimension, I return to the office only to gasp loudly as I stare at the reckless leader in front of me, clutching a gun as he points it at the crumbled up wreck beside me.

Nobody dares to move or try and stop Eric. I glance at Four who- he too- appears to be holding his breath as he has his hands stretched out in front of him, as if calming down an untamed lion. The only sounds reverberating around us are the softer whimpers of Christina's once fullthroated cries.

"Shut up initiate. Max," Eric turns at a scowling Max who appears to be deeply unimpressed. "Say she actually hit a main vessel in his neck? Say he bled to death before he even realized what the hell is going on? Say she actually _killed_ him? Don't you think she deserves a retribution for her own actions?" His gun is still pointed at her drooping and pale figure. Cursing my sixteen-years of Abnegation upbringing, I stand up.

"We're better than that. Shooting her and killing her on the spot isn't proving anything except that you're a murderer, just like she was going to be." I point a trembling finger at her, praying that it will bring Eric's senses back. He grips the gun harder, his knuckles white from the pressure. For a moment he mindlessly turns his aim at me, causing me to take a step back as I widen my eyes and mouth. Biting the inside of my cheek to prevent myself from bursting into tears, I bow my head just as he stares me down, his eyes filled with guilt and frustration. To my surprise, he lowers his gun but still holds onto the trigger. I look up and he's still staring with an apologetic look on his face. I look away before wrapping my arms around myself.

"Since my fellow leader does not agree with my proposition, and I most certainly agree with Tris' statement," Max states before standing up and turning to take Eric's old position against the window frame, "We must come to an agreement of some sort. Suggestion? Eric?"

Probably finally acknowledging that now is not the perfect time to shoot Christina in the head, I see that his grip on the weapon has loosen, yet his glare appeared more and more dangerous by the second. He pauses for a moment, thinking over what he's going to state. Chuckling maliciously, he pushes himself off the desk and begins pacing back and forth.

"Factionless!" He stops, smirking as he glances sideways, waiting for Max' approval. The older leader appears to be thinking deeply, stiffly nodding before shaking his head and nodding again; his eyes trained on the floor. Finally, he looks up and wrinkles his face to the side.

"No matter how restless or dangerous our faction is; it isn't healthy to have potential _murderers_ lingering around the corridors. I even bet that she's praying that you'll turn me down so she can get her revenge on Tris before being caught again. I can see the fear in your eyes, Candor. That spark turns into anger every single time you glance at the Stiff. You're as transparent as clear water to me," Eric continues, walking towards the girl before squeezing her shoulder extremely tightly. But one question rolls around through my mind.

 _How is he so good at reading people?_

"You have a point Eric. I do sense some extreme anger emitted from you. We will give you exactly one hour after this meeting ends for you to pack your belongings and leave the compound. If you stay for any longer, we will have to assist you and that wouldn't be very pleasant." Max finishes off as he exchanges looks with Four before the instructor heaves Christina out of the chair. Eric strides towards Max hurriedly, muttering quietly enough for only him to hear. When Max' face drops and he bobs his head, defeated, Eric turns around swiftly and calls at Four and Christina to halt their way out of the office.

Just as the latter turn to face the room, there is a loud 'bang' heard and moments later, Christina is laying on the floor with blood dripping from her shoulder. He hasn't damaged her enough to put her life into danger. It was an obvious graze. Her screams said otherwise. Done and too tired to keep up with this, Four rolls his eyes as he picks her up using her other shoulder, dragging her out of the office. I know she deserves it, and I feel no remorse or guilt this time.

 _I saved her life when I opened my mouth to oppose Eric. This could've put me in a lot of trouble..._

"Tris?" Max' voice breaks the silence.

"Mm? I mean yes sir?" I bite my lip as I turn back at the both standing figures of the two leaders.

"You should be proud of yourself. There aren't a lot of people who have the guts to oppose Eric, especially when he's holding a gun." He shakes with laughter as he pats Eric's tense shoulders, causing him to look down guiltily. I whisper out a 'thanks' too quiet even for me to hear- since I don't know what else I should say.

"You should also be proud of your quick reflexes when you saw the boy in pain. Although you must be aware that in Dauntless we fight until..." He babbles on, giving me the same speech Nurse Sara had given me just before all of this had happened. I sighed, nodding at the right moments.

"Thanks, I'll be sure to wait until their very last breaths until I jump in and help out next time," I smirk as Eric grins for a split second, feeling beaten and horrible. And then I remember: I was beaten and I do have a reason to feel horrible. Sara had blackmailed me into accepting her sketchy offer and Eric pointed a gun at me. Speaking of Sara...

"I assume that Nurse Sara has filled you in with a perfect for you proposal ey?" I stare at how Eric tenses, the crease between his eyebrows appearing again as he glares dangerously as Max, who doesn't acknowledge him but rather has his black eyes fixated on me, and my reaction.

"Yeah...I agreed. Although I still don't know..."

"With time the truth will come clearer to the surface don't worry," He brushes me off suspiciously just as Eric walks off and towards the door rather angrily, again.

"Where are you going?" The older leader asks him. Opening the door forcefully, he nods me to follow and I don't wait for a second command.

"I'm going to figure out the paperwork and any allegations held between the other initiates. I also suspect that you wouldn't need Tris anymore, therefore she will come with me." He retorts through gritted teeth. Max sighs and waves us off. I whisper out a 'goodbye' and shut the door carefully before turning to face Eric painfully.

"Walk with me," he retorts, turning around and stomping off into a corridor that is yet to be explored by me for the first time. I hurry after him, having a bit of difficulty trying to keep up with him.

"I shouldn't have listened to her and should have just shot her just the way she deserved it," he mutters, glaring ahead as he quickens his pace. I am nearly jogging as I attempt to keep up.

"What would that prove? Nothing. She's going to suffer twice as much being Factionless so why not just leave it at that?" I counter, frowning up at him. Swiftly stopping and turning to face me as I run into him, he bends down and death glares me.

"If you hadn't opened your mouth I could have shot her so precisely that she would have been paralyzed from the neck down. And then there's no doubt that she wouldn't have been kicked out of Dauntless," he responds coolly, narrowing his blazing with anger eyes. I take a small step back.

"Why would you do that? This just proves that you're not better than her if you wanna just ruin her life up even more?" He laughs at me.

"Why are you suddenly on her side? _She's_ the one who has fucked you up countless of times ever since you got here and _she's_ the reason I nearly lost one of my initiates. Your Abnegation is showing Tris. Right now being selfless isn't going to help you bring anything but tough shit. So stop acting like a _Stiff._ " He raises his voice as he stands tall and lean in front of me. I bark out a laugh, unable to dominate my sense of growing fury.

"Why is everyone today calling me a Stiff? Or selfless? First Sara, now you." He looks confused for a moment and he opens his mouth to ask me probably about Sara but I babble on angrily. "You know Eric; if I wanted to be labelled a Stiff for the rest of my life I would have just stayed in Abnegation. But I didn't. And I'm here now arguing with you about how I stood against you to protect Christina. No that's not the reason why. I just didn't want you to have her worthless blood on _your_ hands, that's it. Shout at me now, call me a stupid Stiff for yelling at you, maybe you should've just pulled the trigger when your aim was on me." I shriek out, breathing heavily in and out as I feel sweaty under his clothes. Throughout my speech I can tell that he was pissed, and he probably wanted to kill me...until the end. I didn't even mean for it to come out. It just did. And I feel extremely guilty. His face contorts into a heartbroken expression before he takes a step towards me. I shake my head.

"Leave me alone Eric. I don't want to talk to you." I run off into the other direction.

* * *

I don't know how long I've spent sulking beside the Chasm. Time doesn't matter to me at this point. Tapping the metal floor protecting me from the abyss below me, I daydream in and out of reality. I think about how Christina would have suffered more if she got sent to the Factionless sector, paralyzed. _Maybe Eric was right._ I repeat that over and over again to the point that it has become my current mantra. Resting my elbows on my thighs I lean forward, holding my head as I shift back and forth, going over how it's my fault that we fought and how it was a stupid thing to do. But then the cocky and aggressive side of me kicks in and takes over.

 _It's not your fault Tris. You were just acting like someone normal would have acted in this fucked up situation. Don't overthink about Eric. You know how he is._

 _Do I though?_

I sigh deeply, the demons in my head having their own inner battle. In less than twenty four hours I have witnessed Will's near-death experience, Eric's intimacy and Christina's near execution. My fingers feel numb as I play with the over-sized top once more and bringing it to my nose, I can still smell his musky scent and cologne making me smile softly into the fabric. I scowl when I look up to see Drew and Molly passing by the Chasm. Not only did I take Peter from them, but their newly-found leader Christina is getting kicked out too. They are bound to hate me. But I don't care.

"What?" I bark out when they look back at me as they walk away into the corridor connected to the Pit. Drew shrugs and continues on but Molly stops and turns to fully glare back. I can do this all day. I ball my fists into a ready fighting stance and I clench my teeth together rather painfully.

"Move on. I can't be bothered to deal with you too," I nod at her to advance towards the Pit. She snorts, laughing like a hyena before walking away.

 _I really need to watch my back when I'm around them._

Looking back down at the rushing waters, I don't need to look up to see who's standing beside me authoritatively.

"Can I join you?" I continue looking down, biting my lip as I feel a tear escape. I conceal my sniff when he slumps down loudly beside me. He isn't close enough for our legs or arms to touch, and this somewhat bothers me too much.

We continue sitting in silence, me looking at anything but him; and from the corner of my eye I can tell that he's staring at me. Frustrated that his mood swings are pushing me further away from being mad at him, I twist to stare icily at him. He seems amused at first, but then the same guilt-filled expression rests upon his perfect features. I feel my guts twist painfully when I move a bit away from him. He sucks air through his teeth before looking down.

"I didn't mean to do anything. I didn't mean to call you a Stiff and I sure's hell didn't mean to point the gun at you. It was just blind rage."

 _Blind rage._ I scoff.

"You know, your blind rage could've cost me my life. I saw how you held your finger over the trigger. One wrong tremble and your blind rage could've sent me to the grave." He slams his hands on the ground as he grits his teeth.

"Don't say that. Don't say anything I don't know already." I turn to him angrily, but I feel myself soften up when I see his sorrowful expression, which makes me even more infuriated.

"We can't keep on going on and off at each other. Some day we're going to just kill each other." I laugh but stop as soon as I meet Eric's eyes. Clearing my throat I scoot back closer to him.

"I hate this. I hate that you're such a difficult person to cope with. And I hate how fine I am with trying to deal with you." He smirks at me before looking away, his grim look back.

"I have a lot of reasons as to why I'm hard to deal with..." He trails off. Obviously something is wrong, but I don't want to make him uncomfortable and immediately begin pressuring him with questions. "I wish we were back in my apartment." He mutters, laughing lightly at how shocked I am for his random remark. But then it hits me. _He's obviously not ready to open up. Not here anyways._

"Anddd why is that?" I play on, relaxing when I see him drop his shoulders. He sends me another smirk and for a moment I feel my head go fuzzy. He shrugs.

"So I can kiss you," he mumbles truthfully, making me laugh at how calmly and casually he said it. Standing up before I can say anything, he picks me up with him before taking a step back as a Dauntless couple passes us, laughing and holding hands. We both stare at them sadly. _I wish we had that._

He slowly turns back at me, smiling knowingly. I smile back, looking down before the urge of throwing myself onto him for a piggyback ride wins over. "Do you still wanna come have dinner together? I mean I haven't had time to cook or anything, so we can just get food from the Cafeteria and eat back home." There is a pleading sense hidden behind his words. I can't say no, so I just nod. He grins but that turns into a glare as another group of people pass us. He rolls his eyes and walks off, this time slower and keeping up with my pace.

We go to the Cafeteria, each of us holding boxes for takeout and we take as much food as we wanted. Which isn't a lot since neither of us are that hungry. We go back hurriedly before anyone unwanted catches us. On the way we pass Christina. Her once flawless face is bruised up and her gorgeous eyes are filled with unstoppable tears. Eric steps in front of me protectively but I move away so I can meet her again. She stiffens when I walk towards her, but I stop short when I'm at the end of the safe distance between us.

"I just wanted to say before you leave that you shouldn't be blaming anyone but yourself about the future. I wish you the best of luck." I send her a smile, keeping my posture rigid as I walk away. She puts her hand out to stop me, laughing. I turn around, keeping my expression as stoic as possible.

"This is your fault. If it weren't for you attacking me when all I wanted to come and do was apologize, we wouldn't have ended up in Max' office and I wouldn't have had a bullet in my shoulder. Just know that this isn't over, bitch. We'll meet again." I purse my lips together as I nod in affirmation. My response takes her off guard since she probably thought I would attack her and join her in the Factionless. But I'm better than that. At least I'm trying.

"Goodbye Christina." I continue walking towards Eric, who smirks proudly as he turns to continue on.

"Wait!" I hear her screech but I was already gone.

* * *

We eat in comfortable silence again, stealing sideways glances at each other when the other one isn't 'looking.' I offer to clean the dishes after we eat the salad and chicken we had brought up with us, but he uses his leader tone and I can't fight him. I plop onto the couch, hugging a pillow while I wait for him to come back. And when he does, he leans down, taking me by the waist and flips us over, making me straddle his lap. I rest my forehead on his, my hand going through his hair, gently pulling at it from time to time. He looks up at me and presses his lips against mine. The craving of wanting his lips overwhelm my senses and leave me dazed. Confidence slowly brings me back as I bite his bottom lip. He deepens the kiss, my mouth opening when he wants it to. I push myself closer to him, my other hand holding his shoulder for support. I kiss him back hungrily, surprised by myself for even building up enough confidence to attempt to dominate him for just a moment. Surprisingly, he breaks the kiss, moaning softly as he rests his head on my shoulder. He looks up at me again, smirking.

"Don't start something you aren't ready for yet," he murmurs, kissing my fading hickey sweetly. I nod, brushing my fingers over his lips again. We begin talking about each other, life in Dauntless and how tough Leadership really is.

"Why don't you like bossing people around and intriguing them." I laugh, causing him to roll his eyes.

"I don't mind that, it's just not what I expected it to be," he tells me seriously, rubbing my sides. I cock my head to the side and he just shakes his head. "Too much shit to deal with Tris. I don't even wanna think about it now."

"Okay," I frown but don't press on. Thinking of another question, I think out loud.

"Have you always been Dauntless?" He fixes his grey eyes on me as he chews on his lip frustrated. I place my hand on his face and gently release his lip from the pressure of his teeth. He looks away from me, a stern facial expression forming on him.

"I'm sorry, you don't have to answer if you don't want to Eric," I say softly. He shakes his head, still refusing to meet my eyes.

"It isn't your fault." He pauses. "Erudite, I defected from Erudite." He takes in my surprised reaction, but I brush it off quickly.

"Why did you defect?" He frowns.

"Many reasons, Tris. Mainly...I just felt like I just wasn't good enough for Erudite and all the smart-asses there." I shake my head.

"You know, I kinda assumed that you might have been from Erudite. Sometimes the way you react just isn't the way a Dauntless would. But why wouldn't you be good enough?" I whisper, resting my head on his collarbone as he hugs me tighter.

"I don't know. My parents were assholes. They would underestimate me and they would beat me. I became the outcast of Erudite kids going to school, so I began chilling with the Dauntless. I befriended Zeke and we would skip school sometimes and practice fighting with knives. I would even sneak out in the middle of the night and meet up with them. It wasn't hard or anything, it's not like my parents were sober enough to catch me. This one night we met up on the roof of the Dauntless entrance and we sealed an oath with our blood that we would choose Dauntless and become legends." He laughs as I lift my head from his shirt to prevent it from soaking up my tears. He looks at me and wipes the tears.

"Don't cry, you should be happy. If it weren't for me not fitting in Erudite I would never been here with you having this conversation. I'm glad shit turned out like this." He kisses me softly as he tries to stop me from sobbing. "I'm sorry Eric. If I ever see your parents I'm going to beat them up for you," I cry out like a little child. He chuckles, caressing my cheek. "Okay, I promise I won't stop you." I nod seriously and another moment of silence rests around us.

"Say something that's going to push me away from crying even more Eric," I plead, my voice trembling as I imagine him, a young boy, afraid of his parents for not being good enough. He thinks for a minute before turning to face me seriously.

"Don't laugh, but I'm allergic to pollen."

"What?! The...great...and ruthless leader...allergic to...I can't.." I wheeze out hysterically, forgetting about the dark conversation we had just finished. He tucks on my shirt and mockingly pouts. After I calm down, he continues.

"I sneeze when there's pollen around me. Sneezing can ruin my reputation you know. That's why I tend to skip meetings happening at Amity and _that's_ why I _loathe_ Visitation Day with passion." I open my mouth to ask why but...

"You'll be surprised how many Amity members come around every year to either see a defected family member or to just look around the faction of the brave," he says darkly, his serious face so cute as I try my best not to laugh at him.

"Speaking of Visitation Day...we've moved it for tomorrow. Four has told the initiates and we're going over the ground rules tomorrow."

We continue teasing each other, talking about random things like how his favorite colors are blue and black and how he sneaked Zeke into the Erudite compound and how they put a stink bomb in Jeanine's office.

He yawns softly, as he rests his head onto me, humming as I run my fingers up and down his arm.

"I guess we both defected because we never felt like we were good enough." He looks up sleepily at me, frowning.

"I never fit in with the quiet, selfless Abnegation community. I thought that if I joined Dauntless, I would have a bigger chance of finding myself and being free. Everyone seems to underestimate me here. I don't think you've had that issue once you defected." He lifts my chin and pecks it before grinning through half-closed eyes.

"No one's underestimating you. Don't worry about it, people will forget it once you become a full-fledged member. It takes time for you to overcome your upbringing traits. I'm here if anyone pisses you off," He beams at me. We gaze at each other, finding hidden comfort in the dark secrets of our past. I look at the clock and it's past eleven.

"I should probably go Eric. Who knows who might barge in if we fall asleep here again." He pauses before lifting me up and hauling me over his shoulder.

"You're right. Here." He places me on his bed and throws a blanket over me.

"I'm gonna sleep on the couch."

"But why..?"

"I just don't want you sleeping _there_ just yet Tris. That's it."

"This isn't right though, I should take the couch at least..."

"No." He states firmly.

"Yes." I counter, pushing myself out of the covers.

"Stop it." He rolls his eyes, smirking as he reaches for me, but I grab his wrists.

"Fine then, take the couch and I'll take the floor." He looks at me, horrified. I giggle before wrapping my arms around his waist. He begins protesting but I press a finger onto his lips.

"How about we share the bed?" I whisper as seductively as I can. He sighs deeply, hovering his hand over his heart as he takes deep breaths.

"I was hoping you'd say that." I laugh nervously whilst my brain screams at me. He hands me another top and begins kicking his boots off.

"Go change in the bathroom...if you like." He growls but I flutter away giggling. When I go back into the bedroom I see him propped onto his elbows, eyeing me strangely. The window emits the pure lighting of the moon and it rests so perfectly onto his toned, bare chest.

"Stop it," I snicker, rushing to conceal my bare legs under the covers. He turns to my side again, grinning cockily. I turn his head to the side.

"Stop what?" He smirks. "Looking at me." I feel my face heat up and I thank Dauntless for preferring dim to no lighting at all.

"Can't help it," he shrugs, pulling me closer to him. I tense up a little, but play along.

"This isn't any different to the couch. It's just more comfortable," he smiles, kissing my forehead as he places a hand under my head and onto my lower back. I sigh. _I want to get used to this._

"Goodnight, Eric." I whisper softly, kissing the area over his heart.

He whispers something, but I'm already gone.


	23. Visitation Day

"Gather up so we can finish this quicker," Eric roars as he jostles through us and into the training room. That morning he woke me up hurriedly and we barely even spoke. I knew something was bothering him, but I didn't dwell on the feeling. Yesterday's conversation proved to me that whenever he is ready he will open up to me about anything bothering him. Now isn't a good time.

"Trisssyyy!" Uriah yells out from somewhere behind me, and before I can turn, I find myself laying on the ground with him on top of me. "You mammoth get off me!" I laugh as I try and push him off. However, my size can't even shift under his weight.

"Whoop!" Lynn shrieks as she topples onto Uriah, simultaneously crushing me under even more. I gasp for air, not because I can't breathe, but because of my excitement. I laugh eagerly under them.

"Is someone having fun without me?" I hear Peter's muffled voice from down under the two muscly Dauntless-born beasts. "NO!" We all cry out at the same time through the hysterics we've put ourselves through. Too late though. I feel another sack of blood and bones squash me under even more. We play around for a little bit longer until they finally disperse away from me. I am left gulping for air, my face red with laughter as my top sticks to my back with sweat. Uriah- who is already up on his feet like two people haven't just sat on him- extends his hand out to me. Narrowing my eyes, I smirk as I accept it, bouncing up and down until I'm stable on the ground. Lynn playfully shoves me to the side, earning the same exchange back.

"Jeez Tris, you look like you've just walked through a storm," Uriah retorts, chuckling as I smack the back of his head. "Haha you love me." I nod at him, before he pulls me and Lynn into a tight embrace. That doesn't last very long because a moment later, he shoves us away from him as he wrinkles his face up in disgust.

"Eww go away, you're both sweaty as hell." Glancing at Lynn- who nods- we charge back into him, hugging him and not letting go as he attempts to push us away from him. Even over our laughs, we hear that dangerous sound of Eric clearing his throat impatiently. Immediately, we stop jostling each other and we turn towards the leader who is standing with his flexed arms crossed across his broad chest. Looking at Peter, Uriah and Lynn; I see that we are all sharing the mutual feeling of not being able to keep Eric's eyes. We sigh in relief as he marches away from us, propping himself against his favorite pillar. Four rushes to stand beside him like a little puppy, his eyes skimming through the small crowd. They both begin at the same time again. It must be a usual thing to happen because I can swear that every single time they're with us they always tend to want to dominate the stage. Respectively, Four smirks irritably before nodding for Eric to continue. The latter claps his hands together before beginning.

"As I was saying...Visitation Day has finally arrived. You are _not_ permitted to leave the compound."

"But..." Al stammers.

"Not until you are full-fledged Dauntless members, which means that those of you who are lucky enough to be able to call this a home even after training- you guys will be allowed to travel from Faction to Faction whenever you like anyway. However, today you are allowed to see and talk to your families...if they have chosen to even come and visit you," he scoffs. I glance at Al, his lips are pursed together as his fists crunch into a punching stance. _How ironic since he's trying to fight back his tears._

"Any questions?" Four raises his eyebrows.

"No that's it go away now," Eric commands milliseconds after his fellow instructor's question. I turn to follow my best friends just as Peter puts his arm around me, but Eric's deep and commanding voice beckons us back.

"Don't forget that Dauntless is your home now. We will be watching you. _Faction Before Blood._ " He stresses out the last part by lowering his voice by a couple of octaves. We nod timidly as we walk away quickly. My stomach flips as I feel his steely glare fixated on me and Peter, who has put his arm around me. I begin panicking, afraid that I might lose my leader. And then the stupidest idea shoots through my head. I halt in my steps and tilt my head back, squinting horribly as I pretend to sneeze loudly. And when I do; my shoulder's motions are strong enough to shove Peter's arm off me. Safeguarding my lie with another, softer sneeze, I turn to Peter, blaming it on the dust in the room. He bites the lie, which is surprising since he was from Candor. Looking back at Eric's cocky smirk, I roll my eyes as I move an inch away from Peter. He nods, pleased. Guilt bites onto my insides as I chew on my bottom lip anxiously.

 _I am not lying if I say that being close to Peter, who is a brother to me just like Uriah is a fun experience. We share a whole new level of intimacy. I needed to tell Eric about that, I had to. Thinking about my friends, m_ _y insides burn with pleasure as I go over the fact that I am enclosed by people who actually care about me and treat me like a family member. Because- at the end of the day- this is what we have become. Turning your back to your Faction of Origin and stepping into your chosen destiny is a tough thing to do. It takes will power and trust in yourself. Trust that you can do it. That tough choice is broken down into many hardships that also need to be shattered to get to that comfortable state you have been dreaming for before your blood sizzled on that coal what seems to be forever ago. I knew what I was putting myself into, and I'm loving it. I'm loving not only my newly found group of people that I can say are closer to my heart than my actually family; but also all the bruises, cuts and punches I have felt on my way of seeking finality and hospitality in this new Faction. My Faction. I have created an unbreakable bond with each and every person surrounding me._ _Lynn; in the little free time we have together (when Uriah has stolen Marlene from us and Peter is exploring the compound) we spar- which almost always ends up badly for me- or we sit by the Chasm and I listen to her unkind retorts about Abnegation which I have grown to love about her. Although we choose not to openly act out how much we care for each other, we both know it's there. Marlene; whenever I'm down she always brings me back up with her pearly smile and her infectious laughter. She taught me how to braid my hair to the side. She is the big sister I've always wanted, although she is older than me by only a couple of months. Uriah; he has openly told me many times about how I'm his baby sister and how he will always be there from me. From the time when he woke me up at one in the morning just to tell me that; to the time when Zeke got him tipsy and he went around the compound looking for me. Peter; he pains me. I love him, but not in that way. Sometimes when we talk, I see that glint in his eyes, the same glint I see in Eric's eyes whenever we're alone. It breaks me when I see him look at me like that. He's been there for me through the good and the bad. I should do the same for him too._

"Earth to Trissyyy!" Someone snaps their fingers in front of me, forcing me to look around and take in the fact that I am surrounded by my Dauntless family in the bubbly Cafeteria. I groan, resting my head on my palms.

"Not you too Peter. I've already got one idiot calling me that. I don't need two." I gasp when I feel the bread Uriah had just thrown at me get stuck in my hair. Shooting him a playful glare, he places his hand over his heart as he sighs dramatically. "I am deeply hurt by you _Beatrice Prior._ Perhaps the nickname 'Bea' instead of Trissy can express my deepest apologies huh?" Everyone laughs except for me. Tearing up my cupcake in half, I throw the bigger piece at him, aiming for his head.

"Score!" I exclaim a little too loudly, pumping my fists above my head before high fiving Lynn. "Oh so that's how we're gonna play," Uriah cocks his head side to side and during my time when my attention was on my lap as I clean myself up from the crumbs; I feel his orange juice get dumped over my head. Gasping loudly and involuntarily, I jerk back too quickly, shoving myself off the bench and onto the floor. Lynn-who is sitting beside me- hoists me up before whispering out her plan in my ear. Nodding earnestly, I carry the word over to Marlene's earshot, pleased when I see her angelic features curve into a playful smirk. Uriah and Peter exchange nervous glances from the opposite side of the table.

"GO!" Roars Lynn as she grabs as much food from the center of the table as she can possibly hold onto, before thrusting it into the boys' direction with mighty force. Marlene and I quickly follow her actions as I sprint towards the canteen, grabbing what's left of the spaghetti and meatballs metal platter. Running back towards the battle, I am welcomed with a makeover of mashed potato, which slithers all down my face and into my hair. Opening my eyes to look at a laughing Uriah, I storm up towards him, stuffing the hot mess of pasta and meat into his mouth with sheer force. He begins choking and laughing at the same time.

"It went up my nose!" He cries out, lifting his arm up as he waits for me to help him up.

"You do know I can see that you're holding food behind your back right?" I raise my eyebrows, laughing as he gives up on hiding his weapon and just aims it towards me.

By this time, most of the Dauntless members around us have joined in, all cackling and swearing as they begin bombarding their friends with their lunch leftovers. Somehow, through all this commotion, my eyes rest on a perfect cup full of soda to the top, just waiting to be thrown over my enemies. Dodging a couple of meatballs, a whole loaf of bread and a cupcake, I finally reach my trophy. Looking back to my restless target, I see that Uriah is already under Marlene as she is squeezing ketchup onto him and Lynn is onto her next victim being Al, who is actually crying under her as she cackles maliciously whilst breaking open the salt shakers to pour the excess onto the Candor transfer. The only unaccompanied fellow initiate is Peter. Feeling my smirk grow bigger, I grip the cup tightly as I jog back to him. Thankfully he has his back towards me, arms on his hips as he is eyeing Uriah and Al's desperate pleads of surrender. Seizing my chance of attack, I stand on my tiptoes as I creep up towards him. Rapidly pulling onto his shirt, I dump the ice and drink down his back. He begins jumping up and down as he tries to shake the ice out of his clothes, yelling out his frustration when he gets salad thrown into his face by some member nearby. Slipping and falling onto his ass, he looks up at me, his wide, emerald eyes glistening with mocking hurt.

"Didn't expect that from you Tris. You really outdid yourself there. Or should I say...I didn't expect that from you _Bea._ " He falls back laughing. "That's is, you're dead." I slide down onto the slippery with food floor as I attempt to pick up a deformed dessert just laying there, waiting to be thrown at Peter. He beats me, clutching onto the chocolate delicacy before slapping it onto my cheek. I grunt, jerking my head to the side because of the impact.

This goes on for a moment longer before the large gong positioned on the side of the enormous room calls out for silence. We all stop what we're doing and look up to meet the infuriated faces of Max and Eric. The latter has his hands clasped together formally in front of him; glaring around, narrowing his eyes in disgust but when he sets his eyes on me, he seems to soften as his eyebrows raise up. Giving him a short smile, he just looks away, focusing onto Max who is lecturing us angrily.

"...Other faction members will be arriving any minute now and this is how we will welcome them? Such a disgrace! I want you all to clean this shit up and then yourselves before the visitation period commences. Go!" He bellows and with that, we are all sent into different directions.

* * *

"That was fun!" Marlene continues after we helped with the cleanup of the Cafeteria and after taking turns enjoying a brisk shower in our transfer showers since the Dauntless-born ones had some kind of issue with them. I nod, sticking my tongue out at Uriah who glowers at me. He rolls his eyes, running a hand down the side of his face.

"I'd do that again. Who's with me?" Lynn remarks as she raises her hand up. Marlene and I follow her suit whilst the two boys continue glaring at us.

"I'm fine thanks," Uriah scoffs, having Peter agree with his words through a bow of the head.

"Pfft, that's only because you underestimated us. You started it all anyways." I shrug as I high-five the girls again.

"No no. If we had one more player on our team we could've won."

"Stubborn ass," Lynn mutters loud enough for us all to hear.

We continue drying ourselves up before they begin moving back to the sleeping areas. Not having completely dried my hair, I call out "Go without me, I'm gonna be out in a few minutes." I take my time alone in the bathrooms to braid my hair to the side just like Marlene showed me a couple of nights ago. I hum to myself to keep the silence away. It pushes me to be oblivious to the figure that had slipped into the bathroom with me. Looking up into the mirror, I meet the icy stare of Molly. Twisting around to face her, I squeak out when I realize that she has her hand around my throat. Gripping her arms tightly, I sink my nails into her skin in an attempt to push her away. She leans closer to me, her beady eyes filled with nothing but hatred and anger. _Too much anger._

"You're gonna pay for what you have done to me." She shakes me forcefully.

"What...the hell...did I...you?" I cough out through my crushed airway. I try punching her, but her free hand catches my lousy attempt of self-defense.

"Stop pretending like you don't know what I'm talking about _Stiff_." Her hot breath gushes onto my face, making my face redder than it is from my oxygen deprivation state.

"If you're talking...about your new...leader leaving...Factionless..."

"No." She cuts me off harshly, softening her grip just enough for me to get a few deeps breaths of air before tightening her fist around my neck again.

"Peter...," her voice is wobbling now, "You took Peter away from me." It takes some time for me to catch up as to what the hell she is talking about. Maybe it's because I've never been in this kind of situation before. Maybe it's because I can't breath.

"Just...stop..." I continue trying to talk her out of breaking my oesphagus.

"Shut up!" She interrupts me again. "You're gonna pay for what you did. Mark my fucking words, _Stiff_. From now on you better sleep with one eye open. It'll be a shame if something happened to you when someone wasn't watching."

"The fuck?" Uriah's voice breaks up the tension in the air. I use the short moment of her turning her attention slightly to the boy in the doorway and I flip her hand off my throat. Unable to do more, I sink to the wet floor. I hold onto the pipe under the sinks for support, struggling to breath in and out. Through the black spots formulating at the edges of my eyesight, I see Molly being slammed against the opposite wall by Uriah, who is threatening her over and over again. Shutting my eyes and opening them again, there is another figure hovering beside Uriah, pulling him away. _Peter._

"Uriah stop. She isn't worth it stop." Peter continues, pulling onto Uriah's jacket. For the first time I see a Uriah I have not known up to now. And angry Uriah. His clenched jawline and his widened eyes projecting fractious rage. I am afraid of him. Shrugging Peter's hand off him, he jogs towards me, kneeling beside me as he shifts me up.

"I'm okay, just a little light-headed that's all." I assure him, glancing over his shoulder to see that Peter has taken up Uriah's previous position in front of Molly. He is talking to her in a dangerously quiet and sinister whisper, his index finger jabbing onto her chest as she nods, crying.

"Oh Trissy." Uriah exhales loudly, his voice quavering slightly as he clutches his side. "I'm fine Uri look, I'm only sporting a bruise. I can always just blame it on that cupcake you threw at me in the Cafeteria," I point towards the deep purple blemishes forming on my neck, laughing lightly but I try my best to hide the wince that pays the price of my actions.

When Peter joins us on my other side, we make our way to Marlene and Lynn, only to meet them walking hurriedly back towards the bathroom.

"What happened? What the...?" Marlene puts her hand over her mouth as she jumps up towards me, placing her fingers over the discoloration on my neck.

"It's fine, we dealt with it. Don't ask or say anything else that will make me do something that I might regret severely afterwards.! Uriah's grim tone shuts everyone up, even Lynn looks rigid. I sigh, looking over towards the clock. _11:45. It's not even noon yet and so much has happened._

"Let's go chill in the Pit. Peter are your parents coming?" I turn towards him. He shrugs, biting the inside of his cheek. "Not sure to be honest. Don't think they were happy when I left. Yours?" I lift my shoulders up too.

"There's no way in hell my dad would ever come visit me. He sees Dauntless as the faction containing a bunch of fools running around mindlessly, helping with nothing in this system." Lynn scoffs. "If it wasn't for the Dauntless patrols calming down the restless Factionless members and protecting Abnegation while they're touring around giving away food, he'd still be moaning about it. God I hate selflessness."

 _I agree with her to an extent. There is growing tension between Dauntless and Abnegation after the latter chose to limit the amount of Dauntless patrols around the Factionless sectors due to them believing that their tough presence around the Factionless is 'bothering them.' But after that choice has been made and less soldiers were sent to guard the sectors, there was an increase of attacks towards the Abnegation workers. However they still won't change the law and bring that rule back. I remember when father used to come home fuming, talking about how Max and the 'other intimidating leader who is too young for his status' continue to bring up that bitter law as a suggestion for the improvement of life in Chicago._

"I hope I see my mother though..." I try and change the subject back to the main question. Peter squeezes my shoulder as we walk out towards the Pit. On the way there, my stomach keeps on dropping as the bundle of nerves within my guts make me feel queasy. Anxious. I fear that my own mother will be down in the Pit. But I fear that she wouldn't be there even more.

"Don't worry Bee, I won't leave you until you don't find your mother." I look up at Peter, raising an eyebrow. "Bee?" He laughs, shaking his head. "I don't know I just felt like you could be called Bee. Trissy, Bee or Bea. Your choice." Rolling my eyes I say; "How about Tris? I like that the most" He pulls a face. "Nah, too normal."

"Guys if you don't find your parents, meet us up on the roof, we can fuck around and jump on the net. It'll be so fun." Uriah hugs me and then pats Peter's shoulder before ushering the two girls away from us. We exchange nervous glances with Peter before opening the heavy doors of the Pit. I squint my eyes as I look down at the blend of different colors coming from the crowd of the visiting Faction members. I see a large amount of formally dressed Erudite members along with quite a few Candor representatives dressed in their black and white colored the left side of the Pit I see a couple of Dauntless members who are surrounded by Amity members. Thinking about Eric and seeing him in the corner most furthest away from the Amity band, I can't help myself but laugh out loud. He appears to be nervous, shifting uncomfortably as he wipes his forehead, frowning. Beside him, Max begins pointing towards the opposite side of the Pit where the yellow and red colored clothes of the unnaturally ecstatic people were gathered up. With that, Eric almost animatedly backs away, shaking his head like a small child. I can't see Max' stare towards him because he has his back facing me, but if it made the young and ruthless leader give up and follow him without a fight; I'm happy I didn't see it.

"Tris! Look look!" Peter yells excitedly beside me, pointing towards somewhere deep within the crowd. Following where he is pointing to, my heart melts when I see a familiar, short and slender figure. _My mother._ Turning towards Peter, I smile, squeezing his hand. "Will you be okay trying to find your family without me?" He laughs, ruffling my hair.

"Trust me Bee, I'll be more relieved now that I know you're with your mother. Otherwise I would have to worry about losing you somewhere under the crowd!" Pushing him away from me snickering, he grabs my arm and pulls me to him. "Put your hair down, the bruising is getting darker." Only then I realize that I have my neck open for everyone to see the marks Molly had left me with. Pulling my hair out of my messy bun, I make my way towards my blood relative. Towards a part of me that I've have left behind in Abnegation but never forgotten. Pushing through the crowd, I stop short a few meters away from where she's standing, taking in her barely changed face and body. Her hair is still in that same tight bun I have grown up with. I can say that I look more like her than my shared similarities with my father. I stole her huge, hazel eyes, her sunken cheekbones and the small, imperfect but perfect bump on my nose-bridge. Our eyes finally meet before I begin hurriedly advancing towards her.

"Mama."

Before I can pull her into a hug, she steps back, shaking her head.

"No Beatrice; they're watching. _Faction Before Blood._ " She confirms Eric's statement in the morning. I chew on my bottom lip, unable to stop the tear running down my cheek. Gracefully, she steps up and wipes it away with her pale finger.

"Don't cry my sweetheart. Look at you! You're a completely different person! Oh my, you're gorgeous Beatrice. Just like your mother once was." She tilts my chin to inspect my new piercing, then my hair and then my three ravens. I graze their wings with the tips of my fingers.

"I got them done in the first few days here. Each one symbolizes you, father and Caleb." She nods, smiling as she touches the permanent ink on my skin. "Beautiful," she whispers softly. "Honey, I want you to know that your father is awfully sorry that he couldn't make it. Things are difficult now with Erudite spreading rumors about how we are stealing but I don't want us to talk about this today. Suddenly, I had the urge to ask her something that seemed to be rather strange.

"Mother, how did you find the Pit so quickly? I swear it took me a good couple of days to finally find my way through these corridors." Her grin makes me widen my eyes as I gape at her.

"Unless you were..." Before I can continue, my heartbeat begins pumping at a faster rate, commanding me to brace myself for one's lingering presence. He presses his hand on the small of my back before moving to stand beside me. Coughing nervously, I look down as I wait for him to begin introducing himself to my mother.

"Natalie." He greets her calmly. Looking up when I see that he has not stretched his hand out towards her, I catch him bow his head respectively, earning the same greeting from my mother. _Seeing him follow Abnegation's greeting regulations certainly is strange._

"Eric. It's good to see you again." She replies softly, glancing at him then at me and then back to him. He smiles one of his rare, special smiles.

"Likewise."

"Wait, you two know each other?" I frown, feeling my stomach flutter when his hand slips a few centimeters lower down my spine.

"Yes, of coarse I know Andrew Prior's wife. We've talked a couple of times after meetings." He stares at me. And I stare back. Our gaze only breaks up when my mother clears her throat out.

"How is my daughter doing Eric?" I lower my head again, afraid of his answer.

"She is doing better than you have probably expected. Although I am sure you know that Tris is very strong and somewhat stubborn at times." My mother laughs at that, but all I can do is try and hide the redness I feel on my cheeks. "That I know!" They begin conversing about my progress before I begin rubbing my neck, ignorantly forgetting that I was supposed to hide the marks. I only realize what I'm doing when I hear my mother gasp and step up towards me; inclining my chin to the side and upwards as she fingers the violaceous blotches.

"Beatrice..." Before she can continue; I am out of her grasp rather violently and urgently as Eric shoves my hair away from my neck. He narrows his eyes as he frowns down, pressing on different areas and making me wince. Straightening himself, he does not take a step back as our close proximity shatters me even more.

"Those are new bruises. Where. Did. You. Get. Them. From." He is no longer the formal leader who came to talk to my mother, but the serious and stoic person everyone in Dauntless fears. I am not Dauntless enough to be able to stop the tears from running down my cheeks hurriedly. Pursing my lips, I shake my head fervently.

"It was dealt...with." Through my tears I can see Eric and my mother exchange glances before she walks up to him and whispers something in his ear. He nods once before turning towards me and squeezing my shoulder.

"Talk to your mother. Forget about this. For now." Walking away, his hand lingers over my shoulder before fully letting go as he walks through the crowd. Anyone in his way respectively move out of his way. I see him halt in his steps when he sees the Amity group and Max walk towards him, the latter shooting him a dangerous glare. However Eric must have chosen to ignore it because he hurries over to the steps leading towards the exit of the Pit. And then he's gone.

"Beatrice." I snap my head back to my mother.

"Do you want to go sit in the Cafeteria? There's far too many people here for my liking Mother." She smiles at me and I grab her hand before she can move away.

* * *

"I'm so glad that you are happy here Beatrice," she says as I sit down opposite her in the furthest corner of the now clean Cafeteria.

"I'm happy too. I feel like I finally fit in among the people. Although I still miss our home." I send her a smile and she just smiles back.

"It's normal sweetie. Although you weren't able to call Abnegation your real home, you have lived there for sixteen years. You just need a bit more time to adapt. With time..."

"Mother?" She continues staring at me. "Were you Dauntless?" She sighs, her eyes on the table making it seem like she was thinking over about things. "Oh my God you were!"

I was waiting for her to brush it off, but then she smiles at me before saying, "It was a long time ago. But I'm guessing that's another thing you have take away from me." I chuckle quickly before turning my head at the opening entrance of the Cafeteria. My attention is grasped back by my mother only after she squeezes my hand. "So how are things with Eric?" I frown."What do you mean? He's my uh leader and I'm the initiate. You know, training and stuff." She wavers her wrist as she brushes my words away. "I know you too well for you to lie to me. First off I saw where he put his hand when he came to supposedly meet me even though we had just met on my way to the Pit. Secondly I had to break up your gaze into each other and thirdly are we going to ignore his reaction when he found out about the bruises." I rub my palms together, avoiding her stare. "He's just...a friend of the world." She begins laughing. This is probably the first time I've heard her laugh so much. "Nonsense are you sure we're talking about the same guy here? I can see what's going on here. Don't be afraid to tell me." I sigh, finally meeting her soft, honey-colored eyes. "Fine. I like him. No big deal. Just a small crush," I reply, feeling my cheeks redden again. She shakes her head before grinning. "You and I both know that's not 'just a small crush' sweetie. I've been through this. It's perfectly normal. But I can tell you that the way he looks at you is for sure not just a crush." I don't want her to expand on what she's planning on saying. _I'm not even ready to admit it to myself._ But I bob my head stiffly; I still want her to be happy. And she is.

"Did you go to see Caleb?" Her nervous stare makes me gulp as I remember the day he sold himself to the most disliked Faction in our family. Erudite. "I uh, I haven't had time to see him. I probably won't have time to see him anyway." Smiling at her, I say "I'm really happy that you came to see me. I was hoping you would. Even if it was for a little bit." We continue talking about initiation, and I even go as far as asking her about her times at Dauntless. Looking at the time, I see that it's past two in the afternoon and the Cafeteria is packed with the new visitors and their Dauntless family. Eric is nowhere to be seen.

"Would you like me to bring you something to eat? I know you aren't technically supposed to be eating here, but I can pretend like it's my food but you'll have it," I offer, standing up. "No Beatrice, I should get going. I've stayed for far too long, I don't want to be missing when your father comes home." She sighs, heaving up, gripping onto the fabric of her baggy Abnegation dress. _Something I will not miss._

"I'll walk you..."

"No love, I can find my way out don't worry. I just want you to promise me something." She squeezes my hand as I nod, smiling.

"Promise me that you'll stay safe...and if you can ever get to see Caleb; tell him I...we still love him very much." I am shocked at what she is asking from me, but I agree anyway.

"I love you, Mama," my voice falters but her stern yet loving stare silently tells me to keep it together. "I love you too. Stay safe." Sealing our goodbye with a quick embrace and not even a peck on the cheek; I watch her leave the Cafeteria, disappearing behind the open doors.

* * *

Half an hour later I find myself striding back and forth within my empty sleeping quarters, thinking. I went over what she had told me about Eric. _Was it that visible? Am I the one making it visible? Does he really look at me a certain way? Do I really look at him a certain way?_ So many questions and so little answers and chances to actually get them answered. Then I think about Caleb. When will I ever get a chance to see him again? _What if...? No. Bad Tris._ Running a hand through my hair; I put it up again, not caring anymore. All the people I care about, including my mother from a different faction have seen the bruises. Who am I hiding it from? Falling on the bed, I roll around for a while, not wanting to go up to Uriah or to find Peter. I had only one person on my mind now.

 _Caleb._

Springing up and out of the room, I grab my jacket on the way out; cursing myself horribly for being so stupid. Passing through the Cafeteria, the Pit and the main Hallways, I see that they are still crowded with a sundry of different members coming from the different factions so it's understandable that Visitation Day is still going on. I see Peter with a young and gorgeous woman standing next to him, crying as he nervously pats her back. I run up the stairs beside the Pit, towards the Glass building above. This building is entirely made out of glass, with ropes used for tight-walking which stretch above the top of the room. There is a narrow corridor branching onto the side of the building which leads to the fear landscape rooms. _I'm definitely not excited for stage two of training._ Walking straight, hiding behind darker and dimmer areas to prevent anyone from seeing me perform stupid things; I sprint out towards the exit which leads right towards the train tracks. Hearing the trains approaching whistle, I thank anyone listening to me as I class it my lucky day. Pushing my sprint into a faster run, I haul myself into the compartment before huddling into a corner. Wrapping my arms around my knees and pulling them to my chest, I bang my head lightly against the wall of the train, continuing to curse at myself. I took my chances and escaped the compound to go see my brother. _It's Visitation Day, I'm sure people will just think that I'm a member visiting family._

Popping my head out of the compartment, I see Chicago's Millennium Park nearing in the distance. Getting ready to jump, I bounce on the balls of my feet a couple of times before leaning downward as I catch my breath. I am standing in front of the enormous glass and white-painted compound. Walking inside, I look to both my sides, taking in the drastic difference of the compound's appearance compared to Dauntless' dark caves. Bookcases line the walls on either side of me, but they seem to be decorative more than anything, because computers occupy the tables in the center of the room, and no one is reading. The Erudite stare at screens with tense eyes, focused on whatever they're researching. The floor is a glossy white and I almost feel bad for stepping onto it with my muddy boots.

"Beatrice?" I meet Caleb's widened, green eyes. He looks just like that last time I saw him. _During the Choosing Ceremony._ His dark hair, pale complexion and dimpled cheeks juxtapose the dark shade of blue he is dressed in. I walk slowly and calmly towards him, unwilling to immediately show any signs of affection.

"It's Tris now," I reply coolly. He scoffs a little, looking me from my feet to my hair. "You've...changed...Tris?" That sounded more like a question than a statement. He was just trying out the name. I shrug anyway.

"What are you doing here? You aren't..."

"Yes I know that Caleb. I just wanted to see how you've been doing." He looks around before grabbing me by the elbow and moving us to stand beside one of the large, untouched and ancient bookshelves. "I've been well. I finally feel like I fit in somewhere. And you?" I nod in agreement before narrowing my eyes. "But Erudite? You were like the perfect Abnegation member. What happened? After all these years of anti-Abnegation propaganda, shit, our own _father_ talked about them and _their ways_ , and yet you still chose to break apart and join them." He gapes a little when I use the derogatory term to express my displeasure, frowning as I go on.

"Bea...Tris, maybe you were the one who thought I was the 'perfect Abnegation', but that wasn't me. Not at least for the rest of my life. I am happy with how things turned out and if you continue listening to our father and the vile lies he has been feeding us for years then there's really not much that I can do. Now if you'll..."

"What did you just say?" I growl, grabbing his forearm and squeezing hard, making him wince. "That's our father you're talking about! I get it, he isn't happy with me defecting too. I wanted to do something Abnegation would never have given me, but turning your back towards your family is not something I thought you would do. It's been what? A month and a half and they've already brainwashed you into loathing the people who have volunteered to give up their comfortable lives to help the others. And this is how you repay them?" I whisper urgently, my eyes pleading to see Caleb's understanding. But nothing came to the surface. He stared down at me blankly and unemotionally. Like I wasn't part of his blood and like we weren't siblings.

"Tris, you're making a scene..."

"Tell me something and I'll go. I promise I won't bug you about father. Obviously that's a lost case. Tell me, how are the relations between Dauntless and Erudite?" He stiffens as he begins avoiding my glare. "Nothing. I do not know anything." I snort. _Maybe it's the Candor in me, but he sure as hell doesn't know how to lie._

"Tell me." I grit my teeth, shaking him slightly, earning a couple of confused sideways glances from the people around us.

"Fine. All I know is that Jeanine is working on some top secret experiment and that Dauntless is involved in some way. It's known only between her, your leaders and her top scientists." His voice is low enough for only me to hear. I try to keep a straight face as he goes on about how her studies would one day lead Chicago into eternal peace with a zero percent chance of civil unrest. _The Divergent issue. Max and Eric's conversation while I was hiding in the bedroom. The puzzle is too big, and I have too many missing puzzle pieces._ Abruptly, I let go of my brother before turning to my heel and walking of.

"Wait a sec." I reverse back to face Caleb who is still planted in the same spot when I was holding onto him tightly. "Remember our mother? I really hope that Erudite haven't washed her out of your brain yet. She told me to tell you that they still love you. But I guess you're taking _Faction Before Blood_ very seriously around here. Have a good life," I send him a plastered on smile before rushing out of the compound. I manage to pass the tall, dark blue barriers of the Erudite compound, not long after I hear someone call me. Fear absorbs me as I begin walking faster, but the voice continues beckoning me.

"Hey!" Finally, I turn. When I do, I feel the blood leave my face when I realize who's calling me.

 _Shit._ _Of coarse it has to be Eric marching towards me angrily_. I open my mouth but no words come out.

"What the hell do you think you're doing Tris?" His voice is dangerously low again. _Double shit._ I sigh. _No point of lying._

"I came to visit my brother. What about you?" His glare makes me wish I bit my tongue off before I said anything after 'visiting my brother.'

"I have Leadership issues to deal with."

"In Erudite?" I shut my eyes and purse my lips, cursing inwardly. Opening my eyes after taking a deep breath, I watch him go angrier and angrier by the second.

"Why the fuck are you out here after I specifically said to everyone that initiates are not allowed to leave the compound? What if Max saw you here instead of me? What if someone saw you escape? Do you have any idea what the hell can happen to you?" He snarls at me harshly. I want to retort something out, but that would probably buy me a ticket to the grave in not time at all.

"It can severely affect your ranking. If Max were in a good mood, maybe just the stripping of your chances of becoming a Leader or a high profile representative of Dauntless. Or...you could be kicked out. Factionless. Done." He takes a step throughout. I bite my lip anxiously.

"I'm sorry Eric. I won't..."

"Hah you're sorry. Spare me the lecture Tris. You and I both know that you're going to do something stupid in less than twenty four hours anyway." He scoffs. I awkwardly stand there, fighting the urge to stand up against him.

"This will be the last time you do something like this. Am I clear?" I nod shamefully.

"I said _am I clear?_ " He repeats through gritted teeth.

"Yes," I reply weakly, avoiding his blazing glare.

"Excellent. Come in the car with me. We're going back to Dauntless." He begins walking away, stopping and grumbling to himself when I do not move from my spot.

"Tris. Don't test my fucking patience. It's either you begin walking now or I throw you over my shoulder and we go to the car." I look up, frowning.

"Can I just take the train?" He laughs, no humor hidden within.

"Tris..." He repeats seriously, taking a step towards me. But I begin walking, brushing his shoulder as I pass him. I hear him angrily mutter to himself before his steps synchronize with mine.

* * *

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	24. I Choose You

The next few days hold nothing interesting. I wake up before the others and hurry to the training room so I can work on my muscles on the punching bag. Eric came in a few mornings ago. We're still fighting and avoiding each other. Whenever he comes up to me I begin talking to Peter, which makes him scowl horribly and walk away, giving another initiate a hard time for just breathing. Whenever I go up to him he pretends like I am not there by glaring ahead instead of down at me. I then would proceed to wave in an attempt to get him to look down, but he'd just snort and walk off to talk to Four. And then Uriah is always behind me snickering and this all ends with me punching his arm.

Today, I am up at two in the morning. Putting on a tank top and a pair of tight, elastic pants, I make my way to the Cafeteria, greeting the head cook Ida. We met after I persistently continued hanging out in the Cafeteria at ungodly hours. She got mad at me because I crept into the back of the kitchen at three in the morning to get a glass of milk. I complimented her green dreadlocks through hooded eyes and from then on she began gifting me with simple things every single time I popped in before six.

"Morning! I assume that it's them nightmares again huh?" I nod, groaning as I sit down in the practically empty Cafeteria. Cautiously looking around to see if no one important is in the room, Ida vanishes before reappearing with a mug of warm coffee. Handing it to me and slipping onto the bench opposite me, she hands me a warm croissant.

"Ida, you're gonna get in trouble..." I begin before shutting up after meeting her strange shade of violet eyes. As a cook, Ida isn't allowed to sneak out food from the kitchen to give out to her friends. Or anyone in particular. At first, her presence frustrated me. I wanted to spend time alone, by myself, with my own thoughts and demons that kept me up at night. _My thoughts about Eric_. However, she kept on joining me, so I gave up and accepted my newly found friend. "So what's bugging you today?" She narrows her eyes as I strive once more to give her back the pastry. "Stop it. The only reason I got charged with points being taken away last time was because I gave away a whole Dauntless cake to Uriah. If he didn't go around screaming that 'the Gods have given him cake' on a day when we don't serve cake, then I would have been fine." She laughs at the memory as I nibble onto the delicious, savory breakfast snack.

"Today's the last day of Stage one of Initiation," I sigh, looking down. She snorts, chuckling.

"Don't worry about it. I've been popping in the training room cos I'm interested and all, and I can tell that you're doing pretty well."

"Oh so you pass by just to see me or because you wanna see the guys exercising?" I smirk, rolling my eyes. She purses her lips as she tries to keep a straight face on.

"Okay fine! What's that hot guy who's always around you called?" I shake my head. "Peter." She bites her lip as she fans herself dramatically. "My my, if only I had guys like him, no, _him_ in my initiation class. Just his muscles when he punches ughhh," she tilts her head to the side, closing her eyes, probably re-imagining Peter.

"If you want I can talk to him about you. Maybe even get you to meet or something." She shrugs.

"Go for it. I've been rejected so many times in the past few years here so I really don't care anymore." I widen my eyes, frowning.

"How? You're gorgeous. You're tall, slim but at the same time you're muscular. And your piercings and tattoos. You're like my definition of Dauntless." She huffs, blushing lightly.

"Thanks babe, but my status as a cook pulls everything else downwards."

"Um head cook mind you." We laugh and talk for a bit more until the clock reminds us that it's four. Still not an okay time to be awake but it's an okay time for me to begin my cardio workout sessions. Saying my goodbyes to Ida, wishing her luck in the kitchen, I make my way to the training room. I glide over the cracked and creaky wooden floors towards the faded punching bags. Taking my stance, I begin punching with all my might, breathing in quickly as I continue to harass my motionless victim until my knuckles' wounds split open again. I halt, resting my head against the bag. Thinking about Eric and our distant behavior is breaking me. However, I have promised myself not to cry anymore. I don't look up when I hear the forceful swing of the doors. He walks towards my direction, but passes me without even acknowledging my presence. Grumbling because I know I'm going to regret this; I push myself off the bag, stomping loudly towards him.

"Are we just going to ignore each other?" I growl, crossing my arms across my chest. He looks up towards the ceiling before muttering something that I can't understand.

"Shut up," he whines as he pulls out a small dagger before cleaning it thoroughly. I gasp angrily before planting myself right beside him.

"What the hell Eric? So we're just going to pretend like we don't exist for the rest of our lives? I did something stupid. I know! But come on, these moments where we're practically evading each other are so annoying. I mean..."

"Stop talking!" He slams his palms on the metal desk, making it shake. Abnegation Tris would have stepped away, but stupid Tris continues to stand there like a sheep.

"No," I raise my voice, leaning closer to him, trying hard to mask my trembling demeanor. He finally turns his molten glare towards me. I squeal when he grabs me waist painfully, forcing me onto the table before he presses himself against me. I sigh out a trembling exhale when he grabs my chin; pulling my face towards his. For a moment I feel like he's going to crack open my jaw-line like a roasted chestnut.

"I told you to _shut up_ ," he commands, shaking my head with force. I glare at him, trying to get out of his grasp.

"And I said no," I reply, my voice laced with anger slurred with fear. His eyes drill into mine. I've never seen him so angry in his life, and I've seen him slam fellow initiates' guns and snapping knives with his bare hands. A million thoughts run through my mind as I think of what to do.

 _You know what? If he wants to play like this, I'll play like this._

Gritting my teeth, I jerk my head out of his reach before pulling his face into mine and kissing him hungrily. The moan that escapes from his mouth tells me that he was definitely caught off guard. His hands find my hips as mine go through his hair. His kisses become rougher and rougher by the second, almost urgent as he doesn't allow me to break it off for a moment's breath. His lips go down my neck before trailing up again to meet mine. He isn't teasing me anymore. He bites me bottom lip, not letting go until I don't wince in actual pain. His hand goes up and down my waist before settling just under my breast. I try breaking it up a couple of times, but every single time I move away I begin missing him again, horribly. Almost painfully. And so the cycle begins over again. Then he pulls away completely, walking away towards the exit.

"I hate when you do this shit Tris." I frown, hearing the anger still embedded in his voice.

"I didn't do anything!" I call back at his retreating figure. He balls his fists.

"Exactly," I hear him say before closing the door with a 'bang'. Sighing hopelessly, I lay back against the metal frame of the table, overthinking.

* * *

Lingering around the training room for a while longer after he left, I decide that I should check the Cafeteria to see if my friends are awake, since it's six am and training today begins at six thirty. And I'm right. I walk up towards Uriah who has his head in his palms as he devours his plate of eggs and bacon.

"Hey you," I whisper, pulling him into a side embrace as he groans out his reply in my hair, kissing my cheek before continuing his expedition through his food. He glances towards me, my stare breaking through the table.

"What's wrong Bea?" I shoot him a glare for his nickname but decide against telling him off because I know that in an hour he's going to forget about it and call me 'Bea' or 'Trissy' again.

"Eric's wrong," I mutter, meeting his soft gaze as I go over what had happened in the training room. He sends me a childish, toothy grin before 'bopping' my nose.

"God you guys. Obviously he's really into you if he didn't just stab you the first time you said no to him. I've known and been around him from his first day here, and I've _never_ heard of someone going against what he has to say. No one who is still alive anyways," he laughs as I playfully shove into him.

"Can't wait for today's fights! They're gonna be brutal!" Exclaims Melody as she drops her tray along with herself on the bench opposite me. Will quickly follows her suit, before leaning into her as he puts his arm around her. I purse my lips, smiling at the couple.

"I agree, I'm gonna beat the shit out of you Uriah, mark my words," Lynn pipes in, winking at Uriah as she joins the table with Marlene behind her. The boy holds his hands up in surrender before beginning to talk about Stage two.

"...Yeah...and apparently the fear serums used for the fear landscape contain your actual fears, how cool is that?!" He blurts out excitedly. However, he's the only one excited about going through his worst fears. _I know I'm not_.

"All initiates make your way to the training room for the completion of Stage One," a female's voice echoes through the Cafeteria and probably throughout the whole compound. Exchanging nervous yet ecstatic glances with the rest of the people around the table, they throw their breakfast and stack their trays away before beginning to race each other to the training room. Peter is already in there, standing beside the arena, beaming when he sees us entering. Walking towards him, I feel Melody snake her arm through mine before pulling me into the opposite direction, towards our instructors.

"What are you doing," I whisper urgently, not able to fight back against her forceful clasp on me.

"Nothing...I just want to know who I'm fighting up against," she whispers back, looking over my shoulder as she nods her head for the rest of the gang to join us. We make our way to our instructors. Four is pacing up and down whilst Eric is standing stationary, jaw clenched as he stares at me intensely. My stomach flutters but I choose to ignore the feeling just as I ignore him. As soon as everyone seems present, Four clears his throat before beginning his speech.

"As you all already know, today is the last day of the physical part of the Initiation period. In other words today is your last chance to boost up your ranks by fighting someone. The rules have changed," he glances at Eric; who narrows his eyes as he continues, "...and so instead of us allocating each one of you with a partner individually; you will have the chance to pick your own partner. Choose wisely. Choose someone who might be at a higher rank than you, but who you believe you can defeat. The rules are the same as the other fights you've endured during the past couple of weeks. We will give you five minutes to think over your choice. Fight hard and good luck." Lynn and Uriah clap their hands together, laughing at the panic-stricken faces of most of the initiate transfers. Four joins back to stand beside the pissed-off leader; turning to face us as he mutters something to the latter. I look around, thinking over my choice. _Peter is an extremely good fighter, but I doubt he'd actually want to fight me. Lynn? Uriah? Melody?_ I cock my head to the side when I hear her and Will's snickering and teasing each other. However, she keeps on glancing in our instructors' direction, so I frown, looking up only to see Four copying my expression, eyeing the couple just as I did a second ago. She tilts her head back, meeting Four's hard but somewhat hurt glare, before pressing her lips onto Will's, kissing him passionately. This forces Four to blink a couple of times before turning his head and looking in the other direction. Eric must have sensed that something is wrong, and when his eyes follow the same path as mine did, landing onto the couple and then back onto Four; he clears his throat before stepping up.

"Time's up. We will begin by following the rank scheme; starting from the ones at the bottom." Eric and Four take turns calling out the lower ranker's names, waiting impatiently as they stutter out their choice. Myra chooses to fight against her boyfriend Edward, who is one of the strongest one from the transfer group. Four immediately intervenes, knowing that Edward would lose for the sake of his girlfriend's rank to be pulled up. That doesn't stop him though. That's when Eric warns him if Edward loses against the lowest ranking initiate he is not fit to enter Dauntless. Edward beats Myra in less than a minute and a half, pleasing Eric and causing Myra to cry. As the list goes on and on, I hear whispers around me of pairs planning each other's 'downfall'. This does not go unnoticed by the leader who very well knows that people are conspiring and not properly fighting for the sake of their pair.

"Just so you all know, if you think you're very clever by trying to cheat and not fighting properly, it may cost your rank. You have been warned," his deep voice echoes through me. After that the fights become more serious and rough. I take a deep, shaky breath as I brace myself for my turn.

"Tris?" Four raises his eyebrows at me. Biting my lip, I nod, skimming through what's left of the crowd. I hear Eric snort. Turning my glare to him, I meet his eyes, slowly releasing my lip. Cursing in my head, I smirk, nodding towards the leader.

"I wanna fight him."

 _I'm dead._

A gasp emits from nearly everyone's mouths as I continue to glare deep into his widened eyes. He smirks, rolling his eyes as he takes a step forward, only to be stopped by Four's arm before his chest.

"Eric," they glower at each other before he moves his hand away, sighing as he rubs his face.

"Are you sure you want to do this? You're supposed to be fighting to boost your rank up not lower it..." I break my eye contact with him as I walk up towards Four. "You also said that the longer you stay up the more chance you have for obtaining a higher rank." He pauses before nodding slightly. "Then all you need to do is to try not to get knocked out in the first couple of minutes. After that, if you're still up it may technically increase your points because it's against a leader. I hope you know what you're doing." I smile gently as I follow Eric into the arena.

"I do," I whisper.

 _No I don't._

"Same rules apply to you too. Begin." Four commands, placing me into the fighting position as I begin circling Eric. He waits for me to swing my first hit, but my strategy is different. _It's not about winning now, it's about staying conscious for as long as possible._ His fist locks into my abdomen, making me grunt in surprise as I take a sidestep. His other fist swings through the air as he aims for my rib-cage, but I catch it mid-air and twist it away from me. _There's something off about him fighting. He's too slow...and not applying all his power._ I grit my teeth, kicking him in the stomach, however he grabs my thigh; throwing me across the arena. I cough, turning around to block yet another one of his punches. He straddles me, putting his whole crushing, muscly weight over me as he punches me in the face before pausing, allowing me once more to retaliate. Not giving much thought to this kind gesture, I lock my arms around his neck, pushing my body out and through his captivity over me. This time he's the one who grunts in surprise. Letting him go; I reverse our positions so that I am the one on top of him. He seems to relax and not fight back, which makes me angrier because I want him to fight me! I don't care if he's going to hurt me. I can see him being troubled. I know that he's frustrated. So today I'm giving him his chance to relax and let go of the negative emotions through a fist fight. This is needed for both of us. But he isn't hurting me. So I have to hurt him.

"I thought you're stronger than that," I mutter, headbutting him, catching his piercings. His head tilts back before he returns the gesture, capturing my nose with the force.

"No." He growls, his grip digging into the side of my waist. Instead of pain, I feel pleasure. The anger he has hidden all this time is finally entering within his eyes, waiting for the right words to release them. Pressing my elbow onto his neck, I push his head against the floor before leaning in so closely, that our noses are touching.

"If this is what we have become, I deeply regret you being my first kiss," I spit out at him, tears blinding me. He stiffens under me, his eyes widening with hurt and animosity. I blink and the tear rolls down and falls onto his cheek as he gazes into my eyes, utterly confused. That breaks him. Gritting his teeth, he grabs me by my hair, pulling me off him. Standing up, he kicks me once, twice, three times. I use my hands to protect my ribs and stomach, but they're of no good use. I meet his horrifyingly furious and frustrated glare as he crouches until his knees touch the floorboard before punching me with all his might. I start seeing stars, the colors and Eric's face playing around in front of me. I hear his heavy pants as he drops himself beside me, wiping the back of his hand across his forehead. He purses his lips as he shuts his eyes; cradling me in his arms. I turn my head towards him, resting my lips on his forearm, smiling. He bites his lip, picking me up as he begins walking us out of the training room.

"Continue without me," he calls back to Four. Turning his attention to me; he brings my face up to his, kissing my forehead.

"I'm so sorry, Tris. I lost it. I didn't mean to..." I shake my head, resting it on his chest.

"It's okay baby. I wanted you to lose it." I bring my palm to my mouth as I begin coughing. He grips my palm, his mouth and eyes widening when he sees the deep shade of crimson liquid sprayed over it.

"Shit shit shit. This isn't okay. _I'm sorry_ ," his voice is pleading and there is a sense of fear attached to it. "It's okay," I whisper stubbornly through a series of coughs. He tightens his grip around me.

"I just...want you...to know...I didn't...mean it...Eric. I was only...try'na...piss you off," I cry out, flinging my arm around him as I cry into his collarbone. He pulls me off, gazing deeply into my eyes, his brows furrowed. "I saw the hurt in your eyes when you said it. But that didn't stop me for blowing up. Just the thought that you said it even though you never meant it makes my blood boil. Now please, just listen to me for once and stop talking." He walks faster, nearly running as he makes his way to the infirmary. Something begins stinging under my skin, making me hiss loudly as more blood droplets escape from my mouth. My eyes begin feeling heavy and my hearing becomes muffled. Something slips out of my mouth in the last second before I pass out cold. All I can remember is his widened, grey eyes.

* * *

 **Melody's POV**

All the fight scenes up to now are boring as fuck. I snort every single time someone fakes a knockout under a light punch. But what's even more annoying is my eyes wandering back to Four. And most of the time he's staring back. I smirk every time, pressing myself against Will, forcing Four to look away. Not gonna lie it's fun to piss him off, but deep down I feel guilty and my insides are ripping themselves into pieces. And then it's Tris' turn. She's a tough bitch, and I like her. I internally groan when she picks Eric of all people to fight against. But I still respect her for trying. She follows him towards the arena after murmuring something to Four. Before beginning their fight, Eric and Tris have a stare-down. Hah, it's almost as if they have some chemistry or something. But they do fit. She barely reaches up to his torso, yet they seem to fit so perfectly. Their battle is probably the best one up to now, I'm surprised that she didn't get knocked out by the first punch though. At one point she leans into him and for a moment they look like they're going to kiss. _As if!_ She must have said something to really piss him off because he turned into the beast that led him into earning the title of the most feared person in Dauntless.

Not long after she's done, he picks up almost like he cares about her. After calling back to Four to continue on with the fighting, shit gets real. Turning back to us, Four holds my gaze, his lips parted and his brows furrowed. In that moment I curse the gods that Will pulls me in for a deep kiss.

"Melody?" His voice causes me to happily break apart the kiss from Will. Wiping my mouth as I cringe inwardly, I walk up towards Four confidently.

"I want you," I whisper cryptically, but he gets what I mean. Smirking, he claps his hands together as he walks towards the arena, me following him just like Tris did Eric. Before he can nod his head for the battle to begin, I kick him hard in his crotch, causing him to stumble back. Before his ass hits the floor, I throw a blow onto his nose, giggling when I hear him curse. He recoils back by sliding his arm around my torso, pushing us back to my side of the arena. I bitch slap him hard and his head sways to the side because of the blow. He then grabs either side of my waist before mounting himself onto me, grabbing my thighs and painfully pushing them up towards my chest. I howl in pain, aiming to kick him in the face but he's too fast. He slides to the side, grabbing my head and forcing his arm around my neck. I begin choking and swearing at the same time, my legs trying to pick me up and shift myself out of his clutch. Right before I feel like I have no oxygen left in me he lets go and I'm panting for air. He picks himself up and begins walking away. I'm not done though. I push my leg forward, tripping him nicely as he lands on the ground again. I drag myself towards him but I do a double-take when I see his bloodied and bruised up face. _Shit, I didn't realize I fought that hard._ Letting him go, I grip his wrist tightly as he brings me up with him, not breaking our eye contact.

"You're staying after everyone's dismissed. We need to talk," he bellows right in my face before walking away, cleaning the blood on his face with his hand. I missed his musky cologne. Limping towards a gobsmacked Will, smirking at his reaction.

"You think I can't fight huh? Proved you wrong," I wink, grabbing him by the hem of his shirt and kissing him. My stomach turns and I am immediately uncomfortable. _What the fuck is wrong with me?_ I pull back, plastering on a fake smile which falters when I glance back at Four. I'd do anything to have him trade places with Will. _I'd do anything to make him pick me up from the ground again. Because that action sparked up a million different reactions in my body that Will can't and probably never will be able to achieve within me._

Four walks towards the lockers situated at the side of the room and I seize my chance. Limping away from Will I say "be right back babe, gonna go get an ice-pack." I jog hurriedly, tripping on my laces just as I pass Four. He swiftly catches me before I fall and I feel myself melting into his touch. A moan escapes from my mouth when he steadies me on my own legs, gripping my hips and causing my heart to nearly explode in my chest.

"Can you make the class finish quicker today," I raise my eyebrow just as he does.

"Uriah and Lynn, I know you'll be fighting each other, if one of you isn't out cold in less than two minutes, I'll play with your ranks. And you won't like it," he calls out as I continuously hold his gaze. My cuz and Uri happily accept the challenge, high fiving each other before turning into frightening warriors, either one of them trying to spill the other one's blood onto the arena's grimy floorboard. In the end, Uriah wins after a minute and fifty seconds of actually beating the shit out of each other! He hauls Lynn up, who snorts out that she's fine before moving towards the doors. I stand beside Will until Four begins dismissing everyone.

"Everyone dismissed. If you feel like you're not well go to the Infirmary. Rankings are going to be up tonight in the Pit. After that there's going to be a celebration to which you are allowed to drink. Tonight will probably be the best night of your life or your worst. Leave now...Melody," he nods at me before I turn and embrace Will, ducking when he tries to kiss me.

"Sorry babe, Four's waiting to probably scold my ass off for fracturing that jawline of his!" Just wait for me outside and then we can go check you out in the Infirmary," I wink before walking back to Four, who was eyeing my interactions with Will carefully. We wait for him to leave, listening to the door swing shut before we both relax beside each other.

"Want one?" He asks, picking up an ice-pack from the mini fridge. I roll my eyes.

"Cut with the shit Four, tell me, what is it you want from me?" His eyes wash over my body, making me tingle.

"You." He replies bluntly. I snort.

"Me? Aww," I pout, slowly walking towards him with my hands on my hips. "Did you get jealous because I kiss Will and not you? Shame shame." I pout more, opening my mouth to taunt him more before I immediately shut up when he grips me, slamming me roughly against the unused lockers. He then begins breaking into my personal space painfully slowly.

"Not one bit. Because no matter how long I stare at you forcing yourself onto him, I know very well where your heart truly belongs," I shiver as he presses on my abdomen, making me squint. Only he in this whole world knows this. I growl, licking my lips as his hot breath washes over my face.

"Tell me one thing, love." I raise my eyebrows, pressing myself against him with want.

"Can that transfer boyfriend of yours make you feel like this?" Before I question what the hell he is talking about, he captures my lips with his, kissing me with force and passion I can only dream about! I wrap my arms around his neck just as I drape my legs around his waist, pulling him closer. I run a hand through his hair as his hands find my ass.

"No." I moan, kissing him more and more. He begins smooching my collarbone before I move back, placing my palm at the back of his head. He nibbles on my bottom lip, our tongues meeting each other as the feeling of blissfulness and protection overwhelms me. _I didn't know that I could miss someone so much. I didn't know I was capable of missing him._

"Mel, where...what the fuck?" My boyfriend's voice reaches my ears and in that moment I know that I have to stop. But I can't. I continue grazing my lips over Four's; praying that common sense will enter within his mind at least and that he's going to be the one to break away from our hot, messy scene. I can feel tears form in my eyes as I try to stop Four from kissing me even more. I hear Will back away and slam the door so powerfully it wakes my senses of guilt which forces me to stop.

"Four," I whimper, grabbing a handful of his shirt as I pull him into an embrace. He sees the tears and kisses my forehead, simultaneously wiping the droplets off my face.

"I missed you, Mel," he sighs, his full lips resting on my forehead as I bite away the feeling of pain. Shaking my head lightly, I push him away just enough for me to squeeze past him.

"I need to go find him." My voice wobbles as I begin jogging towards the exit. "And do what? Because when I said I wanted you, I fucking meant it." I turn to stare at him and for the first time I see real emotion in his eyes. He's broken and he's fighting a battle of his own in his head. His demons have gotten to him and I can't say no. Smiling weakly as I continue walking backwards I say, "I want you too Four. With all my heart. But I need to talk to Will about this. He doesn't deserve to be part of this fucked-up equation. If only you didn't fucking walk away from me the second you became an instructor." He opens his mouth but I wave my hand.

"I'll find you. But right now I have a really bad feeling in my gut and I _need_ to find him," I call out, slipping out of the room. I don't hear him follow.

* * *

"Will!" My throat is dry after three hours of literally looking high and low for him. I tried giving up a couple of times but then I hear his voice when he caught me and Four in action and I just continue. _If he deserves something, it's a real explanation. I'm not one to cheat purposefully with some random person I just met. Me and Four are something he will have to understand. He is my past, my present and my future. Friends, boyfriends- they come and go- but Four will always be with me at the back of my mind. I need Will to understand it._

"Have you seen a crying initiate around here?" I bluntly ask yet another passerby as I stumble through the same hallway for the millionth time. I squint my eyes in the raw darkness as I see four familiar figures walking towards me, laughing. Hoping that Will is one of them, I jog towards them.

"Guys, have you seen Will? Shit happened, I need to find him. Like now," I explain as I circle around Lynn, Marlene, Uriah and Peter; who all take turns shrugging or shaking their heads in the negative. "Fuck!" I growl, kicking the floor under me before continuing on with my journey through the darker and now narrower hallways. After another hour wasted on hopeless circling and ending up beside the Pit, I slump down, slouching as I huff out my impatience and frustration. Dangling my feet above the abyss, I hum to myself, swaying side to side as I think over the paralyzing kiss that shook me of my senses. I listen to the roaring waters under me, but that does not deafen me enough to not be able to hear his footsteps. _Four's_.

"What happened? Did you find him? I told you I have this bad feel..."

"Mel," he whispers softly, clutching my wrists, using them as the anchor which pulls me closer to him. I stare into his orbs. They are the color of earth kissed by spring rains, the hue that promises to stir life from dormant seeds, the nascent plants guided upward by the light before blossoming into the vibrant colors of a new season. I can think up of so many different metaphors- all depicting his mesmerizing stare that can hypnotize me within seconds. But now, they are hiding unimaginable sadness and regret, which makes me want to be sick.

"I..uh...went to check the security footage in the Control Room after you said that you had a bad feeling about this. And uh...I saw him getting cornered...by three people which I assume are Christina's lackeys...and they..." His eyes drop as he stares into the boisterous Chasm. I don't even remember how I ended up on the floor. My stomach was turning and I felt like I was going to vomit out the crackers I had digested only a few hours ago. I cry as if the ferocity of it might bring Will back; as if by the sheer force of my grief the news would be undone. He was gone. Even from the top of the Pit, members were huddling together as they all squint down in an attempt to locate the source of the screaming sobs. Four tries to hold me back, to calm me down, but in my hysteria I am too strong, too wild. My screams are so intense they absorb the shrieks of the crashing waves. In my moment of blackout, I nearly trip and follow Will's steps. But Four's here to save me. _Four is here with me instead of Will._

"NO!" I let out a blood-curdling, high-pitched scream; ignoring the commotion happening around us. I feel the man cradling me stiffen, as he backs away from the edge with me in his arms.

"What happened?" Yells out an unknown voice.

"An initiate has jumped. She is suffering a mental breakdown...get a rope!" Four's commanding bellow urges people to spring into action. I continue weeping, sobbing, screeching. _No words can depict the mess that I have become._

"Melody, you need to calm down. Breathe goddammit breathe in...out...in..." He places his palms on either side of my face, shaking me in a panicky manner. I follow his orders, only to breakdown louder and louder every single time as I remember that it's my fault that Will is dead.

 _My fault._

I feel my consciousness slip away from me as my head rolls to the side. The noise turns into silence and the pain turns into numbness. I don't realize that Four has picked me up and I don't know where he is taking me. Groaning, I use all my force to push onto his chest, making him stumble as I fall out of his arms. Staggering up, I point my index finger at him and through teary eyes, I glare at him.

"Don't you dare touch me. Me being around you...all of this...it's my fault..." I break down, sinking to the floor as he follows my suit, falling to his knees beside me. "Baby no, it was never your fault. How could it be your fault. It was murder. A sick, cold-blooded act of murder...not your faul..."

"Oh so we're going to ignore what led to him being so vulnerable huh?" I yell at him, backing away. "Four, you've been evading me for about a year now. After being so close. After knowing how much you meant to me. You put your job as your priority. You put your job before me. Before us. And then I finally meet someone who has made me feel loved again, and your jealous ass storms in turning everything I had built with my own hands to the bad side. Why did you do this...if you never told me to stay after...this wouldn't..." So many tears burst forth like water from a dam, spilling down my face. My chin trembles as if I am a small child. I breathe heavier than I ever had before. I gasp for air that simply isn't there. My throat burns forming a silent scream as my shoulders shake uncontrollably. I have no power left in me to try and shove him away when he pulls me into him once more.

"And this whole year of evading you has been probably my worst year here so far. Please baby...I'll explain everything. Not here though. Please." His pleading voice and frowning expression stops me from punching him and running away. I nod, wrapping my arms around his neck as he lifts me up and takes me to his apartment. When we get there, he leans down careful enough not to drop me as he enters the code of his quarters. Shutting the door behind him, he paces towards the bedroom, setting me down on the comfortable duvet. I immediately roll into his pillows, taking in his calming scent, cherishing it. _God I miss him. But he's here; with me. Will isn't._ I bite onto the pillow, trying to hide my vexed pain as much as I can. Four, pulls off my shoes before taking off my pants, leaving me in my tank top, sports bra and lace underwear. I don't care though; this isn't the first time we've been like this.

"Here," his hard, instructor voice is back as he hands me a glass of water and a pill. I gladly accept them before putting the glass onto the nightstand beside the bed. I then wrap my arms around him, whispering for him to continue. He sighs, pausing. I pull back to meet his hurt glare, the pain written all over his expression. "Start slow," I help out, looking away as I hold his hand for support.

"Life has never been easy for me. You know that well. And...you know how shit I am at these long sappy, heartfelt speeches so I'll just cut to the chase. The day I told you that we can no longer...be us...was the day I felt a big part of me die. Waver away into oblivion. There hasn't been a day where I wouldn't wake up or go to sleep with your name on my lips. You have no idea how many times I've snuck into your dorms while you were sleeping, just so I can see your precious, peaceful state." I break into a small smile. "Anyway, that dead part of me...it was brought back to life as soon as your lips touched mine. If you want to blame someone, don't you dare blame yourself." He takes my hand and places it over his chest. "Blame me. Blame me for acting stupid and kissing you when I knew that you had a boyfriend. Blame me for cursing any boy trying to touch you. Blame me for being so in love with you Mel." I gasp at his confession. But the turmoil hidden behind that clenched jawline of his is gone as he physically relaxes.

"Tobias," I whisper, meeting his tear-filled eyes as I move over to sit in between his legs. Using his real name means that things are serious. It's rare but extremely meaningful between us. "I wish I could explain your eyes, and how the sound of your voice gives me butterflies. How your stupid smile makes me skip a heartbeat and how I feel so complete when I am with you." He nods, biting his lips as he moves to rest his head against mine. "I can tell you how." I answer his question only to have him slither his hand around my waist.

"By being mine. My voice will always give you butterflies and my stupid smile will always make you skip a heartbeat. And I'm always going to be here with you. Just be with me." His voice breaks but I smile nonetheless, nodding. We gaze deep into each other's eyes, waiting for one of us to say something.

"I love you, Tobias."

"I can't believe how hard I've fallen for you. I love you."

* * *

 **A/N**

 **It's two in the morning yet I feel like I need to post this ASAP haha. I would like to thank Damn You Kylie for the help with Melody and Four's relationship progress. You're the best.**

 **Also, I want to send out a big thank you to all the people who are still reading, who have favorited/ followed and reviewed the story! 3 You have no idea how excited I get every single time I see another comment or another notification that someone else is following the story!**

 **One last thing lol, I would like to address this to the people (including the lovely guest who's review made me so very happy) that Eric and Tris' relationship is supposed to be very complicated, and I'm actually really glad that you are understanding that. They've both got their demons to fight against, yet even through all this, they are still staying strong. I personally think that a fic where it's all plain and lovey is a bit boring. But with time, they'll adjust don't worry! ;)**

 **Till next time, stay tuned! X**


	25. Love Bites And Quarrels

_[Beep beep beep]_

I grunt as I slowly open my eyes; my head throbbing painfully and the world twirling around me. Looking down, I find myself in my usual hospital bed and a thin tube is attached to my wrist's vein with the help of a needle. Trailing the tube with my eyes, I reach a small, transparent bag filled with lavender liquid to the top; the droplets gradually trickling down the pipe and into my body. Suddenly, I feel the urge to burst into an uncontrollable laughter. My hysteria slurs with my painful warnings of my body's battered form, but I cannot find the will to stop. Wheezing, I clutch my side as I steady myself with my free of the tube right hand. My mind begins playing tricks on me as little petals, daisies and roses appear in front of me. I gape in awe, widening my eyes as I try to touch them. The curtain is pulled violently only to reveal Eric, who quickly paces towards me. He grabs my head and leans in as he inspects my dazed state. I giggle reaching up to bop his nose before going for his hair. He shrugs me off.

"Tris..." We both turn around to meet the dark eyes of Nurse Sara, who is squinting her eyes as she looks from me to Eric. He walks towards her and slaps the file in her hands, leaning in viciously.

"What the fuck is wrong with her?" He points back at me, not breaking eye contact with the pale girl. She visibly gulps, walking around him before handling the fluid-filled bag connected to me. I whimper mockingly as I attempt to get out of bed. "Ericcc," I pout, feeling the tears glisten in my eyes, although now I feel anything but sadness. I stretch my arms out for him. My subconscious is screaming at me to be careful. _Sara is here._ "Hug meee," I whisper, giggling under his death glare. He presses his lips together, narrowing his eyes but I just stick my tongue out at him, wishing that I can overcome the amount of pain my muscles are going through just to hug him. I pick a random strand of my hair and begin twirling it around my finger, shifting back and forth as I hum to myself. Sara curses under her breath.

"We've accidentally given her a higher dosage of the peace serum," she whispers timidly, glancing back at the silently raging Eric. "Why would you even give her the peace serum? We're Dauntless. We shouldn't even have that Amity shit," he growls angrily, taking a step towards her. She jumps back slightly, unhooking me away from the fluid before attaching me back to another liquid filled bag. As soon as it enters my bloodstream, I immediately calm down, resting back onto the pillows as I let my eyes drop. Barely awake, I force myself to continue listening to the infuriated leader and the nervous nurse.

"...so she was too battered. You could have killed her Eric. She won't remember anything...internal bleeding...shock...excruciating pain...she's lucky." Her words stand out and I can only imagine that she is talking about the consequences of my stupid choice. I feel him slump down on the end of my bed, squeezing my leg lightly through the warm blanket.

"She'll be okay," he mutters; I can hear his genuine smile on his lips as he says it. I sigh contently before turning my head to the side, my consciousness ebbing away, my mind going into a free fall, swirling with the beautiful chaos of a new dream.

* * *

I must have been asleep for a few more hours. This time I feel different as I slowly bring myself back to reality. Looking around, I meet the curious, silver eyes of the young Dauntless leader that put me in the Infirmary in the first place. He is sitting in the chair in the corner of the room, beside my bed; resting his elbows on his knees; his contemplating stare sending shivers down my spine. I run a hand through my hair as he furrows his brows slightly, shuffling out of his seat to sit beside me.

"Hey," I croak out, frowning at the sound of my raspy voice. He chuckles, smirking as he runs two fingers across my cheek. I lean into his touch, smiling as much as my face muscles allow me. He cocks his head to the side, squinting his eyes a little.

"...How are you feeling?" His low voice sends me into a vortex of blissfulness and excitement. "Like I just got beaten up by the toughest guy here." He pulls his lips together, lowering his head. "I'm fine, really." I trail his maze tattoo on his forearm. He nods, still not meeting my eyes.

"Uh...do you remember anything that happened today?" He sounds curious and I don't know why. I pause to go over what I recall from after the fight and the memories only come in a scruffy shape. I shake my head slightly.

"I remember calling you out to fight against me. I remember each punch...oh." I wince as I relive the moment when I flipped his switch and turned it to the worst. He senses my uneasiness and urges me to skip that part. I bite my bottom lip before continuing. "After I was unable to continue...you took me to the Infirmary. I don't know what happened between the time after leaving the training room and before entering the hospital area. Did we fight...?" I search his face for clues; something that might help me figure out what I had lost during that period of alone time with him. Nothing.

"Oh ok," he sighs, deeply relieved but at the same time disappointed at my answer. I raise my eyebrows, flinching at the pain. "You know if I said something stupid or if something happened, I want you to tell me..."

"No no," he retorts quickly, "Nothing happened, don't worry about it. I shouldn't have asked such a question after you've gone through such a traumatic experience." I exhale, nodding, not wanting to push him more. I smile at him, wishing with all my heart that we were secluded and back in his apartment.

"Kiss me," I sigh out, forgetting how mad I was at his cold demeanor just this morning. He laughs quietly before leaning in, only to be stopped by a voice calling his name behind the curtain. He moves back as he puts his sternest and grim expression onto his beautiful features. I fall back into bed, expressing the pain I had just put myself through with a whimper. Eric's face softens and I can see him fighting the urge to sit beside me again. He scowls when the curtain is pulled back to reveal Four's pained face. He looks baffled; as if he is legitimately surprised to see the Dauntless leader here.

"Um hi, I need you for a sec Eric." His voice is low and quiet, urgent. Eric smirks cockily before following him out. I hear them exchange words right outside. I hear Eric yell out "WHAT" before Four tells him to lower his voice down...but not nicely. They argue for a bit more and I can't pick out what they're saying. Towards the end of the conversation, I hear Four saying my name. I try and sit up but my ribs and abdomen begin burning so I decide against it. Finally, Eric slides back in the room before turning around and telling Four to go away. His brows are furrowed and he's chewing on his bottom lip. I send him another smile, as much as I can at least- which might have been enough for someone to call it a contorted glare. He sits down, rubbing his eyes before exhaling loudly. He looks paler, which causes my stomach to drop.

"Hey," I reach for his hand but he catches it before I get to even raise my arm out. He leans in and kisses my lips; brushing them over my forehead. "Talk to me, what's bothering you?" I whisper, staring at him with pure affection. He smiles at me gently, a smile I have probably never seen before.

"I'm sorry Tris..." My eyes widen as I feel the blood leave my face. He moves closer; afraid to tell me what the fuck is happening.

"Spit it out..." I snarl, my voice faltering and breaking. He sucks a breath through his teeth, avoiding my glare.

"Will was found dead in the Chasm, baby, I'm so sorry. I know that he was a good friend of yours." He carefully pulled me in a hug. I grit my teeth, feeling like the whole world has collapsed around me. My heart is screaming at me. _Who did this to him? He didn't deserve this._ And then I breakdown into a sob. Eric clutches me. It's probably really embarrassing for him to see me so weak all the time. I place my hand on his broad chest and push lightly.

"Eric...just go. I don't want you to see me so weak all the time." He growls and I look up to see his angry and pained expression. _Why the hell is he hurt?_

"Don't tell me to leave. Please. You're afraid that I'm going to judge you that you're crying." I nod slightly, unable to stop the tears from pouring down onto my blanket. Now he looks upset.

"Do you really think I'm that heartless and cold? To the mere point where I'd make fun of you for mourning the loss of your friend?" His low and pained voice; his words; it all hits me at once. When the words would not come, the tears do. I cry like a child, noisily, with running snot and choking sobs and I am finally not ashamed of it. I stretch my arms out for him; happy that he runs to the rescue without a second thought as he once again folds his arms protectively around me. Protective against the pain.

"I'm sorry Eric...I need you now...don't go." I whimper out, grabbing a fistful of his black shirt. He smirks in my hair, kissing the top of my head. "I wasn't going to leave anyway." I laugh through the tears until the cramps of my bruised up ribs and stomach hit me with full force. I gasp for air, pounding my palm onto the mattress. He lets go, panic-stricken.

"What's going on? What did I do?" I cough up more blood, holding my hand out for him. He ignores me and rushes out calling for Sara. She sprints in, patting my back as she makes him bring me a towel. She soaks up the blood as I ask her what the hell is going on with me through chokes. I see her glance at Eric before sending me a sympathetic smile.

"After the beating we checked you out and you were internally bleeding with your ruptured ribs rubbing onto your lungs. Stay put and I'm going to hook you up to the strongest healing serum we have here. It's going to hurt a bit but it's going to fix you up in no time..."

"Why didn't you give her that when I first brought her in bleeding," Eric barks out, glowering at a non-affected Sara. She continues strapping me to another wire connected to an IV. "We only use it for extreme situations. The case has to be severe; like this one. When she first began coughing up blood we thought we fixed it. I guess we were wrong." He shuts up, looking down guiltily. I sigh when the fluids enter my system, wincing at the growing pain in my lungs. Gritting my teeth, I need to stay courageous. _I am strong. I can do it._ I stare at Sara.

"How long till I am able to leave? The ranks are gonna be up later on..." I ask timidly, biting my lip, frustrated.

"You can leave when all the fluids are in your body. It'll take a couple of hours. If you want I can call someone to stay with..."

"I have nothing to do so I'll just stay here...in case she begins coughing up her guts again. And then I need to file paperwork and nahh I can't deal with it," he smirks. She nods coolly and walks away. I sigh out in relief. Eric moves back into his chair, groaning as he runs a hand through his messed-up, cute hair. I cross my arms, carefully avoiding the needle. He looks up questioningly. I pat the empty space beside me, quirking my eyebrows playfully. He hurriedly paces towards me, spreading himself beside me, putting an arm around me as I rest my head on his chest. We chat for a while; me relaxing under his touch as he plays with my hair. It would have been perfect if I wasn't strapped to medicine that kept me from spilling out my circulatory system.

"What time is it?" I whisper, tucking onto his wrist to reveal what his watch says.

 _18:24_

I snap my head by to the IV, laughing excitedly when I see that there's no more fluid in there. I rip the needle out of my arm before smoothing out my hair. Hopping out of the bed, I walk towards the small cart filled with different medical equipment and I rummage around to find a suitable little plaster to put over the small hole. When my mission is accomplished; I glance at Eric who is standing up hastily as he pats down his jeans; an amused expression on his face. I hobble over towards him, still trying to be careful with all my sudden actions.

"The rankings?" He nods before his features turn serious. He looks away.

"Before revealing them, there's going to be a memorial speech in memory of the deceased initiate...sorry Will." I lower my head, feeling his wrap his arms around me, pulling me closer to him gently. "It's just going to be a small speech, we do this every year." I flinch at his untouched tone. He isn't used to caring about other people so I'm not really mad that he is unaffected. At least he's trying. I look up, holding his gaze.

"Eric, if you know who did it, tell me now. Please." My voice is barely audible but it's clear enough for him to understand. He explains to me how when Four came to tell him the news it was known that Molly, Drew and Al were in charge of the brutal murder. He had barely survived the fall surprisingly, however he died because of the shock. It was too much for him.

"His girlfriend being a Dauntless-born tried to hunt them down an hour ago. Only got to Al. The other two hid well somewhere around the compound."

"Isn't the Leadership going to punish them?" He nods, biting the inside of his cheek before smirking down at me.

"After the speech, since I'm the one who's usually in charge of _things like that_ , sorry, Max told me to call them out and publicly humiliate them by kicking them out of Dauntless in front of everyone." I smile, draping my arms around his waist. I feel no pity whatsoever for them. Even with _her_ becoming Factionless, they have chosen to follow her command and get kicked out too. Eric squeezes a little harder, making me wince in pain but I quickly suppress it. We hear Uriah and Peter's voices enter the Infirmary as they hunt me down. In the few last moments of peace and quiet, I press my lips against his, earning a pleased growl from him.

"I'm gonna go find Four to check on the rankings one last time. Also, I think Uriah is planning something tonight. You know how loud he talks. Watch yourself. When everything is all over come find me. If not, just go to my apartment," he adds quickly before stepping away just in time for the two boys to jump into my vision. They immediately stop laughing under the intimidating glare of their superior who nonchalantly slips past them, winking at me before disappearing behind the curtain. They both visibly relax. I walk over to them, pulling them both into a tight hug, laughing and telling Peter off when he tries to pick me up with the help of Uriah. He jumps on the bed, gasping at the sight of my untouched pudding on the bedside.

"Go ahead," I nod, shaking my head as I turn to Peter. I ruffle his hair before he hugs me again.

"We all thought he killed you, hell, you still look as good as dead." I roll my eyes as I playfully push myself off his chest. "As if. You're probably just jealous because I look too damn good for a person who just got beaten by Eric." Now it's his turn to toss his eyes towards the ceiling before we engage in small talk as Uriah finishes off the dessert. Mid laugh; my smile falters as I remember how one of us has been killed ruthlessly just a few hours ago. And here we are laughing and enjoying ourselves. I gulp.

"Have you heard about...?" They exchange sad glances before dropping their heads. I sigh.

"We didn't know how well you were before we got here. We figured that it wouldn't be good for you if we came here all depressed and sad. We just wanted to help..." Peter says quietly as I shuffle towards him, grabbing his hand. "I know. Eric told me about it before anyway. It just sucks that we're having fun when Will got..."

"Tris we can't be sad every single time something bad happens to us. Mourning and watching someone die is just a part of life. I think we're all feeling a little bit guilty about how we're going to celebrate tonight even though we lost someone dear to us. But we need to move on. I'm really going to miss him, so is Peter and so are you. But I am not letting any of us to ruin tonight. Because tonight is one step closer for us to become a full-fledged Dauntless member. We all know Will won't want us rolling around the Pit crying about him when we want to become fearless warriors," Uriah declares seriously. _I low-key feel like whenever Uriah is humorless, then things are really serious because that very rarely happens._ We all nod at each other _. He's right. And it just sucks that he is_.

We begin walking back to the Cafeteria and a couple of members stop to pat me, congratulate me and even bow their heads at me respectfully after my final fight against their most feared leader. At one point I'm out of breath, the pain of the bruising too much, so Peter has to carry me. We enter like that; me on Peter's back whilst Uriah is sulking behind us like a forgotten puppy. He lets me go when we're at our usual table before going to get me some water.

"How do you feel? Ranks are gonna be up in two hours? You excited?" Uriah exclaims, bouncing on his bench opposite me.

"It doesn't matter what I feel. What actually matters is how you feel. I wonder, do you feel sad, happy, maybe tired?" I snicker as he rolls his eyes at me.

"So Marlene told me to tell you that she wants you to come see her in the dorms after we spend our time with you. She wants to get you all pretty and dressed up for the celebration. Girl things I don't know," he puts his hands in the air as I chuckle, thanking Peter when he hands me a glass of water before propping himself next to me. "So anyway Trissy," Uriah exclaims, sending me a playfully dark look as I tilt my head.

"Mm?" I sip the water as I wait for Uriah to continue. "Well my brother Zeke is gonna go out celebrating with his girlfriend Shauna and Four and he's not gonna be home till late; I'm allowed to bring some people over, have alcohol and aghhh it's gonna be so fun! We can play different games, Trissy, we're gonna be Dauntless!" I laugh, nodding my head as I wholeheartedly accept his invitation. Looking at the time, I see that it's nearly seven and I should slowly begin moving back to the dorms to get ready and see Melody and Marlene. I say my goodbyes, sealing them with a quick hug before limping out of the Cafeteria.

I pass the Chasm, deep in thought before turning around someone's voice calling me.

 _Al._

I glower, turning back to walk towards the dormitory, giving him a second chance to go away. I hear his heavy steps follow me as I march away angrily.

"Tris please wait..." He squeezes my aching shoulder and moments later I have kicked him down to the ground. He whimpers like the coward he is, not even fighting against me. I snort, capturing his neck in my hand.

"How dare you try and speak to me after murdering Will. _One of us!_ He _chose_ to be in this Faction and _you_ and those other _fuckers_ took that choice away from him. Damn you," I spit at him, anger fueling within me to the point where I have no filter. _It must be the Candor in me._ He shakes his head violently, large tears welling down his cheeks.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to...please understand...I was forced..." I snort, shutting him up by clasping his cheeks together making him hiss in pain.

"Shut up. No one can force you to do anything unless you're too weak to not be able to fight back. If you try talk to me or anyone else about your whiny little problems, I am going to end you. Got it?" He nods fervently before slumping to the ground, rubbing his face. I angrily continue my way down the hallway until I enter the Dauntless-born sleeping area. I look around until my eyes rest upon the two figures lying in the furthest bed. I hobble over to see Melody; her head resting on Marlene's lap. They both turn towards me; the blonde girl sending me a warm smile; both their eyes bloodshot. They both look like a mess and my heart is breaking.

"Hey," I say weakly, crouching down before sitting in the space beside Marlene- who pulls me in a calculated-over-Melody embrace. I look down at the broken girl who has remained silent, running my hand through her onyx hair. She grins softly, tears pouring down her face as she sits up, wiping her face.

"Do you wanna just skip tonight? I can run down, get some desserts and we can just feast on them here without caring about how we look?" I retort, huddling closer to Marlene's side. Melody shakes her head.

"No. Will died and I am heart-broken. It feels like I actually can't breathe given the fact that I'm the reason he ran off in the first place." I widen my eyes as Marlene shoots her a shocked glare.

"Mel...don't do this." She turns back to me just as Melody sniffs loudly, wiping her eyes impatiently. "Whatever, it's only Tris. Tell her what a piece of shit I am." Marlene sucks air between her teeth before hastily talking me through what had happened between her and Four, and how they've known each other for a while. I sit there, amazed and to an extent relieved. With time, maybe I can finally tell someone other than Uriah about me and Eric, _maybe Melody can understand it._ In the end, I grab her hand, squeezing it tightly.

"Don't blame yourself. Just because he ran out right after he saw you and Four doesn't prove anything. It just happened because of the timing. I just don't think it's right for you to blame yourself. After all, it's not like you forced yourself onto Four to make this happen. It's past seven, rankings are out in an hour, your call Mel. What do we do?" She smiles, squeezing my hand as her other hand finds Mar's. We stare at her thoughtful expression, waiting patiently. She sighs.

"We're going. I'm not ruining you guys' night just because I'm sulking around. Maybe going out and having some alcohol can ease my nerves. Help me get ready though." I grin when she hoists me up to my feet while Marlene maneuvers around us to go through her pile of clothes on the edge of her bed beside Mel's. She throws a backless, burgundy dress towards Melody; with no sleeves and a thick, black belt strapped around the waist area. She then turns to me as she crosses her arms across her chest in thought.

"Give her the lucky dress," Melody calls out with a wink, earning an 'ah' from Marlene. I send them a confused gape. "The what dress?" Melody laughs before turning around to clasp on her matching red, strapless bra. My cheeks redden as I look down, still getting used to the comfort shared between the girls.

"Basically whenever someone wears that dress something good happens to them. I wore it once when I was a dependent and I walked into the Pit without getting caught because yanno dependents aren't even allowed to be down here. Marlene wore it one time and Uriah kissed her for the first time. All sorts of things happen when you're wearing the dress." I laugh, shaking my head at her eagerness. She is smiling now, and that's all that matters. I turn and stare at the fabric Marlene is holding.

It was a tight, black dress with no designs on it. It was so simple it even surprised me. It was nicely cut out in the front for people who had some cleavage and it ended a little before the knee area. It wasn't too short but I'm still getting used to showing my legs through the leggings we have to wear for training. She tosses it towards me and I catch it, gasping at how soft the fabric feels under my touch. I look up, meeting their proud stares.

"What?" I laugh and they just exchange a glance before shaking their heads. I hurriedly change into the dress, feeling it stick to my body in the most natural way possible. It was showing too much of me but somehow I feel so comfortable I didn't say no. Mel then let me borrow her ankle strapped, low-heeled boots which match the color and simplicity of the dress. I don't do much to my hair except brushing it out and letting Mel braid a couple of extremely tiny plaits on the right side of my head to exploit the couple of new piercings as well as the first one I got done. I then let Marlene play around with her makeup on my face, listening to her thoroughly explaining what eye-shadow is and where you're supposed to put mascara. When I was done, I slowly walked over to the bathroom to finally take my new appearance in. Upon arrival, I gasp at the sight. The dress' color and tightness had hugged my curves and enhanced them to a petite hourglass figure, the openness of the top part revealing my raven tattoo as well as the few bruises I sport here and there. My complexion is unnaturally pale, but I blame the lighting, not the beating I have forgotten about in the moment. I lean in, examining the light shade of purple pressing onto my eyelids as they bring out my hazel eyes. I raise my eyebrows, inwardly congratulating Marlene for her fantastic concealment of the cuts and blemishes on my cheeks and the plumpness of my lips. _For once I feel satisfied with my appearance._

I walk back to see Melody leaning down as she attempts to put on her stiletto heels without ripping the dress with her actions. _I can't even walk around in these boots let alone in heels?_ The dress looks gorgeous on her and the dark makeup along with the matte-black lipstick further highlights her striking green eyes and the silver studs on her face. Marlene is wearing a beautiful, satin red dress that is quite short in the front but longer at the back with matching-colored boots going up after her knees. She has a black ribbon clasped around her waist and her hair falls loosely down to her chest. She too- is sporting dark makeup with a wine red shade of lipstick, making her teeth look whiter than the Erudite building. I envy how naturally perfect they both are compared to me. They both gasp as they look me from head to toe, making me blush. They walk on over to me, Melody a bit taller than me now wearing heels and Marlene taller than both of us even though she isn't wearing that big of a heel.

"You ready to be one step closer to being a full-fledged Dauntless member?" She whispers earning a sharp nod from Melody and a shy shrug from me. I nearly end up on the floor because of the light nudge she sends my way but I am saved because in the last moment I clasp onto both of their forearms for support. "Alright alright, obviously…now let's go," I giggle, letting them lead me into the full Pit. The music is extremely loud and there are already people drunk by the bar. The lighting is a tinted red, which for some reason makes me feel both relaxed and uneasy at the same time. I feel the girls both clasp either of my hands as we try and squeeze through the crowd to find our boys. We find them somewhere in the center of the dance-floor, Peter awkwardly shuffling around a tipsy Uriah who is dancing violently like no one's watching. I laugh loudly and surprisingly Peter twists around to meet my eyes, given the fact that we were surrounded by heaps of noise. His lips part slightly as he takes in my appearance just like the girls did before, no judgement filled in his eyes. I walk over to him, nearly tripping over again. _Maybe this dress really is lucky!_ I let my eyes quickly gaze down at his appearance. He and Uriah are wearing matching black shirts with the first button undone; and black jeans. They are both really handsome. I open my mouth to say something but am interrupted by Marlene's soft voice in my ear.

"We're going to go get drinks. Wanna come?" Before I can agree, I feel Peter shove his glass in my palm. "Take mine, I don't want it," he yells over the music and immediately I feel too uncomfortable to give it back so I agree. I take small sips as I follow him to the slightly less populated part of the dance-floor. His hair is longer and dreaded and it hangs just above his ears and the smile he is wearing makes him appear less threatening.

"You look hot," he says bluntly making me choke mid-sip. I laugh, wiping my chin as I enthusiastically accept the compliment. "You don't look that bad either Peter!" He grins, rolling his eyes before we both turn to see a stumbling Uriah make his way to us.

"WOW," he shouts, pointing at me, "Look at you! You look so good Trissy, I mean you look good anyway but you know..."

"Thanks Uriii," I waver him off, pulling him and Peter into a tight sloppy hug before jumping at the familiar voice of my favorite leader beckoning us to shut up. I walk to stand beside Melody and Marlene who are near to where Eric and Max are standing on the higher level of the Pit. I see his eyes skim across the room before they land on me, and when they do, I can visibly tell how he sucked in a breath quickly. I lower my head, slightly embarrassed at his reaction to my appearance and of coarse pleased with Mel and Marlene's work on me.

"Before revealing the final ranking marks, the Leadership would like to shed light to a very unfortunate event that took place earlier today. An initiate known as Will died by getting pushed into the Chasm by three fellow initiates." A series of different gasps erupt around the room. "Pure jealousy if you ask me." I find myself and my friends involve ourselves in the series of cheers replacing the gasps from a moment ago. "Therefore I would like to call out Molly, Drew and Al." He points somewhere towards the back and we all turn to see the trio frozen on the stop as they had just entered the Pit. "As a leader of Dauntless it is my duty to be able to pick out the best of the best, and seeing that you are all sharing an ugly trait that is strictly frowned upon in this faction; you are giving me no other choice but to send you off to the Factionless." His cold, untouched voice sends shudders down my back yet I find myself cheering loudly when he kicks them out of Dauntless. I laugh heartlessly when I look at how Molly breaks down, screaming and stomping her feet like a child in a tantrum. Al goes pale and Drew rolls his eyes before trying to pull Molly back to her feet. "You have ten minutes to pack your belongings and exit the compound. If you are still here by the eleventh minute, we will use force. Don't even try to hide; there's cameras all around the compound. So you better get going." Boos break out throughout the Pit as the three run out shamefully. Turning back to Eric, he clears his throat loudly, calling for attention. "Back to Will. We did not choose a life of ease when we let our blood sizzle on that coal. And the truth of it is; Will is now exploring an unknown, uncertain place. Who among us is brave enough to venture into that darkness without knowing what lies beyond it? Will was not yet one of our members, but we can be assured that he was one of our bravest! We will celebrate him now, and remember him always!" He lifts the bottle he is holding and takes a gulp out of it, barely squinting at the taste of the alcohol. He raises the bottle before shouting, "To Will the Courageous!" I raise my glass with him, along with pretty much every dauntless member holding a drink.

"To Will," they chant until his name is no longer his name. That is until Eric tells us to shut up again. He turns towards the digital board beside him before fiddling around with the remote he is holding.

"The results," he bellows, moving to the side just as our names begin trickling into our sight. At first I don't see my name, but then I widen my eyes when I see:

 **5\. Tris**

I feel Uriah picking me up and twirling me in the air as I pump my fists up, urged to yell louder as the cheers and congratulations around us are too loud. When he finally decides to put me down I run to hug Peter, Marlene and Melody in turn. Someone taps me on the shoulder and I turn to see a smirking Lynn. I scoff, laughing as I pull her into a tight hug.

"Where were you?" I yell over the cheers and the music. She shrugs.

"I may or may not have been waiting for the perfect moment to beat that Molly bitch up. Like her getting kicked out of Dauntless was my calling! I had to!" I roll my eyes before hugging her again and returning back to the rest of the group. This was perfect. _If only Will was here with us too._

"Hey!" Melody shouts, grabbing her cousin by the arm, nodding her head to the bar. Lynn smirks before walking up to the bartender, engaging in flirtatious small-talk whilst Mel sneaks in behind the bar to grab as many bottles of whatever booze she can find. Marlene and I go help out until the bartender shrieks out for us to stop what we're doing. Our master plan would've failed if Melody didn't warn us to take our heels off because now we are sprinting for our lives towards the exit. I turn around, trying to see the ruthless leader somewhere in the Pit.

"GO TRIS CONTINUE GO GO GO," Peter howls from behinds me as I follow the girls and Uriah out and into the resident hallways towards the apartment. We are all laughing and hysterical when we finally reach Zeke's apartment. Uriah unlocks the front door before leading us to the living room. We all sit down around the coffee table, placing our bottles in the center.

"Excellent!" Uriah exclaims whilst clapping his hands and sitting in between me and Marlene. We begin drinking and playing card games. Well I'm not really playing, more like I'm listening to the rules and then laughing at Lynn's reactions when she loses. Melody turns the speakesr on and the mood is really set for a party! I hold onto my glass of whiskey as I talk to Peter who also isn't part of the card game.

"Alright I'm done I wanna play something else," Lynn sighs loudly when she throws her cards at Uriah. "Fine fine. Suggestions?" I look around, amused at their thoughtful expressions. Until Lynn's face lights up.

"Candor or Dauntless! Oh my god we haven't played that in years!" Uriah groans while Marlene barks out a soft laugh. I frown slightly.

"What's that?"

"It's basically truth or dare but we call it Candor or Dauntless, Uriah loves it huh!" Uriah grumbles again before hiding his face behind a pillow. I pull it away laughing before leaning close to him to the point where only he can hear what I'm saying. "What's wrong Uri? Did they ask you who you like?" His face goes red and he shakes his head. "Even worse. I had to go to Eric and ask him to marry me." We begin laughing until I have to clutch my side.

"So...uh...did he say yes?" Peter chuckles, wiping a tear. Uriah looks ahead like as if we had just asked him about the darkest times of his life.

"He instructed Ida the cook to ban chocolate cake in the cafeteria for a month. A WHOLE MONTH." We laugh again until we can't breathe.

"ANYWAY I'LL PLAY AS LONG AS ERIC AND I AM NOT INVOLVED." We all agree and the games begin. Lynn begins.

"Marlene, Candor or Dauntless?" The latter smirks and replies, "Candor." Lynn looks shocked but she plays on. "Okay...would you rather be Factionless or Amity?" She laughs before humming in thought.

"To be honest I'd rather be Amity, they're always happy under that Peace Serum and I wonder what it feels like." I silently agree.

"Uri, Candor or Dauntless?" Marlene snaps excitedly. He gulps before scratching his head. "Candor?"

"Who is the hottest girl in the room?" He turns red again, biting his lip anxiously. He grins evilly before wrapping an arm around my waist. "Tris," he nods at me, earning a scowl from Marlene. When they look away, I high-five him, earning a small wink from him.

After a round has passed with most of the answers being Candor, people are bored. I down my drink before turning to Peter. "Hit me up. I choose Dauntless." He opens his mouth before Uriah pulls him closer to whisper something into his ear. His grin becomes wider and I begin regretting my decision.

"I dare you...to kiss Melody for five seconds." My cheeks feel red as I lower my head in embarrassment. Lynn scoffs and Marlene tries to hide a giggle. "Not fair, Uriah helped you out!" I point at Uriah before throwing a pillow at him. Peter crosses his arms. "Actually you never know, he might have just asked me where the toilets are!" I roll my eyes. "We're in his house..." The boys laugh before Peter snorts, taking a sip out of his drink. "Accept the dare before I turn it into a make out session dare." I walk over towards a relaxed looking Melody.

"Are you okay with this?" I whisper timidly. She nods nonchalantly. "Dude, I just got dared to make out with the wall, I doubt this can be worse." I sigh out before leaning in and pressing my lips on hers. Unlike my kisses with Eric, I felt nothing whilst kissing Mel, except a strong urge to get my revenge.

 _One...two...three...four...five..._

I pull away, pursing my lips as I sit beside her, refusing to go back to Uriah. He pouts and I roll my eyes. By the end of round two, Uriah had to kiss Marlene, Peter had to kiss me and Lynn had to go knock on the neighbour's door to ask for spare underwear. Unluckily it was a man. By round three, we are a little tipsy.

"Uriah," Melody calls out, pointing her finger at the boy. "Candor or Dauntless child." He rolls his eyes, and confidently blurts out "Dauntless. I'm a man. I don't think you're all ready for how tough I really am." We exchange glances before I lean in to pretend like I'm whispering something in her ear. The plan was already made from before when we both went to the toilets.

"I dare you to go down to the Pit and propose to Four." His face goes white and he bites his lip before turning to glare at me. "You can't help her you idiot!" I raise my hands in the air innocently. "Um then take back mine and Mel's dare from a round ago." He rolls his eyes before drinking up the rest of the wine in his cup. Peter helps him up.

"Fine," he blurts out. "What could possibly go wrong?"

We make our way down to the still very full Pit, even though it's nearly past twelve. I stand at the entrance, scanning the whole room for our instructor. In the end, Melody's sharp eyes find him standing beside the corner of the bar, talking to Zeke- as Uriah recognizes. We clutter behind him as he carefully walks towards the two men. They immediately stop talking and turn their glares towards Uri, who looks nervous. _Honestly, I would be too before a proposal._ He goes down on one knee before looking up at Four and beginning his heartfelt proposal. Zeke slams his hand on the bar as he begins laughing whilst Four continues staring down at the boy. When Uriah hoists himself up and begins walking off; Four grabs him and pulls him back to him, whispering something in his ear. At that point Uriah yanks himself free from his touch and runs full speed back to us. I look back to see Four and Zeke smirking as they clink their shot glasses; probably still laughing at this unexpected event.

"What happened?" Marlene asks humorously as she pats his back gently. He shakes his head before looking up at us, tears in his eyes. "He was so serious...and when I tried leaving he pulled me back and just said 'when and where?'" We begin sniggering loudly, our excitement slurring with the sounds of the people dancing, raving and having a good time on the dance floor around us. We find a quiet spot on the other side of the Pit, and 'nowhere near Four' so we could continue our little game which grows more and more intense. I get dared to dance on the bar until Four pulls me off and scolds me like a disappointed mother; Marlene had to dance ridiculously in front of everyone and then fall; Melody had to go kiss a random stranger who tried chasing back after her for a good half hour until she finally lost him; Lynn had to climb up to the DJ, steal a microphone and sing karaoke until it was finally Peter's turn.

"I've got it!" I yell, staring at Peter cockily. He raises his eyebrows, underestimating my power. I wasn't drunk but I wasn't sober, so if one asked me why I dared him that, I would definitely say it's because of the alcohol.

"We've already had a proposal so that's not really new...and we've practically done pretty much all the fun things...so I dare you...to go profess your love to Eric..." I nod towards the other side of the bar, where Eric is sitting alone, sipping his drink whilst staring into the brooding oblivion. The girls high-five me and Uriah frowns hard because he's been through this and he knows how hard it is.

"Alright," Peter finally replies, sucking a breath through his teeth as he stands up to walk towards my leader. I feel a twinge of jealousy but I recover from that as quickly as it comes. _As if he'd fall for that._

I chuckle when I see Peter lean into the bar as he shifts closer to Eric. We watch as he clears his throat, finally getting Eric to notice him, his face cool and emotionless. At first Peter stutters, obviously extremely nervous under Eric's dominating glare. At one point, Peter reaches for Eric's hand, touching it slightly before wincing and pulling back when Eric slowly narrows his eyes. He then hangs his head lowly before trotting away back to us pouting; Eric rolling his eyes finally amused before turning back to his drink. It takes everything in me not to go and just be with him, as much as I'm having fun.

"I think I just got rejected," Peter whimpered. I squeeze his shoulder. "Don't worry, maybe he was just having a bad day. You can try tomorrow." He tickles my sides until I'm squealing for mercy. "Since you're so eager, why don't you get him to join us back to the apartment for another round of fun." I roll my eyes, my overly confident state taking over. He gasps when I begin walking away. I stop midway and curse when I see that Four has joined him. I turn back and see Uriah, Peter and Melody quietly forcing me to invite him too, in their own little ways. I sigh, shake my head and continue my way.

"Whoops," I giggle, grabbing onto the chair beside Four. They both turn towards me. Four exhales, rolling his eyes. "What do you want Tris? Here for another dance on the table?" Eric sends him a deadly glare but the instructor doesn't seem to notice. I chuckle, shaking my head as I point back at my little dauntless family. "As you already know, we were playing Candor or Dauntless, hence you getting a wonderful proposal and you getting a loving confession...my dare is to get you guys to come back to the apartment with us so we can play another round with our favorite Dauntless members," I giggle, elbowing the amused Four before turning to stare at Eric.

"Fine." He declares, not breaking eye contact with me. I widen my eyes. "Oh uh...I don't really know what to do now. Normally you reject the person and they walk back to the group."

"You can start by leading the way," Four counters, staring back at the group...or at someone. I nod sheepishly, gesturing them to follow me as I walk back with two important Dauntless men trailing behind me.

* * *

When we arrive back to the apartment it's about one thirty in the morning. I sit between Uriah and Peter, a little uncomfortable but it's too late to turn back now. Eric sits in the chair beside Four who is sat opposite me and next to Melody. They're really close in proximity but I don't think anyone notices except for me. She leans in towards the coffee table and takes a bottle of whiskey before gulping it straight out of the bottle. I feel Eric's stare before I shift my eyes to meet him. He is slightly pouting but I just shrug my shoulders and blow him a small kiss. He rolls his eyes before sitting up and cracking his knuckles.

"So are we gonna just stare at each other or what?" Four breaks the awkward silence; Melody of coarse agreeing with him. Uriah runs towards the fridge, slamming it shut before bringing back a new beer bottle. He sets it down in front of Four before snickering.

"Candor or Dauntless Four?" The latter rolls his eyes before choosing the obvious. "Perfect! I dare you to drink this whole beer in less than forty five seconds." I gasp quietly and I seem to be the only person who thinks that this is impossible. He scoffs, cracking the bottle open and taking a deep breath. Marlene brings out a stop watch from one of the drawers and sets it to forty five seconds. "Ready?" Four nods, not breaking the intense stare between himself and the boy beside me.

"Go!" He begins drinking, gulping quickly and before I can even blink twice, thirty seconds have gone by and the beer bottle is empty.

"Oh..." Uriah whispers whilst staring at the empty glass bottle being tossed at him. Lynn raises her hand up before speaking out. "Can I ask Melody?" Most of us just shrug but everyone's just keen on continuing the game. She smirks.

"I dare you to go make out with Eric while being sat on his lap." My jaw drops along with pretty much everyone else's in the room. Four clenches his jawline and right now I agree. Jealousy runs through me like static electricity as I see her huff, unimpressed, beginning to walk towards Eric. He seems tense too, but it's not like he can push her away. We had already told them that if they deny participation in the task they're 'pansycakes' and Uriah takes that insult very seriously. I inhale a shaky breath just as Uri grabs onto my hand, gripping onto it tightly as he stares at me. I refuse to look at Uriah though, my eyes trailing after Melody's stumbling, drunk form until it finally reaches to straddle Eric's lap. I feel tears prickle in my eyes and I curse myself for being so fucking vulnerable. She tilts his chin up before kissing him breathlessly, rocking against his lap because of the force of the kiss. I grit my teeth as I watch him capture her waist to secure her onto him, but I finally take another breath after seeing him incline his head away from her grasp. I caught his stare; his eyes as grey as the ash in a dying fire. I look away though, afraid that if I continue staring at him I would easily forgive him even though he can technically do whatever he wants. We continue the game; Eric daring Marlene to ask the hottest guy in the room out. Without a second thought she twists around towards Uriah and asks him out. Sometimes I believe that in their little thing going on, she's the guy because he goes red and shyly agrees. Melody then nods at me, smirking.

"Candor or Dauntless, Trissy?"

I open my mouth out to reply with my usual 'Dauntless' answer, but my head began swirling around, so I just pick the other. She chuckles evilly and I rub my head, knitting my eyebrows.

"Who would you honestly fuck out of the guys in here?" She winks, swirling her tongue around her lip piercing. I feel Uriah tap my back urgently and I once again ignore him. I shift in my seat and turn around to smile innocently at Peter. "Peter." I nod at him and jumping back, surprised, when he leans in to kiss my lips. I plaster on a fake smile, biting my tongue to hold back the urge to burst into tears.

 _It wasn't supposed to end like this!_

I glance at Eric, seeing the hurt in his eyes but he just nods towards the kitchen. I tell everyone to continue without me before walking over towards the kitchen, waiting to finally talk to him. Not long after, the familiar cologne overcomes my senses and I take a deep breath before turning around to face him as I lean against the sink.

"You deserved it," I retort, crossing my arms but denying giving up the little will I have to fight against him and look him in his eyes. He snorts, but doesn't say anything. He continues making his way through the dark kitchen towards me. My breath hitches in my throat as soon as he's in close proximity. He drags his fingers from the hem of my dress to my collarbone, but I still choose to look sideways. He huffs before grabbing my chin.

"Tris."

"Hm?"

"Look at me."

"No." He laughs his cold, ruthless laugh which always successfully sends shivers down my back for the third time today.

"Did that sound like I was giving you a choice though?" At this point, I angrily look at him, widening my eyes as I lose the game.

"I don't care. I said no." I pull myself out of his grasp and I wriggle away from his reach. He waits for a second before grabbing my wrist and flinging me back into him. I glare up at him angrily, involuntarily softening up as soon as I see his agitated expression. He leans forward, resting his forehead on the side of my head, where it is braided.

"Wait till we get home," he rumbles lowly before placing his lips on my neck and biting down hard. I hiss and jerk away, narrowing my eyes at his smirk. "Who said I'm going back with you, after you kissed..."

"Tris," he snaps, "Again, I don't think I made it sound like I was giving you a choice. Besides, it's not like I was enjoying it..."

"You damn right looked like you were," I counter, feeling my blood boil because of his stupid, amused gaze. "Care to tell me what's so funny Eric?"

"You're so cute when you're jealous." My cheeks begin heating up but I continue denying it. He raises his pierced eyebrow. "Sure you weren't, otherwise you wouldn't have reacted like this." I make a face.

"Fine then since you're allowed to go around kissing girls I'm allowed to kiss Peter." He tenses up. Now it's my turn to look amused. "Seems fair?" I begin walking back to the living room only to be grabbed by the waist and placed onto the counter island by Eric. He wraps his arms around me tightly, burying his face in my neck. I exhale, rolling my eyes as I run my fingers through his hair, tucking on it as I make him look up at me. Ignoring the dark, moving figure in the hallway coming towards us, I snake my arm around his neck as I move in to kiss him. It lasts for a moment, but in that moment I felt so many different things within me. I feel him push away, completely backing up. He stares at the entrance angrily and I follow his glower, gasping at the figure standing there, wide-eyed.

 _Melody._

I look back at him death-glaring me and I furiously hop off the counter. "Don't look at me like that Eric. You started it." He scoffs. "Of coarse Tris, fucking blame me all the goddamn time. Do you realize what you could have done?"

"Um guys..." Melody tries but we continue scowling at each other.

"Oh sorry. And what could I have done? Oh man, people are going to find out that Eric the ruthless Dauntless leader has feelings and knows how to kiss. Kill me now!" I raise my voice, narrowing my eyes at him. He opens his mouth to shout at me but Mel cuts him off.

"Eric! I'm not going to tell anyone. I swear to Dauntless. It's not Tris' fault that I walked in at the wrong time. I'm sorry," she mumbles. He stares her down before sighing and looking back at me. I'm still glaring at him even though he's just staring.

"I'll find you later Eric," I say. He nods stiffly before turning back to pass Melody. "You better not tell anyone," he mutters, brushing past her. As soon as he's gone, I lean down until I'm on the floor. She slips down beside me, resting her head on my shoulder. We sit in the dark silently.

"I was going to tell you in the right time," I whisper, trembling and guiltily. She shakes her head. "Dude, I get it. I know how you're feeling. Here." She lights a cigarette, inhaling and exhaling the smoke before passing the thing to me. I shake my head, but give in and try it for myself. The smoke passes through my throat until it hits my lungs. The painful, itching sensation makes me cough uncontrollably but I do it again and again until I'm lightheaded. She takes it back smirking. "Listen, Four and I are in a secret relationship. I'm telling you because I trust you and I want you to know that you're not alone in this fucked up little situation. It's even worse for me because of what happened to Will…" Her voice is shaky and she looks away. I sit there quietly, giving her some time to settle down.

"I'm alright," she mumbles quietly, more to herself than me.

"He's so difficult," I complain, holding my head in my hands as my elbows rest on my knees. She huddles closer to me, the scent of cigarettes, vodka and regret laced around her.

"You'll manage Trissy. Four isn't a saint either. But I love him and I'll stand beside him no matter what. Even if the world is tearing apart around us and I can't stand on my feet, I'll get up and see if he's okay. Would you do that to Eric?" I don't even hesitate.

"It kinda sucks that it feels like I sold my soul to the Devil. But yeah, I'd do anything for him." My stomach turns as soon as I say it out loud. It is as if I am speaking a foreign language, a language and culture I am yet to discover and overcome. She chuckles quietly, opening her mouth to probably conclude all of my feelings into three simple words. Three words that can either break me or help me.

"But what do I do now?" I continue, a tear falling down my cheek. She smiles, wiping it away. "I say you get that tight little dress back to his apartment and claim him yours." I twitch away from her, horrified at the mere thought. She snickers.

"Not necessarily in that way you dummy! Kiss him senseless and prove to him how much he really means to you. Let him feel your body. You don't need to be afraid. I see the way he just looks at you. Honestly, I was going to pull you into a corner and ask you if anything's up just because of the amount of glances you guys have shared in this past few hours…Just go." She kisses my cheek before pushing my shoulder. "Go and tell me all about it tomorrow." I nod excitedly before standing up and running out of the apartment. I almost forget that everyone else are unaware of what had just happened so I tell them I'm feeling sick and I'm going to call it a night. They all say goodnight and Uriah winks at me before I shut the door behind me.

* * *

Five minutes later and I am knocking on Apartment 104 on the leadership floor. After the second knock, Eric opens the door in his black boxers and parted lips. I look him down, biting my lip before trotting in and slamming the door. He smirks, leaning against the wall as he's waiting for me to pull the shoes off. I fiddle around with the dress before looking up innocently. "Aren't you going to help me?" Immediately, his eyes darken; lust clouding that beautiful grey color I can drown in; as he shoves me against the opposite wall, capturing my lips with his. I put my legs around his waist, feeling the fabric of the dress crawl up to my hips. He slams me against the wall once more, picking me up until I'm completely off the ground. I gasp when I hear the dress quickly get shredded off my body until it's a pile of cloth on the ground. He continues kissing my neck while I drag my fingers up and down his back.

"Can we go somewhere more comfortable. And remember, slow," I warn him and he rolls his eyes, kissing me passionately. "I know Tris. I wasn't planning on doing anything more today. But I'll see what else I can do." I giggle as he throws me over his shoulder, practically running towards the bedroom. He hauls me onto the soft duvet and only that's when I realize that I'm in Eric's bed in my matching purple underwear…only. His eyes skim over me, immediately making me self-conscious until I see him grinning and muttering something to himself. He then crawls over on top of me as he begins to graze down my neck, sucking and biting slightly before soothing the pain with his tongue. His kisses travel down my collarbone, my chest, my stomach, my abdomen and then to the top of my underwear. As he goes lower, his hand cups my bra and just rests there, occasionally squeezing lightly. My breathing becomes faster as his kisses and tongue dust down my stomach before trailing back up the same way until they're on my lips. He is rough and I'm losing it. I mewl, feeling him chuckle into the kiss. With his help, I manage to straddle him. He cocks his head slightly, smirking up at me before latching onto both sides of my waist.

"Jeez Tris, your waist is fucking tiny," he moans, squeezing it tighter and tighter, making me squirm. I hold onto his wrists, snatching them away from the curve of my waist as I just hold onto them, looking down to inspect my skin. I gasp when I see light patches of purple and blue handprints on either side of my stomach.

"Idiot, don't you think I have enough bruises? Especially from today. Did you forget already?" I snort, letting my fingers graze over the hurt skin. He smirks. "Yeah, I haven't forgotten about today, but I like it when I mark you here." He rubs my wrists. "Here." He fingers the bruises on my waist. "And here." A groan escapes from his mouth as his fingers trace up to my collarbone and my neck. When they pass a specific spot it begins stinging, making me hiss slightly and then making me glare at him.

"You did not." He smiles innocently and the only way I can rub it off his arrogant face is to lean down and kiss him. He deepens the kiss, letting his hands brush down my back until they reach my ass. Eric then attempts to turn us over again so that he's on top but I refuse.

"Maybe you should try being a little more gentle." He pulls an adorably disgusted face. "Maybe not." I snort, pushing him back down into the covers before latching onto his neck. He grunts softly in surprise, inclining his head to the side so he can give me more access. But that wasn't the plan.

"Tris," he hisses as I bite onto a specific spot. _Hopefully that'll teach him a lesson._ He moans and I intensify his pleasure by grinding my hips against his. "Tris," Eric's voice is firmer as he snakes an arm around my waist before turning us around unexpectedly. I whimper sadly but snicker evilly as soon as I see the _really_ noticeable love bite I have managed to give him. I look down to see the growing tent in his boxers and immediately my embarrassment colors my cheeks a deep deep pink. I hide my face in my palm until Eric snatches it by my wrist. "Told you before and I'm telling you again. It's natural, I can't help it. Don't start something you aren't ready for today Tris." I nod, disappointed. He kisses me passionately before rolling off me to go inspect himself in the mirror. I hear a bark of laughter and then see his cocky form walk back to the bed as he crosses his arms and smirks down at me. I send him a toothy grin before taking his hand and entering the bathroom. I widen my eyes as I stare at our reflection. My bra strap was falling and I have bruises on my waist and the large one on my neck. I then look towards the tall man in black boxers beside me. I love the way he clutches onto my waist now, as if he's afraid that I'm going to run out of his apartment any second now. I bite my lip as I gaze at his muscly form and then at how perfect his hickey was. _It was my mark and my mark is on him._ And his messy hair- probably my favorite thing about him.

"See something you like?" He sneers arrogantly. I lean into him, shrugging my shoulders; offending him mockingly. I turn back to the mirror.

"Look Eric we have matching love bites now." I probably sound like a child, but so what? I'm excited. He smiles dearly, squeezing me. I yawn and look up at him dreamily.

"Eric?" I whisper.

"Yes?" He plays along.

"Can you pick me up and let me cuddle you to sleep?" He begins grinning ear to ear before picking me up bridal style and walking me towards the bedroom. After securely tucking me in, he walks around to his side and pulls the cover over him. I tangle my legs over him as he puts his arm under my head, scooting me closer.

"Trissy?" The butterflies flutter in my stomach. _Only he can call me that without me getting frustrated._

"Yeah?" I look up at him staring at the ceiling. He looks down, meeting my eyes, surprising me when I see that raw vulnerability back in them.

"Don't go," he mumbles. I shake my head and laugh, sleeping crawling into me.

"I wasn't even planning on doing anything stupid like that." He buries his face in my hair and I can feel him grinning again. "Good," he whispers back before falling silent. I kiss his neck, cherishing his musky scent. He knows I wouldn't leave right now, but I doubt that he was pleading about that.

* * *

 **A/N**

 **Hey you! I hope you seriously enjoyed the longest, most emotional and most action-packed chapter up to this point. I feel awful for not being able to just pop by and let you guys know that I'm working on the chapters. I also can't reply to the guests who have been reviewing but a big THANK YOU goes out to anyone who has taken time to just write a small comment! I hope I haven't disappointed and I hope the wait was worth it. X**

 **Fair warning: these two weeks or so there's a very small chance that I'll be posting chapters here. I have exams and all that jazz. However, that does not mean that I won't be trying to write and continue on with the story ;)**

 **Please Favorite/Follow and Review for more!**

 **Till next time,**

 **Niki X**


	26. Nightmares and Drunk Haircuts

_The room is dark, cold and empty._ M _y heart is pounding, mind empty. It's as if a hypodermic of adrenaline has been emptied into my carotid. I strain into the utter darkness, breathing rate beginning to steady as the feeling of the heavy, rust-covered chains snake around my wrists, pulling them down and together. I feel blood trickle down my face from an unknown wound. I look down slowly, gasping; my pupils widening as I realize that I've got a deep laceration in my side. A bullet wound? It was a mess, as if I'd been hit with two different kinds of weapon at once. The hole oozes thick blood, sticking my tank top to my stomach. I grit my teeth, unable to stop them from clattering together as I try and prevent myself from crying. Luckily, all that escapes from my mouth is a soft whimper. I struggle breathing in and out, the fear becoming one with my blood._

 _"Help," I bleated quietly, my voice cracking. I hiss when the door in front of me flings open and the sudden ball of light from the outside hits me. I turn my head to the side, groaning in pain because my head feels heavy and I feel like I can pass out any second now. Loud footsteps step forward slowly towards me. Squinting my eyes, I cast my glance at the figure in front of me. My heart leaps to my throat as the urge of fighting against the bonds._

 _"Eric..." I would have continued if the stinging sensation of him slapping me across the cheek didn't whip my head painfully to the side as I gasp in surprise. I spit the blood filling my mouth before turning back to stare at him, craning my neck painfully. The paralyzing hurt spread through my body like icy, liquid metal. My legs twitch; my throat closes in threat of screaming in agony, and my jaw becomes tight. Fire in the form of water stings my eyes, threatening their attack. I crunch my teeth over my lip harder than I ever have. Salty blood fills my mouth once again. Reality tries to tap its way into my marching brain's rhythm. I'm dying. I am helpless. That is all._

 _"Thought you could hide it from me all your life you little bitch?" He spits out, as I snap my stare back to his face. I wince at his exterior demeanor. I have never seen him so cold, so distant, so unfamiliar. Not even the day I jumped into the net. The Eric in front of me is a stranger I did not want to know._

 _"W...hat?" I cough out, earning another threatening glower from him. He leans closer and grabs my throat as he violently begins shaking me._

 _"Divergent," he remarks, disgust written all over his face. I feel myself go blue, colors dancing in my eyesight. Only that's when he lets go, the force of his actions making my chair rock until I land on the floor, slamming my head on the frigid concrete._

 _"Eric p...lease." My tears mix with the blood on the floor. My wheezing for air presses against the gunshot wound, forcing more blood to leak around me, pooling me in my own fluid. I let out a desperate sob, quickly biting my quivering lip when he tells me to shut up._

 _"I should have never trusted you...all along you've just been playing around trying to keep yourself concealed from us. You did a bad job at hiding it Stiff. What an unfortunate shame," he chuckles darkly. He pulls out a sharp blade from the strap locked around his upper thigh; twirling it gracefully around his fingers. He walks towards my fallen form, probing my laceration with the end of the knife. I hiss, gripping my tongue forcibly with my teeth._

 _"The shit I'm gonna do to you know...we'll see how much differently the Divergent can tolerate pain." His voice is low. I shut my eyes, pressing my forehead against the floor, waiting from the pain to wash over me._

 _I wait and wait._

* * *

I snap my eyes open faster than a knife thrown by Four. Drowsiness get's folks dead, fast. Only the paranoia survives. I feel someone grip my shoulder, forcing me to turn and attempt to punch them. Only he is faster...and he isn't an attacker. Eric catches my wrist mid-air, his eyes narrowed and sleepy. I let go of the force in my fist, wriggling my wrist out of his clutch so that I can entwine our fingers together, letting our hands fall back to the bed. I look around cautiously, pinching my thigh just in case I'm not in another nightmare. _I am still in Eric's bedroom, wearing the shirt that he had given me some time during the night because he refuses to turn the heating on._ When the prickle of pain concludes that reality is around me, I sigh in relief loudly before slumping back into my pillow. Eric moves to lay on his side facing me, propping his head on his hand. I turn to look at him, my chest still heaving from the intensity of the night terror. He stares at me curiously, silently waiting for me to talk to him about it.

"I had a nightmare that you kidnapped me and you were torturing me in horrible ways..." I stop there, afraid to go any further. He stiffens, his grip on my hand becoming stronger and tighter. I wince which gets him to soften his touch. He slowly brings my hand to his lips, kissing the top of it before I pull away slightly so I can run a hand through his hair and his face.

"Do you think it means something? Normally dreams like this can mean that the person..."

"Eric," I frown, knowing that he believes the worst out of the situation. "I know you don't want to hurt me. It was just a dream. If I felt like you would I would've ran straight out of here before I could even fully wake up," I retort seriously, creeping up closer to him. He lays back as I rest my head on his chest, listening to how quick his heart is beating.

"Please- believe me," I plead quietly, looking up at him staring at the ceiling. His sighs, burying his nose in my hair, squeezing his eyes shut.

"Trust me when I tell you I do." I smile at him, kissing his lips sweetly.

"I trust you." We stare at each other for a moment before he tilts my chin and kisses my neck. His tongue tickles my sweet spot, making me giggle as I jerk away and cup my hand and holding it over his mouth. Simultaneously, I glance to see what time it is.

 _8:45 am_

By the time I'm back to focusing on him, I feel him brush his tongue against my palm until I groan in disgust, taking my hand away and rubbing it on my thigh. He smirks cockily, making me roll my eyes.

"Okay so," I begin, trailing my fingers over his chest, to his neck and then his cheek and sharp jawline. "It's nine. We can either go back to sleep...or..." I pause for a more dramatic effect, which appears to be working when I see him raise his pierced eyebrow.

"Don't make me force the words out of you...or?" I bring his face closer to mine, reaching for his hair. "Or you can entertain me." I smile. He frowns mockingly.

"Why do I have to do all the work? What do I get in return?" I shake my head, brushing my lips over his ear.

"Fine then we're both going to entertain each other." I pull back, watching how his smirk grows wider and wider as he contemplates the offer.

"You're such a tease it's unbelievable." He rolls his eyes. I laugh.

"I can't be a Stiff all my life. It's either a tease or a little freak afraid of the word kiss." He pauses before smirking evilly.

"I can have you both ways." I gasp but before I can respond with another sarcastic retort his lips are on mine. I deepen the kiss; smirking into it when I feel his tongue brush over my bottom lip, begging for entrance which I am so happily always willing to grant him. His hands linger under the shirt until they rest on my hips as he helps me straddle him just like yesterday evening. I press a finger under his chin, refusing to break the kiss as I begin moving up with him following my suit, his cold lips still planted onto mine. I break apart, breathless as I put my arms around him. I stare at him affectionately; wishing that I wasn't Divergent and that he wasn't a leader hunting us. And then something within me falls asleep. Just like that; I lose my connection with my Abnegation upbringing and the fear of a quickening pace. _Something tells me that Eric will be extremely happy to hear that._

"I have a small idea." My voice is surprisingly soft and I don't stammer out the words or turn red at my unholy thoughts. His intimidating stare compels me to continue. I move forward into him; biting his bottom lip as my hand travels down his chest. He relaxes under my touch, sighing blissfully until his breath hitches in his throat as soon as my fingers begin grazing over the waistband of his boxers. He sends me a warning look.

"I can't be a Stiff all my life," I repeat quietly, side-smiling when I look at the way he bites the inside of his cheek as a way to prevent a groan. I seize his lips with mine, carefully reaching down to palm his length through his boxers. He stifles a moan, my name escaping from his mouth like a prayer. My mind is going crazy, my fingers are beginning to tremble as I begin to comprehend what the hell I am doing. Not only to me but to him. He stares at me as I rest my hand over his covered length, applying enough pressure to make him groan and clench his teeth.

"Stop...teasing...me," he purrs, pouting. He continues joking around through rapid breaths and silky moans. His head rolls back, eyes glued shut as I provoke him on and on. When I see that he's turned on enough, I remove my hand and grin wickedly.

"I should really take a shower," I retort, beginning to make my way to the bathroom before he grabs me back and throws me under him. _His moves are always so calculated. It's so...strange._

"Well well," he replies gruffly; cheeks a little pink from the previous experience and his brows furrowed as he holds my wrists together over my head. I huff, laughing at him and immediately regretting it when I meet his orbs. He kisses the center of my chest before casually descending down my body.

"We'll see about who gets to make the rules here, little girl." I whimper when he lowers his lips, brushing them over the fabric of my _own_ underwear, against my sensitive area. I reach down and attempt grab his bicep, barely reaching his shoulder as he squeezes my thighs tightly, making me squirm under his painfully slow movements. I keep my mouth closed, otherwise I would give him the pleasure of knowing how much his little touches actually mean and do to me. His kisses become more intense and I have to shut my eyes and bite my lip to prevent the moan threatening to erupt within me. I repeat his name, hearing him growl slightly as he ignores my pleads to stop teasing back. _Although I am guilty myself; I don't regret throwing the dice first._ He crawls on top of me, lips meeting mine as he kisses me deeply; tongue trailing over my jawline, his fingers brushing over the area his lips were just a second ago. I feel myself lose control of my body. And then a second later; the feeling is gone. I open my eyes angrily panting through gritted teeth. He has moved away; arms folded over his broad chest as he plasters on a shit eating smirk. I roll my eyes, afraid that if I try to open my mouth and retort something sarcastic about a dirty trick; I will find myself begging for him to do it again. He beckons me to come closer to him with a crooked finger; I hesitate before I begin crawling over towards him. He wraps an arm around me and with the other one he reaches out and brushes a strand of hair from my face with his calloused fingers. Somehow I find pleasure in his rough yet gentle little touches. He then leans down until his lips are hovering over my ear; kissing the metal ripping through the cartilage beautifully.

"You think that you're the only one able to tease here?" He questions, his deep voice lowering by a couple of octaves. I gulp, moving in to latch my lips over his hickey- which is visible through the gaps and bars of the intricate Leadership tattoo design- until he hisses.

"I hope that's a no," he continues. I stick my tongue out at him and he quickly attempts to bite me; but I jerk back too quickly. I turn to meet his eyes and send him a sympathetic smile which completely juxtaposes the words resting on my tongue. _But I am Dauntless after all and any affection is welcomed positively. This is my faction now so I should stop following the rules of the faction of my origin._

"I'm going to go shower, do you want to join me?" His mouth drops as I wordlessly stand up, pick up a spare shirt from Eric's drawer to wear after and trot on over towards the bathroom. Not long after walking into the bathroom, I hear him scramble in, his hands immediately finding my waist. I hiss when he squeezes my marks and he roughly twists me around, kissing my collar-bone as he grabs my hair. I stand on my tiptoes to help him out as much as possible; given the fact that height is a little bit of an issue here. _(I'm still not complaining though!)_ Our lips connect once again and I begin tucking on the hem of the fabric covering me. He helps me out, our kiss still alive until the very last moment when the shirt has to go over my head. When I am left in my underwear again, I pull away quickly, putting my hands on my hips as I chuckle at his confused stare.

"Thanks for the help babe, you can go wait for me in the bedroom or wherever you like, just not here. I've unfortunately changed my mind," I wink as I usher him out. He glares at me, which I reply to with a kiss blown through the air. He tosses his eyes towards the ceiling before sulkily walking away. I call after him and he turns around a little too hyped.

"Oh no, I just wanted to answer your question. Yes, I think I'm the only one able to _truly_ tease here," I squeal when I see him pace back towards me, and I lock the door just in time for him to try the handle.

"You're seriously gonna be the death of me..." I hear him mutter as he walks away, defeated. My heart is swelling. Can this morning be any more perfect? For a second I forget about the nightmare and just focus on the man beyond the door as I begin rinsing myself with hot water. I rub my sensitive areas where Eric had bruised- my neck, wrists and my purple stomach. I laugh to myself at how cute he can be when he wants to be. And his dominating character, both with my alone and in public nurtures the growth of a hidden, darker feeling within me. A feeling I can possibly drown in when the time comes. I dry myself and brush my teeth with the toothbrush he had gifted me with every single time I sleep over. As I dress up back into Eric's over-sized shirt, my mind is buzzing with different ideas and things I could write up on the misted mirror. It has become our secret language to be leaving each other little messages for the other one to read. I use it as a way to compliment him and say things I wouldn't usually say to his face just yet. He just uses it to tease me, which I'm alright with because it always cracks a smile on my face. I hold up my index finger and begin trailing the message:

'You snore softly in your sleep...cute _;)'._

My cheeks flush and I can hear my father scowl at me for my inappropriate behavior. It's not like I would say it to his face and risk seeing his reaction. _Whatever though; he was one to call sarcasm 'inappropriate' so I can't and won't ever follow his words._

I walk out of the bathroom and I am immediately greeted with the mouth-watering aroma of bacon. I quietly walk towards the kitchen to see him hover over a two pans; the frying pan with the meat and another pan with scrambled eggs. He doesn't seem to take notice of my presence because he continues humming to himself. I walk over and wrap my arms around his waist tightly. He jumps slightly, dropping the utensil he was using to push around the bacon. I laugh, kissing his bare back before pulling away and propping myself onto the island counter. I watch him work on the breakfast, how his ripple at any slight movement and I blush at his sideways glances at me.

"You're adorable, you know that right?" He breaks the comfortable silence flippantly. I raise my eyebrows, lowering my head so that my hair can conceal my cheeks.

"And why is that Eric?" He chuckles, moving over to grab two plates from the cupboard beside me. His face is a few inches from mine and I gaze into his soft eyes. He smirks, planting a kiss on my nose before turning away.

"Because, whenever I glance at you... even for a second your cheeks go bright red. It's hot," he looks back at me. I gasp, my face feeling hotter than ever. He laughs, dropping the plates on the counter before pacing towards me. "Your Abnegation is showing," he murmurs, cupping my face with his palms and lifting my head up. I attempt to hide once more with my own palms but he doesn't allow it. He smirks, blowing air on my face to soothe the possible burns left from my extremely mortifying blush. I pull him into a deep kiss, melting under his touch when he wraps his hands around me, pulling me closer.

"I love this morning," I think out loud, only realizing that I've said it when the corners of his mouth pull to reveal his rare, white, toothy grin.

"I do too." I move in to kiss him once more, but he picks me up bridal-style and walks over to the table before plopping me in a chair. He then kisses the top of my head. "Nope. First we eat and then we have all the time in the world to kill off. Stage two starts tomorrow though, don't forget." There is a knock on the door which makes us both jump and look at each other. I motion my head towards the bedroom and he approves of my plan. I jog quickly just as he hides one of the plates. I hear him stomp towards the door, answering it in his cold, emotionless voice.

"What...oh...Sara? What do you want?" My eyes widen at the sound of her name. _What's she doing here?_ He's talked to me about her and their relationship. How she had feelings for him when he broke it off. But that was years ago...

"Eric." Her voice is sickly sweet and it makes my stomach turn. By the sound of her footsteps I can hear her small heels click towards the kitchen, following a slam of the front door.

"What the hell do you want?" He repeats and judging by his tone, it is laced with a lot of irritation. She chuckles, completely ignoring his question.

"That's a lot of food for one person, were you expecting anyone? Did I interr..."

"I am a hungry man, now don't make me ask again."

"Look...there's talk about how some of this year's initiates are doing better than they're expected to." I wince, because I feel like her statement is indirectly directed towards me.

"What's that supposed to mean?" There is a pause and only then I realize that I've been holding my breath.

"I mean...that there's suspicions. Divergent." My blood goes cold and I shiver. He doesn't react. In fact, his voice appears colder than ever.

"That's nothing new. However, I don't understand how that is any of your concern. As a matter of fact, I'm surprised as to how the fuck you even know about this shit?" As every second passes, he grows angrier and angrier.

"I have my reasons," she replies coolly. "All you need to know is that I am on your side and I am helping you out with the job that _you're_ supposed to be doing."

"I don't _need_ help Sara."

"It's only a matter of time for the Divergent to reveal themselves, and judging by your pace, we'll catch them later than expected, and you know how impatient _she_ is, Eric."

 _She._

 _Who is she?_

" _Jeanine_ can wait. I have other things on my mind right now," he snarls and my stomach turns. Jeanine? What's she doing in the equation?

"The clock is ticking Eric. I am here to help you out. Max instructed me to pick out certain initiates and to personally look over them. People...who are a surprisingly still in Dauntless, like what's-her-face, Tris?" I frown, crossing my arms across my chest, heavily offended.

"Why her?" Eric's voice is higher and growing lethal but listening to her responses, she appears unaffected.

"Because she's from Abnegation. The last time someone defected from..."

"Yeah yeah yeah," he wavers her off irritably. "That doesn't matter. Max told me about your little suggestion with getting her to work for you in the Infirmary...I'm telling you from now, you're wasting your time. I follow Jeanine's orders and not yours, therefore do not involve me in your little pathetic conspiracy which I foresee as ineffective from the moment I heard about it."

"Very well. But it's going to be bad on you if we find something suspicious. Her aptitude test was manually alter..."

"Okay!" He yells, causing me to jump- and I am not even in the same room as him. There is an awkward silence until Sara gasps wildly.

"Your neck!? What's that under the tatt...wait..." Realization must have crept up on her and for a moment I feel brave enough to peak through the small between the door and the frame. I see him grab her wrist painfully and yank her towards the exit of his apartment.

"Eric..."

A slam reverberates through the entire house. I run towards the bed and make myself busy- _not like I just spent the last five minutes glued to the door._ Just in time, the door swings open and I turn to face the fuming leader.

"I didn't hear anything," I blurt out as he widens his eyes, his lips parting slightly. He relaxes, before shaking his head as he strides towards me.

"Leadership stuff, nothing important anyway," he replies too quickly and I choose to hold my tongue. _If he wanted to share something with me, he would. Eric is normally a guy who keeps things to himself until the right moment, therefore I can't be mad when he chose to partly lie to me._

"Breakfast?" I whisper, raising my eyebrows. He chuckles stiffly before turning to his heels.

"Rude," I mutter but before he can turn around I fling myself onto his back. He steadies me by grasping my thighs and propping me up. I swing my arms around his neck, gently biting on the gauge going through his earlobe, pleased when he shivers just the tiniest bit. He props me back in my seat before going to heat up the cold food. After getting everything ready and ignoring every single attempt to try and help him out, he settles down in the seat opposite me. We eat in the same comfortable silence I grew to love so much in our private moments. I choose to spend this time wisely, glancing at him ever so often and flushing slightly when I catch him return the gesture. Every now and then he will open his mouth and say something cocky, which would end with me kicking him under the table but then giggling when he begins nudging me back, a smug smirk on his face.

After breakfast and another quarrel about who's going to clean up, he retreats to the shower and I wash the dishes victoriously. After some time, the same childish chuckle erupts from his direction, and I can only assume what made him laugh. Drying my hands with the dark cloth, taking my time to fully take in my surroundings, which I am usually too concentrated on someone else than to acknowledge. The floor is a dark, glistening tile which matches the colors of the walls in most of the rooms and the cabinets. I slide my fingers over the too-clean marble counter before resting my eyes on the large window which emanated the sun's good morning rays which fully stretch over Chicago; which was all visible from his window-view.

 _In Dauntless, the living area is surprisingly calculated. The leadership floor is on the top of the building and the numbers go from apartment 101 until the last floor which is just by the Pit. The higher your status is here, the smaller your apartment number is and the higher you will be from the noise and commotion._

* * *

"So what do you wanna do now?" I ask while propping my legs over his, our limbs tangled over each other on the sofa. _He had crept up from behind me and once again trapped me between the counter and him. He then began questioning me about his snoring; which all began with him being all nervous (in his own way obviously) but then of coarse, the Eric I know and adore comes around and soon after he cheekily asks me if it turns me on._ He sighs, opening up his tablet and tapping away before swearing and checking the time.

"Alright, well in half an hour I need to meet Max...so that'll mean that I'm probably going to be back around noon. Here," he pulls out a key-card from his pocket before handing it to me. I take it, cautiously eyeing it.

"It doesn't bite, it's just a..." he pauses, hesitating for a brief moment,"... Spare key-card to my apartment. You can stay here as long as you like...whenever you like." I lean into his touch, humming softly as he begins trailing down my back.

"Thank you," I murmur, reaching up to kiss his throat. I brush my nose on the hickey and he hisses in return.

"Does it hurt that bad?" I sound exasperated, but it's laced with mockery. He frowns, actually contemplating my question, which makes me laugh.

"Nah, I just want to piss you off."

I roll my eyes before he kisses me roughly, fingers finding my hair. I break apart, breathing heavily.

"Eric?"

"Tris."

"So what are we going to do with this?" I lightly brush my fingers over my blemishes. He cocks his head idly, jutting my chin out to have a look at them. He begins clicking his tongue, gradually leaning closer.

"Oh look, they're fading away. Better fix that up." I widen my eyes, shrieking his name out as he steadies me under him, his lips lingering over the actually very, very, very purple marks on my neck. I squirm, trying my best to push him off as quickly as possible before he drills a hole through my neck! He leans back, eyeing his masterpiece carefully, nodding and smirking at himself. I huff, slightly irritated but if he had to ask whether I wanted him to completely stop what he was doing, I would answer in the negative.

* * *

Drying my face with the maroon, bathroom towel; I roll my eyes at my beaten appearance. Although I have indirectly avoided full gazes over my body, I have these moments where my stare does judgmentally lower over my appearance. After messing around for a bit more with Eric; he got up and kissed me sweetly before retreating out of the apartment- which feels so empty without him around me. Not long after while I was still scrunched up in the comfortable position of a ball on the couch- the door suddenly unlocks which sends me down to the floor in shock. Eric walked over to me, hauling me up before handing me a pair of leggings (my size) and a shirt. I built up the courage to ask him if I could just walk around in his shirt and he seemed cautious at first before smirking at my pouting lips. He left and I fixed the duvet on the bed, as well as patting the pillows on the sofa before absorbing myself in one of the many books neatly stacked and resting on his bookshelf. From what I have skimmed through, he's really into non-fiction. _History, science, psychology_... He loves books. And it is so strange seeing him indulge in normal every-day activities, like brushing his teeth or yawning. He is extremely intelligent to the point where I'm actually questioning whether he got Dauntless only for his aptitude results.

I find myself back in the bedroom, unable to part from this sweet haven. It is as if there was a barricade between us and everything else concerning our lives. I sit on his side of the bed and bring his pillow to my chest, clutching it tightly as I memorize his scent. Not long after, I lock the front door hurriedly before scattering away from the apartments before anyone sees me. Tucking the key card safely in my bra, I jog down the steep steps that I swear will do me no good when the slippery and snowy weather rolls around. I pass the Infirmary and just before I make the turn to the Cafeteria, I hear Sara's sweet voice calling from behind.

I huff and brace myself before turning back to meet her pacing demeanor towards me.

"Sara," I greet her cordially, tucking my hair out of the messy bun to conceal my neck. I then proceed to shove my hands in my jacket pockets, deep enough so that the little kisses Eric had blessed me with are hidden. She eyes me intensely before shaking her head slightly.

"Hello Tris, it's good to see you outside of the Infirmary." I grunt slightly, pursing my lips together and knitting my eyebrows.

She steps up closer. "I understood that you have the day off today...and you don't seem too hungover...perhaps you could join me back to the Infirmary for a couple of hours? To begin the training?" I suck in a breath between my teeth as I bite at the inside of my cheek nervously. Trick question; she knows I am in no position of denying her mysterious offer.

"Sure. Could I at least pass by the Cafeteria to grab something to eat? I skipped breakfast..."

She wavers me off with the flick of her wrist. "Don't worry. Go eat something. I'll be waiting." For a split of a second I see her eyes narrow at me before she turns to her heel and walks off. Dislike gushes through me.

 _Something really is wrong._

* * *

Grabbing an unpleasant-looking salad and a bottle of orange juice, I make my way to my table where I see Melody hunched over it- holding her head in her hands as she continuously groans. When my tray slams onto the table surface it makes an unnecessarily loud noise which causes her to flinch and look up at me. Immediately, her dead eyes brighten and an excited sparkle wakes up.

"How'd it go? Don't spare any details." She finally lifts her gaze up to match my level and I look around timidly before lifting up my dark curtain of hair. She gasps animatedly, reaching up to prod it, as if I'd used make up to create it. She then grabs my wrist and smirks.

"So he likes it rough? I'm not surprised to be honest...you know I don't see Eric as the type of guy who would just hold your hand..." I shush her loudly making her chuckle at my ashen face. She whispers lowly, "so did you do anything?" I smile at the memory...and the feeling of his hands and lips on my body. I squirm before averting my gaze.

"Just some teasing here and there...nothing much." She gasps again, nodding, like a proud Erudite mother of a child who had just told her that she aced her biology test.

"My my, I'm glad you listened to my advice yesterday...although I was drunk. For the future, just remember that drunk Melody is a bad Melody. But not yesterday."

I chew slowly as I listen to her ramble about what I had missed after my abrupt departure. Which was nothing really. Uriah and Marlene ended up making out, Lynn passed out and Four and Melody snuck out and into his apartment. However what happened in there was far more advanced than where we are with Eric.

"...And yeah so that's about it. He's so loving it's unbelievable." She rolls her eyes as I look around once more, hopeful that I might catch my marked leader and not go back to the stupid Infirmary.

"...Earth to Trisss." I snap back, blinking a few times as Melody waves her hand in front of me. I apologize and she shrugs.

"Oh by the way, what happened to the dress? And I see that your shirt size has grown," she smirks, raising her eyebrows as she continues pestering me. My stomach drops when I remember where the dress is...or where the fabric of what's left of the dress is.

"Oh...uh..." I stutter, hoping that she can pick up where I'm going at. She fiddles around with her tongue piercing as she waits for me to continue impatiently.

"He ripped it," I blurt out, guilty that I totally forgot in the first place. Her eyes widen and her mouth drops. Lowering my head, I wait to be sworn at or scolded, but none of this is thrown my way. I look up to see her smirking proudly, reaching over the table to squeeze my shoulder.

"It's cool, it was just a dress anyways. I'm just happy that she died for a good cause. How did it happen? Details!" She whines and I nervously give them to her. "...Wait though didn't you say it was a lucky dress of some sort. Wasn't it something special to you. Marlene?" She laughs lightly, rubbing her head at the sudden movement.

"Well I mean look; it was a pretty hot dress and all; and we did end up lucky when we wore it ourselves, but it never really had a cause. We just decided to exaggerate so that could increase the chances of getting you to wear it. I mean you were Abnegation after all..."

"Stress the _were_ ," I point out, looking at the watch on the wall. I've been here for too long.

"Alright, I'm gonna go around, maybe train a little..."

"Tris it's your day off," Mel starts.

"Fine then I'm just going to explore around the compound. I'll see you around."

"Find me when you're done exploring, maybe we can go get a tattoo or a piercing. Just something!" She laughs when I hug her tightly.

"Okayy, till then."

* * *

Several hours later and I am still trailing foolishly after Sara around the hospital area. She threw a clipboard at me and every single time someone new had arrived with major hangover pains or wounds after toppling down the horrible stairs around the compound; she would make me write their full names down, a description of what had happened and then I would have to help her out with the medication she would give them, which was usually some kind of white pain-killers or the words 'get over it.' If I didn't know that she is secretly hunting the Divergent, I would definitely class her as a person with a glaring problem. She is like a hawk, following my every move and at times practically breathing on my neck. Her stare isn't calculating and intimidating like Eric's; but more of that accusing stare you'd send your sibling when they lie in front of your parents.

After she had given me a five minute break of trailing after her; I walk outside and slump down in the empty hallway. It is sometime after noon and my guilt is ebbing at my conscience as I think back to how incredibly disappointed Eric will be when he goes back to his apartment...which is currently empty. Ironically, my thoughts are broken when I look up to see him march towards me, his signature scowl on his face. He's slightly taller than the average Dauntless man, which gives him a more authoritative sense to his aura. He stops when he's close to me and looks down, unimpressed more than ever.

"Hi Eric," I mumble, forcing myself up on my own feet.

He narrows his eyes. "What are you doing here?" I gulp at how low his voice is. My gaze lingers anywhere but his angry eyes and at one point they fixate on the hickey still on his neck. _Even in this extremely dim lighting, it's so very visible._

"Remember back in Max's office we were talking about me working in the Infirmary?" He stiffens and I choose not to continue. To top the awkwardness level in the air, Sara pops her head out of the hospital entrance before sending me an ugly glare. I purse my lips and look at Eric for help- but he is in the middle of a scowl competition with the infuriated nurse. She'd look so much prettier if she just stopped frowning like crazy.

"Tris? Are you ready to go back to work?" I hang my head lowly as I push myself off the walk before beginning to walk towards her; only to be stopped by Eric's toned arm blocking my path. I nearly collide into him, and when I look up I see a wall behind his eyes, hiding his emotions. He knits his eyebrows together before turning around menacingly towards Sara, who's finally wiped that glower off of her face.

"I am here to take Tris back to my office for a conversation about her training."

She opens her mouth to counter but he shuts her up quickly. "This matter does not concern you, so if you like, you may find her another day." Defeated, Sara nods at him before turning to stare at me icily as she walks back into the Infirmary. Once she's gone, I feel like I can finally breathe again.

"Hi Tris," he finally greets me, his exterior wall still not taken down. I smile at him, biting back the urge to lean up and kiss him sweetly. He pushes away from the wall before nodding at me to follow him. We make our way through the hallways, his hand finding the small of my back, gradually lowering itself every now and then when the corridor wasn't too packed.

"Did you actually mean what you said?"

He raises his eyebrows. "When you said that you need to talk to me about initiation. Did I do something..." He chuckles quietly, shaking his head, his palm pressing down.

"No, it's just I don't know what Sara wants. Max is involved in this too. But nobody is telling me anything," he grumbles, making us turn towards the elevator. Luckily, it's empty and we both visibly relax. I lean against him, lacing my fingers with his own, relaxing even more when he squeezes me back. When the _ding_ that alerts us that we have arrived at our destination is heard, we pull apart rather slowly and continue our way to his office.

* * *

It's pretty much the same layout as Max's, only freakishly clean. Everything is in order, all of his books are stacked nicely on his shelves and even his chairs look inclined to the point where one can think that he measured them precisely. Except for his desk; which is flooded with papers and documents and files right beside a futuristic looking computer. But most of all, I am obsessed with the window view. We were at the highest point of the Dauntless compound and so the offices overlooked all of Chicago. If I squint my eyes, I can even pick out the grave-looking Abnegation village.

After entering his office, he returned to the paperwork which might be the reason behind my jokes that he always 'too tired'. In that time, I linger around the office, skimming through his books before walking up towards the window. Although the sun is shining directly into the office, the glass is thick which allows the room to keep its cool temperature. I break into small smiles whenever I hear his exasperated groans or whenever he mumbles out a curse when he doesn't agree with something, but my eyes never leave the outside view. One time after he swears at Candor without providing me with an explanation, I step up towards him from the back and press my palms on his shoulders, massaging them gently. He moans, raising his head up until it is resting on my stomach as he looks up at me kneading his muscle knots. I smile down at him, pecking his nose before letting go slowly. He grunts impatiently, glaring me down as I walk over to the door.

"And where do you think you're going?" He declares seriously, leaning back into his chair.

I send him a side-smile. "I have friends you know?" He shakes his head, raising a brow. I huff. "I made an appointment with Mel today. I might get a new piercing, or a tattoo. Not sure yet." He narrows his eyes at the sound of her name, and from where I'm standing I can still see how painfully clenched his jaw is. I send him a playful grin, casually walking back towards him until I sit on his knee. I wrap my arms around his neck, my nose gently brushing it until my lips reach his ear.

"Do you have any suggestions?" His dark chuckle makes me sigh out in relief but I jerk out of his reach as soon as his own lips meet my neck. I fall to the ground, making him look down at me impatiently but at the same time, highly amused. I point a finger at him. "I have enough hickeys thank you very much." He rolls his eyes before lifting me up and onto him again.

"We should get matching piercings," he announces quietly, making me smirk. "Wouldn't people think something out of it?" He scoffs. "No one needs to know. We will go at different times." I pause to think for a moment before twirling my pinky finger around his.

"Deal. So today I'm not going to get a stud because I wanna think about what to get matching with you." Now he smirks in response, steadying me on his lap with a hand on my hip.

"Fine. But that doesn't mean that I'm gonna wait for you though. Whatever the first person gets done, the second person needs to do it too." I frown, squinting my eyes at his mocking innocent expression. I pinky-promise him again.

"You better not pierce a weird place Eric I swear to..." His lips find mine again, swallowing my threat. Pulling away quickly, I kiss him hastily before skipping out of his office, flashing a smile and sending him a wink as soon as I meet his disappointed pout before I close the door.

* * *

"I'm thinking of getting this," Mel squeals as she holds out an outline of a tattoo design with an anchor surrounded by swirls of white flames. I widen my eyes, trailing the intricate tattoo.

"Wow." I mutter, nodding at her as she walks back to Bud to happily get hers done. I linger around the hot-red colored sofas, passing through page after page until I finally find a design worth the pain. It was classed under the ' _Permanent Henna Designs_ ," where all of the drawings consisted of gorgeous coils of ink along with tiny dots here and there and the final product turns out to be an outline of some kind of strange-petaled flower. I pick a more complex one though, that begins from the wrist following lines going horizontally with little triangles, circles and waves. It then tilts to one of the outside part of the hand like a curve which gradually opens up to until it covers all of the knuckle areas with more oval like figures and little lines. Grinning stupidly, I slip past the counter and walk the familiar steps leading me towards Tori's private station. Luckily, she's free and hovering over a sketch. She looks up when I stand at the doorway, unsure as to whether I should enter or not. I sit down in the tattoo chair as soon as she gestures me to.

"What we working with today?" She grins at me as I show her my chosen tattoo. Taking it from me, she eyes it carefully, cocking her head ever so slightly as she copies the trail in her head. Finally, she bobs her head approvingly.

"Where'd you want it, Tris?" She begins sterilizing her weapons as I bite the inside of my cheek. "I want it on my left." She turns to stare at me amusingly, no judgment hidden behind her brown eyes. "That's new. Usually people go for hennas on their dominant hand, so they can show it off all the time." She sticks her tongue out at me as I give her my left hand, squirming slightly at the cold feeling of her numbing cream- which doesn't really do much.

Shrugging, I say, "Yeah I've kinda realized that around here. But to be honest I wanna keep my right hand free of anything just because if I ever get married, I want people to see my ring," I think out loud, furiously blushing when realization sparks up within me when Tori lets out a laugh. I groan, feeling the heat sizzle underneath my skin as I die in the chair. She continues laughing and holding her sides and I patiently wait for her to die down. When she does, she coughs and wipes a tear, still smiling uncontrollably.

"I didn't mean to say that out loud you know," I whisper timidly, clenching my teeth when the tattoo gun's needle makes contact with my skin. Apparently the patches were either getting cleaned or are being used today, so Tori has to stick with the old-fashioned tattoo gun way.

She smirks, not looking up and not sparing any concentration on anything other than her work. "That I realized, sugar. So tell me, who's got you thinking about proposals and engagement rings?" She playfully hints as she squints her eyes.

I purse my lips. "No one," I reply a little too quickly, causing her to stop what she's doing and glare up at me.

"I swear if it's got to do with a certain someone with two microdermals above his eyebrow Tris." We stare at each other for a moment, until she sighs, closing her eyes before continuing her painful trail.

"It just...happened..." I sigh, wincing suddenly when she hit a certain spot. She nods stiffly, gnawing at her lip. "Tris, I really hope you know what you're doing. After what you told me last time...you're putting yourself in a really dangerous position," she lowers her voice to the point where I can barely hear her, but it's for the best.

"I know. But listen I've got new information and I've been dying to talk to you about it." With that, she stops again and walks over to the nearly shut door; before slamming it and locking it. She walks over to me and resumes the process. I shut my eyes, taking in a shaky breath before continuing.

"It's not only the leaders involved in this hunt. The head nurse, Sara, she came up to me this one time I was in the Infirmary and she pulled me in her office. After that, she basically manipulated me into agreeing to work under her arm around the medical area so that she could ' _keep an eye on me more often_ '...like that makes sense," I huff, stressing out Sara's literal words. Tori scowls, sucking air through clenched teeth as she dips her needle in the little tube of black ink sitting on a small tray beside me.

"It doesn't finish there," I continue, watching her eyes flicker towards me for a second. "This morning I was in Eric's apartment again, and she came knocking on his door, basically trying to persuade him to agree with working together on this sick hunt. Apparently it's not only her and the leaders involved. She said that there's a couple of us who are being watched carefully. But she used me as an example just because I defected from Abnegation," I growl the words out, furious that I'm still labelled as a Stiff.

 _Once a Stiff, always a Stiff_

"To an extent, I would understand why they'd have you as a target. Abnegation transfers are extremely rare, so even before you reached the compound they had already painted an X on your back. The thing is, why are they all doing this?" I shrug, frowning as I try and think hard to match the question with an answer.

Tori exhales sharply. "Tris. Don't ask questions. Don't try and find anything out on your own. Your life is at risk. I want you to be extra careful these days, especially with Stage Two beginning tomorrow. Once you are given the fear serum, you will have to learn how to fight against your own fears. They can see everything that will happen. Try and stick to how a Dauntless would react under your fear circumstances and try to think in a way a Dauntless would. Don't trust anyone...except me. If you find any more information, come straight here and tell me." I nod, blinking a couple of times as I finally realize that she is done with the tattoo and she is now standing in front of me with her hand on my shoulder.

"Don't worry." I get up and she pulls me in a hug. "I'm going to be really mad if something happens to you Tris. I mean it. No more bodies need to find their way to the bottom of the Chasm." She flinches at her own words and I agree, embracing her tighter.

* * *

Once we are done and she finally allowed me to pay my own tattoo under the threat that if she sees me sulking around asking to pay one more time, she's gonna beat me- I make my way out of the parlor and walk around the Pit, aimlessly trying to catch sight of my date. Passing by the hairdresser salon for what felt like the hundredth time, I roll my eyes, exasperated when I see Melody waving childishly from inside.

"You could have told me that you were here, right?" I slump down in the sofa beside her chair, picking up a magazine.

"You have no idea how much I was laughing when I saw you walk past me six fricking times Tris!" She laughs, tilting her head before yelling out a series of curse words when the hairdresser burns her neck with the hair-straightener.

I chuckle, classing it as karma before I awkwardly greet Kyra, the popping-gum lady from before. She saunters over towards me, lightly swaying and nearly tripping before reaching and tugging at the ends of my hair before grimacing. "I see the color has been holding up for you these couple of months. What I'm severely disliking is the appearance of these split ends. Come come." She ushers me quickly into the chair beside a Melody wearing a shit-eating grin. I watch as Kyra hobbles towards the scissors; dropping them once before taking her time and picking them up...then dropping them again. My stomach turns when I see one of her co-workers hand her a silver flask, which she happily takes a hold of, before drinking whatever is inside, squinting her eyes at the taste.

"You know, the split ends aren't that bad," I laugh nervously, watching her stammer back behind me. "I can come back another time." I attempt to stand up but she grabs me by my shoulders and forces me back on my ass. "It'll take...two minss," she slurs, snapping the scissors in the air. I keep quiet, afraid to try and stand up against a drunk woman holding a pair of rusty scissors. I pray under my breath that these 'two minss' can get over themselves and I can make my merry way out of here. She begins clipping at my split ends and I let out an unintentionally loud gasp when she cuts too much. She wobbles a bit, lowering herself down to inspect the damage.

"No worries no worries. I'm just going to do this..." She evenly cuts the other side to match the ruined one and when I see that everything looks relatively equal; I spring out of my chair with widened eyes.

"I should really get going Kyra. You can finish this another time." She stares at me for a long moment, stepping up and forcing me against the wall.

"Kyra!" Someone calls from behind her and I use that time of her sloppily twisting around to dash out of the salon and nearly hitting into some member outside. Muttering my apologies, I make my way towards the Leadership apartments as quickly and secretly as I can, barely able to keep my eyes open because the tiredness that was overwhelming me. I can also blame the numbing scent of the antibacterial gel of my covered tattoo, which always makes me sleepy, at least after all my other tattoos. All I'm trying to do now, is not pass out on my way to Eric's.

* * *

 **Eric's POV**

"Shit dude, I swear your sofa has moved positions," Rick calls out from the living room as I get us some beers from the fridge. Placing the bottles on the counter whilst trying to find a corkscrew, I can't help but let my eyes linger over the counter where Tris had sat only this morning, blushing furiously when I sent her sideways glances. She is so innocent and such an intriguing character to read. I've seen her become angry a couple of times and she usually forgets about it after a few hours. However, the most affected I've seen her was after I caught her in front of the Erudite building, after I was sent to deliver bullshit reports about the Divergent to Jeanine, who was extra seductive, which is seriously pissing me off. This little girl is playing around with me without even knowing it. And to top it all off, I'm allowing it...without even knowing it.

Snapping out of my daze which has fallen upon me for the millionth time only today, I open the bottles and walk over to see Rick sprawled on my couch, eagerly waiting for me...actually no...waiting for the beer to arrive. I sit on the other side of the couch, frowning as I wonder what Tris is up to.

"Dude?" I snap my head to Rick who is still eyeing me intensely. I sigh, clenching my jaw. "If you have something to ask me, you can go ahead and ask me." He chuckles, shaking his head.

"How's it going with your girl, Trish?" I guffaw at his mistake, swiftly correcting him and vowing that I would never let that one go. I purse my lips together, attempting to keep my emotionless mask on as much as possible. Rick is my non-related brother, but I despise having to open up to people. _Well, except Tris of coarse..._

"We're doing fine." I roll my shoulders, chuckling at his disappointed glare. "You can do better than that."

I raise a brow at him. "Since when am I known to be one who likes talking about feelings?" This time it's his turn to chuckle. "I'm just trying to learn more about the girl who finally cracked through you, that's it." I pause, taking a swig out of the beer before clicking my tongue. "We're going slow. There's not much else I can really talk about." He sends me a shocked stare before muttering something to himself. "Never in a million years would I have ever thought that the legendary Eric Coulter would proceed with caution when it comes to women!" I frown, squinting my eyes as I fixate my glower onto the floor. This is ridiculous. I am trying so hard to keep my temper cool. "Never in a million years would I have ever thought that I would meet someone like Tris," I mutter to myself, relieved when I see that he has payed no attention to the past few seconds of our moments in my living room.

"I wonder if I would have looked better than you with the Leadership tattoos," he snickers, eyeing my ink with a hint of jealousy sparking behind his stare. I smirk cockily. _Can't blame him for dreaming._

"You can always get the tattoos...but you'll probably get ridiculed for walking around without formally having them hold the status and meaning," I counter, listening to him grumble to himself. When he yells out and claps me on the back, I send him a threatening glare before demanding what the fuck got his spirits up so quickly.

"You fucker, you call hickeys 'going slow'? Did you tell her to bruise you under the tat? Was it to hide them better...?" I cut him off rudely by narrowing my eyes in the most menacing way I can possibly create. He winces, his chuckles dying down quickly as he averts his gaze off of my neck.

"If this is your reaction to this; I really _don't_ wanna see your reaction when you see her," I frown, rubbing the back of my neck before sighing impatiently. _Am I a bad person if I just leave him here and go after Tris?_

As if following a script, we both get startled as we listen to my front door get unlocked gently and quietly. I glare at Rick who is widening his eyes in question. _As if I'd know who just broke into my apartment...oh shit._

I curse inwardly when I see his lips part when his eyes fall towards the corridor connecting the living room and the entrance hallway. There stood Tris, with squinted eyes and plastic wrap over her left hand. I can tell she isn't herself; her blush nowhere to be found under not only my stare but Rick's too. She cocks her head, stepping closer as she yawns, cupping her hand over her mouth while the other one swings through the air. My stomach turns, wishing that we're alone. Standing up hastily, I don't bother trying to keep my cocky demeanor in front of Rick as I swiftly take her in my arms, carrying her bridal-style into the bedroom. I ignore Rick's whistle as I close the door to the bedroom before placing her small figure on my hilariously large bed against her frame. She shifts, rubbing her eyes slowly before meeting up my gaze. My guts tuck as soon as I see that very familiar and relieving blush creep up onto her face.

"How...?" She trails off all too quickly, giving up as I begin helping her out of her clothes. She seems tense at first, but when I nod at her to allow me to help, she lifts her hands in the air as I push the shirt I had given her this morning over her head. I grab her wrist gently, poking the taping around the protective seal over the tattoo.

"What did you get?" I ask her curiously, backing into the bathroom to bring her some healing cream as she pulls off the tape. Under it, she reveals a henna tattoo, probably the hottest thing I low-key love on a Dauntless woman as ink. I smirk, beginning to rub the cream carefully as I simultaneously lean in to kiss her soft, plump lips. She tastes sweet and I can never just kiss her once and not yearn for more. Keeping to my statement, I break the kiss and begin peppering them over the sharp jawline and onto her neck. I reach her sweet spot, growling when she mewls in response to my urgent kisses. For a moment I want to throw her under the covers and let her fall asleep draped over me. However, that rare, careful and guilt-stricken side of me quickly talks me out of this decision. _I have all the time in the world to be with her. Rick has been patiently waiting to see you for a couple of days every few or so months. Don't stand him up._ I groan, picking her up and tucking her under the covers. She stares up at me innocently, her stare making my hard demeanor known as all of me to most people melt away.

"Go to your friend. I'll still be here when he leaves," she voices my thoughts and for the last time I capture her lips with mine, biting down on her bottom lip for a moment longer. She wraps an arm around my neck. I wait for her to pull away, hating when I have to do it first. A minute later, she loosens her grip and her arms fall over her chest and bed, as I chuckle, watching her turn to the side in her sleep. Pressing a kiss on her shoulder; I make my way back to the ecstatic Rick.

Sitting back in my seat on the couch, I pretend like nothing happened, casually continuing to stare down at the floor, feeling his eyes burning into my side.

"You're fucked," he whispers.

"I know." I mumble back.

* * *

Rick leaves several hours after I put Tris to bed. He finally got me to soften up after several beers and card games. I did feel a little sad when he walked towards the door, but then I remember that he's going to be breathing down my neck for another couple of days so I didn't get too sad.

Cleaning up the living room and throwing away all of the bottles; I make my way back to the bedroom, my heart leaping in my chest when I open my door to see her curled up into my side of the bed as she hugs my pillow, her face buried in it. I get undressed as quietly as I can before nudging her slightly so she can make space for me instead of the pillow. Her eyes open up and she glances at me groggily before moving back to her side. When I'm under the covers, it doesn't take long for her to crawl back and mold into me, her head resting on my chest as her arm wraps itself around my waist. I stir slightly to the side, placing my own hand at the small of her back, pushing my leg through hers as I make the proximity between us practically non-existent. She lifts her head up in her sleep, looking so peaceful, that resting bitch-face I sometimes hear initiates say about her not there. Her lips tuck at the end making it seem like as if she's smiling in her sleep. Which she might be.

I stare at her for what feels like hours and honestly I wouldn't care if it was hours. I kiss her forehead before inclining my head so that my cheek could press on her forehead. I am so vulnerable, my dark side is cursing me so much whilst my good side is praising me, forcing me to feel something I never thought I could feel. But here she is, a little ball in my arms, sparking up and waking up what I thought was dead within me. I never wanted any of this to happen, but it happened, and I couldn't be happier, as much as the demons in my mind at telling me that this wasn't me. Remembering her last words before she passed out on the way to the Infirmary after our physical fight, I suck in a breath and stare down at her relaxed features.

"I am so in love with you Tris it physically hurts in the best way possible."

* * *

 **A/N**

 **So...this happened. Haha, bet you didn't see that coming! To be honest, neither did I. I've been planning the L word drop from his side for a while now and I've always known that it's going to end up like that. For those of you who might have missed it, Tris did say it first- she just doesn't remember. More about it is going to be revealed later, I don't want to say too much ;)**

 **Thank you for the growing supports, for the reviews/favorites/follows. My excitement when I see a new r/f/f may equal to a 5 year old being allowed to stay up after 9:30...lol X**

 **Till next time, lots of love!**

 **N**


	27. Trust?

I hear him.

My head was pounding to the rhythm of my heart as I heard him slide into the bedroom as quickly and quietly as his large form could. My heart swelled and it took all in me not to break into a grin or a chuckle. I would have risked it all and thrown my bets away at the fact that in this cold darkness veiling over us, he wouldn't catch me staring. But I choose against this, knowing well how things like this don't always end up the way I want them to. Besides, Eric seems to always know when there's a change in the environment.

I felt him gently nudge me and only then I realized that I had stepped over my own boundaries and slept on his side of the bed, for comfort. I shuffled away quickly, opening my eyes slightly to get a last glance at the raging man hovering above me in the cold darkness of his dark bedroom. When I felt the bed shift under his weight too, I stirred once more, abandoning his pillow so that I could rest my head onto his broad, bare chest. His deep inhales and exhales were like my lullaby. It is rare for me to sleep over at his house, but in all the times that I have; I understand how much easier it is for me to fall asleep listening to him breathe and grunt softly in his sleep. Eric's palm finds its way to the small of my back whilst he snakes one of his legs in between my thighs. His heartbeat was beating insanely loud...maybe it was because I had my head right over his heart...or maybe it was because he was nervous. _But then again, why would he be nervous?_

I suddenly feel his cold lips on my forehead, followed by him burying one side of his face in my hair. My stomach pleasantly twists, longing for more. But curiosity overwhelms me and I want to see how he acts with me sleeping on him. I hear him grind his teeth together before inhaling sharply and spilling out the words forcing me to believe that this was all a dream and that I would wake up once again in the Infirmary, squirming nervously under Eric's trademark and severely unimpressed scowl.

I bite my tongue to prevent myself from opening my eyes and blowing up my cover. Everything goes deathly quiet after that. His chest stops moving, and the only thing that stops me from panicking that something is wrong with him is that heartbeat. It is like a drum, the fasted and melodic drum I have ever heard. _Maybe even faster than the drums they would ring around Chicago back when I was Abnegation and they would have marches every now and then._

He repeats it again, as if to make himself aware that he has in fact said it before. I wriggle out of his grasp and turn so that my back is facing him. My face is hot and I need time to process this confession that sounded fairly difficult and foreign for him to word to my sleeping form. I feel his stare over my back and there is a moment of hesitation before he scoots closer- hand back on my waists while I feel his face resting against the back of my head. I sigh pleasantly- _if only I had the courage to turn around and utter the same._

 _Maybe tomorrow._

* * *

I must have woken up on the wrong side of the bed, because I feel shittier than ever. The bed also feels empty without Eric. He left me to sleep in- although I do not appreciate it since Stage Two starts in twenty minutes- according to the angrily blinking red numbers in his alarm clock beside the bed. I groan, rolling around under the dark sheets until I end up on the floor with a loud _thump._ Cursing quietly, I stumble towards the bathroom, nearly colliding into the door if I didn't look up in the last second. I take a brisk shower, swearing once more when the shampoo goes in my eyes. I decide against using hot water today, given the fact that I could literally burn myself to death.

Getting dressed was a difficult task too, because I was trying my best not to slip on my way out of the bathroom (even though I specifically dried the dark grey tiles)- I still managed to take a trip onto the floor again. Muttering to myself, I crawl up and hold my palms up cautiously as I take one tentative step after the other back towards the bedroom. Eric has left me leggings on the chair facing the small office area he has in the corner of his bedroom, so I make my way towards them, only to realize that I have no clean shirt. Sighing, I put the pants on before stepping up towards his closet. To my surprise, all his clothes are extremely neatly folded on top of each other; and all of his different jackets (as well as suits) as hanging on separate coat-hangers; and it seems to me that he has arranged them according to their darkness in the color scheme- which with Eric isn't very diverse. His clothes range from the lighter shades of grey to the darker shades like proper dark-grey, midnight blue, burgundy and of coarse- black. I pick a tight, onyx shirt which looks like it would be tight on Eric himself- but that's a good thing because it won't spark up a lot of questions as to why the Stiff is wearing abnormally large clothes. Tucking the shirt into the leggings and throwing a jacket on to conceal it even further- I forget that I have not yet managed to tie my shoelaces; so I trip horribly; landing right on my face.

* * *

My trip to the Cafeteria is probably even more pleasant than my morning in Eric's apartment. I manage to slip down a flight of stairs (but for this I blame how uneven and constantly slippery the state of them are)- and luckily no one is there to witness my mortifying act. But the worst thing that could have possibly happened to me today is when Ida catches me huffing and glaring at the basket which should supposedly contain my favorite blueberry muffins- and she has the audacity to tell me that they were all eaten. Deciding that no other food is worthy enough for me to call it breakfast today; I grumpily make my way to the Simulation Room.

It takes me a while to find its location, but lucky for me, I stumble upon some friendly looking Dauntless members whom happily showed me the way. I hastily thank them before jogging towards the brightly lit room containing chairs for the initiates to wait in before being accepted into the Simulation Room. I sigh in relief when I see Peter waving at me as a grinning Uriah stands up to push a seat for me to sit in. I slump down in it; quietly mumbling my 'good mornings' to my not-so-ecstatic-looking group of friends. Marlene looks like she's going to be sick and Melody and Lynn look bored as ever. The trepidation in the room amongst not only us but the rest of the initiation group is high. That's until Uriah breaks it by pulling out a stack of cards and voicing all of our anxiety.

We play as initiates walk in and leave; their howls of fear echoing through my core, sending obnoxious shivers down my spine. Uriah spends his time patiently teaching me how to play cards alongside Melody while Peter is walking up and down the room nervously and Lynn is attempting to braid Marlene's hair, which ends up in a disaster. It seems like we spend eons waiting for our names to be called out, and the nervousness is causing me to feel sick to my stomach. Finally, the door opens and out of the room emerges a pale-looking Four with his arm around an even more pale-looking girl. He walks past us, clutching onto her tightly, calming her sobs down with a somewhat soothing/commanding voice. We all exchange nervous glances between each other.

 _This could all be us._

"I'm going to take her down to the Infirmary and when I'm back we'll..."

"No need." Eric's deep and husky voice interrupts Four, making us all snap our heads back to the open entrance of the waiting room. There he is- in all his glory- leaning against the frame of the door with his arms crossed against his chest; the ends of his lips curled up in amusement, with no actual amusement hidden within his features. The room goes quiet as we wait to see Four's response. The sobbing girl in his arms loses consciousness for a moment before standing back up and leaning even more so against our instructor, who is glowering impatiently at the young leader.

"Oh yeah? I thought you said you'd rather work at the Fence instead of having to oversee another stage with me?" Four raises an eyebrow, earning a loud and highly offended gasp from Uriah.

"Well I changed my mind," Eric snaps back, his eyes darkening as he continues to glare at Four, who sighs, shaking his head. "After all, I outrank you, so technically I can be here if I want to, and no one can stop me," he presses, forcing Four to straighten his posture before walking out of the room hurriedly, not missing the chance to let his arm brush against Eric's as he passes. The latter grimaces at the contact, twisting his head to glower at his rival's retreating figure, before turning back to face us. Only then does he push himself off the frame to walk towards the Simulation Room. He doesn't bother to glance at me as he brushes past, and I huff in response, sinking back into the seat, taking the cards from Uriah before attempting to shuffle them strategically.

My actions are heavily interrupted when I hear my name ring around the room. I bite my lip- placing the cards on my chair before turning back to walk towards the wide open doors of the Simulation Room. Eric stands at the doorway- menacing stare lingering on anything but me. When I pass him, my senses become clogged up with his cologne- my favorite scent in the whole wide world. I take a step inside, cautiously taking in my new surroundings. The room has very little light permeating through it and the walls are solid, emanating coldness. There is a reclining metal chair in the center of the room- like the one found in the room I took my aptitude test- and beside it there is an attached computer screen on a desk. I snap back into reality as soon as I hear Eric slam the door shut and his footsteps echo around the room. I feel his hand gently rip me out of my stationary stance as he guides me towards the chair. I sit down, taking my time to put my feet up and rest my head on the head rest. He busies himself with the information appearing on the screen in front of him. Gradually, the crease in between his brows deepens as he types away impatiently. I bite the inside of my cheek, knowing damn well that now is definitely not the perfect time for me to blurt out that I heard what he said to me in the middle of the night. So I keep quiet.

"Aren't you a little quiet?" He breaks the silence with an emotionless tone, sending me a sideways glance as he tips a vial of some kind of orange fluid into a scary-looking syringe. I gulp, tilting my head to the side a little.

"Uh well, I'm not exactly sure what I'm supposed to say before you put me up against my own fears." He snorts, narrowing his eyes in concentration. My palms become sweaty so I busy myself by wiping them on my leggings.

"I like your shirt," he states, smirking at me as he turns his own chair towards me. I heat up a little, pursing my lips together.

"Thanks, I found it in your closet. It was either this or the black suit I'm so dying to see you in." He chuckles, picking at a strand of my hair to move it off my neck. Then he frowns.

"I never realized that you cut your hair." I feel the embarrassment grow back in me again as I think of how I ended up having shorter hair.

"Long story short- a drunk hairdresser payed little attention to what she was doing on a person who initially didn't want anything done on herself." I shrug my shoulders, gazing up at his face, taking in how undeniably handsome he is. He raises his eyebrows his lips twitching up ever so slightly before I feel something cold press against my neck. I flinch in surprise, raising my own eyebrows back at him.

"Disinfectant," he replies shortly, cutting up any strings for further engagement in a conversation. I nod stiffly, capturing my bottom lip with my teeth as the piercing pain flows through me. A second later and the pressure of the needle in my neck is gone, thankfully. That's when the drowsiness hits me and suddenly I can see two forms of Eric in front of me. I follow his lips, trying hard to listen to what they both have to say.

"...Lower your heart rate. Keep calm and face your fear head on...I'll be here when you come back..."

Before the blackness surrounds me, I can swear that I feel him squeeze my hand tightly.

* * *

I gasp as my eyes shoot open, limbs flailing and trembling. Although being conscious, I feel as if my mind isn't completely with me as I am not fully aware that I am not alone. I rethink to the scenes in the landscape, from the creepy crawlies jumping up and onto me...and to my strongest fears like my fear of being locked up in a tight space with submerging water around me. I barely hear his voice over my heart beat in my eyes as I wipe my forehead with an extremely trembling hand. He calls for me again and this time I attempt to look at him through the pool of tears drowning my sight.

He hesitates for a moment, biting his lip, unsure as to what he is supposed to do. Then the next moment I am flush against his chest; his strong arms clasped around me as I focus on my breathing. His fingers trail up and down my back- eventually helping me out of my miserable state. But it all ends too soon when he pushes his chair away; staring at me curiously...almost calculatingly. I exhale my breath out slowly, burning under his somewhat morbid stare; averting my own gaze towards his combat boots. Only then I realize how perfect his laces are tied. But it's not like I'm going to tell him that now.

"Tris." He repeats for the third time- and although his voice is hard and cool- there is no sense of impatience within it. I frown, looking up timidly at his jawline and neck, not really ready for his intense stare. From my peripheral sight I see him squinting before he turns around to type away on the computer. I curse my shivering demeanor and I feel bile rise up to my stomach every time I think back at how real and macabre my fear landscape was.

Suddenly Eric snaps his head back at me and I jump slightly, which makes his expression soften up the tiniest bit.

"How long do you think you were in your fear landscape?" He mutters, casting a dark glare in my direction. I furrow my brows, trying to think of how much time I felt like I spent in each scene.

I cock my head to the side, letting him hold my stare before I answer. "I don't know; thirty minutes or so?"

He snorts, shaking his head no. "Six. Minutes. You spent only a minute in each of your fears. That's...unheard of," he continues, shifting the chair so that he can be closer to me. For the first time I am afraid. I am exactly what he is hunting for and I may have accidentally just made his task of finding them a little bit easier.

We stare at each other for a minute and I try not to fiddle too much under his stare. He sighs, closing his eyes and furrowing his brows in through.

"Do you have something to tell me?" His eyes are still closed and I feel stupid for shaking my head.

"No." My voice is barely a whisper, but he hears me. I watch as his jaw clenches and his teeth grind in his mouth. He finally opens his eyes, that grey color nearly black.

"Alright then. I'm going to start with an easier question," he retorts dangerously, leaning in closer. "What did you get for your aptitude test."

"Dauntless. I thought that the leaders had access..." I trail off, unable to continue under his stare.

"Dauntless?" I nod stiffly, biting onto my tongue. "Dauntless...and?" I widen my eyes, praying that I misheard the last part and that he only repeated my aptitude test result for a second confirmation.

"Only Dauntless. You can't get more than one faction in your test result...can you?" I press, knowing damn well that if I avoid his glare now, he's going to notice that I'm lying. But then again, he probably already knows.

"Oh you already know the answer to that Tris." He emphasizes my name, sounding like he's silently urging me to spill and tell him just what he wants to hear.

I shrug stubbornly. "No I don't. Otherwise I wouldn't be asking you this."

We stare at each other for what feels like forever and his glower is making me more nervous as the seconds tick by. For the first time in his life, he gives up the battle by sighing and slightly slumping his shoulders.

"Alright, you're free to go. Call Uriah on your way out." I bob my head obediently, pushing myself off the chair as I make my way towards the exit. Just as I am about to reach for the handle, Eric calls back after me again. I turn my head around, my heart stopping at his knowing stare.

"For your information- not only did you just break the fastest record of passing through your fears, but you also kept on muttering something an unconscious-under-the-serum person isn't supposed to be saying." He leers at me triumphantly, just after my mood blackens.

He turns back to busying himself with fixing Uriah's vial of serum. "I'll talk to you later."

I stomp out of the room- shutting the heavy door loudly before nodding at Uriah that Eric is waiting for him inside. I then excuse myself to my group of friends- telling them that I need some air after being put in a situation where I had no control over the consequences whatsoever.

* * *

I walk around aimlessly, until I stumble through a small path connected to a well-concealed part of the Chasm. Walking deeper into the hallway, I am greeted by the roaring song of the Chasm. I take my time because the path is hard to see because it blends so well with the rocky wall and floor. The rocks surrounding it form an unsteady ground, rising up at harsh angles from the rushing water. However, there are some areas that have a smoother surface, so I slide against them until I hit the floor. And because of the loudness and danger withheld in this path- people avoid coming here. I hug my knees, bringing them up to my chest as I rock side to side- two words imprinting themselves painfully in my mind.

 _He knows._

I am too numb to cry and I catch my stare linger towards the edge of the path far too often. I am broken between doing something recklessly stupid that could cost me my life, or waiting for Eric to just come and take my life away from me without me even having to bother doing something recklessly stupid. But I am no quitter, and I am not giving up on the little stability I have here. I have a dauntless family; friends; people who actually care about me and will not do me harm. I have an instructor who wants to see us succeed and...I also have a leader.

 _My leader._

 _Eric._

My heart begins beating rapidly just at the mere thought of his intimidating scowl and hulking frame walking amongst the corridors. It is only now- as I stare into the waters- that I realize how much he means to me. For I have fallen insanely and desperately in love with him.

 _I am in love with Eric and that could cost me my life._

* * *

 **A/N**

 **Hey hey!**

 **Tomorrow I am sitting my final exam...and then it's summer time for me! Which means that I'm going to be extra free from revision and studying and all that bs. I figured that although this chapter is too short for my liking, this is the way I want it to end. I hope this clears up on the question of their relationship status. That's one tricky situation out- which gives me more time to focus on the serious part of the plot.**

 **Also, 100 fricking people following the story?! What?! You have no idea how much this means to me. I thank each an every one of you who have spent their time reading, reviewing, following and favoriting my story. I hope I don't disappoint!**

 **With love,**

 **Niki X**


	28. The Lion and the Lamb

In three days, Stage Two is over.

There is no way for us to properly train for this so the final exam is closer in time compared to the tough couple of months we spent building up muscles in Stage One. It has been exactly one week and six hours since I realized what I felt for Eric. Well, not realized- because deep down I have always known. Ever since I snapped back at him the day he pulled me off the net.

The anxiety has found its new home within the cores of all of us. Even Lynn- who never flinches and seems to never feel pain- is too pale and her trembling hands tell a tale of their own. Even Uriah- that favorite grin wiped away and a distant week-old memory; now replaced with a blank expression after he had to watch his own hands become the weapons taking away his family and friends' lives away.

I myself am no perfect girl who can wake up to try and make everyone feel better about themselves and their fears. For the six fears that have people clutching their heads, wondering how the Stiff girl...the little girl who challenged their leader into a physical fight...the one who seized the flag in the CTF game...how this little Stiff girl has such a small amount of fears. Word travels surprisingly fast around the compound and before the end of the night following the first practice; people had begun sending me strange looks. Some stares seem genuinely happy and proud that I- a person with only six fears- is trying to become a member here. There's also the ones full of hatred and disgust. I always respond with a small smile on my quivering lips- always remembering how my mother used to tell me that _silence hurts more than words_.

One thing hurts me more than silence and that is; the deadly silence between Eric and I. Our hickeys are blemishing- just like the chances of us talking to each other. He'd scowl in my direction every time we pass each other in the hallway...but then again he scowls at practically anything existing around us. I don't blame him though; why would he want to be with the girl holding the sign 'I'm Divergent.'

As the seventh hour trickles by, I find myself feeling colder and more detached from what is going on around me. I have become a prisoner of my own mind, guilt cursing me; anger spitting on me as I internally shriek and belittle myself for being Divergent. For being different. I understand it's the stress of having someone look through your head...but it's not only that. After the first practice, I heard that Eric and Four got into a fight as to who would continue the stage with us. Max had to intervene and the quarrel ended with them splitting us into two groups- one for each of the two frustrated men. For the first time I wished to be with Four instead of Eric. And did my wish come true?

No.

Every day; he would put me under a daze, push me to fight against my own demons and then as I wake up he would wordlessly just stare at me until I leave the room. Even as I close the door behind me- it is as if I can still feel his burning gaze through the door.

With all this overthinking, I had found time to spend getting to know that compound even more. I had found secret passages and hallways every other member wouldn't know about. I had spent my time thinking about him or occasionally stealing a knife from the training room- or borrowing Mel's- and I would practice my skills against the surface of the rocks. Or I would just carve. I find solidity in having the power to do something over the rocky material. It is soothing listening to the dagger grind against the surface. However my favorite place to let my thoughts seep away is huddled in the corner of the hallway with the drinking fountain. Over the little fountain there is a small light which emits a blue glow. That is the only source of lighting in this area, so passing people do not usually acknowledge my existence in the darkest corner. It is close to the stairs leading to the Leadership Offices; so I get a fair amount of glimpses of Max passing by or Eric sauntering towards his office with that blank glare.

I hug my knees closer to my chest, sighing deeply as I close my eyes, listening to the tap water trickle down. I came here right after my fear landscape practice and I don't know what time of the evening it is. For some unknown reason; Eric likes to keep me in the waiting room for as long as possible and usually I am the only person left when my time to take the test arrives. And after that I do not try and find my friends- since we all want our own space for a bit.

I open my eyes and crane my neck until my head is resting against the rocks as I hear the sound of one's heels trot down the stairs- painfully slowly. I then hear to the sound of confident heavy boots following the heels' suit and only then I relax regardless of the fact that my heart is threatening to explode in my chest. I squint my eyes at the two figures appearing at the end of the staircase; and I note how the more petite's figure is practically camouflaged in this blue lighting.

 _Jeanine._

"Do go over what I'll be sending you tonight," she says, earning a grunt from Eric who is probably following her so that he could escort her out. I watch her take a tentative step towards him and it takes all within me not to snort at his stationary position. He continues emitting the 'don't fuck with me' aura; hands clasped behind his back, clenched jawline and narrowed eyes as he looks down at the Erudite leader.

"You know Eric." Her voice is mellow, almost sweet to the point of me wanting to gag. "I've had an insider tell me that you're becoming close with a potential threat of _ours_. Beatrice?" I need to lean in a little out of the shadow to catch his glare contort into a darker expression.

"Well then I'm afraid you need to change your insider." He brushes past her swiftly, making her nearly lose her footing against the uneven floor before she grasps on his jacket for support. He snaps his head back at her irritably, eyeing how she's clinging onto him. She clears her throat, finally letting go before fixing her inappropriately short, blue skirt. He grimaces, cocking his head slightly at her provocative action.

"There was reasoning behind my assistance with helping you become what you are today," she says indifferently as he straightens his posture casually- without replying. She takes another step towards him, grabbing onto his shoulder as she leans in to whisper something into his ear in a threatening manner. For once; I find myself cursing the sound of the dribbling stream. When she's done telling him whatever there is for him to know from such a close proximity; she does not move away. In fact if I didn't know who they were, I would have judged and thought that they were a couple breaking the 'Faction Before Blood' motto. My nerves are calmed when she moves away, smirking stupidly with her back towards him.

"I'm expecting the reports Eric. I don't know how many times I have to repeat myself. If you're hiding something from me, just know that I _will_ find out. I can take your position away from you before you even realize what's coming your way. If I don't get these reports before the Final Test, we're going to have a problem. And you know how I don't like having problems...especially with you." She stares at him for a moment before walking away; not giving him a chance to speak. My stomach drops unpleasantly as I go over her words.

 _He hasn't told her about me yet...but if he doesn't act fast he could be the one to take the blame._

I close my eyes again, my lips quivering slightly. I don't want him to get hurt because of me. Back in Abnegation we always heard about the powers of Jeanine. How unaffected she is and how she could kill, only for the sake of her experiments. I never knew that this could be true.

"You know Tris, next time if you want to be more secretive, at least try to avoid wearing red under the blue light." His voice makes me jump out of my skin. I stand up quickly and begin pacing towards him.

"I uh, I wasn't trying to eavesdrop or anything. I came here to think," I mumble, averting my stare from his intensive eyes. He sighs, stepping towards me and wrapping an arm around my waist- pulling me closer. I widen my eyes at the gesture, thinking that he would have shouted at me. He holds my eyes and I finally feel happy. Safe. I pull him into a kiss, smiling into it as my stomach twists and turns. His free hand finds my hair, the other one pressing on my back as he deepens the kiss. I moan within the quick pauses where I try and take a breath. It all ends too quickly when he begins kissing my jawline and my neck. They're quick and desperate, but they do the trick of making me lose my mind. He finishes off by resting his head against mine, smirking before I shut my eyes and let his embrace absorb me.

"I've missed you," he coos softly, making my grip of him even tighter then it already is. "I'm sorry Eric. I hate this distance..." I trail away, crushed against him in the most painfully pleasant way possible. "We need to talk," I whisper into him, pouting when he begins moving away. He nods stiffly, my heart fluttering when he entwines his fingers with mine.

"Not here," he replies gruffly as he pulls me away and towards the apartment. I thank my lucky stars and sigh in agreement, ignoring how tight his grip is on my hand.

* * *

We reach his apartment silently and with a lot of space between us- leaving a lot of people smirking and rolling their eyes at me since I must have done something wrong yet again. The cold air of the dark apartment hit me by surprise. I had not expected it to be so cold, although I blame the emptiness and lifeless atmosphere since there's always sun entering through the large windows. Eric asks me if I want a drink, to which I politely decline even though I'm thirsty. I just want to get it over with.

He walks towards the couch before sitting down. I stand awkwardly in the center of his living room; rubbing my wrist for some unknown reason. He sends me a puzzled look before calling me over. To which I decline before stepping up towards him.

"I came here to talk Eric." He narrows his eyes and frowns before nodding...probably realizing where this is going. Defeated, although I have no reason to feel this way, I saunter over and slump down beside him, completely closing up the distance between us. I take his hand and trail my fingers up and down his forearm, listening to his deep sigh as he rolls his neck back onto the couch pillow.

"I'm dead Eric," I whimper bluntly, frowning at the crack in my voice. He doesn't budge as I continue dragging my fingers over the tattoo.

"You're not," he mumbles back, shifting slightly towards me.

I huff, shaking my head. "You don't understand..."

"I very much do," he interrupts authoritatively, making me snap my head back towards him. "You don..."

"Tris." He stops me as he pushes himself up until his face is mere inches in front of mine. My breath hitches in my throat as my eyes widen, bobbing my head sheepishly. He cups my cheek as he furrows his brows together, not breaking the intensive eye-contact competition we have both entered.

"I know what you are."

Immediately, my jaw drops as my eyes fill with tears. I feel myself shake even though I shouldn't have been surprised. I knew that this was going to happen. It was only a matter of time for him to finally confront me about this. But hearing him say it out loud...

He coos me to calm down- something many people would even be surprised that the great Eric would know how to do. To have Eric calm someone down in the most soothing way possible is close to an impossible sight for one. Yet here I am, experiencing it first-hand.

"I know you're divergent Trissy." The words come out more like a purr, not necessarily because he's trying to be seductive or anything. He sounds genuine and his low voice sends me into a vortex of calmness and relief. I chew on my quivering lip, trying to assemble the puzzle in my head.

"So what's gonna happen now? Am I going somewhere?"

He laughs, pushing me towards him so that I can comfortably rest my head on his collarbone. "The only somewhere you're going to go to is the fear landscape room to finish your test; the Pit occasionally; the tattoo parlor because I know you're friends with Tori and the Cafeteria because I don't have a lot of food here...where you'll be spending the rest of your time. And you are to avoid the Infirmary and Sara as much as possible."

I lean back and stare at him incredulously, earning me a small scowl. I kiss his cheek sweetly, running a hand through his hair as I kiss any part of the side of his face. I pause for a moment. "I honestly thought you'd hand me over to Jeanine. That's why I distanced myself from you this week. As much as I hated not being with you, it hurts me more just thinking about what might happen when and if she finds out..." He captures my lips and swallows my words.

"I don't like being the good guy, but I mean it when I tell you that I would do anything to protect you." His words have a sense of finality twisted into them, leaving me no room for a debate.

I kiss him again. "I love you Eric." He smirks happily, revealing his white teeth before his lips meet mine once more. "I know you do; you told me so on the way to the Infirmary after our physical fight." He chuckles, picking a strand of my hair and tucking at it lightly. I gasp, biting my lip as I try and remember what the hell happened. How it happened.

"The sedative you were given later will prevent you from remembering. Some side effect," he drawls, as if reading my mind. I nod, looking up into his darker shade of grey eyes. I raise a brow and he rolls his eyes.

"I think it's a little obvious that I love you, since if it were the opposite we wouldn't be here but..." Eric smiles cockily at my frustrated expression before wiping it off with another kiss.

"I love you Tris." He murmurs before peppering me with another load of neck kisses. I moved back into him, tilting his chin up as I savor the coldness of his soft lips, his hands moving up my shirt, cupping my bra. I hiss at the amount of pressure he uses and I can feel his smug smirk against my jaw. I bring my hand up to rest at the back of his neck, forcing him to pull away slightly. I stare at his clouded with lust eyes as one eyebrow raises. I gulp slightly, my sense of Abnegation upbringing long forgotten as he smiles up at me, almost with a child-like grin.

"Eric," I whisper his name as I move to rest my forehead against his. He hums, grabbing my hips swiftly and nonchalantly flipping us over so that I am under him, legs open as he presses himself against me, still holding my eyes. There is an obvious hitch in my breath, to which his smirks arrogantly before moving down to prop himself on his elbows as he begins biting hungrily on the flesh of my collar bone and shoulder blade.

"You said my name?" He asks innocently against me, his hot breath sending a shudder throughout me. I jut his chin up with a finger, narrowing my eyes at his smug expression.

"I want you to fuck me _Eric_."

His eyes widen, his pupils dilating visibly as his lips part ever so slightly. I chuckle at his expression, rolling my head back so I can rest against the pillow as I wait for him to finally say something. From the corner of my eyes, I catch him narrowing his eyes as he squeezes my thigh mercilessly.

"I swear if you're playing with me again, I'm actually going to fuck you. But not too nicely." He growls impatiently, scowling marginally. I smile down at him kindly, shaking my head as I can't bite back the bark of laughter I felt once his widened eyes came back.

"I want it. And it's not like you're ever ready for something like this. I just know that I definitely want my first time to be with you. Somehow I don't even feel afraid to tell you that," I state, pursing my lips together under his calculated stare. Seconds? Minutes? Maybe even hours have we sat here just staring at each other, waiting for someone to do something. Finally, he jerks forward until his lips crash into mine. I give in, letting his dominance overpower me as I try and focus on keeping alive and not letting my heart burst in my chest. The thrill is too real. There is a sense of fear hidden within that, but that'll soon go away. Hopefully.

His hands tuck on my shirt and so I obediently lift my arms over my head to assist with him roughly pulling it over my head. The sound of my pulse is so loud I feel like he can hear it too. But he doesn't as he busies himself with my leggings. I shift my hips forward just as he grabs a fistful of fabric before pulling them off my body hurriedly. I gasp as the cold air kisses my flesh just as Eric begins grazing his teeth against my ear lobe. I shudder when he catches one of my piercings and his smirk tells me that it's payback for the time I jumped on his back and did the same.

He then pushes himself off me and moves back until he's resting on his forearms and his elbows, his eyes gradually lowering from my black bra to my hot pink lacy underwear. I blush heavily, cursing myself for my stupid choice of undergarment. But then again, it's not like I knew that this was going to happen.

He bites his lip as he studies my face, taking his time as if he's analyzing every single one of my features. But then that sneer came back and I knew what was going to happen next.

"Your turn now," he leers at me as I furrow my eyebrows questioningly. He stares at me, as if silently instructing me to take his clothes off.

"Oh." I mumble, finally catching on. I stagger forward until he grasps my wrists, shoving me towards him until I'm over his shoulder and he's pacing towards the bedroom. He then lays me, no, throws me on the bed before shifting beside me impatiently. I glance at him, pulling my fallen bra strap back up as I crawl towards him. He kicks his shoes and tugs his shirt off his body with a single, rapid move. He then growls at me and I move to sit on his thigh.

My fingers fumble as I unbuckle his belt as slowly as possible, enjoying every second of his restless groaning. He attempts to push my hands away so that he can do the work himself but I swat his hands as they reach up towards mine. He glowers at me, to which I laugh lightly, kissing his lips passionately as I reach for the zipper. As soon as it's undone, he moves me off his lap so that he can easily kick his pants off before pinning me back against the dark sheets of his bed. I let my eyes travel down his toned, solid chest, biting my lips as they reach down to his abs and V-line.

He looks at me, eyebrows furrowed. "Are you sure...?"

"Yes." I gasp out from under him, his face becoming more relieved as he begins kissing down my body just like that last two times. But the last two times ended abruptly as he reached down towards my underwear. His fingers slide against the fabric and a second later, there is the sound of them getting ripped ferociously. I glare at him, to which he only smirks before his fingers meet my core. I gasp, shutting my eyes as I hold onto his bicep for dear life. I feel him shift over me until his hot breath is close to my bundle of nerves. I look down to meet his gaze as his tongue latches onto my flesh without a warning. I moan loudly, tucking on his hair as he continues pleasuring me far too slowly.

I feel pressure building up in my stomach as my breathy, sinful sighs of his name roll off my tongue. He doesn't stop like last time. In fact, he continues until I'm screaming and shuddering under him so much to the point where he has to clutch on my thighs roughly to keep me from moving too restlessly. I shut my eyes, attempting to calm my gasps for air as I feel his lips ghost over mine. I move up for more, forgetting that I need air in this very moment. I groan when he presses me back down on duvet before his fingers work their way up and down my waist and bra.

My eyes flutter open- and it takes me a moment to see through the dark blotches at the corner of my eyesight- for Eric is now successfully holding my bra in his hand, smirking playfully down at me. I try and cover my exposed chest but he's too quick as one of his forearms pin both of my arms above my head again and the other one moves to caress my breasts in a very Eric way. I hiss and wriggle under him, sighing as I catch his stare linger towards my face every once in a while.

When he's finally satisfied with the amount of times I mewl under him, he rolls off my and slumps down on the bed, side-smiling when I punch his arm, huffing irritably. He shuts his eyes, sighing deeply as he begins rubbing circles against the small of my back. I eye his body until they land back to his tight, black boxers. My fingers skim over the fabric until he catches my wrist, moving back on top of me speedily.

He nips on my neck and earlobe, breathing the words in my ear. "Save this for another time. Now it's all about you. I'm gonna make you feel so good you're going to forget how to say anything except my name."

He begins shoving his boxers off, not breaking eye contact and growling hungrily when I bite my lip nervously. I glance downwards once, and that's enough for me to gulp loudly and widen my eyes at him. I hear the sound of his fabric hit the floorboard before Eric leers at me seductively. He grabs me by the thighs and yanks me towards him, his hips moving towards me as he lowers himself onto me. His forehead rests against mine just as I feel a different kind of pressure happening against my opening. He stares at me longingly through slightly squinted eyes.

He clenches his jawline tightly before kissing me softly. "Are you su..."

"Yes." I murmur against his lips, cherishing their sweetness.

He frowns. "Tris, I don't do gentle. So it's going to hurt. But the quicker we pass this phase, the faster we get to the good stuff. Alright?" I nod, bringing my arms around him as my fingernails dig into his shoulders. His muscles ripple under my touch as he moves until pain cripples through my lower part of my body. I squeak, gritting my teeth as the pain becomes more and more intense. I rake my fingernails through his flesh, earning a grunt from him as he lets his head fall onto my shoulder. I feel my eyes water as I try and focus on anything but the pain, but soon after, it slowly transforms into a more intense version of Eric's lips down there. He spits my name out at me as if it were the worst insult in the world.

"Fuck, you're tight." His words come out as a throaty growl and I finally begin fully enjoying myself. Unintentionally, I begin urging him to go faster and deeper as I wrap my legs around his waist. He complies without a fight- something that would once again potentially cause people to enter a state of confusion. As his thrusts become rougher, faster and more violent, I find my palm wrapped around his neck as I gradually climb my way up to the top.

"Come on, Tris," he snarls and seconds later I scream as though I am being thrown over a high cliff. My toes curl painfully as I arch my body into his, gritting my teeth as his moves become lazier and slower. Moments after my feeling of bliss, he shudders above me before slumping onto me, our pants mixing together.

"I love you." Eric puffs out quietly and I mumble something out, but it comes out as gibberish. He chuckles, his chest still moving up and down quickly. I rub my eyes and Eric simultaneously gets off the bed to retrieve a blanket which soon goes over me and him. He also brings me one of his shirts. Eric then pulls my limp body towards the pillows and I cuddle up closer to him. I am still extremely dazed but at the same time I feel like a small child on a sugar-rush. He tucks me in between him as kisses my forehead sensually.

"You'll be feeling quite sore these couple of days. It's fine though because you don't have training and whatnot," he snickers and I squint my eyes up at him. He pecks my nose, moving to my lips, brushing against them and moving away when I try to go in for more.

"Whatever, it's not like I wanted kisses." I retort, turning my back towards him as I budge away slightly. He laughs and I melt away when he begins trailing his fingers on my back. I then feel his mouth latch onto my shoulder and I groan tiredly. I have no power within me to shove him away, especially since they all left my body, leaving me with nothing but fatigue. His hand finds my waist and he brings me back to him, until I'm flush against his chest. I wrap my own arm around his own waist and sigh at his pleasant body heat.

"What's going to happen after the Final Test?" I murmur as he moves downwards so that he can be on my eye-level.

He purses his lips together. "According to your ranks, you'll be provided with a choice of job opportunities. Have you thought about what you might want to work as after Initiation."

I shrug, yawning sleepily. "Not really no. I tend to think about you most of the time. I meant to say...what's going to happen with...us?"

I expect him to stiffen, but the only gesture to prove to me that he heard my question is how his grip on my waist tightens possessively. "You answered your own question. We're gonna be _us_. Me and you. Fuck everyone else."

"So what am I to you?" I ask drowsily.

 _I_ _swear whenever I'm tired, my Candor wakes up and verbal filters are non-existent._

"What do you mean what are you to me? You're mine," he replies gruffly and I shake my head no. He raises his pierced eyebrow and I push away the messy strands of hair that have fallen in front of his eyes.

"If you want to have a label, then you're my girlfriend." I grin, kissing his lips cheekily.

I stop and raise my eyebrows. "Since when? You've technically never asked me." Eric rolls his eyes, rubbing his nose against mine.

"Since the day you decided the Faction of the Brave was your Faction. That's the day you sealed this deal." I pause, opening my mouth before grinning up at him. His eyes are slightly red and there's dark circles under his eyes so I can definitely tell that he is tired. I press myself against his chest, humming quietly. His breathing becomes slower and deeper and once I look up at him; my heart melts when I stare at his relaxed features during his moments of deep slumber. He doesn't look threatening and he isn't wearing his infamous glare and I feel like I'm gazing up at a young, nineteen year old boy who successfully managed to rip my heart out of my chest. His lips are parted allowing the soft grunts he gives out every now and then to come out.

That last thing I remember was that I was still staring at his handsome, sleepy face.

* * *

I wake up to a sharp pain in my gut.

 _Or so I thought._

Eric is laying on his back with an arm over his face, the other under me- still sleeping soundly. Looking at the alarm clock groggily, I realize that it's ten thirty in the morning and that I still have enough time to go back to bed and then get ready later on for my fear landscape practice at three in the afternoon.

I hiss, clutching my stomach, only to realize that it's lower than my stomach. I attempt to stand out of bed hastily but another jolt of pain shoots through me; but this time it's even lower and it spreads all across my pelvis, my muscles and my thighs. Biting my lip, I try and move out slower, wincing every now and then if the pain becomes too much. I stop and smile when I remember why I'm in such pain.

 _My first time with Eric._

My heart is racing in my chest as I hobble out of bed, swaying my hips a little to the side to prevent any friction of movement from happening between my legs because I definitely am not ready to cry because of pain.

After finishing my business on the toilet, I stop and widen my eyes when I see smears of blood in between my thighs. My cheeks begin burning as I think of when I'm due to get my period. _It's too early!_ I quickly wash my hands and exit the bathroom as quickly as I can in my current state- which meant that I need to clutch on nearly everything for support as I flinch and wince at every step I take. Lucky for me though, this bathroom is connected to the bedroom, so it didn't take long.

A few steps away from entering my haven decorated with the pale bottom sheet, I stop dead in my tracks as I glare at the dark blotch of blood decorating the specific spot I was sleeping in. Cursing under my breath, I tentatively towards it, my brain exploding as I attempt to think of a good way to clean this up. I curse out loud and sprint onto the bed when I catch Eric shifting as he slowly wakes up from his sleep. I bite my tongue to prevent a cry of pain emerge from me as a result of my quick reaction, which made me feel like I just got my pelvis ripped out of me. Back straightened; I sit on the spot of the mark on the bed; smiling nervously when I meet Eric's eyes through a half-hooded stare.

"Hi Eric," I manage to mumble out, softening up when he drops his hand on my waist.

"Morning Tris." He yawns, cupping his hand over his mouth before rolling closer to me, face buried in my pillow as his side brushes against my crouched up knees.

"How are you feeling?" His question is muffled against the pillow and I answer too too quickly for a normal response.

"Fine!" My voice is too loud and he moves around to stare at me with narrowed eyes.

"You sure you're fine? You don't sound fine," he counters suspiciously and I suck up a breath between my teeth.

"No...I mean yes! Nothing's wrong with me Eric. Stop pressuring me, jeez." His eyes widen when a tear falls down my cheek. He reaches out and wipes it with his thumb before caressing my face slowly.

"What's wrong?" Even though he appears to be very doubtful and he's making it really obvious that he's trying to read me, I can swear that there's a glint of worry behind his partially stoic expression.

"I'm good. I just have a weird way of showing my happiness," I lie, averting my gaze from his intimidating one. He snorts, trying to pull me lower for a kiss.

"No!" I yelp, moving back so quickly I nearly lose my balance and topple off the bed. I think the fact that he would see the blood is more mortifying than me falling in front of him. I've done it countless of times. My clumsiness is nothing new to either of us. He growls and I squeak when he moves to grab both of my hips and pull me into a straddling position. The feeling of his solid form against my crotch hurts like a bitch, and I make sure that he understands it fully.

"Fuck Eric it hurts!" I shout, holding my lower region as I try and fall back onto my crime scene. He winces at the fact that he forgot how much pain I'm in, but that doesn't stop him from holding me back onto himself. Luckily, I manage to kick some of the top sheets to cover the blood- which really isn't that big of a deal, but to bleed after sex with Eric makes me want to just burn up into flames.

"Tell me what the hell is going on!" He raises his voice and I can hear the little bit of worry laced in his tone. I shake my head stubbornly before shrieking out a "NO!" as soon as he grabs the sheet to reveal the stain I would going to die to protect against his eyes. His eyes widen slightly as his lips part before he shakes his head and barks out a laugh. I bury my face in the crook of his neck, squirming against his attempts to pull me back so we can talk.

"I didn't know it would come early I'm so sorry. I'll wash the sheets don't worry." Immediately he stiffens a little before grabbing me and placing me in between his legs as gently as he can. He stares at me for a long moment before moving in to push a curl behind my ear.

"Baby, it isn't your...period that made you bleed." I tilt my ashen head to the side before he elaborates. "It was me." I gape, thinking of a logical way in which Eric could have made me bleed without me feeling it. I must have thought out loud again because he chuckles before kissing my softly.

"You've uh, never had this sort of conversation with your mother? Or anyone?" He asks, frowning. I shake my head no. In Abnegation, we weren't graphically taught about the acts of sex. Sex in the faction of the Selfless can only be performed after marriage and only with the goal of creating an offspring. Here in Dauntless, sex was a typical hobby, just like exercising. He huffs loudly, blowing out air slowly.

"Alright well...you see...uh, when people have sex...I mean when it's a woman's first time...the hymen breaks usually and sometimes there's blood because of the break. It's perfectly normal Tris."

"It's not! Besides, it's so embarrassing!" I wail, still processing the information. He grins, pulling me in for another passionate and deep kiss. "Even if this wasn't normal and even if this is embarrassing to you, it's not going to change anything. I've been inside you Tris- I doubt a little blood is something so weird and taboo." Eric bites my bottom lip until I grant his tongue access to my mouth and during his time exploring, his hand finds a soothing trail down my back and on my ass.

"Is it bad that I want more of you?" I bite my lip, swaying my hips as I try and find a more comfortable position to sit in. He smirks and the fact that he pursed his lips as soon as he opened them to say something state how hard it is for him to keep his cocky remarks to himself.

"As much as I want to flip us over and go for round two- you can barely walk Tris. Give it a day or two with a limit on the movement and then you can pop by here anytime." He winks at me as I smack his arm playfully- gasping when I remember that he's my boyfriend.

Eric.

 _My_ boyfriend.

No one else's.

It's such a strange thought, I can sit here and think about it for great and powerful Dauntless leader has chosen a Stiff over every other girl he can have in the compound.

The lion had hopelessly fallen in love with the lamb.

"You're my boyfriend," I say out loud, testing the words- pleased at the twist in my gut. He guffaws, biting his lip before pressing them against mine.

"And you're _my_ girlfriend. _Mine_ and only mine." He emphasizes the words 'my' and 'mine'. I moan when he begins kissing down my neck, switching from nibbles to bites on my collarbone- his tongue soothing the pressure.

"Show me how yours I am then," I challenge, my mind back to autopilot. He groans, quietly cursing the pain.

"I'm doing this for you. I have no problem fucking you raw, it's you who has to walk around the compound painfully. And you've already had enough last night for your first time." I sigh, nodding my head, know he's right. Always damn right.

I maneuver over him until I'm back on my feet before walking around the bed to inspect the blood. Ushering him off and throwing the pillows off the bed; he helps me pull the sheet off the bed like the gentleman he is. I then proceeded to carefully make my way out of the bedroom so that I can put the sheets in the washing- only to be stopped by the young leader who stubbornly assured me that he is "perfectly capable with washing his own sheets." We get into another small argument about who gets to do it and soon after I find myself being carried to the bathroom before he throws a pair of loose pants and one of my newly-washed tops that have been lying in a small part of his dresser.

When I exit the steam-filled bathroom, I am greeted with pancakes, coffee and a side of pain-killer pills.

* * *

"So what the hell is wrong with Jeanine? Why is she so keen on hunting and experimenting on...Divergents?" I ask timidly as I lay cuddled up on Eric as we lay on his couch.

He shrugs, staring at me curiously. "I have no clue. I have learnt not to question my orders and my orders are to report and capture them so they can be sent to Jeanine's hands."

"Do they die?" I wonder out loud, sighing as Eric runs a hand over my scalp. "No one is safe if they don't live up to the expectations of Jeanine. I'm just lucky because she likes me."

"Yeah," I snort. "She damn right likes you. A little too much in my opinion."

"Aw," he sneers, a dark glint in his eyes. "Is my girl jealous? I don't blame her, she's got one special kind of boyfriend. Untouchable to others though, don't you worry." He smirks as I roll my eyes. I try asking more questions but he wavers them all away- labeling it all under Jeanine's many different ways to ruin his day.

"Wait Eric." I exhale out quickly, grabbing his forearm and squeezing it tightly. He frowns, sitting us up slightly.

"Did you use protection yesterday?" I whisper, feeling myself tremble against his tense figure. He clenches his jaw tightly, shutting his eyes. "No. I assumed you agreed on taking the pill when you came to Dauntless."

"I uh, I'm not on the pill."

I think back to the time I politely declined any forms of birth control. _On the first day here, the few girls were taken to the Infirmary where we were given the choice of either starting birth control or just taking the risk and not being protected. Most of us took the pill, including Christina...except for me. I had in no way thought that anyone would come near to a Stiff, so why take something that I deemed as unnecessary despite the nurses urging us all to just do it._

He nods tightly, his eyes still closed as he runs a hand through his messy hair. "Alright well, you should pass by the Infirmary to start your birth control. Take someone with you...Melody?" He says her name through gritted teeth, finally looking at me. I nod and glance at the time on the wall.

12:45 pm

 _Could time really pass by so quickly when I'm with Eric?_

He helps me up- although the painkillers managed to tame the pain to a manageable degree. I saunter towards the exit, pouting to myself because I really don't want to leave Eric. He asks if I still have my key-card to his apartment and I tap on the bra that was on the floor yesterday night. He smirks, pulling me into a long, breath-taking kiss.

"Bye Tris." I kiss him again, running a hand through his to-be-groomed hair.

"See you later." And with that, we part ways as he closes the door and I continue down the hallway.

* * *

 **A/N**

 **Thank you so much for the growing support!**

 **Kisses,**

 **N**


	29. Six

"Well aren't you glowing," Mel smirks as she hooks her arm through mine as we continue our way down the corridors of the Dauntless headquarters. She's a fast walker and given my difficult situation with keeping up her pace, I try to get her to slow down; catching her send me a strange look.

"I was actually looking for you." I continue smiling ahead of me, but from my peripheral point of view, I know that she is frowning at me. Suddenly, she picks up her pace- making me wince- and leads me towards the net- where it all began. She jumps up on it effortlessly, dragging herself back to the edge before bringing me up with her. I lay on my back, trying hard not to fly off the net when she begins bouncing.

"So...what...did you want...to tell...me?" She asks as she springs up and down- waving her hands in the air. I roll around, careful not to end up under her. I clear my throat and shove my hair behind my ears, staring up at her seriously. Melody gets the message, nods and slows down before plopping down beside me.

"I don't know how to explain it," I mumble, blushing as I try to think of a way to just tell her all about it.

Melody gasps wildly, cupping her hand over her mouth- a dark flame waking up in her eyes. "Oh my god, you haven't done it already have you?" I stare at her in awe, my lips parted as I try to form a sentence but all that comes out is a strangled groan. She yells, pumping her fists in the air before moving back to lay on the net. She begins laughing as she puts her arm over her eyes, her body shaking with excitement. When she's finally done, she sits up and grins at me- her eyes filled with tears.

"I'm actually crying dude, I'm so happy for you," she chuckles, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand. "Sorry, I get excited for the weirdest of things. So how did it go? Is that why you're so happy? Did it hurt? Is that why you're walking so weirdly?" I shake my head, rolling my neck backwards as I stare up at the sky.

"It went so well. I didn't know what to expect, but it was beyond anything I had imagined. Yeah, I think that's why I'm so happy haha, and yeah it did hurt like a bitch in the beginning. My walking has actually improved compared to my way of walking in the morning, thank you very much."

She snorts, cocking her eyebrows up. "I know the feeling man. I remember my first time with Four. Don't tell anyone I told you this, yeah?" I nod, smiling. "Alright so, he too defected from Stiff-land. Shit, sorry, Abnegation. But surprisingly he was doing well for our first time together. I was his first and I mean I guess you could say he was mine too."

I guffaw, shaking my head. "What do you mean you 'guess you could say he's yours too'?" She blushes. "I did some shit for a dare a long time ago with some guy who was in Four and Eric's initiation class. I used to love chilling with them and I was also trying to get close with Four so I decided that it would be a good idea to join their little Candor or Dauntless game after training one day. I thought that I would be able to talk to Four and tell him about my feelings but then someone dared me and the guy to go to a closet and...yanno. Long story short, Four got reallllly mad and jealous and then soon after we had sex together." She grins at the memory. "In our minds we weren't going fast or anything. It just happened."

"I don't know how it happened yesterday. I just went over to his house and...oh yeah." I bite back my remark about my divergence and continue talking about something I trust Mel wouldn't go telling everyone. "I told him I loved him. He said it too..." Her face contorts into a silent gasp as she clutches her heart mockingly.

"I can't believe it. That is the cutest thing in the world. Sex after sharing your feelings. I would never have imagined that Eric would be a guy who would share his feelings with someone. Or even have feelings...tell me more! What are you now?" She bites her lip through a smirk as I tilt my head to the side.

"I think we're...no we _are_ together. It's official, between us at least until Initiation finishes."

Mel nods excitedly. "Same. You'll think I'm a bitch, but a little after Will's death, Four was just like fuck it and asked me to be his girlfriend. I just spent too much time sulking around and he always makes me feel so much better about myself."

"That's alright, if he makes you happy then there's no reason for you to feel guilty about it." She sighs before huffing slightly.

My stomach turns. I've completely forgotten to tell her why I've tried looking for her. "Mel?" She hums in response, keeping her eyes towards the sky. I clear my throat before continuing.

"We uh, we forgot to use protection." Her eyes widen and she finally trains them on me. Biting her lip, she furrows her brows before tilting her head slightly. "Are you on the pill at least?" I shake my head no. "When I mean that we didn't use protection, I mean I'm not on the pill and he didn't use anything. It was actually Eric's idea to look for you so that you can help me out with the pill." She frowns and begins biting on her lip ring.

"Of coarse he'll tell you to find me." She snorts and I send her a confused look. "Eric knows about me and Four. He caught us in here two days ago. It was so awkward. So it'll make sense if he sends you to me since I already know about you guys and you already know about us, therefore it is a way of safeguarding the privacy of your relationship...and ours." She rolls her eyes. "Honestly, Eric freaks the fuck out of me somethings. It's like he knows everything."

"I'm pretty sure he does. Sometimes I think he's dangerously smart," I chuckle. We stay like that on the net for a bit longer until Melody decides to heave herself up without telling me, forcing me to nearly collide into her.

When we're both on solid ground, we hurry towards the Infirmary. I gradually get used to the pain between my legs and soon after, I manage to walk more or less like a normal person. As soon as we enter the hospital area, I internally pray that Sara isn't there.

Thank Dauntless, she isn't. Instead, we are assisted by the only male nurse in the compound, Dean. Although it is uncomfortable telling him why exactly I'm here- he takes it well and his smirk makes me feel so much better.

"Are you sexually active?" He looks up from the clipboard in his hands and I find myself burning under his stare. Exchanging glances with Melody, I only ever whimper out a 'yes' when she nods. He clicks his pen and continues writing down whatever it is he's writing.

"Mhm alright Tris. Here you go." He hands me a little pill bottle with a smile, which I return generously.

"Thank you." He winks before saying goodbye and walking off. Melody arches an eyebrow upwards and all I can do is shake my head.

"Wanna go for lunch before practice?" She reads my mind so of coarse I agree.

On the way to the Cafeteria, we pass Eric and Max. The elder leader is busy rambling on and the youngest leader has his hands clasped behind his back and a scowl on his face as he listens. As we inch closer; Max slowly begins concluding his monologue and instead just sends us both a warm smile- not quite reaching his eyes. Eric's face visibly softens, but if it were anyone else except me, they would still think that he's glowering.

"Afternoon ladies, big day coming up eh?" He laughs and I feel like we are both pressured that we have to join in quietly. Max glances down at me for a moment, catching me stare at his fellow leader with parted lips- his eyes darkening just a bit and his lips curling up in amusement.

"That's right!" Melody chirps in next to me, bouncing on her heels nonchalantly as she gazes at Max. He bobs his head before his expression turns into a more stoic one.

"Well, let's hope that you do well. We've been thinking of opening up the Leadership program this year." He exchanges glances with Eric, who confirms by nodding once, his eyes trained on the pill bottle I'm squeezing tightly in my hand.

"We'll definitely try our best! Don't you worry! It ain't that easy to get rid of us!" Melody snickers, making Max breaking into another proud smile and a bemused Eric to roll his eyes.

"Alright girls. Off you go to wherever you're going." We say our goodbyes and a hot, static feeling shoots through me when Eric brushes past me. I sigh before getting pulled by my friend.

* * *

"I have news!" Marlene exclaims as she slams her tray on our table before kissing Mel's cheek and mine. We had ended up entering that Cafeteria in the busiest time of the day- lunch hour- and there are people yelling and laughing everywhere. I scoot closer so that I can hear her story-telling better. She sighs dreamily, snapping her head towards the food line, where it is made visible that she is staring at Uriah; who is helping himself with his usual dessert as he too is laughing at something Peter is telling him from behind.

"So with all this uneasiness between us all, because of the fear landscapes fucking us all up, we've actually managed to spend more time by ourselves yeah?" We nod, exchanging a knowing look with the smirking Melody. "Ah okay, so me and Uriah...we've actually found comfort in the time spent by ourselves. Just us." She exhales sharply through her nose, as if we've made her spit out her darkest secret.

"So what are you saying, you're together now or something?" Melody reads my mind before sipping on her soda. Marlene opens her mouth to answer, but is interrupted by the sound of Lynn's tray following her own suit. She looks pissed, and pissed Lynn is never a good Lynn to be around. She slumps down opposite Marlene and beside Melody, pulling out her knife and aimlessly stabbing the table through narrowed eyes. Her jaw is tightly clenched and I sit back in fear that it'll break in her mouth. But I am too afraid to say something so I just look down at my yogurt salad.

"Yeah _Mar_ ," Lynn sneers, ignoring her cousin's attempt to elbow her. "What _are_ you with Uriah?" They both have a stare-down and Lynn's knuckles turn white with the force she uses to squeeze her dagger. Marlene snorts, leaning in closer.

"Me and Uriah _are_ together. Boyfriend and girlfriend. You're happy for me though, right _Lynn_?"

Lynn grits her teeth and for a moment I feel like she's going to reach over and stab Marlene. Instead, she just nods tightly before shoving her tray filled with nothing off the table and stomping off. We all let out a loud sigh of relief.

"What's gotten into her?" Marlene glowers, returning her attention back to the soup in front of her. I shrug, focusing my chewing on the inside of my cheek instead of my food.

This past week filled with silent torment amongst us, I've spent a good amount of time getting to know Lynn properly. And although our physical appearance juxtaposes each other, we have a lot in common. We are both volatile when it comes to situations where we have no control over. We both fear the unknown...and spiders. The difference is that people don't doubt her strength because of her Dauntless upbringing and because of her competitive nature and also because of the fact that she's known for challenging full-fledged members in fights, even way before her Choosing day. However one thing that she accidentally blurted out in our times of sulking on the rooftop late at night when neither of us could sleep was her feelings for Marlene. They've been inseparable since the day they were all born- including Uriah. In their sixteen years of friendship, a new kind of unwanted feeling sparked up within Lynn for the blonde girl. A feeling she deep down knows Marlene could possibly never return. Her expression was stoic when she was opening up to me- even in her most vulnerable state she kept her guard up- even though she knows she is talking to me only. But it's different when deep down you know that you can't have that person compared to when they actually confirm your thought.

My trail of thought is broken by Uriah who is hovering over me, squeezing my shoulder gently as he calls out my name. I straighten my back and blink a few times before training my eyes into the direction of where his index finger is pointing. The large cafeteria clock.

 _2:55 pm._

My eyes widen in shock and I quickly slide out of my seat before bidding everyone who still have time before their practice a farewell. I follow Uriah towards the Fear Landscape room, nearly falling and dying in front of the elevator. It's almost Spring and so my confusion with the weather and what I'm supposed to be wearing varies depending on which area of the compound I am. Most of Dauntless is cold and always kept air-conditioned (except for the snow and rainy winter days) but the higher we go, the more humid it is around us, therefore I am almost always stuck in a limbo between having to wear my heavy jacket with me and having to carry it around whenever I don't need it.

The massive, metal doors open with a loud _ding_ and we continue hurrying towards the landscape practice room- where Eric is standing in front of the door with an angry scowl on his face and crossed arms. Uriah and I exchange looks before lowering our heads and shuffling towards him. Even though Uriah is nearly as tall as Eric, he doesn't match up to his masculinity and intimidation level. Uriah is precious- it's either you love his sense of excitement and overly enthusiastic self or you don't. With Eric; his glowering and authoritative demeanor gives one no choice but to fear him. There is no second choice.

Strangely enough except with me. He chose to partially lower that wall of intimidation down, although his glower is currently directed to me too; but I do understand why now.

 _I am two minutes late._

Wordlessly, he turns to his heel and stalks back out of the waiting room. I follow sheepishly, smiling when Uriah gives me the thumbs up. I trot inside the room and only let go of the breath I'm holding in when the door is shut loudly behind me. Eric's hand finds my waist and he uses it as an anchor to pull be back towards him. I twirl gracelessly into him, standing on my tip toes to kiss him soundly until we're both out of breath.

"How are you feeling?" He asks me, taking my hand and walking us towards the reclining chair. I sit in it, moving around a bit to make myself as comfortable as this chair could possibly be.

"I'm alright. I got the pill." I watch as he busies himself with the syringe in his hands and I stare at how he nods in approval without looking up at me.

He swings the chair to face me, palms pressing on my chest to lower me back onto the chair. His eyes darken slightly as he bitterly says, "We're not going to be able to have fun tonight. I've got reports to..."

"Jeanine's reports," I blurt out, instantly regretting opening my mouth as soon as it slipped out of my mouth. He squints his eyes at me, pursing his lips before grunting in agreement. "If anything happens though, come to me." My stomach drops pleasantly and I sigh as he picks on the loose strands laying and covering my neck. Eric pulls on them gently before moving them off and injecting me quickly...

* * *

"Alright Six, calm down." Eric greets me back coolly as soon as I'm brought back from my hell. Even after so many practices, I still get the chills and my heart still pumps like crazy. And the nickname is nothing new. Even during the week where we were distant with each other, he would greet me back with the same sentence.

 _"Alright Six, calm down."_

I don't think he realizes that it's the exact same phrasing every single time, but I realize of coarse. It was also probably one of the only times in which he would actually talk to me and even then his voice laced with darkness and mystery would get me staring at him dreamily.

"It seems," he continues as he types away on the computer as he arches his eyebrows up. "Like you're going to have to live with these six fears after all. Death; powerlessness; drowning; getting kidnapped; having to kill someone you love and...spiders?" He glances back at me, as if he's going to laugh at the fact that I'm afraid of spiders. I roll my eyes at him and smack his arm lightly. He swiftly grabs me and shoves me into him me so that I am perched upon his thigh. I press my lips against his, tackling the urge to easily give into his dominance without a fight- which is usually the case. His tongue explores every inch of my mouth that it could reach and the fact that I couldn't do the same to him was because I needed air.

"Quick question," I say against the tattooed blocks on his neck. He hums for me to continue as he mindlessly tucks on my hair.

"Why in my fear of having to kill someone you love it's a different person every single time? I've had my brother and my father once and the rest of the times it's my mother. Why does it alter?" Eric sighs as his pull on my hair becomes tighter, making me wince and use my arms around his neck to squeeze him cautiously. He smirks before pausing to think about the questions.

"I'm guessing it's because you obviously don't love just one person. Logically, when the fear is a highly emotional one- like this one- it can trigger other feelings like love or sympathy...whatever the other feeling is. If the person in the fear begins feeling anything else but fear- the serum loses its effect, which will potentially cause the individual to realize that it isn't real. So maybe because you're so connected to your family; the serum keeps on switching up the family member just because it doesn't want you to realize that you're under a trance. But you already do...so it doesn't really work on you." He rolls his eyes before pressing his head on my chest, pulling me closer.

"But why aren't you in there ever then?" He hesitates for a moment before finally looking up at me. "I don't know. It's all chances. Let's just hope I don't pop in on the day of the Final test. Just to save a few extra explanations." He winks and I can't help but giggle. Eric reluctantly lets me go and I hop off his lap, pouting. He sighs, rubbing the side of his face before shutting his eyes as he braces himself for the next round of fear shows he has to go through.

"Call Uriah in for me, will you? " I hum and begin walking out. But I end up running back to Eric and kissing him once more before doing as I was told. Uriah passes me- wriggling his eyebrows. I walk away, laughing at Uriah's boisterous voice echoing through the hallways as he greets Eric excitedly.

* * *

I spend the rest of the afternoon and evening in the training room with Peter.

The rest decided they weren't up for sparring after going through their fears, so they agreed to sulk around the Pit until curfew hour. But I want to use my time working on my muscles and playing around with the knives; and Peter was more than happy to keep me company.

"So how comes you have only six fears?" He breaks the silence as we lie beside each other; breathless and sweaty after spending a few hours fighting in the arena. I shrug, rolling to my side. In the beginning, I could barely circle around the arena without wincing- but when the adrenaline kicked in- I forgot all about my difficulty with walking and moving around today.

"I don't know. How comes you have thirteen fears?" I counter. He sends me a look before glancing up at the ceiling. "It's just strange, you know? I overheard some members talking about this and they all said that it's really weird and rare to have someone with only a handful of fears. Apparently your timing is remarkable, I just wanted to hear it from you." I sense the edge of jealousy laced within his words, but I brush it off quickly. _It isn't something that I considered special. After all, I suffer as much as they do._

"Six minutes. One for each fear- but it's not like it feels like I'm in there for six minutes. I can swear to you that it feels like I've been stuck in my head for longer," I declare, watching as he squints his eyes slightly, still staring up at the ceiling.

"But that doesn't make sense. How can you send _one_ minute only in a fear..."

"Why is it so hard for you to believe me? Is it that difficult for you to understand that I have less fears than the norm? It isn't such a big deal, and I honestly expected this sort of interrogation from people who aren't close to me," I snarl out, moving away from him. He looks at me, gnawing on his bottom lip as he brushes the hair stuck to his forehead.

"I'm sorry Tris. I didn't mean it like that." I snort, beginning to stand up. "Yeah yeah whatever. No one ever means it but you all say shit like this anyway." I jerk back around to glare at him as he begins standing up too. "You have no idea how shitty it is to be underestimated over and over and _over_ again, just because of your faction of origin. After all, one of the first things you ever said to me was that I don't belong here." I try to keep my cool, but with every second passing, anger bubbles within me, making my voice louder. He stares at me guiltily before averting his gaze downwards.

"Thanks for the sparring Peter." I turn to my heels and begin ambling out of the training room until he calls my name. Swiftly, I twist back to face his now standing posture as he gestures towards the table with the knives. "Let's at least throw some knives. You'll cool off. I promise I didn't mean it with the intent of hurting you or overestimating you. In my eyes, you're one of the strongest people who definitely deserve to become Dauntless members." I stare at him before nodding and following him back to the table silently.

He hands me my daggers before his smirk returns to his face. "Alright, whoever manages to score the bulls-eye the most- the loser has to bring them food and a drink back here after we're done. Deal?"

Returning the smirk, I forcefully fling my weapon until it hits the red dot in the middle. He follows my suit and this continues for another hour or so.

In the end, I end up on the floor of the arena- stretching as I wait for my sandwich and orange juice.

* * *

That night is another restless night filled with nightmares and coldness. I miss Eric, and I miss his warmth around me when I sleep next to him. I also don't want to sound spoilt, but coming from a former Abnegation member- the dormitory cots are so uncomfortable.

I stir around, the paper-thin sheet sticking to my body because it's too damn humid in the room. Scratch out the fact that I have been complaining about the coldness of the compound. Our sleeping compartment is practically a desert, because the air conditioning system broke and no one has bothered to come down to fix it. I usually am never really bothered by the heat, but my head is rolling with a painfully deranged sequence of thoughts about the Final Test. According to the angrily blinking red numbers of the digital watch beside Peter's cot- it's past twelve, which means it's already Thursday...and on Friday...it's the Final Test sitting. I'm so close...yet so far away from reaching my goal of finally being a full-fledged member. _And Eric oh._

I shove the sheet off of me and hurry to open my box filled with the little belongings I have at the end of my bed. Blindly, I rummage around until I sigh when I feel the key-card in my palm. Tying my combat boots hurriedly and not even bothering to put pants on since I sleep in Eric's shirt and it ends close to my knee, I tiptoe outside and towards Apartment 104. I fight against taking the elevator since there's cameras all around so instead I decide to talk the neglected hundred of flights of stairs.

Not long after- or long after- I've forgotten what time is, but I finally am in front of his bistered front door. I slide the key-card through the slot and chew on my bottom lip until the small dot blinks green. I curse loudly when the familiar creaking sound of his opening door greets me as I push my way into Eric's chilled, dark heaven. I lock the door behind me and instinctively throw my shoes off by the doorstep- just like in my Abnegation times. I make my way through the eerily quiet apartment until I am in the master bedroom. My heart swells as I gaze down at the vulnerable, sleeping figure of the most feared man in Dauntless. He looks painfully young when he sleeps...almost peaceful. _Almost_. He makes adorable noises and grunts as he moves slightly, until he squints one eye open. He sighs, smirking as he rubs his eyes slightly, before reaching out for me. I smile before making my way back to him. I place my key-card on the nightstand before turning back to meet his lethargic gaze.

"Hi Tris," he manages to slur out, his voice thick and deep with sleep. I bring my face close to his, rubbing our noses together before kissing him soundly.

"I can't sleep Eric. I've been thinking about the Final Tes..." His lips shut me up and I play on under his kiss.

Eric pulls away only when we're both breathing ruggedly. "No more of that. We'll talk about this tomorrow. Today was your last practice since Max always says that the day before the exam should be spent relaxing and whatnot. Just sleep." I stir so that my back is facing him and Eric drapes his heavily muscled calf over my leg as he moves his arm around my waist- pulling me closer. I feel his breath against my neck as he buries his face in my hair; sighing pleasantly.

"Goodnight Eric," I mumble sleepily, but I already know that he's fallen asleep.

* * *

"You're going too fast Six." He rumbles angrily as I wake up once again from the fear. This is the fourth time he has injected me with the serum and every single time he tells me to "control my breathing rate and just fight like a Dauntless against the fear instead of tricking the serum". But after the third time, he summarized it by continuously scowling at me as I repeat his words until they become my mantra.

"What about you," I shoot back, crossing my arms over my chest as he refills the syringe. He grimaces, shutting his eyes for a split second and locking his jawline tightly. "What about me?" We stare at each other for a long moment until I finally break the silence. "I want to know about your fears. How many do you have? How long was your..." He waves his hand impatiently as he grits his teeth and I immediately stop talking.

"Nine fears," he says quietly, but I can hear the anger of his confession. I frown. "That's low too. How comes no one is talking about..."

"Because there was one person with an even lower count of fears," he raises his voice, glowering at me as if it's my fault. I pause until my mind finds the answer.

 _Four_.

I open my mouth but the death-glare he sends me persuades me to keep quiet for once. I run a hand through my hair, grimacing when a few hairs end up staying in my hand. Marlene had told me about how stress can result to your hair falling out- it was happening to her- and now it's happening to me.

"Lay back." Eric commands and I do as he says, staring at his exasperated features. He grabs a fistful of my hair and roughly moves it aside, ignoring how I wince in pain. He continues speaking as the needle pushes through my flesh. "C'mon Tris- all you have to do is take your time. Stop manipulating it. Find something, some sort of weapon to fight back against the fear. Like the spiders. Don't just let them crawl over you because you know they aren't real. Get to the fire," he continues, setting the syringe aside before stroking my cheek. I nod drowsily and once again, I am set in for another battle.

* * *

 **A/N**

 **Hiya!**

 **So this chapter was initially really long, but I decided to divide it into two parts so this is part 1 and the next part you will get it in the following days. Thank you for the continuous support.**

 **Lots of love X**


	30. Alleviation

"Perfect." I hear Eric's voice once I wake up. I rub my eyes and narrow them at him. There he is- in the same chair beside me- arms crossed and a proud smirk on his face. He reclines back, tilting his head slightly as he studies my features. I give him a short smile.

"How long?" I ask but just Eric continues staring at me intensely before sliding his chair closer to mine.

"Twelve minutes and fifty two seconds. That's perfect. Not too quick and not too slow. Well done Six." I grin at him, extending my arms out for him to reach and grab me. He follows my trail of thought and I once again find myself straddling him on the uncomfortable chair. His lips press against my neck and begin follow down a very familiar path. I roll my head back and my lips part as I run my hand through his hair.

"I can't wait...till I'm...done." I would've continued if my brain didn't go on auto-pilot as Eric continues pressing sensual kisses against my now bare shoulder-blade and collarbone. When he reaches the three ravens, I gasp and my grip on his hair becomes tighter, making him hiss against me.

"I would take this back to my apartment..." He drawls, grabbing my waist and crushing it. I try not to flinch, given the fact that I'm used to his not too gentle touches. I press my nose in his hair before taking in a long breath. "Then...do it," I sigh and his grip becomes even more achingly tight. He groans before purring the words against my skin.

"I have a couple of meetings I need to attend to with Max concerning the Final Test. I honestly hate this time of the year, especially this year," he sighs, going in for another kiss. I nod, biting the inside of my cheek. I only ever meet his eyes when he calls my name.

"You'll be fine. As much as I hate myself for saying it- I think it's for the best if you stayed in the dormitories tonight. I overheard some of the men working in the Control Room talking about a 'little girl walking around the compound with no pants'- but luckily something else caught their attention so they didn't follow her passage through to my apartment." He raises an eyebrow and I smile innocently, feeling a small blush creep up to my face.

"I believe that was me, yep."

Eric's lips brush mine.

Not innocently, like a tease but hot, fiery, passionate and demanding. I want to pull away before I lose myself and forget about everything else but I can't seem to…In this minty moment, my senses have been seduced and I can no longer think straight. "Tris" he whispers slowly, prolonging each letter as if to savor them. I smile, my heart fluttering at his voice as I clasp my hands on either side of his face. Never before has my name ever felt so wonderful a one, except when it's coming from his mouth, I think, as I lean in for another…

* * *

Today, it all ends. Initiation is over and I can finally breathe.

I shake and I feel like the nonexistent food in my stomach is going to find its way back out of me any minute now as I follow Uriah to the Fear Landscape. This is where we will meet the rest of the initiates, including the rest of our gang and where we will go through our fears. We break into a jog because we are already a little late but I blame Uriah since he insisted that I should wait for him to finish eating before our test. The Fear Landscape is located beyond the glass building above the Pit. It is a huge, dank space with graffitied walls and exposed pipes. The room is lit by a series of old-fashioned fluorescent tubes with plastic covers, which I find them cast a displeasing aura around us. 'Dauntless' is spray painted in red, artistic lettering on one of the concrete walls- for anyone who would've doubted that this is part of their headquarters. On one side of the room, there is a fairly large group of members behind a set of large screens set up for them to watch us go through our fears. Off to the other side, there is another large room, connected to the Fear Landscape and the only thing separating the two rooms is the thick wall of glass. From what I can see, the room contains screens for the Dauntless leaders to watch and monitor us.

I stand on my toes as I try and catch a glimpse of Eric in the room over the sea of taller bodies around me and I am pleased to say that I see him. He stands beside Max, looking more spiritless than ever- wearing his neat uniform which seems to be a darker shade of black compared to the ones he wears on an every day basis. He takes his signature posture; back impeccably straightened with his hands clasped behind him as he listens to whatever Max is telling him. There is another man beside them, who appears less threatening compared to his fellow leaders. He looks like he's middle-aged and wears a childish grin which instantly makes me believe that he is very likable. He has long, blond hair tied back in a ponytail and he is wearing the same clothes as well as has the same exact neck tattoo like Eric and Max. He catches me staring at him and instead of scowling or glaring; he sends me a toothy grin- something which surprisingly immediately calms my nerves down just a tiny bit. I return it before my attention is caught by a girl with radiant, bright pink hair wrapping her arms around his waist. She's really pretty and as he turns her around, I catch a glimpse of her face and clothing and I instantly know who she is.

 _Eden._

She is the only female in the Dauntless Leadership and although she looks harmless, I've heard that she can be quite the opposite. She seems like she's a couple of years younger than the leader with the ponytail and not as young as Eric. Unlike the men, she has no neck tattoo, which seems strange given her status. My heart begins beating quickly as the Dauntless leader pulls Eden in for a soft kiss, I promptly find myself wishing that that was Eric and I.

"C'mon Tris." Uriah calls me as Marlene begins pulling me towards the corner of the room, where we all have to wait and watch as each one of us go through our fear landscapes. I collapse beside Uriah, putting my head on his shoulder as I close my eyes and block out all the noise around me- from Marlene blubbering on about how we'll all do fine; to Melody and Lynn bickering about who's going to be faster today. I only open my eyes quickly when I hear that same clicking noise of heels against the dusty floor-boards.

Jeanine strides past us in a very fitted, deep-blue dress with another five men all wearing the same white coats and I can only believe that they are her top scientists. My trail of judgment also leads me to believe that they're here for a reason I most certainly don't want to believe is true.

 _Divergents_.

She jerks her head back to us and I find myself wince under her cool stare. She sends me a 'smile' to which I purse my lips and bent my head forwards. I watch as Max swings open the door to the Leadership glass room and firmly shakes Jeanine's hand. Their interaction is strange to watch. I note how Eric appears behind the elder leader, but doesn't go in for a handshake and just doesn't really acknowledge her existence.

After a few more minutes, Max gestures towards another set of screens to which Jeanine nods approvingly before continuing forward- her lackeys all trotting after her- all gripping their clipboards as they look around curiously. There is another girl beside the Erudite leader and she looks like such a fragile creature. Her hair is platinum blonde and her own fitted blue dress seems a bit baggy on her petite body. She has the exact same body structure as I did back when I was Abnegation. Jeanine tilts her head to the side and begins speaking to the girl; who starts taking notes and nodding every once in a while. When Jeanine steps away to go talk to another Erudite member; the girl's eyes skim through the initiate class until they fall onto me. I smile, in an attempt of not trying to appear freakish for getting caught staring curiously. She scrunches her nose and glares back at me; making me frown hard as I clench my jawline as visibly and forcefully as I can. Before I can catch her response, Four appears out of nowhere in front of us.

"Initiates. This is it. After today, those of you who will stay are no longer initiates. I hope you've absorbed every single advice I have given you and now is the time to really put yourself out there. Make me proud. Make _yourselves_ proud." His instructor voice sends chills down my spine, but at the same time I find myself whooping loudly, along with Uriah and the rest of the class.

Uriah looks down at me and squeezes my hand. "We can do this, sissy." I snort, crushing his palm with mine, agreeing silently. Eric's voice silences every single conversation in the large room, including the Erudite and the Dauntless audience.

"We're going to begin now. You are to stand up when your name is called and we will inject you with the fear serum. You are to go through your fears like a Dauntless soldier would and this will be your very last chance to gain points for your ranks." His cold stare lingers over us and I take in a shaky breath. _This really is it._

Four walks beside Eric, who nods at him in a disinterested manner before heading back into the glass room.

"We're going to start calling names in order of the rankings that came out after Phase One- just so it can be clear. Keep in mind that this doesn't mean that by the end of tonight you will be at the same ranking post. Anyway, let's go." Four nods and calls out Uriah. He takes a deep breath before winking back at me playfully and touching Marlene's shoulder. I cringe as I watch the needle enter his neck, but it doesn't seem to affect him or his facial features in any way. My eyes dart between staring at his drunk-on-fear body to the leaders. He moves slightly and grunts every once in a while; face contorted into a sleepy, panicky expression. I glance back at Max- who's staring at the screen in front of him, and Eric- who is propped on his elbows as he glares at Uriah's fears through narrowed and calculating eyes. When it's all over and he wakes up, everyone cheers as one leader (usually Max or the leader with the ponytail- who I am made aware is called Harrison) walks up to him and shakes his hand, muttering a congratulations.

We were also told that we can leave at any given time after going through our landscape, but many of us choose not to listen to that.

"Tris Prior." I hear my name ring through the room and I steady myself on my feet as I walk towards Four, who's disinfecting the syringe. I sit down, averting my gaze to the floor because the pressure of knowing that every single person in the room is staring at me is too much for me to handle. I stiffen when I feel Four brushing my hair out of the way, so I help him out. He sends me a warm smile before pushing the needle into my neck. Colors begin appearing in front of my eyes as I drift away- Eric's mantra in my head, unforgotten.

"Be brave Tris." I hear Four mumble out and then I black out.

* * *

 _Eric appears in my fifth fear._

The deafening cheers of the audience and my friends pull me back into reality. I clasp onto something, not really caring or thinking what it is, as I try and control my breathing and heart rate. I look up to see Four grinning down at me nervously, my palm squeezing his forearm tightly. I apologize hastily but he shrugs it off casually. I sit up and begin standing up warily, careful not to make sudden movements just yet. From the corner of my eyes, I catch Jeanine clapping formally, nodding her head approvingly, though her ugly scowl proves to me that she definitely wants me dead, regardless of whether I'm Divergent or not. A giant weight I never knew existed is suddenly lifted off my chest until my breath hitches in my throat when I see Eric stepping up towards me. He smiles at me, extending his hand out for me to shake. Of coarse, I move in to do so, grinning back when his grip tightens over my palm.

He leans over to congratulate me over the boisterous noise. "Well done Six. I think this nickname is gonna have to stick with you. You did very well from what I've judged and from what I've heard the others say. We're gonna celebrate tonight." I blush heavily to which he smirks before nodding me off back to the class. I ignore the strange stares coming from the people who are potentially confused as to why I chose to kill myself instead of Eric. Uriah brings his hand up playfully and I take it; thinking that he's probably joking if he thinks I can hoist him up. Instead, he brings me down- catching me against his chest before I hit the wall with my face. I laugh, slapping him lightly before turning to talk to a cross Marlene- who feels neglected that I haven't told her anything about Eric and I. Pinky-promising that I will later, we turn our attention back to Lynn who is confidently striding towards Four. I sideways glance at Peter and note how down he looks and how I will try talking to him tonight.

When every single initiate has gone through their fear landscapes, the Leadership walk up to us ceremoniously, led by a smirking Max.

"You are all free to go now. Well done to each and every one of you. You have proved to us that deep down you all have a sense of bravery within you and hopefully it is strong enough to push you into the group of new members. Your rankings shall be revealed at eight tonight in the Pit, followed by a larger celebration compared to the previous one." We beam at the leaders and surprisingly nearly all of their faces relax, except Eric's. He still appears to be more bored than ever. Before they can even walk away, Uriah chooses to believe that this is the right time to discuss our evening plans.

"C'mon! Let's go do shots!" Uriah yells out as he grabs my wrist and whoever else's he could reach- which is Lynn's. She and Peter agree and I shake my head no, not really feeling up for another night of having the drilling pain of the shots kill me. So instead I follow Marlene and Melody back to their sleeping dorms and we get ready together. Mel is wearing a tight, black crop top with studded, knee-length boots and army-patterned 'booty shorts'. She slaps her ass in front of me as she turns to gaze at herself in the mirrors of the bathroom. Someone clears their throat behind me and I turn, meeting the blue-eyed girl holding Uriah's heart. I sit on her bed and quickly sum up everything that has happened between me and the fearless leader. Of coarse, she's so supportive.

She too, looks really pretty in her black jeans and top with a leather jacket. And then there's me in my overly large Eric shirt with a belt slung around my waist- making me look like I'm wearing a dress. I don't stress too much about my appearance because I know it won't matter in a couple of hours. When we are ready we make our way to the Pit- many passing by members congratulating us. Many call me Six and I don't know if that should bother me or not. I shrug it off and enter the sea of Dauntless. One whole family.

I hear a familiar gong and I train my eyes to the Leadership platform where the screen which is about to reveal my ranking stares blankly back at me. My heart swells as I watch Eric climb up swiftly before straightening his posture. His infamous scowl persuades everyone to quieten down before he continues.

"As most of you already know, today is the day Dauntless welcomes new members." There is genuine excitement laced in his voice, which excites _me_ even more. A wave of cheers gushes through the hall before it all becomes quiet again for him to continue.

"In this following week the new members are to meet with any leader for a discussion concerning your future and what jobs you want to take up. Those of you who haven't passed the ranking line are expected to immediately go back to the dormitories to get ready for the Factionless. And those of you who have passed- Dauntless welcomes you." He nods, smirking before he narrows his eyes, letting them wash over the crowd of huddled initiates- me included. I squeeze Uriah and Marlene's hands and I feel Melody resting her head on my shoulder from behind as we all wait impatiently for the grand reveal. Without really ending the speech; Eric steps to the side and the sequence of names is revealed.

 **1\. Tris**

My whole world stops for a second and I find myself lost in my own thoughts. How? Have I- the underestimated Stiff- just outranked every single person in my class. I would sit and think over it all until I find myself grabbed once again by Uriah (who is second) and twirled around in the air. I cup a hand over my mouth, screaming as a tear streams down my face. Never have I ever wanted something so badly, and here I am able to say that I did it. I finally achieved something. I hug everyone in turn- unable to stop myself from speaking and congratulating them back. I glance at the bottom list of names- and I am relieved to see that none of the names are familiar to my eyes.

Not long after, the lighting darkens and the celebration officially begins. Drinks are being passed around and I find myself declining every single one of them. Zeke and Lynn try to pull me towards the dance-floor and I declined that offer too...until Uriah throws me over his shoulder as he drags Marlene by the hand. I lose myself in the beat- its echoes becoming one sound with my heartbeat. I feel Lynn elbow me roughly before she points at the bar. I squint my eyes and begin screaming "What?!" when she tries to say something over the music. That's until I catch a glimpse of Four and Melody. He has his arm draped over her as he kisses her neck sweetly as she giggles. My stomach drops and I'm suddenly missing Eric too much. I hear Zeke yell and Lynn and I both twist to stare at him clapping his hands and supporting Uriah as we all watch the younger Pedrad goes in to kiss Marlene. I find myself loving the idea of Marlene and Uriah together- and I'm sure they'd love the idea of a double-date...except they would prefer that without Eric! Lynn's lips curl downwards just a bit before she shakes her head violently- telling me that if I want to see her she's at the bar.

This is my golden opportunity to go find my leader- until Peter pops out of nowhere between the crowd. "Congrats!" He yells, pulling me into a hug. "Back to you!" I laugh, swaying slightly with the music. We spend no time conversating because we both just continue dancing madly and laughing like children. That's until he freezes in front of me, his stare fixated on something behind me. Or someone.

Right as I am about to turn around, I feel a set of calloused familiar hands find their way onto my waist. I grin, biting my lip before swinging my body to face Eric's towering demeanor. He glares at Peter before looking down at me, grinning widely before pulling my closer to him. I can swear that even over the painfully loud music, I still heard Peter's along with many of the bystanders around us gasping. I stand as high as I can on my toes, very much appreciating it when he leans over so that I can have more access to his neck as I bring my arms around him. He smirks before surprising me by grabbing my ass and hoisting me upwards and into the air for a split moment. I wrap my legs around him just as he secures me against him before pulling me into a passionate kiss which burns away everything around me- leaving me with him and him only. Never have I ever thought that he would want to publicly do something like this- but then again this is Eric and Eric is always full of surprises. Besides, I am sure that this is his way of publicizing our relationship. Eric's tongue slides into my mouth and I attempt to bite it- earning a growl from the leader. I feel like he is leaving marks on my behind with the amount of pressure he is using to keep me up against him. But none of it matters.

Before breaking apart soundly, he takes my bottom lip with his teeth and bites down hard until I taste blood. He drops me gracefully, smirking as he entwines our fingers together. I refrain from turning my full gaze back to the people who have just witnessed this and laugh at their expressions; so I keep my eyes on his perfectly structured face and soft, grey eyes. I gesture him to lean downwards and he listens to me without fighting.

"Can we go back to your apartment and celebrate? This is boring." I let my teeth graze against his ear gauge, feeling him shudder ever so slightly. He pulls away, before snorting.

"As if I'd ever say no to such a tempting offer." He grabs me again and I can't help but yelp when he throws me over his shoulder chin jutted out and high as he begins striding proudly towards the exit- hundreds of stares burning holes through both of our backs.

* * *

"Shut the door," he announces, before turning around- his pupils dilating "...Or don't."

I giggle, walking back to close the front door of his apartment before kicking off my boots once again. He strides over towards me, his fingers skimming over the thick belt hugging the curve of my waist over one of the only pale-colored shirts Eric owns. Next thing I know; my belt lays abandoned on the apartment floor beside his soldier jacket. He kisses me, this time not hungrily or desperately- but more softly and sweetly, fingers caressing my jaw. Maybe even lovingly. I feel his muscles flex under my fingers- even through the thin, black shirt, which also finds its way beside my belt.

I run my fingers over his solid abs- cherishing how perfectly formed his body physique is. In my eyes- he's practically a living god. He leans downwards, kissing every single inch of my face and the places his lips can reach without properly stretching forward to hold me. I flinch when I hear a loud buzzing noise coming from somewhere behind him. He groans, stepping back so he can be at his full height. He pulls out his phone from the back pocket of his jeans and narrows his eyes as he glares at the screen. Sliding a finger across the screen- he barks out before his phone is even against his ear.

"What?!" I stand there awkwardly- debating over the things I should do as I wait. I bend over to begin picking up the clothes but he gestures me to stop- raising his eyebrows at me before silent rage fills into his eyes.

"Four...now is really not the time for such a discussion. I'm busy anyway." His stare darkens and before Four can even try and respond to that, he presses the red 'end call' button; pushing another small switch downwards before muttering something about how we aren't going to be disturbed again. I want to laugh at his exasperated expression- but I can only gasp as soon as I feel my body get slammed against the wall- his lips attacking my neck as he shoves off my shirt with a single hand movement. I feel his hand close to my core and the feeling becomes even more intense when he slides it down my pants.

"Eric," I moan his name out, squirming impatiently when the coldness of his soft lips move off of my neck. He raises his pierced eyebrow as I attempt to squeeze through the small gap between the wall and him. I huff when he closes that gap when he jerks his hips to the side; potentially inclining his body until I'm actually trapped. I grip onto his bicep tightly.

"We always start in the corridor." I roll my eyes as he chortles haughtily. As he moves in for another kiss; I seize my chance of Eric shutting his eyes to remove myself out of the trap before making a run towards the bedroom. I scream when I hear him follow after me, and this is followed by another scream when I feel him grab me. He wastes no time unclasping my bra before working his fingers over the waistband of my _black_ lace underwear. Mel had given me a pretty gift with the instructions that I am to wear them tonight. I did as I was told to.

"Don't rip them!" I exclaim as soon as I feel his grip become dangerously tight. He smirks, tossing his eyes towards the ceiling before moving in for another kiss, the weight of his body making me push my knees outwards for comfort. He unbuckles his belt and I suggest that I can assist him with that, but after last time's teasing, I don't think Eric will ever trust me with unbuckling his belt again. When the jeans are out of the way, Eric stands up to shove his boxers down- biting his lip when an unintentional moan escapes through my lips. He yanks the lingerie off of my body; pulling my closer as his fingers skim over my breasts and then downwards to my sides and then the curve of my ass. He then palms his length as I scoot over; bracing myself for what's to come.

I expect unbearable pain like last time- maybe it's my adrenaline- but there is nothing like that today. It is uncomfortable at first, until he patiently waits for me to adjust to his size. Although his movements are fast and overwhelming- there's something more to it than just fucking. Yes, it is only my second time, but it just feels somewhat different compared to my first. I greet the familiar rocking movements of his hips against mine through a widely parted mouth, my fingers laced through his soft hair and the other hand gripping the velvet sea of dark sheets surrounding us. He growls my name like the last time biting down on my shoulder, hard enough for marks.

It doesn't take him long for me to be screaming his own name at him as I ride my moments of bliss with him following closely after. He lowers his face to mine and our lips meet. Eric places his hand on my waist and draws me impossibly closer- deepening the kiss. As we part I see his eyes sparkle darkly and lips curve up into a smile and I can't help but smile back. Although he likes to keep his apartment colder than the average temperature; in this very moment against him- I don't feel the need to shiver because we are a heated mess.

He uses his palms against the bed to push himself upwards, but I stop him as I draw my hands over his chest before straddling him. Eric always has the chance to push me off or away because of the difference in our sizes, but he just chooses not to, which I consider it to be a win-win situation for both of us. He raises an eyebrow at me but I just kiss his lips breathlessly, feeling him shift us backwards until his back is against the headboard. I pull apart- our lips still just mere inches from each other; shutting my eyes as I feel a tingle run down my back when I feel his growing erection against my thigh.

I feel like time is nonexistent in his apartment

after we are gasping for air again as I rest my forehead on his shoulder, his hands lazily following the vertebrates of my spine.

"We should go shower," he remarks and as I pull away, my stomach flips when I see how blown his pupils are. I smirk, inching away closer to his ear.

"We should." His possessive grip tightens but I am nowhere near to refusing his presence in the shower with me, although the thought of him watching me slip again is so scary. I entwine our fingers together- thinking about how I'm practically the same complexion as him. Pale but not horribly pale. He trails after my lead towards the bathroom, where we go for another round and as I roll around in the bed sheets an hour later; I can't help but think how tonight is the best night of my life.

* * *

 **A/N**

 **Please R &R (I always love hearing what you think about the chapters) **

**Here's the direct continuation of the previous chapter.**

 **X**


	31. Plotting and Scheming

My first morning as a full-fledged Dauntless member passed by like a blur. Although I had all the time in the world to sleep in (given the fact that I have no training and nearly everyone is still hungover) I wake up at the ungodly hour of 8:30 am. It was a tough mission to try and untangle myself from Eric's tight grasp and take a peak at the blinking alarm clock. It took forever to get up too, but I finally managed to, regardless of Eric's groaning and attempts to pull me back into bed where he successfully made me agree to a few more moments of 'sleeping.' When I finally state that I want to go work out for a bit, he moves to lay on top of me-face buried in the crook of my neck- and only then I realize that my fighting is useless.

I bite my tongue when I hear Eric's soft snores move back into the atmosphere and I begin pestering him uncontrollably by tapping him until he lets me go. Finally, he yields and I scoot off the bed after planting a long kiss on his head. He makes a noise before staring up at me through half-hooded grey eyes until he eventually falls back to sleep. My heart swells and breaks a bit when I walk out of the bedroom and towards the bathroom. I make a face as I stare at my reflection, my eyes washing over my body. Apart from my face features, I have practically transformed into a new person. I am tattooed, pierced and my hair is colored. My body structure finally resembles one of a girl and not of a five year old boy who has forgotten to eat breakfast. If the Abnegation girl who jumped into the net on the day of our choosing met me today; she would not have recognized her one bit.

I take a brisk shower and brush my teeth simultaneously, day-dreaming as I think hard about what my life has become. I tiptoe back into the bedroom in a towel- staring at how Eric is now sprawled over my side of the bed, his face hidden in my pillow as his back slowly moves in sync with his breathing. I make a face when I realize that all my clean underwear and really- all my clothes are in my dorm room. Which gets me thinking; _where am I going to sleep from now on?_

Although I strongly believe that Eric would definitely not mind me moving in, I want to try and live a bit on my own. I take a mental note to pass by the dorm room before anything so that I can get some more clean clothes. Throwing on the clothes from last night (because although the idea of wearing something unwashed and used bothers me; I only wore the outfit for a couple of hours tops) I make my way to the bed before moving to bury my face in his neck, my lips pressing against any area of the side of his head I can reach. He stirs for a second before grabbing me and pulling me under him. Although his expression screams 'asleep', his movements are as calculated and perfect as always. He moves in to kiss me, but his eyes widen groggily as he looks down at my outfit.

"Are you sneaking out while I'm sleeping?" He leers at me, pressing his already rigid body against mine. I arch into him, struggling from under, especially after Eric decides to grab and hold my wrists over my head. His lips find mine before they move down to attack my throat. He also successfully moves to cup his hand over my mouth to prevent my moans from turning into screams.

"I told you, I'm going to train." I whimper out before sending him a nasty scowl when he rolls off of me and under the covers. Once again, without even trying, he manages to increase my heartbeat as well as my breaths.

"Bye Tris," he sighs out, his hand blindly trying to find mine but I swat him away, huffing in exasperation. "Meet me in the Cafeteria later on, _Eric_." I stress his name as I lean over to say it, my lips brushing over his ear, making him shudder ever so slightly.

Surprisingly enough, I catch sight of Lynn beating the crap out of a punching bag and so I skip towards her gleefully. She smiles tightly at me before resuming her stance and continuing her violent attack. Silently, I stride past her and work my way towards the targets where I find some knives and practice for a few hours until we finally begin conversating about everything _except_ Marlene.

I fling my water bottle at her as I collapse onto the bench, dripping in my own sweat. I frown hard, thinking about how stupid I was for wasting my time showering if it all went to waste now as the sweat drips down my forehead and sticks to my sport's bra. I had passed by my dorm and nicely woken up Marlene and had asked her if I could borrow a pretty duffel bag she owns so that I could throw some sport's wear and clothes to transfer back to Eric's until I could get a place of my own. Of coarse, Marlene-bless her hungover soul- being the precious and sleepy friend she is; grunted in approval before falling back into a deep slumber.

Sitting in the training room a couple of hours later, I glance at the partially open bag and the clothes peaking out of there and I go over whether it would be a good idea to go back to Eric's and just have another shower before meeting up with everyone for breakfast.

My heart sinks when I enter his empty apartment- feeling colder than ever. I place the bag on the edge of the bed before rummaging through it until I find my underwear that scream 'single'. Rolling my eyes; I pick out my clothes and strip out of my outfit before taking a sixty second rinse.

Once I'm out, dried and clothed- I make sure to dry up after me before passing by the laundry room where I hand the cleaning lady mine and some of Eric's little amount of dirty clothes. She looks me up and down through narrowed eyes and I scowl at her. She grabs the clothes out of my grip a little too violently before plastering on the fakest of smiles, which I don't even bother returning back. I return to the still-empty and deathly quiet apartment and tidy up as much as I can (because the place is freakishly tidy due to the nice, older lady Eric had hired to clean up every few days- not that she really is needed) until eleven when I finally make my way to the Cafeteria.

I walk into the Cafeteria and immediately a hush falls over the crowded hall as they all turn to stare at me. I gulp, unsure as to how I should advance in this awkward situation. I try to smile tightly and exhale in relief when I hear Uriah's shouts from across the room. I hop down the stairs, grab a plate of some bacon and eggs before making my way through to the end table where Uriah is furiously waving at me. I glance downwards to see Peter in a hoodie, his head lowered over his plate as he chooses to avoid my presence. I send Uriah a strange look to which he answers with a shrug.

"Hey Peter." I say, banging the tray on the table when he chooses to ignore me. He finally looks up, his hard eyes softening as he sighs. "Hey Tris." I purse my lips and use my fork to push around the unappetizing plate of cold food in front of me. He leans over and begins talking to Uriah and I glare in their direction when they shuffle a bit away from my earshot. Uriah sends me an apologetic look before elbowing Peter irritably, but the latter chooses to ignore him as he slides back in front of me.

"So you and Eric huh?" I pretend I don't catch the hurt and jealousy laced in his words by nodding rigidly, cocking my head to the side the slightest bit.

"Yeah, me and Eric." We have a stare-down until Uriah clears his throat and throws his arm around me.

"I'm perfectly happy with Tris having a boyfriend. As long as he doesn't hurt you, I'm perfectly fine with him dating you." Peter snorts but I just scuttle closer into him.

"Thanks dad." He nods seriously before tickling me mercilessly, resulting to me falling on the floor before even Uriah himself can catch me. Hoisting myself up with the help of no man at all; I glance at the extremely excited looking demeanor of a pacing Melody as she practically runs towards us, carrying a large wooden box. She places it on the table- not even acknowledging the fact that there was a plate that is now broken under it. Uriah high-fives her and I frown, tapping on the hard cover.

"What's this?" They snicker, exchanged a look of pure evil and playfulness. Mel slides the top to reveal a little crack where she sticks her hand to pull out a couple of long, plastic tubes containing different colored fluids. I take one and inspect it carefully.

"And this is?" I gasp when Uriah snatches it and bends it slightly, but this is enough for an awful cracking sound to emerge from the tube. He continues bending and twisting it until he's satisfied, and when that happens- he shakes it, a very concentrated expression on his face. He then uses his palms to cup the center of the tube before shoving it under my nose.

"Look!" He yells, raising his eyebrows as he juts his chin out towards the small space he makes for me to look through. I giggle before leaning and and peeping into the gap, where my eyes are introduced to the darkness of his cupped palms and a glowing light passing through the area of the tube hidden by the shadow. I puff out in surprise, glancing at Melody and then Uriah before taking the stick and doing what he did.

"It's a glow stick!" Mel exclaims as she begins explaining how exactly they work as Uriah makes his way through the box of hundreds of glow sticks. "Aha!" He whoops, revealing a bag of colorful powder and a can of whatever in his other hand. I shake my head quickly.

"I'm sorry for being so slow at catching on, but what exactly are you guys planning on doing with so many glow sticks, powder...and cans?" Mel smirks at me as Uriah takes his knife to break open the can. He pours some of the substance in his empty breakfast plate and I scrunch my nose at the strange looking texture. It's like slime and it feels cold to the touch. But it still doesn't provide me with a sensible explanation for their plans.

"Basically," Uriah drawls but Melody cuts him off before continuing without taking in one single breath. "I've been listening to Marlene, Lynn and Uriah plan this for ages and so I joined in. We're going to have a glow party! But with paint and powder too! It's gonna be soo fun!" She squeals, high-fiving Peter who finally looks like his normal self. "How-" I attempt to continue but it doesn't seem like Melody needs any help.

"So- Lynn's already talked to the DJ tonight and he's cool with it. She's going to be in control of the songs since today isn't something to be celebrated, the music wasn't going to be loud but with Lynn," she giggles before continuing. "At nine pm sharp I'm gonna go cut the electricity current in the Pit, but we've already backed up the sound and shit so nothing's going to be fucked up and we won't be left all quiet. As the power goes down, Uriah is going to be cracking the glow sticks- hopefully he will be done by nine- and he's going to climb on one of the terraces above the Pit and he's going to throw the glow sticks on the people! We've also spoken to some of the members we already know and since word travels fast, this will turn into the best party Dauntless has ever seen!" She takes a deep breath, closing her eyes before letting the air go.

Peter raises his hand up. "I can help with the electricity. I know a thing or two since my days back in Candor." He winks, to which Melody responds with a shrill 'YES." I grin. "Yeah and I can help Uriah with the glow sticks. We can separate them and at nine we'll be at two parallel terraces, so more ground and people will be covered." No one even waits to think about it, they all just nod thoughtfully.

"How are we going to throw the paint and powder over each other though?" Peter thinks out loud.

"We've already given some members a handful of paint and powder to keep for themselves but also to pass around, so all they need to do is just throw the bags at someone and they pop open easily. As for the paint, I snuck into the weaponry unit and found the paintball guns which we used for Capture The Flag! All we need to do is to switch the pressure to practically painless and we're good to go!" One can tell that this was very planned out and that they've covered nearly every single aspect of this whole event. I hear Melody curse loudly as she and Uriah rapidly grab the box and throw it under the table before beginning to act casual.

"Tris." His voice sends me into a vortex of frenzy and passion as I snap my head back at the smug demeanor of the young leader. He raises a brow at me, his hands finding my shoulders as he uses enough pressure to make me hiss pleasantly. I glance at how my friends are staring; Uriah's expression is mixed with awe and worry, Melody has a huge grin on her face which is a total juxtaposition of the frown on Peter's face.

"You planning something?" Eric declares and I snap back into reality as my eyes train back to his slightly agitated expression. From the corner of my eyes, I catch Eden, Max and Harrison walk into the Cafeteria a little after Eric; which makes me believe that he has just come out of a not-so-pleasant meeting and my answering isn't relaxing him.

"No." My voice goes a little high pitched and that's enough for Eric to narrow his eyes and suspiciously over skim the rest of the group. Thankfully, he doesn't ask any more questions, but more like just pulls me up and into him.

"I have a few more hours until my next meeting. We can go for another round back in the apartment, or anywhere really..." He practically growls the words in my ear, leaving me burning with excitement and a fear that someone might hear us. _But then again, do I care? No, not really._

He grips my waist and I squirm, fixing my stare in his grey eyes that seem to grow darker and darker.

"Ugh, as much as I want to, I have...hair plans...with Melody." I glance back at her, relieved that she doesn't give me away. As much as I want to just say fuck it and run after him back to the apartment; I really want to spend some more time planning out the event. Especially since I want to be included with the provision of powder bombs around the compound. And I'm sure Eric is the last person in the world who would be happy to hear about our plans. He squints down at me, his grip becoming tighter and tighter.

"Oh really now?" I shudder under his intensive stare before grabbing him by the collar of his neat uniform and pulling him in for a long kiss. He stiffens for a second, something I've realized happens often when he comes into contact with anyone, less with me of coarse. I feel his hands slide downwards until they're on the small of my back, fingers brushing my behind lightly. I pull away when my lungs threaten to explode because of the lack of oxygen- and even then I'm still not satisfied enough and I still feel like I'm in need of more of his lips.

"Pass by later, you practically live with me," he leers at me lowly, mindlessly tucking on a few strands of curls. I grin, reaching up to wrap my arms around his neck before stepping away reluctantly.

"Don't get too excited though. I'm gonna move soon." I laugh when he sends me a nasty sneer before retreating towards the exit, shedding one last glance back at me.

The rest of my afternoon and early evening is used up by my scheming around with my friends; and every now and then I got sent around with powder bags to supply some members. Max passed by our little group in the Pit suspiciously at about six and so we decided that we shouldn't be openly planning something so serious. We agree to part ways and meet exactly one hour before the event at Zeke's apartment.

I wave them goodbye and begin making my way back to Eric's. Hopefully he'll be there though. I slide my key-card through the slot and stupidly grin at the blinking green dot telling me that it's unlocked. I put the card on the marble kitchen counter before climbing up myself to reach the glasses. Hopping off, I open the fridge to pour some fresh orange juice that Eric had squeezed for me with a cute note on the fridge door.

Walking back towards the bedroom, I see that the dark blinds have been lowered- which isn't anything surprising because he prefers his apartment to be dark- and Eric collapsed over the bed; still in his black uniform minus his jacket which I noted was neatly sprawled over the living room sofa. I lean against the door frame with my hands crossed over my chest, biting my lip at how adorable he is when he's napping. I tiptoe inside quietly and judging by his soft snores, he's in a _deep_ nap. This makes my mission of hastily untying his boots and pulling the soft blanket I find in one of the drawers over him so much easier. He murmurs something which sounds like a slurred version of my name, but all I do bend over to brush my lips in his hair. He hums, turning around and sighing deeply.

I move back out and inaudibly close the door behind me before taking my abandoned orange juice glass and plopping down onto the couch. I rub the soft material with my palm, cherishing the texture and imagining how quickly I can fall asleep on the delicate material. I've been in the living room many times, and strangely enough I feel like every single time I come I spend more and more time taking in the design. It's obvious that the people designing this apartment knew that this would be Eric's living quarters, and so they wasted no time on mixing up the wrong color pallet. I cherish its modern touch and the spaciousness. The walls are the perfect, unstained shade of white, the only pale shade found in the whole entire house, apart from the marble counters in his kitchen. The coffee table appears to be a darker tone of black compared to the couch, and all the bookshelves lined up against the wall beside the T.V. opposite me are probably a darker shade than the coffee table. And apart from the few papers stacked on the glass table in the dining area of the living room, I don't see one flaw in the upkeep of his apartment.

Somehow, I also find peace in all these dark tones stretched up in front of me. Maybe it's because I grew up in a community where the only color alive is grey, so somehow succumbing myself around the more somber shade really isn't such a big shock to my eyes. I jump up and stroll around until a lonely leaflet catches my eye. I pick it up off the glass table and read the letters carefully.

 _Leadership Training Program: Vacancy available_

My eyes then fall onto the yellow sticky note, stuck onto the cover- and the two words that make my heart leap in my throat.

 _Eric Coulter_

I cock my head as I skim over the information, which is basically just a detailed version of what training will be like for someone who picks the job of being a Leader-in-training. Is Eric in charge of the program? Does he get to pick who can enter? Do I want to ask him about it?

Probably after the color war. Or later...depending on how mad he is.

I drop the flyer back in its place and sulk towards his bookshelves. Today, I pick out to read a book with the large, golden title ' _Ancient History: The Ancient Egyptian Civilization.'_ I carry myself along with the heavy book back to the couch, where I pull off the arm-rest a neatly folded, fluffy maroon blanket over me. _Oh yes, that might be the only red object in the apartment too._ Although the stories and information is very interesting, I find myself slowly slipping into a quick and unplanned nap.

Instead of Eric waking me up, he kneels down beside my sleeping figure and coos softly in my ear until my eyes flutter open. The first thing I see is his steely eyes reading me, an amused expression on his face. I push myself forward, feeling thirsty as hell. I thank Dauntless when he wordlessly passes me my orange juice which disappears after two gulps.

"What time is it?" I ask, my stomach dropping when I grab his wrist to establish that it's 7:50pm and I'm officially fucked. I curse loudly, darting for the door, closely followed by a scowling Eric.

"Where do you think you're going?" He demands, crossing his arms over his chest before he steps forward, nearly pushing me down onto the floor as I stumble for my shoe-laces. I look up, biting my lip as I try and think up of another excuse.

"Uh yeah, my hair appointment got pushed to eight and so I'm gonna be late because I need to find Melody...-" I hate that I have to lie to him, but it's not like Eric would ever let me go to such an event. In fact, I don't think there would be an event if he knew. He clenches his jaw, gritting his teeth before sighing heavily. I pass him and run to pick up my key-card before getting trapped between Eric and the counters. I sigh, pressing my palms on his chest before subconsciously sliding them around his waist. He buries his nose in my hair, breathing out the words in my hair.

"Come back as soon as you're done. I woke up to you napping by yourself on the couch when you could've just joined me on the bed. I left to go to a meeting and when I came back you were still curled up against the book. But I have another meeting in twenty minutes so if you aren't home by the time I'm back, I'm going to organize a raiding party to search around Dauntless for you." He says the words solemnly and I gulp, nodding fervently.

Hesitantly, he steps away, nodding and not ripping his thorough stare off of me. I give him a chaste kiss, giving in for a split second when he decides to deepen it. I jog out, grinning like mad.

"I love you," I obliviously yell back, hearing him chuckle before I close the door.

I finally find Zeke's apartment and- as instructed- I knock six times (Uriah's logic...) on the front door. When the door slides open, I am greeted with the same expression my mother used to send me when I did something that was uncalled for- like laughing loudly. Uriah, steps to the side, granting me entrance, clicking his tongue disappointingly.

"I literally feel asleep," I mumble, moving past him until I find myself in the living room. Zeke's apartment is nice and small, nothing in comparison to Eric's- not even the colors. Here, there is more liveliness and movement going around. Not that the silence in Eric's home is painful, but it definitely feels different to be surrounded by more shades of red, white and even dark brown.

I sit beside Melody on the floor around the coffee-table after she gestures me to come with a smirk. Uriah takes his place back beside Marlene on the couch- who is too busy cleaning and readying the large amount of paintball guns with a somewhat less tense version of last night's Lynn. Peter is sitting beside Melody and is still salty about who knows what and doesn't acknowledge me. I roll my eyes just as Uriah begins clapping his hands.

"So Zeke is currently working his shift in the Control Room so I ordered him to fuck up the lights and he said no. Something about how it might cost him his job." He scoffs, laughing as he shakes his head. "So Peter and I payed these guys, I forgot their names, and they did the job for us. Not really fuck up the lights but they're dim enough in the hallways at least, so us passing around the paintball guns isn't going to be as visible in the Control Room."

I begin helping out Melody divide the glow sticks in two separate baskets which Uriah and I will take up to the terraces facing the Pit and dumping them on the people. After about half an hour, people begin showing up for the last batch of powder bombs and paint cans with paint-balls. When everything has been taken and sorted, we all high-five each other and exit the apartment as quickly as possible.

I grip my huge basket filled with glow-sticks tightly, as I follow Uriah up a few flights of 'well-shaped' stairs after we part with Lynn (who goes to the DJ); Melody and Peter (who will sneak out towards the electrical room which is found right outside the compound) and Marlene (who will be in the Pit making sure that everything goes as planned.)

Although being all by ourselves, Uriah pretends like he _has_ to be undercover and instead of just walking casually towards his terrace, he rolls on the floor until he hits the wall. I snicker, moving down the corridor until I find a terrace which is also relatively over the Pit and in Uriah's view. I take my position and nod at him from across, smiling widely when I catch the corners of his lips move up to reveal his childish, toothy grin.

I check the wristwatch Eric had given me until 'he gets me my own one' and I see that it's nearly nine. Suddenly, a jolt of nervousness washes through me and I shiver as I think up of every possible way in which our plan might fail. I take a deep breath through my nose and stop mid-breath as the light disappears. I hear whoops instead of gasps and that's my suit to follow my instructions. Already having broken my glow-sticks just a few minutes ago, I lean over the balcony and begin throwing and flinging down my little sticks of fluorescent lights. I laugh as I watch Uriah lean over so much he nearly topples downwards with his own glow-sticks, but luckily he catches himself just in time. I watch as he begins waving at me before disappearing, the music and shrieks too loud for me to comprehend what he's saying. Not long after, I feel him grab my hand before picking me up bridal-style and literally sprinting back into the Pit, where the fun has just begun.

Instead of being greeted by the same old, bright light casting the same old shadow over the little group of people celebrating who knows what this time, my jaw drops in amazement at how beautiful it turns out to be. The Pit is dark and filled with so many people all dancing around, shrieking, yelling as powder bombs and paintball shots fly all around us. Most of the glow-sticks are being hurled around in the air, creating beautiful swirls of neon lights in the dark. I gasp when I feel the right side of my face beginning to hurt after something cold is tossed my way.

I turn around slowly and dangerously, glowering at a mischievously grinning Uriah who is clutching onto his paintball gun- still aiming at me. Picking up a powder-bag that has still yet to explode, I chase after Uriah until he slips and slides against the slick floor covered in a thick layer of goo and paint. I follow his suit, moving up to trap him under me before popping the bag in his face. He makes the mistake of inhaling in the moment of the pop, which causes him to gulp a large amount of powder which later gets coughed out loudly. I fall off him, wheezing until my sides begin to hurt. He uses my vulnerable state against me and gathers a handful of slime with his palms before throwing it my way.

"You little shit!" I yell, running a hand through my thick, covered in slime hair. The sticky substance oozes and drips onto my shoulders and down my back, and I can't help but cringe as I run after Uriah. He slips again, this time dropping his paintball gun, and as he begins scattering back towards it- I jump over him and move to hold it as I aim at his head. He holds his hands up but I am not having any of that. Not after he just gave me a ticket to an endless shower in an attempt of trying to rid myself off this disgusting slime coated over my hair.

"Of all the places you could have thrown it," I holler- trying to keep a straight face on. "You just had to involve my hair." He laughs, his large eyes nervously averting downwards to leer at the weapon in my hands.

"I'm sorry Tris. There had to be some casualties."

Just as I'm about to shoot- someone grabs me from behind and twists me around until I plummet onto the floor, weaponless and vulnerable. I look up, trying to fixate my glare onto the only familiar face in this sea of highly entertained souls.

 _Peter._

"Thanks!" Uriah chirps in as his fellow friend hoists him up and off the glazed ground. I swallow thickly, fighting against the smile threatening to appear on my face.

"You're a traitor," I point at Peter, who must have been attacked by too many powder bombs because- he too- looks like a large mess of colors. He grins at me and knot in my stomach loosens. _He has been angry at me all day long; or ever last night when Eric and I publicized our relationship. It's good to have him back though._

"Brothers first." They smirk at each other before he moves to pick me up just as another member beside me gets pushed onto the floor in hysterics. I flail when his grip on my wrist doesn't loosen and I search his eyes in confusion. Peter grins evilly before pointing the gun at me again.

"Just get it over and done with," I snarl, giving up way too quickly. In my mind, I have thought of the possible ways of escape- but none are worth the shot. If I tried running- it would be more likely that I slip and slide under the boots of the members; or Uriah would catch me; or Peter would just shoot from a distance. I close my eyes, waiting for the loud bang responsible for a potential bruise to come to my earshot. However, when I do hear it, I don't feel any pain or pressure- only the fact that Peter lets go of me abruptly before him and Uriah both collapse onto the floor, groaning. The series of bangs persistently continue from all around me, but I begin cheering loudly when Melody comes in my view- her face contorted into the most solemn and concentrated expression as she continues firing at our fallen friends who probably wish they didn't try and take me as a hostage. When she's sure that they won't be annoying us after Marlene charges and practically jumps onto them both as she uses her own batch of paint dust; Melody grabs my hand and leads me towards the corner of the Pit. She then gestures towards the rocks; slings her gun over her head before beginning to climb to the higher platform where people tend to just chill and waste time. Without really questioning why- I follow her upwards- thankful when she turns around to help me up once she's safe on flat ground. From our higher vantage point, we can look over the whole Pit- and it really is astonishing. At least to the former Stiff here.

"So I was thinking," Melody begins as she pulls open the cartridge of the paintball gun before tipping all the paint found inside over the edge. "If we put the paint bombs and shoot them at the ceiling- they will explode and create powder rain over everyone." She beams at me as I think over her plan, before silently agreeing. "Perfect! Go get yourself a gun and bring more bombs. I'm gonna wait here." She calls out and I begin moving downwards before she even finishes.

Minutes later and what felt like an eternity of attempting to snatch a paintball gun off of someone; I am back with a weapon and as many bombs as I could possibly fit in my pants. On the way here though, someone bumped into me, causing one of them to explode- so now the lower half of my body is covered in an extra layer of different colors.

"Here." I say, passing Melody a few bags before following her movements in shoving as many as I can down the capsule. She lifts the weapon and rests it on her shoulder; much like how we were taught during our gun training lesson. Cocking her head ever so slightly, she peers in my direction before turning back to stare at the ceiling.

"Ready?" I nod in the positive and seconds later we begin blasting out our little bags at the Pit's roof. Rings of clashing colors emit out of the blues and wash over the growing, cheering crowd. I watch as it sparkles all over us all, even making Melody sneeze loudly. I laugh, bending over as I clutch her shoulder.

It all ends too quickly when all of a sudden, the boring bright lights turn back on and everyone all turn to stare at the entrance where a very livid-looking Max and Eric are in the view. We exchange glances with Melody before hurrying off the platform until we are lost in the crowd. We find Peter, Marlene and Uriah and then we pray that they don't ask the one thing we are dreading against.

Of coarse- they do.

"Who is responsible for this?" Bellows Max- and to my surprise, Eric beside him doesn't look that infuriated anymore. He must have seen us jump off the ledge because he is directly staring at me, his dark eyes holding an all-too-serious expression. I try to smile, but I can't bring myself to do it, especially with the guilt ebbing that choice away from me.

No one dares to speak up or even look in their leaders' direction. I glance around slowly- only to see Harrison and Eden covered in paint and powder just mere meters from where I am standing. They too- display a sense of guilt.

"I'm going to ask again. If no one owns up- there will be the commencement of a punishment," Max continues, leaning forward until he's gripping the railing so tightly, his knuckles turn white. I swallow thickly- widening my eyes when Uriah raises his hand up. Marlene tries to pull it downwards but he bats her away; grinning playfully- as if he didn't just own up in front of the whole compound. Exchanging glances with the rest, we follow him out of the crowd- attempting hard not to laugh and break into a smile because people begin cheering and clapping loudly. Finally, we all look up at our leaders; shocked to see that Max doesn't look like he wants to kill us since he is beginning to wear a more amused look on his face. Eric, on the other hand, is frowning darkly- crossing his arms over his chest. I watch as his muscles tense and flex at his movements, even through his very fitted shirt. Max shakes his head- obviously trying to keep a straight face too- as his two fellow leaders covered in paint make the choice of pushing through everyone until they're standing beside him. He clears his throat before continuing.

"I want you all to follow me back into my office for a further discussion. The rest of you...clean this mess up." This causes a series of groans and mutters to be evoked around the Pit, but when Max snaps his head back to glower at the people- it all comes to a halt. A small part of me is relieved that I don't have to stay and clean, but another part of me is afraid that we might have gotten into serious trouble.

 _But after all, it was all just for fun._

We share nervous glances between each other as we stand sheepishly, covered in different colors from head to toe, in Max's office. On the way here, he told Eden and Harrison to get out of his sight before he makes them return to the Pit to join in with the cleaning. They looked a little embarrassed at the fact that they were being told off in front of us- but we all heard their laughter and the way they high-fived each other loudly as soon as they were far away from us. Eric followed us and is now standing behind Max's desk as he leans against the window, refusing to make eye-contact with any of us. He looks downright bored.

"Alright." Max begins, leaning back into his chair, staring idly at us as he crosses his ankles one over the other. "You knew this was coming, right?" We all nod slowly, averting our gazes to the floor, as if we are being scolded by our parents. To an extent, it felt like we are. He hums in approval, stroking his chin thoughtfully. "Which one of you will care to enlighten me with how you decided that performing a paint war in the heart of the compound, hm?" I don't open my mouth, because I really don't know how they initially thought of this whole plan.

"Well," Uriah begins- grinning pleasantly although it was clear that he was nervous. "We've always wanted this to happen. Like since we were children. Me, Lynn, Marlene and Melody were the ones who initially planned it all out, and of coarse our friends decided to help us out. It has always been something on our bucket list worth doing after we finished our initiation training." Eric snorts, rolling his eyes before turning to leer at Uriah. Max is different. He listens to his story-telling and he seems highly entertained. He taps his fingers on his desk before pushing the chair backwards and standing up.

"I've seen you grow up before my eyes- and I strongly believe that this doesn't really deserve a punishment. Besides, I'm proud that you all, once again proved your bravery by owning up your responsibility in front of everyone. You are all dismi...-"

"But," Eric heavily cuts in and Max immediately snaps his attention back to the young leader who begins walking around the desk towards us, hands clasped behind his back and his trademark scowl alive once again. "Since we practically got you out of the troubles of cleaning up _your_ mess, I sincerely consider it fair that you deserve something that will make us believe that you will not do such thing again." He pauses, pursing his lips as his cold, grey eyes travel down our faces. The ends of his lips curl up maliciously as he turns back to mutter something back to Max. The latter doesn't exactly look too pleased with whatever Eric is telling him, but all he does it sigh and grant him allowance to sharing it with the rest of us.

"You are not allowed to have dauntless cake or any of the desserts that are taken out this week. I will instruct Ida again and hopefully we don't end up with a misunderstood cook." He glares at Uriah, who looks like he's about to cry. The rest of us sigh in relief. I can live without dessert for a week. I'm not sure how he will though.

"Dismissed." Eric nods and we all begin shuffling out quietly.

"Tris." The hairs on the back of my neck stand once I hear my name being uttered by Max. Cautiously, I spin around, catching him sit back down into his chair just as Eric moves to slam the door shut once everyone else is gone.

"I'd like us to have a little chat if you don't mind." I swallow slowly, knowing that this was an order. I walk timidly back towards his desk and drop downwards into the visitor's chair he is gesturing towards, opposite his own behind the enormous desk. I listen to the sound of Eric's heavy boots hit the floor loudly, echoing his movements until he's standing restlessly beside Max. I cringe as I run a hand through my twisted and extremely dry hair situation, a cloud of pink powder surrounding me. Max chuckles, his lips twitching upwards before his somber expression moves back onto his face.

"You are aware that this year we have decided to make a rare exception and open up the Leadership position." He smirks as I furrow my brows- his words making me think back to the time when Melody and I got halted by him and Eric, only to have him utter the same words he is repeating in front of me in this moment. They are also making me contemplate about whether my presence here has anything to do with the leadership training leaflet I found on Eric's dining table.

"Yes," I reply formally, happy that my voice doesn't break. He nods, bending over to pull open one of his messy-looking drawers to reveal the exact same leaflet lingering in my thoughts just mere moments ago. He extends his arm and hands it to me over the table with a tight smile.

"From what Eric has been saying and from your final results of your Initiation, you have proved yourself worthy for our consideration in this post." I steal a glance at Eric, who stands rigid beside Max, his steely and intense stare not leaving me. I look back at the leaflet on my lap, pretending to look over the information that isn't new to my eyes. The air grows thick with silence and I find myself feeling mildly uncomfortable, knowing that they are both waiting for my answer.

"Who's in charge of the training?" I wonder out loud, placing the leaflet on the desk before placing my hands on my lap nervously. Max smirks, his eye answering my question as they travel to my boyfriend with a painfully clenched jaw.

"No pressure, Tris. You still have another week until you can make up your choice. I just think that this is a big decision and so it would be better if I gave you a heads-up. Also, try not to tell any of your friends about this. If they ask what you are leaning against, say you are still unsure and that your meeting has been scheduled to a later date." He raises a brow and I send him sort-of a smile.

Max slides a clean form across the desk and only when it's in my hands I begin reading through the information. _It is the form I need to fill out with all my information; if I choose to accept the position in the program._

"Think about it. When you've chosen just fill out these simple questions and hand it back to me whenever." He bobs his head once and I know that it's time for me to leave. I stand up and thank him in an official manner, clutching the paper tightly in my hand. I look at Eric who forwards me a we'll-talk-when-I-get-home glare.

Great.

I begin to walk out but as soon as my hand curls over the doorknob, I swiftly turn around once my name echoes through the room once more.

"Don't hesitate to come ask me anything about it. Or Eric." Max grins knowingly and I blush, thanking him in a weak voice before sauntering out of the room before I hear the word 'Tris' one more time.

Eric corners me in a dim hallway on the way back to his apartment. He snarls my name at me, causing me to freeze in my tracks- afraid to turn around and meet his lethal and malicious glare. I don't need to because he moves to stand in front of me, leaving sheer inches between us. He glowers down at me silently and I look down, feeling culpable for the paint war and the fact that I chose not to tell him.

Instead of shouting at me, or telling me that I'm too immature for his taste- I catch him exhale deeply, relaxing his posture the slightest bit before moving to grab my wrist achingly firmly. I wince and he either doesn't hear me or just chooses to ignore me as he leads me down towards the elevators, leading us back to his apartment. I pray that the anger radiating off of him currently diffuses out of him by the time we reach his front door, but deep down, I know that this isn't going to be the case.

Eric has given me the silent treatment during our short journey back to his place, which also continues after we walk through the front door. He slams it shut using too much force, making me jump out of my skin. I walk over to the dining area and place my application form beside the leaflet and I am definitely caught by surprise when Eric- out of nowhere grabs my hand and shoves me into the bathroom before perching me on top of the dark sink counter. He then disappears out of the bathroom and I sit there, pondering about how on earth I will be able to get rid of the stains.

When Eric reappears back in front of me, I take note of how his crisp uniform jacket is missing and I find myself wishing that the scowl he's wearing on his handsome features should have done the same. I widen my eyes at the pocket knife he pulls out just as he begins edging towards me swiftly.

"What...oh!" I gasp before being able to form a proper sentence, as Eric uses it to carefully and methodically cut through the thin fabric of my shirt. He then rips it off my body and my leggings follow the same consequences. He scowls darkly, the piercing above his eyebrow glinting in the light, accentuating how dark the shadow below his brow bone really is in this moment of frustration.

I don't cover myself instinctively when he moves towards the towels cabinet while I linger atop of the counter wearing a bra and my underwear. He pulls out a small, coal-colored towel before silently pressing his palm on my waist to get me out of the way as he throws it under the warm current of the modern, bathroom faucet. Eric uses one palm to violently squeeze out any water soaked through the towel before pressing it onto my face, which I saw was caked with all sorts of colors as soon as I entered the bathroom.

I grab his wrist gently and he stiffens immediately, cold and grey eyes fixated on every feature of my face except for my eyes. I watch as his grasp on the fabric tightens, his jaw clenching simultaneously.

"Eric," I mumble, sliding my fingers down his wrist and onto his forearm before following the trail back up. He relaxes slightly, but not enough for me to not feel the exasperation seeping out of his aura. "I know you probably hate people saying this, but I'm sorry. I really am. If I had known that you would be so angry about this...this stupid game, I would have never agreed to helping my friends." He finally shifts his eyes towards mine and I catch a flash of relief zoom through them. I can drown in that grey color, no matter how much fury they hold. My knees spread outwards as he takes a step towards me before bending over and pressing his lips on the crook of my neck. I sigh, my insides burning and accelerating with excitement and fondness to his touch. His rough touch. He nips on my neck, causing me to hiss as the jolt of the pain that I don't mind him inflicting upon me rushes through my veins. He captures the flesh against my throat with his teeth and my fingers instantaneously find his hair, tucking at the longer, messy part on the top of his head. I wriggle against him and he holds onto my hip solidly and excruciatingly firmly. I know Eric gets really turned on by the bruises and little love-bites he gifts me with. And I know for a fact that I get as equally turned on as he does during the process of me getting gifted with the bruises and little love-bites. And of coarse I love it when he purrs out sweet nothings that increase the warm tension in my core.

"You should shower. Your hair looks like they've let Amity kids play with unicorn shit."

Oh yes, this is exactly what I meant.

I laugh and I feel his smirk against my skin before he moves away. I find myself scowling at the emptiness of the air around my neck as it reminds me that instead of having Eric walk away from me, I could have him around me in this very moment.

Ignoring my unholy thoughts about the man in the living room, I slide off the counter- smiling lightly at the light, purple marks on my lips and the pink blemishes on my throat.

It takes years for the paint and powder to finally flee through the shower drain. I had Eric knock on the door five times up to now; asking me if I am still alive. The third time he calls, I begin getting frustrated, not at him, but at the fact that I know that I'm beginning to take too much time. I was so concentrated on answering Eric without letting go of my cool, I did not acknowledge the fact that I had squeezed nearly half of the shampoo onto my head, which ended up going in my eyes- causing me to cry like a child. Not because of the bitter pain but because I knew that my time under the shower had just prolonged itself by my own hand.

I wrap an inky-blue towel around me before emerging out into the bedroom. A shirtless Eric- wearing tight, black boxers only- is busy frowning at something on his phone, but his expression changes as soon as I enter the room. It softens to an extent. The corner of his lips curl up in amusement as I rub my red eyes tiredly as I pray that my hair would dry quicker.

"What time is it?" I ask as I continue my travel towards the extremely comfortable-looking bed. His eyes trail down my body before leaving me for a split second to check on the time.

He smirks smugly before answering. "Half past twelve. You certainly had the evening of your lifetime." I send him a glare which makes him chuckle and roll over until he's closer to me.

"That's not exactly true," I answer honestly, my level of tiredness preventing me from picking up on the obvious sarcasm laced in his words. "The evening of my lifetime was last night...and probably my first time with you."

I blush at my words, glancing at how the cockiness in his features disappears and he genuinely looks content. "Likewise," he admits quietly- so quietly to the point where I barely picked out the word from the air. Saving him from the awkwardness, I choose to pretend that I did not hear and if I did- I'm not going to make a big deal out of it, which looks like it sort-of relieves him.

I walk to Marlene's duffel bag and begin searching for comfortable underwear and my own pajama shirt.

The whole time, I feel Eric's hard stare follow me. "Ah, so you _have_ decided to move in with me."

I hastily put my clothes on before sending him a funny look. He's on his side, sprawled across the bed- biting his bottom lip as he analyzes my every move carefully.

"You wish. I'm gonna have a nice apartment far far away from anyone I know, including you. Well actually, maybe I'll tell you just in case I get a little bored." He throws me a nasty grimace, his eyebrows knitted together.

"Illogical," he states, his Erudite clearly showing. "What's the point of occupying a residence if you will be with me all the time?" I giggle, jumping onto the bed before trying to move over him and onto my side. However, he captures my waist impatiently and I am forced to straddle his lap before he sits up- still holding me between his legs.

"I just want to have a place that I can call my own. I've always lived in a space with other people. I want to have an apartment with my own bed and my own kitchen, regardless of how small and simple it is." I counter, wrapping my legs around his waist as my arms follow the same suit around my his neck.

"You can call this place your own. This _is_ your bed and this is your kitchen." He counters and I sigh, too tired to fight with him today. But that definitely does not mean that he won this argument. I _will_ get my apartment, even if it means that I have to enter a physical battle against Eric to get a key-card. He smirks cockily, bending over to press his lips against my own. They move in sync, his tongue dominating every inch of my mouth. But I know that making out is as far as we will go today. He and I both know, hopefully.

This time I'm the one who breaks the kiss and continues peppering more of them down his sharp jawline, grinning into them when the light stubble gives away the fact that he hasn't shaved these days. They follow down the black blocks of ink tattooed on either sides of his throat from which a pleased, guttural sound escapes. When I stop and move away slightly, I know Eric isn't happy the slightest bit, and his stare says it all.

"What do you think I should do about the Leadership's apprentice program?" I ask, edging away until I can slide in the covers, ignoring the darker frown cast over his face.

"You'll accept the position." His tone is clipped and absolute and only then I realize that there is no going against his words. Not about this and definitely not about the apartment. Although with the latter I _will_ have my way.

"Alright, but isn't there anything else that I may..."

"No," Eric continues hurling short, unarguable statements back at me as he moves back towards me, pulling the covers over him too. He then holds me possessively against him, and we're so close I can hear his heart pumping. I nod against him, yawning as I feel him relax before sliding downwards and onto his pillow. I wriggle around until my body is facing him.

"You aren't leaving me." He says firmly, looking down at me as I sleepily gaze upwards towards him. It is an awkward angle, so I look down and press my face against his chest, his body heat warming me up pleasantly. He drapes a heavy calf over my legs and uses it as an anchor to pull me impossibly closer to him.

He murmurs something into my hair and I only pick out the words 'I'll' and "Leadership position." I'm too tired to keep my eyes open, so I just mumble back that I agree with whatever he just said and then I fall back into a deep slumber.

I wake up alone in this huge, empty bed.

Frowning, I wrap my arms around myself to prevent me from shivering as I slide out of the covers gracelessly.

Eric is nowhere to be found in the apartment.

I pull open the charcoal curtains and allow the sweet rays of the late morning sun to enter. I feel like I can physically hear Eric hissing at me to close the blinds, which makes me smile. Walking towards the duffel bag, I think to myself how I'll need to go back to the dorm-room to get more clothes. Or an apartment. But I know that Eric will definitely dismiss my second choice and that he will happily volunteer to go bring all my clothes back here.

I set my outfit on the bed before sauntering towards the kitchen, where I begin heating up water in the kettle for coffee. I put my hair up in a messy bun after the deed is done and I start my way back to the bedroom before the emptiness of the dining table catches my eye. I take a few tentative steps towards it, as if there was an explosive device ready to obliterate anything and everything around me. In the center, I see a small, yellow sticky note.

I bent over, slowly unfastening it off of the table surface before reading the message in freakishly neat and perfectly readable handwriting which no doubt belongs to Eric.

 _In a meeting,_

 _You looked too cute for me to wake you up. But you still got your good-morning kiss._

 _Eric_

I blush heavily as I neatly fold the sticky note before practically jogging back to put it in the duffel-bag's pocket.

Until I freeze in my tracks, a shiver running through me. I begin walking backwards, frowning as I think of a logical reason as to why it's missing. When I arrive back in front of the table, my heart starts racing, just in time when the kettle starts screeching at me.

My Leadership Application Form is gone.

 **A/N**

 **120 follows?! That seems insane to the eyes of a person who began writing this story with the thought that she won't even reach 10! Thank you so so much to every single one of you's for continuing to follow/favorite and even review the fic. I am eternally grateful and extremely inspired these days lol.**

 **Kisses,**

 **N**


	32. Hiatus

"Motherfucker!"

I curse at no one in particular as my hip bone makes painful contact with the edge of the table as I attempt to move past it. I clutch myself for a heartbeat longer before exhaling sharply through gritted teeth and continuing my way towards the bedroom where I hastily put on my outfit of the day; the anger forcing me to forget about the intended actions of wanting to take a bubble bath. My piercings catch on the fabric of my shirt and I vocally wince out in pain but that doesn't stop me from continuing on with my mission. I practically sprint towards the bathroom where I brush my teeth so violently I cut my gum and my mouth quickly begins to fill up with my own blood.

 _I am definitely beginning to believe that the mornings where I'm left to wake up alone in Eric's apartment are cursed ones._

After successfully getting ready without any more frustrating interruptions; I run to switch the kettle off- my morning cup of coffee long forgotten at this point. Instead of tying my boots; the confusion and irritation at the missing state of my work form causes me to tuck my laces inside my boots. I swing open the front door; only to collide with the larger form of the elder leader.

"Oh Tris, good morning!" He chirps in, putting a hand on my shoulder to steady me from falling. I return the greeting, my breathing ragged even though I haven't done much except open the door and run into Max. He furrows his brows at me before taking a peak into the apartment.

"Is Eric home? I'd like to tell him that the scheduled meeting has been cancelled. He didn't arrive on time and he hasn't responded to any of my messages and so I decided to pop by...but I don't think he's home, hm?" He raises a brow in question and I shake my head fervently.

"Uh, no he isn't home at the moment. We haven't seen each other this morning and all he did was leave me a note telling me that he's out for a meeting." I raise my shoulders slightly and watch intently at the way Max's face contorts into a thoughtful stare.

"He might be in the Control Room. Could you please check for me and let him know? I have to meet Jeanine back in Erudite in fifteen minutes, and those darn scientists always frown upon late arrivals!" He chuckles warmly, making me break into a small smile- even though I feel nowhere near being happy. "No worries. I'll tell him you passed by." He stares for a moment before nodding once before saying goodbye. I watch him walk away and further down the corridor before I find myself calling after him.

"Could I come by your office sometime later? I was thinking of asking you if there is any chance for me to be moving in on my own." He cocks his head to the side and sends me an amused glance.

"My dear, no offense but I would've thought that you two might move in together or something. Oh well, you know best. Of course you can come. I'll be back at around two. So pass by whenever." Max winks and with that I am once again left in the hallway in front of Eric's apartment.

* * *

The Control Room looks like nothing I would have imagined it to be.

It is on the eighth floor of the Glass Building. I walk into it and it takes a moment for my eyes to regulate to the different setting. The wall opposite me is entirely made up of huge screens, and each of them show a different part of the city, including areas of the Fence, the Hub, the streets in Abnegation's sector and of course, the ground level of the Dauntless headquarters. There are desks and chairs everywhere- with many familiar and unfamiliar forms and faces moving around and controlling whatever is going on in front of them. On the left side of the room- there is one screen with a running line of code- which all speaks nonsense to my eyes.

There is an office area on the other side- with desks and more computer screens highlighting more designated areas of our compound. I catch Four bent over one of the desks as he points at something on the computer screen in front of Zeke- who is talking rapidly and for once doesn't look amused. I sense tension in the room, but I am relieved that no one has noticed my entrance. Until Eric does.

"Tris." I avert my eyes back towards the wall with screens and desks, only to see him reclined in a chair that has been twisted to face my direction. I note how his hair looks shorter at the sides and more trimmed on top- which makes me believe that he must've gotten a haircut before heading to the cancelled meeting. He looks very handsome, especially in his dark, crisp uniform with his collar popping just enough for one to visibly catch a glance at his leadership tattoos. The corners of his lips curl up, giving away how pleased he is that I'm here. But I'm not here to have a casual chat with him. He gestures me to come over and I hesitate before stepping up. When I am close enough he palms my waist and sits me on his lap before turning us back towards the screens- potentially blocking any nosy and curious stares thrown into our direction.

"Hey." He drawls the word out lazily whilst tucking on the few strands of hair that have fallen out of my messy bun. I take a deep breath before smiling at him.

"Hi Eric. Your meeting was cancelled. Max has been looking for you, until ten minutes ago when he came to the apartment. He told me to check in here to tell you just in case you didn't receive his texts. He went to Erudite and said he won't be back until two." Eric frowns, staring at my collar-bone tattoo- nodding ever so slightly after every sentence I utter. He listens patiently until I finish.

"I know. Harrison told me after I got my haircut. And I did respond to his texts, he just hasn't noticed." He rolls his eyes before holding mine. I snake my arms around his neck, my fingers lightly grazing over the dark blocks of ink on his neck. He groans, moving forward until his lips touch mine. I make a soft noise of objection but that becomes quickly swallowed up by his passionate kiss. He then moves to rest his forehead against my cheek; his head slightly tilted to the side- the cold, metal feeling of his eyebrow studs sending a tiny shudder through me.

"I wanted to talk to you about something." He hums, not opening his eyes as he waits for me to continue- my hair still trapped in his grasp.

"I noticed that my Leadership application slip wasn't on the table today. And I haven't moved it since yesterday so I wanted to know where you put it," I whisper- knowing that here isn't the place for us to talk about something like this. But I do it anyway.

I watch as he locks his jaw tightly, pursing his lips into a thin line before slowly opening his eyes to stare up at me.

"I took it," he tells me earnestly; and I find myself seeping with irritation at the fact that he so honestly told me.

A moment later his clutch on my hair tightens just as I build up enough courage to ask him something else. "Why?" I press. He continues to stare at me, his grey eyes checking out every inch of my face.

When he finally opens his mouth to speak, someone clears their throat from behind us.

"Eric?" Four's deep voice slices through the silence between us and I look up at him, holding a stack of paperwork and document files. I hear Eric make a noise of utter displeasure before he glares up at him. Four chooses to ignore his rival's death-stares and just sends me a tight smile before training his eyes back to the leader. He waves the documents in hand.

"You have requested access to the...uh...Leadership records." It sounds more like a question, but Eric just reaches over and snatches them out of his hand before nodding at him in a formal manner. Four returns the gesture, narrowing his eyes as they wash over the paperwork now perched on Eric's right knee and me on his left.

"I'll see you around Tris." He walks off before I can reply and I brush off the way Eric's chest rumbles sullenly at Four's nice words. I turn to stare back at Eric who is busy writing up neat notes on a clean sheet of paper over the printed forms.

"Well?" I ask impatiently- although deep down I think we both know that I know the answer. He drops the pen on the desk before moving to cup the neglected side of my waist. Before he can respond we are interrupted by Melody's high-pitched squeal of my name.

"I didn't know you were here- oh." She bites back whatever she wanted to say as she rounds up around the desk, only to meet not only Eric's but my own irritated glower. I claim his lips as my own before brushing mine gently over his ear.

"We'll talk later." Eric doesn't look too happy as I get off of his lap, but sends me a lopsided smile nonetheless before returning back to whatever he was doing and my friend makes a face- tucking on my hand. I shed one last glance at Eric when Melody goes to kiss Four goodbye and he catches me staring- responding with his trademark smirk.

I roll my eyes at him and he claps a hand over his heart in a mocking manner. I blow him a kiss but I don't get a chance to see his reaction since Melody appears out of nowhere and leads me out of the Control Room.

* * *

"Ugh I need clothes!" Melody exclaims as she drags me through the hallway leading to the stores. I haven't really had time to explore this specific section of the compound. In fact, I think I've only been down here once and that was way back when Christina was still around. My stomach drops unpleasantly and I scrunch my nose at the thought of mere her.

 _Although I do wonder how her life is going._

"Basically I'm moving in with Four and he promised me that I can buy a thing or two for the apartment to make it cozier." She waves a pretty, black point card and I can only assume that it belongs to her lover- because Max told our initiation class that we would receive ours in the following week or so.

"I'm going through a dilemma." I mumble, ignoring how quickly she snaps her head back towards me. "I want to move into my own apartment, but then I sooo don't want that to happen. I'm so used to having Eric around me, but at the same time I want to have a place of my own. And the worst thing is also that Eric doesn't want me to move out whatsoever, and I'm having troubles talking to him about it. Because I think you can guess how stubborn he is." She snickers before interlinking her arm through mine.

"As much as I know that you're really eager about wanting an apartment of your own- it's gonna suck at night; because you'll want him to be around you. Like I get it- parties...I mean _gatherings_ in your case," she corrects herself whilst grinning evilly and I laugh. "It's fun to an extent, but do you really want to sleep on your own? It's way more fun when you're with him. Mind you, my relationship with Four is going slow. It only ever increased in pace these weeks but we were basically what you were with Eric for months until we broke up. I'd linger around his apartment and he'd gotten so used to me being around him, he asked me to move in with him. Told him I would after Initiation and here I am now! So trust me when I tell you that in your current state now, you will want to move in...but deep down you won't." She sucks in a breath through her teeth before beaming at me youthfully.

"Thank you, Mel. If it wasn't for you and your advice I don't know what I would have done without you." She smirks, eyes glittering glossily as she tightens her grasp around me.

We go through every single store- spending forty-five minutes to an hour in each one. I either sulk around giving my opinion or I find myself thrown into a changing room with a dress or a top that is way too revealing for my liking. I did end up choosing a nice, wine-red sports bra. As we walk to the store's checkout area; Melody eyes the sport's bra approvingly before attempting to snatch it off me and hide it under the millions of things she's getting ready to buy.

"Tris, it's just a bra. Let me buy it for you," she pleads; her green eyes wide and bright.

I shake my head mulishly, pressing the material against my chest. "Nope. And besides, it's not you who's paying; it's Four. And I doubt neither he nor Eric would be too happy if they hear that Four's point card bought me a bra." Melody huffs in exasperation, but to my relief she doesn't dwell on it.

I hand over my bra to the Dauntless store lady and she checks me up and down.

"Initiate right?" I nod firmly and she scans the barcode. "If you don't have your point's card yet, just leave me your full name and I'm gonna make the transaction later." She smiles warily and I accept the piece of paper on which I nicely write down ' _Tris Prior'._ By the end, I am needed to carry some of Melody's hundreds of purchases.

"Thanks! Now let's go unpack and then maybe I can take you to the best place to eat here!" We laugh as we make our way to Four's apartment.

* * *

The apartment walls are plain white except for the words "Fear God Alone" painted on one of them. There is an attached bedroom and refrigerator in the corner of the room. We move across the wide space before placing the shopping bags onto the floor surrounding the bed. I run my fingers over the pretty blue patchwork quilt spread over the duvet and I look around- thinking about how the design and aura has nothing to do with anything found in Eric's apartment. Here it's airy and brightly lit- due to the large windows decorating one of the walls. Simplicity plays a huge role in here since Four wasted no points on any extra designs or even bookshelves. There is a desk and a chair and on the wall opposite the bed, there is a tiny mirror. My heart leaps in my throat as the simplicity begins reminding me of my own home back in Abnegation. My old life. As much as I miss my parents- I would never trade my life here in Dauntless for a day in Abnegation.

I glance at the wall clock in the living room and take note of how it's three-thirty.

"Shit," I mutter loudly as I make my way to the door.

"Hey! Where you goin'?" Melody's voice echoes through the bare walls until it reaches me.

I groan as my hand curls around the door handle. "I gotta go meet Max and talk to him about the...room assignment. He said I should meet him at two but I guess we lost track of time when we were shopping. Can I meet you later in the Pit and you can show me a nice place with good food?" My eyebrows shoot up as she finally appears in my sight- her own eyebrows slightly knitted together.

"Mhhh-mmm sure thing! Do what you know is right. See ya later." She waves me off and I make my way to Max's office, my mind exploding with dozens of different questions.

* * *

I bounce on my heels as I eyeball the gold plate with Max's full name decorating the top center of the door before knocking timidly.

There is an eerie silence responding to my knock until the elder leader's voice cracks it up. He beckons me to come inside and I take a deep breath before entering.

I move to close the door behind me before taking acknowledgement at the fact that he was- in fact- not alone.

"Sorry I was late, I was...-" The hairs on my neck jolt up in the same manner as my heart. I meet the cold and wondering eyes of the younger leader who is propped beside Max; who is leaning against his desk.

"Ah no worries no worries. We were just talking about you!" Max invites me to come closer and I hesitate, still caught up in mine and Eric's surprise stare-down competition. The corners of his lips twitch up in mock amusement and he nods stiffly. Only then I begin edging closer to them.

I stand in the middle of the office holding my wrist nervously- something I've realized I do often whenever I am nervous. As if following a script; Max excuses himself to take a phone call and I am left alone with Eric and the deadly silence. I make the mistake of glancing up at him and I immediately melt under his hungry stare. He eyes me up and down- as if checking me out for the first time in his life- before sending me a lopsided smile, one that makes my insides burn pleasantly.

I am just about to open my mouth and say something before Max barges back in, thrilled and more excited than ever. "Sorry about that. Now where were we? Ah yes! Tris, I'm so happy that you made up your mind so quickly!" He grins widely and Eric chuckles at my confused expression.

"I uh, I don't think I'm following what you're...-"

"Nonsense!" He waves my words off with the flick of his wrist before seizing a sheet of paper off of his messy desk and handing it back to me. I chew on my bottom lip as I accept it from his hold. My eyes skim over the information quickly and that's enough for my blood to run cold. I can't help how my lips part in utter surprise just as I can't stop my other palm from curling into a fist until my knuckles turn white.

 _That asshole._

"Are you okay, child? You look like you've just been told that you're becoming Factionless," Max's words bring me back and I try my best not to flinch when he lightly touches my shoulder in reassurance. I shake my head rapidly, avoiding any eye contact with the _other_ individual.

"Yeah I'm fine. Perfectly fine." My words sound very forced out as I re-read all of the answers written out in Eric's neat, Erudite handwriting. My full name; my Faction of origin; my chosen Faction; my age; my date of birth; my school and a sentence where 'I' accept the position in the program. Everything is right in front of my eyes. I feel them widen when I see how he declined the slot where they asked me if I want to be assigned to my own personal quarters. "I'm a little shocked at how fast you have received it. That's it." He shrugs before turning back to walk towards the young leader, who looks smug and proud with his chin jutted out.

 _Oh how I wish I could punch that smirk off of his face._

"I would have gotten it later if it weren't for Eric who came by not long ago and offered to hand it over to me before you since he saw it set aside."

"Well I was sure that Tris would appreciate me helping out." The Devil finally speaks and I scowl marginally in his direction.

Plastering on the fakest of smiles, I say; "You're the sweetest. Thank you." He grins at my acting, his eyebrows arching upwards and I stomp my foot lightly to halt the itch of wanting to stalk up to him and head-butt him right in the piercings. "Although..." I trail off dramatically, taking slow and deliberate steps closer to Max. I smirk at the way Eric's face darkens because I know for a fact that he's read my mind.

"Max, I filled this in yesterday after all of the events...after the unexpected meeting...so I was clearly very tired. I must have accidentally ticked to wrong column over here." I throw the sheet under his nose and point at the residence row. Eric cranes his neck in an attempt to see but I move the sheet out of his sight. I hear him growl but he doesn't take a step or do anything. Max hums before sneaking a glance at his fellow leader.

"I see. Are you sure about this? Have you spoke...-"

"Everything has been settled and done with," I cut in gleefully, sending him a toothy grin. He rubs the back of his neck before walking around his desk.

"Well, I suppose that can be sorted. You can pass by the housing administration and talk to them. If they begin interrogating you in any sort of way just tell them that you are following my orders," he says in a very serious manner and if I wasn't being stared at by the most intimidating men in Dauntless, I would be jumping and skipping and bouncing victoriously.

My face must be screaming 'victory' because when I turn to stare at Eric- I watch a flash of fury and sadness hurry through his stormy eyes. He purses his lips and widens his stance by straightening his back and squaring his shoulders. I thank Max a couple of times before walking up towards my leader and tiptoeing up until I can give him a chaste kiss. He throws me a fake smile which only adds up to the happiness in my stomach, although I will admit that deep down this wasn't how I wanted things to end up.

* * *

"Tris Prior?" She scowls at me and hauls my name at me as if it were the biggest insult in the world. I want to confront her and slap her overdrawn, red lipstick off of her plumped up, plastic lips; but all I do is smirk at her as I tell her that I'm here under the orders of the strongest man in Dauntless.

"If you could just fill this in," she says through gritted teeth but the way her mouth quickly snaps shut after saying it tells me that there was more. I raise my brows as I impatiently wait for her to just ask me whatever the fuck she wants to say to my face. When nothing comes through, I roll my eyes and take the paper from her before filling in my basic information. My brain hurts with the amount of times I have been asked to write out my information these days.

 _Oh well, at least Eric helped me out with one form._

I scoff at my sarcastic thoughts and the woman behind the housing desk glares at me, the ends of her lips twitching downwards.

"Can I help you?" I ask her as my own eyes squint when she doesn't look away after a heartbeat longer. She mutters something under her breath but I don't hear it over the massive desk. She then leans over the surface, her straw blonde hair falling over her exposed cleavage until she brushes it off her shoulders. It is visible that she is debating over whether she should answer back or she should just take the written sheet back. Clearly, she chose the path the norm likes to follow.

"So are the rumors true?" Her honey-sweet voice puts me off horribly and I can't conceal my cringe.

"What rumors?" I snarl back, done with all the gossip going round the compound.

"Pfft." She snorts before continuing. "Eric picked _you_? I mean, don't get me wrong but you don't look special enough to have been able to catch his eye." She snickers and I grit my teeth painfully. When I don't answer, she scoffs and hands me a key-card.

"Leadership hallway, down the left. Apartment 106. If you choose to move out...heh...give back the key. I'd ask if you'd like assistance with finding the apartment, but I'm pretty sure you're _very_ familiar with the Leadership apartments." She chortles again and I run out of patience. Without really putting much thought into my actions, I lean over the desk and grab her by her collar. She gasps in surprise and I pull her towards me, ignoring how she winces out in pain as her ribs slam against the metal surface.

"Whatever happens between me and Eric; stays between me and Eric. Got it bitch?" The curse word slips out accidentally but she is nodding rapidly nonetheless. I smile at her cruelly, my grip fastening more and more until she makes a chocking sound. "I mean, don't get me wrong but I doubt he'd go for someone who looks like they've washed their hair with bleach and has lips that seem like they're close to popping. Thank you for your assistance." I yank her backwards using her throat and she stumbles on her heels before landing back into her chair. There are faint red marks on throat and she lightly strokes them with her fingers whilst sending me a nasty glare. I grin and wink in her direction before marching out of the office- slamming the heavy door for extra dramatic effect.

* * *

Apartment 106 looks amazing.

It is large...a little too large for my own simplistic liking but I can work with it. The interior design is very similar to Eric's one (except there are more colors in here); a hallway which leads to a wide living room connected to the modern kitchen; a bathroom with pretty tiles and a bathtub; a guest hallway with an extra bathroom and a bedroom and the master bedroom with my bathroom. A knot loosens in my stomach when I take note of how it is completely furnished, give or take some bits and pieces here and there which I have no problem running down and buying the necessary things needed to complete its look.

But it still feels different.

Empty.

I brush the feeling off and switch the light off before heading towards the front door. I close it quietly and catch movement happening from my peripheral view. I glance sideways and my lips part as I see Eric closing his own door at the same time as I do. He isn't wearing his normal, dark uniform attire. Instead, he is wearing dark grey sweatpants and a black vest which hides none of his muscle curves and bulges.

 _He's probably going to train or something._

Eric doesn't acknowledge my existence until he begins moving down the hallway- then he stops short in his tracks. I stare as his bottom lip drops slightly and from the close distance between us, I see how he sucks in a breath quickly just as his posture relaxes. That's until he scowls at me.

"Hi neighbor." I smile, even though my insides churn unpleasantly. Eric continues staring at me and I begin feeling small under his gaze. I wrap my arms around myself and look down, only to jump up and grasp his bicep when he moves to brush past me.

"No, you aren't allowed to be mad at me." I state firmly and a little part of me wakes up when I catch his features relax after he begins fighting a smirk.

He clears his throat before looking down at me; his body still facing the corridor and his bicep still in my reach. "Oh really? You aren't allowed to be mad at me too," he counters, voice deep, rich and low. I widen my eyes before gritting my teeth and pressing his arm harder. He doesn't flinch or wince and that's probably because he probably can't even feel my 'painful grasp.'

"I am. You didn't even tell me that you filled out _my_ form. I wouldn't have been mad at all if you told me," I point out and Eric finally shifts his frame towards me.

Next thing I know; he slams me against my front door, his hot breath against my jutted out jaw while his fingers toy with the ends of my top. "Ah, but the thing is; I did tell you." I shut my eyes and nearly miss his words because my body is too overwhelmed by his little touches...and the way his hand begins sliding inside and up my shirt. I try and swat him away, knowing very well that he knows I can't think straight when he's touching me. My mission is unsuccessful because my free hand gets caught by Eric's other hand and so now he's got my wrist trapped above my head in one hand, while his other one is grazing the fabric of my bra.

"When...oh...-" I groan and push my neck towards him, craving for his lips to touch my flesh. He reads my mind, licking his lips as he bends down lower and; pressing kisses on my neck painfully slowly, whilst continuing with our conversation. "Yesterday...in bed...I specifically told you...that...I'll fill in the Leadership form...for you." I moan and my body arches into his. It is a sinful little game he's playing; one that equally excites me just as much as it irritates me how I can't think straight. That's until he moves back to stare at me, steel eyes trained to my lips.

I take the pause for the time when I begin regulating my breaths while simultaneously thinking about what he means.

 _Fuck..he's talking about the time when I was about to crash and he murmured something against my hair. Something about the Leadership form and I blindly agreed. How would he have known that I wasn't listening._

"Oh." I slump downwards against the door until I am sat on the floor with my knees close to my chest. He looks down at me before crossing his arms against his chest and tapping his foot.

"Oh?" He parrots questioningly. I nod slowly, running a hand through my hair. "I remember now. Well not really...look." I pick myself up before continuing my explanation. "I vaguely remember you saying something about the Leadership position yesterday, and I only agreed to whatever you said because I was tired! I wasn't thinking! I'm sorry for being mad at you...although I wasn't really. I was planning on accepting the position anyway." I send him a smile and my heart skips a beat when his frown turns into a look of pride. One that he used to wear after an extremely bloody battle during Initiation.

But that disappears just as quickly as it appeared, and it is now replaced with a scowl. "Why would you get an apartment? I know you want to live on your own, but do you really?" I can see how hard it is for Eric to conceal his usual cockiness and smugness laced in his words, but I'll give him props for trying at least .

"Well, I was actually planning on surprising you and not getting an apartment, but then this whole misunderstanding with the Leadership program came to light...and when I saw you and your stupid smirk in Max's office, I just wanted to get back at you. And so now I'm stuck with this apartment." I tap the door with my knuckle and he frowns harder before shaking his head.

"What am I going to do with you Tris?" I chortle happily, my cheeks reddening slightly at the desperation and hunger laced in his words. "Kiss me?" I answer innocently and he looks up at me immediately. He lunges for my lips, like an animal deprived of water for days. His hand moves back inside my shirt while he rocks his hips against mine in a swaying manner. Even though we're both fully clothed, I can still feel the hardness of his growing erection. I moan in his mouth, giving his tongue a free entrance pass.

"Eric..." I bite my swollen lip when he moves to kiss my collarbone and downwards. He latches onto one specific spot at the top of my breast area and I jerk around in shock. I hiss after a few seconds but that stops when he trails his tongue over the area to soothe the pain. My fingers work through his hair, toying with the longer part on top. He groans against me and the rumble makes me sigh heavily.

I don't even know how I end up getting picked up and slammed against the door. I move my legs to curl up around his waist and he smashes my body against the door again. And again. And while that's happening, he is ferociously kissing me. One moment, he's capturing my bottom lip and biting down on it, hard enough for the coppery taste of my own blood to linger onto my taste buds. Another moment he's barely even touching my lips with his own. It's soft and sweet. Violent and hungry. Millions of combinations all thrown at me on the spot. I don't even realize that he's somehow managed to move his hand down my pants and is now sliding his fingers through my underwear.

I gasp at the shock but this time there is no pause for me to take a breath. He moves to claim my mouth just as his fingers works over my core in a fast pace. I growl and mewl, and it takes all of me to stop him from giving me pleasure. He frowns at my rejection but I shake my head, still panting like a wild dog.

"I wanna pleasure you this time. It's not fair if you always do everything." His eyes widen and I think this is one of the only times when I catch Eric lost of words, unable to add up calculations and explanations to the situation. I work over his zipper with trembling hands, but because I don't feel like today is a teasing day, my actions are quick and so I don't think he sees them. I shove his boxers partly downwards and he pulls up his vest up helpfully. I bite my lip with trepidation and look at him.

Eric's grey eyes are clouded with lust and his breaths are quick and short...and I haven't even touched him yet except for my hand gripping the side of his sweatpants.

"You're gonna have to help me out here." He lets out a quiet grunt and I can only assume that that's his way of agreeing with my statement.

"Start slow," he mumbles, hovering his hand over my head until his fingers are intertwined with my locks and his nails are scraping my scalp. I crouch downwards and rest on my knees for comfort- even though the mere idea that I'm gonna pleasure Eric in the Leadership hallway is nowhere near comforting.

My hand makes contact with his hard rock member and he stifles a moan as he begins pulling at my hair. Gradually, I become more confident with my movements and I think Eric definitely appreciates it; even more so as he assists with the friction when he begins rocking his hips in sync with my hand motions. Soon after, I take him in my mouth and I try to shove back my gag reflexes out of the way as I push him deeper than I would push food down my mouth. He curses loudly, one hand punching against my door and the other one gripping my hair tightly as he moves my head slowly. I mewl and the vibrations get him off quicker. Eric moans out my name, letting the one-syllable word rest against his tongue before it rolls off gracefully. I work back and forth over his member, until I reach his shaft.

At one point, he throws out- "Less teeth," before trying not to wince in my mouth. I try to apologize, completely forgetting that I'm in the middle of giving the young leader a blowjob in the center of a hallway. Anyone can walk into the corridor and I will probably die in shame in the very spot I am in right now. Eric, however, I believe will be smug and proud about it. It isn't really a surprise if you see a Dauntless couple get a little too cozy around the public places of the compound and sex is something people aren't ashamed of freely talking about here; but I certainly don't want to be caught.

As much as I find enjoyment in pleasuring Eric, I do wish this was all over faster; or at least I wish we could've started in the safety of the apartment. Nonetheless, I'm having fun listening to his moans and curses above me while he shoves my head until I nearly choke on his cock. Suddenly, I feel his thighs clench hard which is closely followed by another curse word, accompanied with his grip and movements becoming more slopping. He releases a liquid in my mouth that I have only read about secretly back in Abnegation. Scrunching my nose, I swallow it wordlessly; recalling how Marlene said that 'they find it hot.' It isn't bad but it isn't pleasant either and I believe it is fair that I would do it again for him. Although I did enjoy the experience too.

He rests his head against his forearm pinned over the door, his torso moving rapidly and in sync with his shallow breaths. I glide up, beaming at his glare-less features and slightly flushed cheeks. He shows me his rare, toothy grin which is followed by him bringing my chin up to kiss my lips sweetly. I smile into the kiss, feeling blissful, and very happy that I've finally found a way to 'talk' Eric out of arguments; because the apartment issue is long forgotten, probably dying somewhere down the hallway.

* * *

The following week or so, initiates begin getting called in for their scheduled job meetings.

The excitement is awake and oozing around us all, as each and every one of our friends all meet us for lunch with a new idea or a story about their unknown future. Melody decided that although being physically active and violent is always a must for her; she would rather spend her life working with her lover; for she chose to work in the Control Room. She also managed to convince Max to allow her to help out with the training of the new batch of Dauntless-born initiates and she prompted me to go ask about the transfers. I brushed the idea off, although I will definitely talk to Eric about it some day.

Uriah chose to become the Ambassador of Dauntless and he will be closely working under the Leaderships' wing. It shocked us all when the overly hyped beaming boy sat down in front of us and told us that he got offered one of the hardest jobs in Dauntless. Of coarse, we were all very supportive of his choice. I was also extremely excited because that meant that I would be training with him later on with time- because every leader should obviously be able to take over meetings and make speeches in the other Factions; if there is a certain change in a specific regulation which needs to come into the light. I also think that we will be training together in the Control Room, since we both need to understand how computers work and how to type up reports, since most of the time our jobs consists of us drowning under paperwork and documents. Well, that's what Eric told me at least. Even he- the youngest and harshest Dauntless leader who isn't very fond of the kid- himself, approved of Uriah's choice. Although his selfish motive is clear to me; that means one less chance for him to be visiting Johanna and Amity. He also believes that Uriah will fit in perfectly with the peaceful faction. And I couldn't possibly agree more.

Peter chose the path of the city patrol squad-which is ranked higher and is a more notable position than the Fence guards. It low-key saddened me when I heard that he wouldn't be spending as much time as we used to, merely because the patrol squads are always out and about- patrolling the Amity compound and the streets around Erudite, Candor, Abnegation and our own headquarters. They also like to be called for random, Factionless issues. That, however, is a little harder than the scouting around each compound due to Abnegation's interference with the swap of this law to a more 'peaceful' one- one which doesn't allow the Dauntless soldiers to come close to the Factionless sector- preventing 'uncalled violence' and 'to not disturb the poor souls.' I've had this conversation with Eric many times- and I'm glad that he and I are on the same page for this. My faction of origin is wrong, and I will do all that I can to change their minds. Marcus' mind. My father's mind.

Lynn chose to become a tattoo artist and a professional fighter at night. She can draw beautifully and I think that the whole faction will appreciate her stunning, bad ass tattoo designs. For the impatient, snappy and angry person that she is- drawing seems like it calms her down, and she's wonderful at it. As for the professional fighter; the Hell Hole is hidden deep in the heart of the compound. It is no secret, and nearly every single member has been there or has even participated in the activities happening. There's betting and challenges undertaken by any daredevil who believes that they have the guts to prove themselves in front of the Dauntless eyes. Lynn will be a trainer down there, but also the fighter who takes on the matches. People would either bet on her or her rival, and whoever wins the fight gets the points.

Marlene chose to follow the path of the Dauntless medical staff. She will apparently enter the nurse apprenticeship program where she will have to train to become a nurse- obviously- and then later on she can become a doctor if her skills are flawless. Marlene is precious and she's always been that brave, Dauntless warrior who would sacrifice themselves for everyone else. I think she will be the best nurse in the compound.

As for me; I can't tell them what I have chosen just yet. Max instructed me to prevent myself from freely speaking about my accepted position position in the program; only until after the ceremony where each and every job would be revealed in front of the whole compound. I continue lying whenever any of my friends ask me about what my choice, and I always say that I'm going with the flow until the very last minute. _Hopefully they don't get offended. I would obviously tell them if I could._

Now, I pant and gasp for air as I roll around the mat for what feels like the millionth time this hour only.

"Again." Eric snarls as he circles around me methodically, his stance giving away how he can literally snap me in half in a heartbeat. He growls when I take my time, my hands and knees too weak for me to spring up onto my feet as quickly as him. _A few days after my 'acceptance,' Max called us in to tell us that we may start the training hush hush, and since being physically more capable and more vicious than the normal Dauntless member is a must for all leaders; we began my physical training behind the closed doors of the separate, more elite, Leadership Training Room._

My body is peppered with all kinds of blue, green and purple blotches. My lip is busted and slightly swollen. My elbows and knees lack skin after the countless of times where they have connected with the sawdust-covered, sandpaper feeling of the arena's floor surface. I've managed to hide most of my wounds from the public eye- including my friends. But I don't know for how much longer.

In the beginning, Eric barely touched me. He would move away the millisecond before his punch would land on me. That severely pissed me off, because I wanted more. I wanted to feel his hits and know just how much it should hurt my own opponent when I master his teachings. He didn't agree on my first try. But after many attempts- both in the comforts of mine or his apartment and during the long, treacherous hours of training- I managed to get him to concede, but only with a warning that if I really wanted it, I would have to _always_ stop him if it becomes too intense.

 _I never have._

"Yeah yeah- take your time. I'm sure your opponent would love to wait around for you to catch your breath. Go ahead." He raises his hand up, his voice deep and demanding as he glares down at me struggling to get on my feet.

"I'm sure that there's no other opponent like you in this whole world. Who can smirk and toss around sarcastic remarks after finally getting a punch in the face," I mumble loudly, to which he replies with a chagrined chuckle before rubbing his hand over the light purple bruise beginning to form on his jaw. It was the only ever time Eric had lowered his guard down; and that was right after he slowed down, pausing as he thought that he broke my nose.

I charge into him again, and he moves out of every single one of my attacks- and I scream in exasperation. He grabs me by the hips and hurls me back onto the floor, before successfully pinning me under him. I'm too mad at him to even make eye-contact, so I just jerk my head to the side; my tired and wild breaths washing over the dust and bringing it to life around me. Then I look back at his face, catching him cock his head to the side amusingly, his studs glinting at the bright colors of the sun setting through the window.

"You're getting better baby," he assures me wickedly, smirking when the blush begins burning through my cheeks- like every other time he decides to say something affectionate and sweet. "And don't get me wrong; you can attack and kill your opponent easily. It's just you can't get to me because I know and have taught you the sequence of the punches and kicks. So I literally know what your next move is," he purrs at me and I push him off. He traps my wrist and locks it over my head, his lips brushing over my ear.

"If you wanted to hurt me- you're gonna have to surprise me." I stare at his blown pupils and shiver when I feel his hips move over mine gracefully.

I snort, shaking my head to get rid of the intimate image that pops up in my head. Eric's face gives away that he too- is thinking about the same thing.

"Sadist." I wave a hand in the air and he laughs before his teeth rest and rub over his bottom lip as his gaze gradually lowers over my body. I place my hand at the back of his head and my fingers edge upwards until they lock around his messy hair on top. He groans and his head falls onto my collar-bone as his breathing increases. I wrap my leg around him and he swiftly presses his palms against the ground until he flips us over so that I am on top.

I gasp out in surprise and he smirks at me.

"We should try this position sometime."

I cock my head to the side and he taps his fingers against the arena floor until I mentally warm up to what he actually means.

"Oh." Is all I can think of and I can safely say that only judging by the amount of heat I feel on my face- my expression says it all. He chortles at my face before pulling me in to kiss me breathlessly, his fingers carefully sliding up and down my back.

"Ew lovebirds, don't you have a home?" Eden breaks the silence and I immediately stiffen before attempting to hide my face in the crook of Eric's neck. He doesn't seem to mind that interruption, because his lips make their merry way over my jaw; down my throat and onto my shoulder. I clutch his bicep in a mortified hurry and only then does he decide to pay attention to the third person in the room- who is sauntering towards us with a disgusted look on her face.

"Don't you have toilet paper to go count?" He sneers, sending her a nasty grimace as his hand grips my hip firmly.

 _I have realized that the Leadership Program is a very tricky process, separated into different aspects. Although it is usually run by Eric- and in my case it is- I shall have to spend some time with the other leaders and learn about what they do and how their jobs benefit the faction of the Brave. My lover is in charge of the strategy, intelligence and safety of not only the faction; but what goes on in the other factions too. He is a very important piece in the chess game when it comes to relations between our faction and mainly Erudite and Candor (no one bothers Abnegation and Amity usually agree with what the majority goes for). His job will not become easier when Uriah becomes Ambassador; because he will still have to continue going on patrols around Chicago every now and then; he'll still have to know anything and everything happening in the whole city and he'll still have to hunt Divergents for Jeanine._

 _The mere thought makes my stomach clench horribly._

 _So, not only do I have to understand and follow what Eric is doing; I will have to shadow the other faction leaders for a small amount of time (although Max thinks a meeting or two with each of them will be good enough for me to understand what happens where and why; until I am able to build a branch on my own)._

 _Eden is in charge of the supplies imported and deported in and out of the Dauntless compound. She estimates everything; all of the necessities entering in here; from how many bars of soap Dauntless needs to how many points a month are to be distributed amongst the population. Facts and statistics are her thing- and I was not even surprised when she told me she was from Erudite. But that also explains why she's so fond of my young leader. She has spent too many hours 'babysitting his ass' for her to successfully become immune to his death glares. She's also the only other person I've seen Eric not completely shut out._

 _I'm perfectly fine with her meddling around with Eric; even more so when I know that she's in a very serious and long-term relationship with Harrison. The 'God of Weaponry' as they call him. He surveys the new tanks and trucks built for the patrol squads and is in charge of the infantry's training. He not only tests but builds new weaponry equipment and he's got a pretty collection hanging around down in the Dauntless Armory/Weaponry Unit. If an unexpected Factionless uprising occurs; Eric will calculate the good amount of soldiers they should send off while Harrison decides on which armaments they should leave with. And while that is happening; Eden will calculate the number of communication tabs and intercoms that should be divided and split amongst the squads._

 _Then there's Max; official head of Dauntless- although it's easy to say that no matter how much one soul tries to deny it; it is obvious that Eric is his right hand. Max is the person who is constantly calculating and rechecking all that happens in our faction, but also our neighbors. He would go to meetings once, twice, maybe even three times a day; depending on how long the duration of each meeting is. He will usually bring Eric along, for intimidation purposes and for the fact that together, they draw in more attention to the points and laws they want to shed light to._

 _My training is to understand that one leader's job cannot function properly without the help of the other. They are all a very powerful team._

"Ha. Ha. Ha. Don't you have people to go scare off?" She counters and he merely shrugs his shoulders; returning his intensive stare towards me. I look back at him and not miss how longingly his eyes flicker towards my lips. I grin at him and he smirks- moving in until his cold lips meet mine just as Eden starts making gagging noises.

"Please, at least we can't hear you and Harrison 'kiss' at night from our apartment," he rolls his eyes and I clasp a hand over his and my own mouth before trying to bite back a hysterical laugh threatening to erupt from me. I peer at Eden, who's face looks brighter than her pink hair and she clears her throat, clearly avoiding any eye-contact with me and the young leader.

"I've come to take Tris for her physical checkup. C'mon." She smiles at me before jerking her head towards the door. I press my palms on Eric's chest and heave myself up- and he uses my hand as an anchor to hoist himself up; even though he really doesn't need me to stand up. Immediately, he pulls me until I'm flush against his chest and his face doesn't seem to excited at the fact that I'm gonna go see Sara.

"I'll be fine, Eric. I'm gonna be with Eden and it'll probably not take that long." I want to avoid making eye-contact and reveal that in all honesty, I really do not want to leave him. So instead, I look down and let my fingers brush over his split knuckles, caressing them softly with all my whole and love I have for him. He growls unpleasantly but he knows I'm right. And I really hate it when I'm right.

When I finally look up at his face, he has opened his mouth to say something, but I beat him by the second- since I already know what he's gonna say.

"Yes, baby: I'll find you after. Although I might pass by the Cafeteria and say hi to my friends." He hesitates for a moment, before nodding approvingly and letting me go reluctantly.

"Bye, Tris." He mutters as I begin trailing after Eden and his voice makes my heart break. It isn't soft and pleading me to come back; it's more demanding and irritated that our training was interrupted by an appointment with his ex.

Who hates my guts.

* * *

"Fine...yeah...alright...tick...check." The nurse drones on and on after taking notes on the clipboard in her hands. She steals glances at me propped up on the hospital bed and I cringe every time. She's a pretty human being, but her personality or what she chooses to _show_ me makes her seem ugly. Since she's working closely with the Leadership. Eden told her why I'm being brought to her and what she's supposed to be doing to me. She snorts, as if this is old news for her.

"I know. Your statistics and your position has been revealed in your records, and since I have access to all the medical records and I've been skimming through the initiates' ones- it definitely caught my eye when I saw 'Leader-in-training' under your name. You're also forgetting that all government officials are constantly being updated with things like this, so there's no doubt that the _other_ factions aren't already aware of this too." She shrugs before continuing. Eden's face goes red and she looks like she's about to jump onto the smug nurse any second now. However, I'm still wondering as to what she means with the ' _other_ factions.'

 _Why would the other factions be concerned with what happens in Dauntless?_

 _Unless we're talking about a specific 'other faction'..._

She glares at me the entire time; her lips sealed in a firm line as she nods slightly before walking into her office to pull up and retrieve my medical record.

"Your vitals seem fine...-"

"We don't want our leader-in-training to have vitals that 'seem fine'. Everything should be flawless," Eden exclaims from the corner of the room and Sara turns to glower at me, as if it's my fault.

"Sorry, your vitals are _perfect_. Blood sugar is stable and pulse is good. I don't see any issues or severe dilemmas that might affect your training." She flicks through her clipboard with my information; her brows knitted together. "You don't have anything to share with me? Have you ever suffered a cold? Had a trauma that may potentially affect your future?" Both women are staring at me- one not too nicely. But I smile tightly and shake my head, shoving back bitter memories.

"Nope. I did, however, fall very ill sometime last year, during the winter times. I believe it was the only time I was sent to Erudite for medical attention. But I don't think that that's important." Behind Sara, Eden smiles at me reassuringly and we both nearly miss the nurse's crude remark about her surprise that 'Erudite treat Stiffs.' I watch as the older leader stands up abruptly but to my surprise, bites back her attack when I shoot her a pleading look to just leave it.

Sara isn't the first and certainly won't be the last person to comment on the tricky situation between the two factions.

"Are you taking any pills? Vitamins?" She inquires professionally and I am about to shake my head no, but the words come out without a warning. "Just birth control. Although I was advised by Dean to swap it to the shot later on. But that's it." She blinks a few times, as if in surprise that the words 'birth control' have left my mouth. She taps open her pen again before scribbling something. "Alright then; I'm giving you multivitamins to strengthen your immune system and Vitamin D since we practically live underground...uh...what else...oh wait actually; scratch the multivitamins out. I'm giving you this instead." She snatches the pill bottle out of my hand and rounds up to her desk before pulling open a draw. She then hands me a small pill bottle with no name tag. I shake it suspiciously before shifting my gaze back to her cold eyes; silently in demand for an explanation.

"It's a new pill created by Erudite. I completely forgot about it. Jeanine sent our medical ward an email explaining how this," she juts her chin out at the pill bottle in my grip, "is to be given to each leader. It is basically all the multivitamins needed for you to have a healthy and balanced inner environment." I nod slowly, popping open the bottle and it smells unpleasant- making me scrunch my nose.

"If it's supposed to be given to every leader; then how comes I didn't get a prescription for it too? Or Harrison? Or Eric and Max? We should have known." Eden narrows her eyes at the unhappy looking nurse who's lips pinch up unpleasantly.

"All in good time. Tris coming here has reminded me that the other orders have still not arrived. You will each be called in to get your own prescription sometime later this week. In fact, this pill bottle only came a few hours ago. If you're so keen on starting the pills then I can get them by tomorrow morning? Or maybe tonight?" Sara's voice is laced with mockery towards the leader, who growls angrily before refusing it harshly.

"Next time don't forget about shit like this." She crosses her arms over her chest before beckoning me to follow her out of the Infirmary. Me being brought up to always be polite, no matter how rude the person opposite you is- I turn to say my goodbyes to a scowling Sara, who immediately follows after me.

"Eden, give us just a minute, she'll be right back out." Sara slams the door after the leader's heels before turning to stare me down.

I raise my eyebrows and wait for her to continue. "Take two every day. If you feel nauseous or you feel like you have a headache- then it's working...according to Jeanine's email." Just by hearing the Erudite leader's name, my blood runs cold and I shake my head quickly to conceal the shiver running down my spine. "And don't make a big deal out of it. Don't go telling everyone that you were given vitamins that will boost your immune system better than the shit given to the norm." She spits the words out harshly and I knit my eyebrows in disgust at her tone.

I brush past her and gasp angrily when she twists to grab my wrist, pulling me back. "Come back in a few days or so, so I can see how the pill is doing you. Ignore the side effects and _keep_ going. It's an interesting pill and I need to know how it's working you." Her smile seems psychotic and I can't help but feel uneasy about this strange pill. Nonetheless, I don't question her professional tactics, and I just walk out- uttering another weak 'bye.'

* * *

The pill bottle is small enough to be shoved into my leggings- since I have no pockets- and I make my way towards the Cafeteria; where I am greeted by the suspicious, angry and worried looks of my friends.

"What's wrong?" I ask, completely forgetting about greetings at this point. Uriah sucks in a breath between his teeth before dropping his fork on the table and looking up at me.

"We need to talk."

"Oh no." I groan, slumping down between Melody and Lynn, completely ignoring how both Peter and Marlene exchange a weird look between Uriah's sharp exhales.

"Is Eric abusing you?" Peter blurts out and if my eyeballs could pop out because my eyes have widened too much- they would have right in this very moment.

"What the fuck?" I exclaim, pushing myself up before glaring at the few members who have turned around to see what's happening. "What makes you think that he's abusing me?" I snort, running a hand through my hair.

"Can you blame us Tris?" This time it's Lynn who surprisingly opens her mouth as she turns her head towards my direction. "Look at you. You look like you're going through Initiation _right now_. Every day you've been meeting us with new bruises and you never talk about them? What else are we supposed to be thinking?" I shut my eyes for a moment, taking the time to count until I'm sure that I won't just publicly reveal something that really doesn't deserve so much hiding and attention.

"He. Isn't. Abusing. Me." I say flatly, emphasizing each word on its own. No one seems to buy it. "He really isn't. I started sparring with him and he's been teaching me how to protect myself against larger and mightier opponents. Nothing on me," I wave a hand at my face, "Is forced upon me without my consent. As a matter of fact- it might not seem like it visually- but he's actually really against properly attacking me while we train together. But I'm the one pushing him." I take a deep, sharp breath after my rant before glaring at everyone's guilty-stricken expressions.

"We're sorry we thought of the worst." Marlene mumbles quietly and I can't help but feel like a horrible person for going off at them. It was a two-way street and I'm in the middle of it.

"It's fine. I appreciate your concerns about my well-being, but Eric would never, _ever_ lay a hand on me outside the arena." I smile back at the way Uriah looks more relaxed as he picks his fork up to resume his journey through the Dauntless cake. "Anyway, I'm gonna go find him now. I'll see you guys around." I pace away quickly out of the Cafeteria before anyone can call after me.

I make my way back to my apartment and to my dismay it's empty and Eric-less. I take the pill bottle out and push two of the small white pills onto my palm. Taking a glass of water, I down it and ignore the bitter taste it comes with. Immediately, my head feels heavy on my shoulders and black blotches appear in front of me.

I shake my head in an attempt to get rid of the colors and that's when the headache appears. I fall to my knees groaning as I clutch my head in my hands. My stomach clenches and I vomit on the floor beside me. My body crumbles onto the ground and I sob; praying that whoever can hear me can barge in and make the pain go away. My breaths become short and my body stiffens as I try and crawl towards the door, my cheeks wet with tears as my clothes are covered in my own puke. A small part of me is furious at myself for being so weak. Another part of me is confused.

 _Why am I reacting so badly? Was I supposed to eat a lot before the pill? What the fuck did Sara actually give me?_

My messy thoughts and the loud ringing in my ears barely block out how my front door unlocks just before Eric pops into the hallway. I can barely figure out what is happening, but next thing I know I can hear his loud, demanding voice calling something. My name? Me? He rushes past me and towards the kitchen counter. I hear him curse loudly before the pills that were once in a bottle wash all over the floor.

I try to turn around to face him and see what's happening, but my movements are very slow. But then I'm in his arms again and he cradles me, his chin resting on my head. I close my eyes and let the pain absorb me and the last thing I remember is that and we are moving. Fast.

Very fast.

* * *

 **Oh damn, drama drama drama!**

 **Thank you so so much for being so patient and supportive via the wonderful reviews and increasing follows/favorites. It really means a lot!**

 **To the guest who is always so hyped whenever I post- nah ah honey, it's never too much! xx**

 **I love it when I hear what you have to say! Hope I haven't disappointed this time. It's a long chapter, and hopefully I get back into writing more...writer's block and all.**

 **Till next time! XX**

 **N**


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